


In The Name Of Love

by Claretgirl16



Category: Holby City
Genre: Drama, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-09-06 13:43:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 59
Words: 104,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8754316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claretgirl16/pseuds/Claretgirl16
Summary: Set after The Kill List, this is my story for what happens after the end of the episode and beyond. Will it all be hearts and flowers now Bernie is staying, or will there be more drama for Berena?





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:-

 

"So....will that do....?" came the question part panted from the brunette who led beside the also panting blonde on the floor of the office.  
Saying nothing Bernie turned to look at her, a smile spreading across her face.  
"I think it just might do yeah, just..."  
"Just...might, is that all I get Berenice Wolfe?!" her eyes meeting the blondes.  
"Can I just have one more to make absolutely sure....please?" the playfulness apparent in her eyes.  
Seeing this look Serena couldn't help but tut playfully back, as their lips drew back to each others like magnets, unable not to be drawn back to the place that they'd just come from, savouring each other like they'd never met before.  
After a few minutes together their lips reluctantly parted, both women getting their breath as they did so.  
"Yep....that'll definitely do...I could very much get used to that".  
Hearing the response drew a smile across Serena's lips, still recovering from being against Bernie's, her eyes opening to look at the figure next to her.  
Opening her own eyes, the blonde turned onto her side to look at Serena, wandering them over her face.  
"What?" as she herself turned onto her side mirroring Bernie's actions.  
"Nothing....just looking at you....I like looking at you" causing a shy blush to re flush the cheeks of the brunette.  
Seeing her blush was one of Bernie's favourite things, Serena Campbell, one of the most in control and unflappable women Bernie knew, could be effected so much because she chose to look at her and wander her eyes over her face.

Leaning forward she smiled, her nose touching Serena's in a soft eskimo kiss, the pair of them both glancing towards the door as they heard footsteps followed by a familiar voice.  
"Auntie Serena...".  
Jason.  
With a haste and speed, the pair of them helped each other off the floor, looking around them to gather what pieces of discarded clothing they taken off of each other in their passionate rendezvous in the office, namely one striped blouse that'd come off rather easily followed by an easily removable blue scrub top and then a black vest, well they had to make sure that they were even, in every sense.  
"Yes, Jason??".  
"I've managed to find the key now, have you sorted things with Dr Bernie? Can I open the door now?".  
The women looked at each other as they finished putting their tops on, Serena making sure she'd smoothed her blouse down enough so it didn't look quite as creased, even though it probably wouldn't matter, Bernie making short work of replacing her scrub top.  
"What do you reckon, have we sorted things?" Bernie asked, her eyes not leaving Serena's, smiling slightly.  
"I'd say so yes..." returning the smile, before moving near the door. "Yes Jason, you can open the door now, we've sorted things out...".  
With a couple of clicks and a turn the door opened to reveal Jason, just as they'd both finished smoothing, or attempting to smooth their hair as best they could under the circumstances.  
He looked between them both silently, obviously trying to see which one of them might break the silence and speak first.  
Both of them looked at each other, neither quite sure what to say.

"We should have left to go home 31 minutes and 50 seconds ago, Auntie Serena..." as he looked at his watch.  
Serena turned briefly to glance at the clock on the wall of the office, before turning back around, grateful of the awkward silence being broken.  
"Oh right yes, yes you're right Jason, erm...right let's get our things together and get going home..." her eyes returning to look at the blonde next to her.  
"Would you like to come with us too?" came the soft question.  
Not expecting this, Bernie looked at her for a few seconds, surprised but in a good way, knowing the answer in an instant.  
She nodded. "Yeah, if that's ok?".  
"You don't mind Bernie coming back to ours do you Jason?".  
"No that's ok, will she watch Pointless with me, she's probably better at guessing the top answers than you are..".  
Serena gave a soft chuckle.  
"Well I don't know, you'll have to ask her...".  
"Will you Dr Bernie, will you watch Pointless with me tonight?".  
Bernie couldn't help but smile at his request and how eager he seemed in asking her.  
"Of course I will Jason, although I'll probably not be getting the top answers, not with how clever you are".  
Jason smiled at her answer, proudly.  
"Come on then, we don't want to miss it, plus it's pie night tonight, that's another thing we don't want to miss, come on Auntie Serena...".  
"Ok, ok Jason I'm coming I just need to get my coat and bag and then I'm already...".  
"You too Dr Bernie, it's pie night tonight, one of my favourites...".  
Bernie couldn't help but smile again at his enthusiasm, as she too moved to get her coat and bag from the coat stand in the corner of the office.  
After they all had their things, they made their way out of the hospital and into the car park.  
"How are we getting home Auntie Serena...".  
"I can drive if you want..although it'll have to be your car because mine isn't quite big enough to squeeze all of us in unfortunately..." was the quick answer from Bernie before Serena even had time to respond to him.  
"Yes, ok that'd work for me.." she smiled as they all got into Serena's car, Bernie in the driver's seat, Serena in the front passenger seat and Jason happily settled in the back, his eyes glancing between the pair of them, smiling to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 :-

 

Taking his last mouthful of food before placing his cutlery down on his place, Jason sighed happily.  
"That's one of my favourite dinners...I'm full now" as he got up from the table with his plate.  
Serena smiled as she too finished her food and looked at Bernie sitting opposite her, finishing her own food just behind the other two.  
"Was that ok for you?" as she went to move her chair back from the table and start to collect the plates.  
Bernie glanced up after putting her cutlery on her empty plate.  
"It was lovely, thank you".  
The brunette smiled at her, as she took both the plates into the kitchen, opening the dishwasher and putting them in, Jason having already put his in and then moved into the living room.  
"Can I do anything?" Bernie asked moving into the kitchen with Serena.  
"No it's ok there's nothing to do, the dishwasher does it all, saves us a job".  
She got a dishwasher cleaning pod out of the cupboard, put it in the machine, before closing the door and turning it on. 

 

Her attention then diverting back to the woman still standing in the kitchen with her.  
"All done, shall we go into the living room now?".  
Bernie studied her face for a moment.  
"In a second, come here...." she whispered.  
In silence Serena did as requested and moved to stand in front of the other woman, a smile starting across her lips as she felt Bernie's toned arms snake around her waist and pull her into her.  
She leant into her, her own arms moving around Bernie's waist, Serena's head coming to lay against the blondes shoulder, her face into her neck, as she closed her eyes.  
Bernie smiled at the contact, resting her cheek on the soft brown hair after she'd placed a gentle kiss there, her nostrils smelling the familiar scent of Serena's shampoo, it being one of the many scents she associated with Serena.  
Keeping their arms around each other, they enjoyed the closeness and quiet of standing together in the kitchen, the first time they'd had an embrace like this, since they couldn't do it at work and they'd not done it in Bernie's place, it was a first, a first of many they both hoped.  
Gently Bernie stroked her hand against the small of Serena's back over her blouse, the action causing the brown haired woman in her arms to relax slightly more, her nose giving a soft nuzzle to the neck to which it was leant, this causing Bernie to smile to herself.  
"Bernie, Pointless is starting and you said you'd watch it with me" came the voice from the living room.  
Bernie gave a soft chuckle.  
"He doesn't forget a thing does he..".  
"Nope, not a trick that one, no matter how many things have been said during the day, if you say you'll watch Pointless with him he'll never forget that because, as he says Dr Bernie is probably better at guessing the top answers than me..." came the reply from under Bernie's chin.  
"I doubt I'll be winning against Jason somehow Serena...".  
Serena chuckled.  
"I think we better go and see before he comes in here and drags you into the living room himself..".  
With one last squeeze of each other, they reluctantly parted from the others arms and made their way together into the living room. 

 

Jason was settled into one of the big chairs nearest the big screen TV in the corner of the room, looking up as he saw them coming into the room.  
"Just in time, are you ready they're going to give us the first question in a minute..." as he glanced back to the TV in anticipation.  
Bernie took a moment to glance around the room, taking in her surroundings, she couldn't help but smile at the small ornaments that sat at either end of the marble fire surround, as well as the three seat sofa which had one end slightly longer so you could put your feet up on it, the material was in a soft silver and grey fabric, with two scatter cushions at either corner, this sofa that matched the chair Jason sat in and the empty one in the far corner. Not to mention the fire that was in the surround, flickering away and emitting a soft glow around the room, this room is Serena to a tee.  
"Make yourself at home.." motioning for Bernie to sit down.  
Bernie smiled, moving to the sofa and sitting down, making herself comfy as she glanced to see Serena sitting down beside her, her eyes moving to look at the brunette.  
Without a word Serena settled herself and then came to rest herself against the blonde, her head then naturally coming to rest on Bernie's shoulder.  
Feeling this comforting weight appear, caused her to move her hand from beside her thigh slightly, as it found the hand it was searching for close by, that of Serena's, who also it seemed was anticipating or maybe hoping that this would happen. As the left hand of the blonde found the right of the brunette, their fingers linked together, all the digits easily finding their way into the spaces of the others, as if they'd always been there.  
"National flags with a vertical tricolour...?" repeated Jason as they moved towards the end of Pointless.  
As the various rounds of the show had happened it was apparent that his knowledge and intelligence stretched far and wide as far as subjects were concerned, both of the women hadn't even heard of half of the answers he'd come up.  
If you'd need or want someone in your pub quiz team, Jason was definitely your man.  
"Mali..." came Bernie's answer.  
She smiled as he looked across at her in amazement as well as surprise when it was announced that it indeed was a Pointless answer to the question that the team on TV had failed to get.  
"Mali....how did you know that?" came the enquiry from him.  
"I liked Geography in school and was quite good at learning the different flags of the countries and so on..." the smile still there as she shrugged generally.  
"Well, I must say I'm impressed Bernie, even I didn't get that one....we must watch this together more often.." came the reply.  
Watching and hearing them together and how easy Jason seemed to get along and connect with Bernie caused Serena to smile to herself.  
"I'd like that..." smiled Bernie.  
His smiling eyes moved to the other woman on the sofa.  
"Auntie Serena...does this mean that Bernie can be here whenever she wants, seen as you love her and she loves you, also that she watches Pointless with me and knows some answers I don't know and she enjoys pies like I do...".  
He really doesn't miss anything at all, he might have his own difficulties but he knows and picks up on more than people might give him credit for.  
"Erm, well that's not really up to me Jason, that's up to Bernie, if she wants to be here with us and do them things then she's welcome to" Serena answered.  
"Will you Bernie, will you come here all the time and watch the quizzes with me, we can do them together and if you're here then you can be with and spend time with Auntie Serena, because she's happy when you're around, when you're not she's grumpy and sad and she always frowns...".  
Keeping her eyes on him as he spoke, caused the blonde woman to smile even wider at his honesty and obvious want for her company with him and Serena.  
"I'd really like that Jason...." causing him to smile even wider as he got up from the chair and made his way over to where they were sat, leaning down he rubbed her shoulder gently with his hand, the grin wide over his face.  
Matching his soft gesture, Bernie gently touched the back of his hand and gently squeezed it, loving how happy and calm he seemed in her presence.  
"I'm going to get a drink and head up to my room Auntie Serena, it's been quite a day.." as he moved along to his Auntie, gave her their version of a hug and then moved into the kitchen, before his footsteps could be heard padding up the stairs, giving one last good night call to them both, followed by the sound of his bedroom door shutting behind him.

 

"And then there was two..." Bernie whispered, her eyes looking down to the woman beside her.  
"Yes indeed Major Wolfe, whatever shall we do now..?" meeting Bernie's eyes.  
Bernie studied her features, unable to take her eyes off Serena.  
"You're so beautiful..so beautiful..." she whispered lovingly.  
A blush crept across Serena's cheeks at the compliment, her eyes dipping shyly, before feeling a hand on her chin, gently tilting it back up so she was looking back at Bernie.  
Keeping her hand where it was, the blonde woman leant down and touched her lips to the brunette, feeling Serena part her lips, Bernie deepened the kiss, her own lips parting as she moved her arms to gently pull the other woman up to her level, then snaking them around her body, holding her against her as their lips moulded together, as she felt hands come to be tangled in her hair, fingers holding her head close. Parting only briefly to catch their breath, lips were touching again, hands grasping fistfuls of clothes, as if they were trying to blend their bodies into one, not wanting any kind of space or gap between them.  
Time seemed to stand still, not be thought of, not matter when they were together, they became wrapped in each other and their own bubble, all that mattered was that they were here, just the two of them.  
An unnoticed amount of time passed before they parted from the others mouths, eyes sparkling with love, cheeks rosy from the fire and the heat between them both at their heated moments.  
Unable to take eyes off the other, they simply sat there, close, focusing on nothing but the other woman.

 

"I could do this forever, just the two of us..."started Serena as Bernie sat silently and listened.  
"I couldn't bare not being with you, being close to you, when you were in Kiev it was awful, I felt lost, sad, empty, like I couldn't settle, that there was something missing, I was lonely, even though I had Jason I still felt lonely because you weren't here, he's not you. And then when you said you might be going again today, getting a transfer to another hospital I felt that feeling again, that lump in my throat, the pain in my chest at the thought of not being with you, I couldn't lose you again, I couldn't...." her words becoming choked as she started to get upset, the untold feelings that'd hadn't been verbalised over the past weeks having to come out, needing to be said so they weren't being carried, weighing down on her mind.  
Hearing the upset in her voice, the anguish in her face, Bernie intervened.  
"Shhhh, it's ok, I'm here, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere ever again. I'm here to stay..." she soothed, gathering the brunette in her arms, gently rubbing up and down her back, her cheek resting against Serena's hair and her eyes closing as she continued the soft motion of her hand, a lump in her own throat when Serena got upset.  
Serena too closed her eyes, feeling her mind and body calming at the sensation of Bernie's hand on her back, gently keeping hold of the blondes black shirt, it almost like a child held onto a blanket for comfort.  
A gentle kiss was placed on the brown hair, the familiar scent flooding back into her nose as the lump started to retreat from her throat as she felt Serena relax.  
"I'm glad that you're here, that you came back.." came the soft voice from against the black shirt.  
"So I am, I couldn't have not come back to you..." as she glanced down as the figure in her arms started to sit up to look at her.  
It was now Serena's turn to look at Bernie's face.  
"You know what I'd really like...".  
"Tell me.." encouraged the blonde.  
"For you and me to go upstairs, shut my bedroom door, shut the world out and cuddle up..." a smile starting as the image flashed across her mind.  
"Do you know what, I think that sounds exactly like what I'd like to do...".  
With no more words spoken, the TV, fire and lights were all taken care of, before Serena took Bernie's hand and led her out of the living room and up the stairs.


	3. Chapter 3

With Bernie already comfortably resting in bed, Serena stood in front of the bathroom mirror, the en suite door open slightly allowing a line of light into the bedroom.  
Her eyes wandered over her appearance, make up free and looking slightly tired from the day's events. The day's events... she repeated in her head, a small smile spreading on her lips knowing that the events of today had led to this moment of her standing in her thin strapped, silk nightdress looking at herself and Bernie Wolfe being led in her bed with just a vest and knickers on.   
Yes she was 51 and yes she'd been married, divorced and got a child, well a grown up child, but it till didn't stop or prevent the recognisable pangs of nerves, yes slight nerves in her tummy. Not frightened nerves as such, but butterfly nerves, she'd got the woman she'd fell madly in love with in her bed and here she was about to join her in just her nightdress, the first time Bernie would have ever seen her with this small amount of clothes on, not since her brief time with Robbie, which even then consisted of her wanting to make sure he didn't see all that much of her, so made sure the lighting was at a bare minimum if any at all, to ensure that this happened. Not since then and before him Edward, eurgh that thought needed to leave her head quickly, had anyone seen her fully naked and in a lit room that would allow them to see her fully and properly, naked or with just a nightdress on, Bernie would be the first.   
Would she like what she saw? Would her body be good enough for Bernie? Would there be any parts she wouldn't like? Would she say if she didn't like anything?   
Now come on Serena, that's unfair, that's an assumption, you're not a mind reader and it's not fair on Bernie, she's neither of them two, she's her, she's your Bernie.  
With her little pep talk over, she took a breath, trying her best to calm the butterflies, with one last look in the mirror she moved to the door, flicking the light off in the bathroom and making her way into the bedroom.

Hearing the light switch flick off, Bernie glanced up from where she sat in bed, leant against the headboard.  
Coming into the room, she glanced to the woman in her bed, before smiling then diverting her eyes to the actual bed then the floor, causing Bernie to frown as she watched her.  
"Serena...what's the matter, are you ok?" she asked concerned.  
"Yes, I'm fine.." pulling the duvet back so she could get in.  
Bernie's hand lay on top of hers stopping her.  
"Look at me..Serena, look at me"  
After a few seconds she raised her eyes up off the floor, meeting Bernie's.  
"What's the matter eh?" she questioned again softly.  
"Nothing it's just I, I don't want you to....I just want...".  
Bernie didn't say anything, her eyes not moving as she let her speak.  
Serena sighed before trying again.  
"I don't want to disappoint you.." she admitted.  
The blonde shuffled from under the covers, moving closer to her as Serena sat on the edge of the bed.  
"What are you talking about disappointing me, you could never do that..." coming to kneel by her on the bed.  
"Well, you might....you might not like what you see now I've not as many clothes on, it might disappoint you.." came the shrugged answer, her eyes on her hands in her lap.  
The blonde woman shook her head to herself as she took the brunettes hands in hers and pulled her more onto the bed, so she was looking at her.  
"You could never ever disappoint me in anyway and let alone that way, you're gorgeous, all of you is gorgeous, even more so with less clothes, I think myself lucky that I get to see you this way..." making sure she had Serena's eyes as she continued.  
"Look at you, look how gorgeous you are, you are the sexiest woman that I've ever seen, I could just look at you all day, when I catch you looking back at me or I watch you walking around the ward and you're not aware I'm doing it, the amount of butterflies I get in my stomach is unbelievable, plus the fact I feel like I need numerous cold showers throughout the day to cool me down when I'm around you..." she admitted, the truth and sincerity apparent in her eyes.  
Hearing her speak and admit these things caused a red glow to colour Serena's cheeks, never having anyone she'd been with admit these things about her, let alone the woman she was head over heels in love with.  
"I have to say you and your curves are looking rather beautiful in your silk nightdress tonight too, I'm the luckiest woman in the entire world right now, the entire world..." she whispered reassuringly and lovingly into Serena's ear.  
"Thank you..." as she leant against Bernie, like her doubt had just been taken away in one swoop.  
Smiling she gently kissed Serena's temple.  
"I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be led in this lovely, big and cosy king size bed having a snuggle than sat here like this...".  
"I would too, much prefer it.." agreed the other woman.  
Bernie moved backwards off her knees and back into her place in the bed, happy to see Serena follow her, pulling the duvet straight, before moving to lay down against Bernie, who was more than happy to envelope her arms around her lady and kiss her head, before her fingertips lazily ran up and down one of Serena's arms, enjoying feeling the softness of her skin.   
They enjoyed lying in the peace and quiet, happy to enjoy the feeling of having the other close against them, something they'd longed for for as long as they both could remember.

 

No words were spoken or even needed as Bernie's hand moved behind Serena and down to the hem of her nightdress, edging it up so she was able to feel the brunettes skin at the small of her back and then start stroking small circles with her fingertips.  
Liking the sensation, caused a murmur from the woman led against Bernie, her eyes closing as she enjoyed the ministrations that were against her skin.  
"Sweetheart..."started Bernie, knowing what she wanted or was going to ask could go either way.  
"Hmmm?".  
"I had an idea that I'd like to ask you...".  
"What's that?" still not opening her eyes.  
"As much as I'm enjoying holding you like this and having you close, I'd love to have you as close as possible....skin close. I understand if you don't want to or anything, I don't mind...".  
After a few moments she opened her eyes, glancing to look up to meet Bernie's eyes.  
Well Serena you weren't expecting that were you, you thought she might think the total opposite whilst you were in that bathroom and now here she is asking to be able to hold your naked body against her naked body. These thoughts running through her mind, coupled with the look in Bernie's eyes gave the brunette all the evidence she needed.  
"I'd like that..." came the smiled reply.  
A smile spread across Bernie's face as she got confirmation that she could hold the woman of her dreams as she'd be wanting to do for so long.  
It didn't take long for hands to move to the place that they knew they wanted to be, Bernie's fingers back on the recently raised hem of Serena's nightdress and Serena's applying the same method to the other woman's vest, as if in tandem both garments went up and over their heads at precisely the same time, Bernie's eyes unable to help being drawn to and wandering over the smooth and soft skin of Serena's breasts and chest, her eyes taking in every feature she could.  
At the same time, Serena was mirroring the actions of the blonde woman, she too unable to stop her eyes drinking in Bernie's skin, breasts and all of the features that she'd previously not had the pleasure of seeing, only imagining what she might be or look like under her scrubs.  
"You're gorgeous..." came the loving whisper from Serena.  
Now it was Bernie's cheeks turn to flush with shyness.  
"Just like you're beautiful..." was the equally loving reply.  
Matched with Serena's blushes, before she spoke again.  
"Although I think you need to take another piece of clothing off in order for us to be properly equal Major..." .  
"Oh do you now Campbell..." as she watched Serena make easy work of sliding her knickers down her legs and dropping them on the floor to join the nightdress and the vest.  
"Now we're equal..".  
"Come here..." arms going around the brunette and bringing her to partly lay on her.  
Serena's eyes didn't move as she led naked against the other woman, not being able to help smile at the feeling of the full skin on skin contact for the first time.

 

"You ok?" asked Bernie.  
"More than ok.." was the answer, her fingertips trailing down the blondes cheek, down the side of her neck and along her collarbone, like Serena was exploring this skin for the first time.  
Bernie couldn't help but watch her, the concentration in those eyes, on that face, the face of someone trying to take all different information in one go, not missing anything.  
"Your skin is so soft...."whispered Serena.  
"Just like yours is, feels like the silk of your nightdress except softer..".  
They smiled in tandem, unable to take their eyes off each other.  
"If you'd have told me this morning that I'd be led naked with Bernie Wolfe in my bed I'd have called you crazy and made sure that you weren't taking anything..." chuckled Serena, which caused Bernie to also laugh.  
"To be honest with you I'd have done the same, didn't think I'd get this lucky in my life....especially not with you...".  
Moving her head forward, she rested against that of the blondes, their noses touching as they closed their eyes, their eyelashes brushing the others.  
"I missed you so much..." Serena breathed softly, her breath floating over Bernie's lips.  
"I missed you too, so so much, a piece of me was missing in Kiev, now it's back again...".


	4. Chapter 4

An arm crept out from under the duvet grabbing for the phone placed somewhere on the side table by the bed, with squinting eyes Bernie pressed the button on the side glancing at the time quickly before shutting the screen off so she didn't wake the sleeping woman beside her.  
4:45 am, bloody hell it's early, but maybe not such a bad thing, early waking means a bit more time in bed with this one, her eyes moving to Serena, who had now taking a position on her side, facing into the bed and Bernie.  
Mirroring Serena's position, Bernie led on her side facing Serena, a slight crack in the curtains allowing a trickle of light from the half moon still in the sky, into the room and over to the bed so it allowed her to look at the woman she loved.  
With her eyes fully shut, breathing steady the brunette slept soundly, totally unaware of the other woman watching her, drinking in the way her breathing sounded, the way her chest raised and fell as she slept, the smell of her skin because of them being so close together.  
God she's so gorgeous, so beautiful and somehow so mine, how did I ever get this lucky with a woman like her. I've not a clue how I managed to get a second chance with her but I'm going to make sure I take it with both hands and never, ever let it go, she's just perfection.  
Leaning forward she placed a ghost like kiss on the very tip of Serena's nose.  
Giving a soft murmur the brunette shuffled in her sleep, raising her eyebrows lightly, before settling again, causing Bernie to smile.   
Even in her sleep them eyebrows are still there doing their thing.  
Waiting till she settled Bernie moved close to her face again, unable to help herself in placing another of her ghost like kisses on the sleeping woman's cheek.  
As she moved back to lay her head against the pillow she heard another murmur, followed by another shuffle and then the brunettes eyes flickering open as she stirred.  
Bernie was quite content to just lay there and watch Serena waking up.

 

"Good morning you..." came the greeting from the blonde.  
The brunette smiled sleepily, yawning softly.  
"Good morning, what time is it?".  
"It's early still, about ten to five...".  
Serena yawned again before giving a soft groan.  
"Have you been awake long?"  
She shook her head.  
"Not really no, about five or so minutes...".  
Saying nothing they leant towards each other, pressing their lips together in a soft kiss, as Serena threaded her arms around the blonde, cuddling into her, Bernie smiling against her hair as she pulled her close, enjoying feeling their skin together again.  
"This is much better than my morning yesterday.." Serena admitted.  
"Much better than mine too...." agreed Bernie, before moving her lips to Serena's ear and whispering, "I've missed you so much...".  
Feeling the breath on her ear and the words from the other woman, Serena closed her eyes, smiling to herself.  
"I've missed you too...".  
"I think....I think we should call in work and say sod you all we're both staying here all day..." joked Bernie.  
This caused Serena to laugh.  
"Oh right yes, that's a good idea, take both of us out of the AAU and see the chaos that ensues because there's no one in taking care of the children..." she smirked.  
Bernie laughed at her answer.  
"Children is right for some of them lot in there sometimes, a ward...more like a crèche and we're the ones trying to keep the children in line.." she chuckled.  
This caused Serena to giggle louder, her eyes crinkling up and her dimples appearing in their regular place at the edge of her smile, her dimples only appearing when it was a real smile or something had really tickled her and she was laughing.  
Hearing the laugh of the other woman get louder and knowing what it meant, caused another flutter in Bernie's stomach, not there wasn't an army of butterflies in there constantly because of this woman anyway.  
"Maybe not a good idea for not going in then....was worth a try though.." Bernie smiled, her smile growing as she felt Serena press her lips to hers, loving the softness of them against her own.  
The both of them jumping slightly as they heard the shrill sound of Serena's alarm clock going off, joined then by Jason's in the room further down the landing.  
Keeping her lips to Serena's, Bernie released contact from the other woman briefly to stretch her arm to the phone and turn it off, before returning it back against her skin and then parting from her lips, smiling at her.  
"That was nifty work to turn that off then...".  
"I try my best..." she smirked back.  
"I think unfortunately we'll have to get up, don't want Jason joining us in here because we've not appeared from the bedroom, now that would be a bit more than awkward" Serena reasoned.  
"No we don't, only I get to see you like this in the bedroom, lucky me.." Bernie winked.  
Giggling again, Serena gave her another kiss, before reluctantly sliding out of bed.  
"Serena Campbell, you are just so so sexy...." murmured Bernie as she stayed lying in bed, her eyes running over the naked figure of the woman stood in front of her, the feeling of want tingling between her legs.  
Damn you Serena, why do you have to be so sexy and beautiful, I feel like a teenage boy sometimes or should that be most, no that'd be all of the time around you.  
"Oi you, less ogling and more getting up and getting dressed.." smirked Serena as she playfully threw the vest Bernie had been wearing the night before in her direction.  
Laughing as she caught the garment, Bernie pulled the duvet back and started to get dressed, occasionally glancing behind her at the brunette, in time to see Serena glance back at her, smiling shyly.

 

Just as they'd finished getting dressed there was knock on the bedroom.  
"Auntie Serena....are you and Bernie awake?" enquired Jason.  
With a look at each other, they nodded in unison.  
"Yes Jason we're awake, you can come in..." was the reply, followed by a click of the handle and him entering the room.  
"Good morning Auntie Serena, good morning Bernie..." was the cheery greeting as he smiled between them both.  
"Good morning Jason..." both at the same time.  
He chuckled when they responded together.  
"It's nearly time for breakfast Auntie Serena....only 18 minutes and 10 seconds to go..".  
She couldn't help but smile at him, he was always so precise and alert even in the mornings, compared to her, she needed at least three coffee fixes before she could start to function and be as alert.  
"Ok, how about you go downstairs and get out what you'd like this morning for your breakfast and I'll be right behind you hmm?".  
He nodded.  
"Ok.." his attention moving to Bernie as he spoke."Bernie, I'll get you a mug out and set your table place next to Auntie Serena..".  
Bernie smiled. "Thank you Jason..." as he disappeared from the room and headed down the stairs.  
Joining Serena, they shared a smile and a gentle kiss, before the blonde followed the brunette out of the room and down the stairs into the kitchen.  
"I'll do that.." offered Bernie in relation to clearing the table and loading the dishwasher as they all finished their breakfast.  
"No you won't that's not right.." started Serena.  
"Oh hush, it's only clearing some dishes and loading the dishwasher, you sit there and enjoy the rest.." came the reply from Bernie, already on her feet and collecting the plates and bowls.  
"I'll get the cups Bernie, so I can show you how to put them all in the dishwasher in the best places so that it's the most efficient and cleans them fully..." Jason explained as he picked the cups up, leading Bernie to the dishwasher.  
After Jason had bamboozled Bernie's brain by explaining the complex reasons behind the ways he stacks and organises the dishwasher, he headed into the hallway to collect his coat, insisting he was getting the bus to work, knowing how long it'd take exactly and reassuring Serena he'd be fine, with a little help from Bernie.  
Making his way back into the kitchen doorway he looked at them both sat at the table, putting his coat on.  
"I'm going now Auntie Serena, Bernie...I'll see you at work in the next 1 hour and 45 minutes..." checking his watch and then back to the both of them.  
"Ok Jason, be careful and safe, and make sure your wallet is in your pocket properly, don't want you losing your money.." was Serena's reply.  
"Bye Jason, see you soon, take care ok..." chimed in Bernie, smiling at him.  
"I will do, it's now 1 hour 40 minutes till work starts, so I'm going now. I really like having you here Bernie, Auntie Serena hasn't frowned once and she's been smiling a lot.." he smiled, looking directly at the blonde doctor, which he followed by his version of a hug for Serena and a touch of the shoulder for Bernie before heading out of the room, down the hallway and out of the door.  
"Well it looks like Jason definitely approves of you being here and you stopping my frowning..." smiled Serena.  
Bernie smiled as she looked at her.  
"I approve of being here, but definitely in stopping your frowns and seeing you smile.." she grinned.  
"It's funny that, because I definitely like you being here and you put the biggest smile on my face..." was the grinned answer, before she leant in, threaded her fingers round the back of Bernie's head through her hair, holding her head as she kissed her.  
The blonde responded with her own arms snaking around Serena as she held and kissed her back, just grateful to be able to do this in a morning, with the woman she didn't think she'd get another chance with. This sentiment being shared by the woman she was kissing, who thought she'd never see Bernie again, let alone be able to have her in her house, sharing breakfast and sweet morning kisses, all before heading to work.


	5. Chapter 5

With a not very eventful morning starting off, Serena and Bernie made their way around the ward treating and dealing with the various patients that had been sent to the AAU with all kinds of different things wrong with them, thinking they were going to have one of them quiet days with not many patients, which didn't happen very often, so the days you did get like it you savoured, enjoying not having a million people running around the ward like a army of ants, everyone trying to get their particular job or test done first.  
Hearing the familiar sound of the door opening to the ward as they were sat doing paperwork at the nurses' station, seen as it was easier to keep an eye on the ward and patients from here, they both looked up, getting up nearly enough in tandem.  
Serena glanced down at the figure in the wheelchair, frowning slightly as if she'd seen the face before, the man in the wheelchair looking up at her, instantly knowing who she was.  
"Well would you look who it is..." he started.  
She gave a half forced smile as he recognised her.  
"Hello David....".  
He smiled at her.  
"Hello Serena, long time no see, fancy seeing you in here...." he remarked, jokingly.  
"Yes, fancy that, considering I'm the joint clinical lead in the AAU and a surgeon.." she muttered back, not finding it funny, as she pointed to a bed for the porter to take him too.  
Bernie frowned at their exchange as he was wheeled away.  
"Who's he..?" she whispered.  
Serena looked at her.  
"Oh just someone I know, it's nothing.." was the blunt answer, walking over to the bed David was now led on.

 

After getting his notes and asking one of the nurses to get all the routine tests done for him, Serena was back beside his bed, looking at the papers in her hands.  
"So, it looks like what we're dealing with is maybe an ulcer..." her eyes then moving to look at him.  
"An ulcer....that's what is causing all this pain..?".  
"Yes, that's right, it's been left untreated for quite a while so has become more and more inflamed and irritated, hence causing the pain, nausea and loss of appetite you're experiencing.." she explained.  
"Now what?".  
"Well, we're going to have to do gastroscopy that'll look directly into your stomach to double check the size and severity of the ulcer and a sample of it, to check for any bacteria that might be present...".  
He sat saying nothing for a minute as she finished speaking, his hands on top of the covers.  
"This procedure that I'm going to have done....will you be doing it and looking after me..." his hand reaching up touching Serena's elbow and then her hip, the same time as Bernie was walking back to the nurse's station after attending to one of her patients, the touch of his hand on her startling the brunette and causing her to move back and away from him in the bed.  
Seeing the touch on the brunette the blonde frowned and stood dead in her tracks unable to move.  
"No I won't, there'll be another doctor doing that..." seeing him smiling at her, something then causing her to look up, her eyes meeting with Bernie's, who as soon as she saw Serena looking at her, carried on to the nurse's station.  
"I'll be back soon when we can get you a slot to go and have your procedure...".  
Reaching the station she looked at Bernie.  
"Everything ok?" she asked, the blonde with her eyes on some papers.  
"Fine, you?".  
"Yes, just got to arrange an gastroscope for David Wright, double check on an ulcer that's not been treated...".  
"I see, you know him do you..?"  
She glanced to the papers on top of the station as she spoke.  
"Not really know him no..." she began.  
"He knew you when he came in..." added Bernie.  
"I know but, well, it's nothing really..." moving her eyes to the blonde, before over to one of the nurses who'd called her name then made her way over, who Serena then followed to another patient leaving Bernie stood on her own, her mind spinning as to why Serena didn't seem to answer the query of knowing David Wright.

 

A good few hours had passed since the incident at the nurse's station and the two of them had become even more busy as the ward filled up in the afternoon, obviously too much to hope for for one of the quieter days, doing their best to split the patients between themselves and Raf and the other doctors who had come down to AAU to lend a hand, Bernie not having had time also to maybe take Serena to one side to ask again or question the David Wright connection.  
The brunette having seen his set of notes that had been handed to her, and taking a minute to pause before making her way to his bedside again with one of the other nurses, trying not to get too close, but then not wanting the nurse to wonder why she was standing where she was.  
"Well Mr Wright, we've got a space for you to go and have your procedure done now, one of the nurses along with a porter will be along very soon to take you to the special room to go and have it done, hopefully then when the results are back we can decide on the best and quickest course of treatment to sort out your ulcer, ok?" she smiled politely.  
He nodded and smiled back at her, watching as Serena had a quick word with the nurse about something and then returned to where she was, the nurse having moved away to go and collect something before she accompanied the patient.  
"Are you sure that you can't be the doctor to specifically treat me, I'd much prefer it to be you you know Serena, them skilful hands I'm sure you've got..." was the suggestive comment made, it only being loud enough so Serena could here, along with a quick hand moving from under the blankets of the bed and touching the small of her back over her blouse, causing Serena to suddenly move back again, her heart thumping at his hand on her, a lump forming in her throat at the feel of this man's touch, these feelings being made all the more worse when she moved her eyes to the familiar voice that was close by her.  
Bernie.  
"Ms Campbell, can I have a word please....now?" her tone firm, eyes not moving from the brunette as she swallowed lightly.


	6. Chapter 6

Shutting the office door behind them both, Bernie stood by the two desks, Serena behind hers, her eyes with the other woman's.  
"So..." the brunette started, Bernie immediately starting to talk too.  
"That David Wright....what exactly is going on with him and you...you said you knew him but nothing else, then after what I've seen today I'm not sure I'm fully believing that anymore...".  
"What do you mean what's going on between him and me...?".  
Bernie shook her head at that question.  
"Don't do that Serena, don't say that like you don't know what I mean, I've seen you round him and then twice today, don't deny it I saw you....you and him..." starting to lose her cool at Serena's avoidance of the subject.  
"Don't do what...don't ask what you mean, there's nothing at all going on between me and him, how can you even think or suggest such a thing to me?!" she herself getting ate up at the blondes questions and seeming reluctance to believe her.  
"But I saw you, I saw you twice today being touched by him, don't say it didn't happen because I saw it and I saw him do it with my own eyes...".

 

She closed her eyes for a moment as Bernie spoke, opening her eyes to look at her again, not wanting to think about him touching her.  
"Ok....ok you saw that, but what makes you think there's anything going on between him and me, just because you saw that, did you see me do anything when he touched me?!" she challenged.  
"Serena, he had his hand on your hip and then his hand on the small of your back!" the thought alone enough for her to feel sick to her stomach, not liking anyone touching her woman, it making her bubble up with what was that emotion....jealously, being protective, possessive but in a good way.  
"Yes, yes he did do that to me, but do you honestly think that I wanted that, liked I actually enjoyed it, that I was giving him the encouragement to do that to me?! Is that what you're actually saying to me, like that's what you actually think?!" was the reply from the brunette, now raising her voice at the accusations being made to her, her upset rising thinking Bernie might actually think this.  
Hearing Serena raise her voice ,feeling the temperature rising in the room, the blonde kept her eyes on Serena, knowing deep down that the woman in front of her, the woman she loved wouldn't do anything like this and that she'd not encouraged it at all, also the fact that she was with Bernie, she'd chosen to be with her because she actually wanted to be.  
Even with all this she just couldn't get the image of him touching her lady out of her mind. Why was he doing this if nothing was going on? What was the history between them both? Had they some secret affair years ago or more recently that she didn't want Bernie to know?  
All these questions was spinning around the blondes head, she needed them to be calmed, to be answered, to be thrown out and only Serena could do that.  
"I don't kn....no, no I don't think any of that...course I don't. I just....I just don't understand, I just don't understand how he knows you and the history you two seem to have between you, it doesn't make sense. This morning I asked you and you brushed it off, almost like there was something to hide from me..." her tone softening.  
The brunettes eyes didn't move.  
She hated disagreements of any kind with Bernie, especially these kinds of arguments, unnecessary ones, ones that had been blown up for nothing, caused by words not said, mistaken actions, assumptions.

 

Serena sighed, her blood still simmering as she steadied it to speak.  
"David Wright is an old friend of Robbie's, that's how he knows me.." hating saying that man's name but Bernie not leaving her much choice.  
"Ok...".  
"When the...the situation with Robbie happened, David would turn up on occasions at the pub or whatever and be a bit full on....he used to say how I was too good for Robbie and should be with him instead, he wasn't good with taking hints, call him persistent, because he certainly was that. Would try to get me to go on dates with him, say about sending me things, how he'd treat me right, be good for me, we could be a good couple etc etc. Then the physical side started, he called it tactile, I call it sexual harassment , but being a policeman, they seem to protect their own, maybe I should've told someone but who was going to believe me over a senior officer?" sighing as she took a pause.  
Bernie swallowed the nausea mixed with anger rising in her throat, how dare this man do this to her woman, put his hands on her and abuse her in this way. Serena should never have had to endure this kind of treatment, if she'd said no, then no meant no, policeman or no policeman, he should know better.  
The brunette sat down, her hands in her lap, taking another breath before continuing.


	7. Chapter 7

"One night he turned up at my house when I'd finished work, probably got the information through whatever channels the police have access too, had flowers and wine, stood on my doorstep, wanted to come in and share it with me. I was horrified, as if he had the front to just turn up and assume this about me, as if he'd not listened to a word I'd said, or did and didn't want to actually respect me and leave me alone. As I closed the door he put his foot in the way to stop me, this freaked me out and scared me even more, I told him to move his foot, told him if he didn't I'd call the police, say he'd turned up at my house and tried to get in, also that he'd been stalking me and wouldn't leave me alone. I think the fact that Jason shouted for me in the living room helped because I don't think he expected him to be here, or he just didn't realise he lived here. He retreated after this and didn't come back again, then after I'd finished things with Robbie I'd not seen him since, till today..." a deep breath escaping her as she finished explaining, her eyes darting to Bernie before settling on whatever paperwork was on her desk, her fingers toying with it.  
Standing where she was the blonde couldn't move or speak after what she'd just heard, within a few minutes she'd gathered her thoughts enough to move straight over to the Serena, crouch down to her level in front of her and take her hands in hers.  
"Serena...Serena look at me..." she requested softly.  
She did as asked and moved her eyes slowly to Bernie's.  
"I'm sorry for assuming, I shouldn't do it...I just, I just...." this was something she never thought she'd be admitting to Serena Campbell of all people.  
Taking a deep breath she tried again.  
"I get jealous.." she admitted, diverting her eyes down to their hands.  
Bernie closed her eyes.  
She'd never said those words to anyone before, not Marcus, Alex, anyone, she'd never gotten jealous towards anyone, only Serena. Maybe because she'd never felt jealous before, didn't have that connection and amount of feelings for someone to cause her to feel jealous, but then along came Serena and that all changed, the connection, the feelings, the desire, the attraction, everything.  
"Jealous...?" the brunette repeated, her eyes on the top of the blondes head, since she'd dipped her face from her view.  
Bernie nodded silently, wondering if she really should've said anything now.

 

"Of what?" asked the brunette.  
Right now what do you say, tell her all the truth or filter it and call it dishonesty.  
Bernie took a breath, she couldn't lie to Serena.  
"Of....of people like him, well no...I don't mean like him exactly.....I mean people who might touch you in a certain way and they're not me...people, women who might catch your eye, make you smile, grab your attention, who aren't me..." her eyes quickly glancing to the woman above her before back down to their hands, hardly believing she'd just admitted that.  
"Is that what you honestly believe and what goes through your head?" was the brunettes question.  
Bernie swallowed, nodding silently.  
"But why...." trying to get Bernie to explain.  
The blonde swallowed again, wondering if she should actually tell the truth, or try and work her way around the topic, saying what Serena wanted to hear.  
Her eyes wandered to their hands, fiddling with her fingers as she did when nervous, especially it seemed around this woman.  
"Bernie...".  
She puffed her cheeks lightly.  
"Sometimes.....sometimes it is yes...." trying to find the words to express herself.  
"Why though.." questioned Serena, thinking she might know the answer but wanting the blonde to say it and explain herself.  
"Because....because it is, because....when I see someone touching you, only briefly and in a friendly manner or something I do sometimes get jealous..." glancing up at Serena and then back to her hands.  
Serena watched her as she fidgeted.  
"Is there any other reasons why?".  
Again Bernie looked at the woman in front of her, her heart feeling like it might start pounding out of her chest, her palms feeling sweaty, her mind racing, knowing she had one chance to actually tell the woman sat centimetres away from her what she actually felt, for the first time in her life.  
With another big swallow, she tried her best to steady herself, moving onto one of the chairs near the window, having to take the weight from her already jelly like legs, still fidgeting with her hands, she could feel the brunettes eyes on her, which she met.  
"I don't....I don't want anyone better to have...to get you, some other better looking, smarter, funnier woman to come along and I lose you. You're the best thing to ever happen to me, someone who understands me, takes me for me and actually forgives me for being messy . Someone who's smile and presence brightens my darkest days, who just being around makes me happy and being close to you.....it's on another level, especially when I hold you in my arms or kiss you, I'm on cloud nine...this amazing, beautiful, strong, kind, sexy, thoughtful woman kisses me and wants to be with me..." her voice faltering a bit as she spoke, swallowing at the dryness caused by nerves in her mouth.  
Serena couldn't take her eyes off the blonde haired woman in front of her, never had she heard her speak this openly about her feelings, it was nice that she trusted her enough to let herself be this open.  
Should she intervene and say something, no, she was going to sit here till she was positively sure that Bernie had fully finished in what she wanted to say, she wasn't going to interrupt the flow of this woman opening her feelings to her.

 

Bernie sighed, this was hard, this isn't usually like her at all, but in front of this woman she'd come to adore so much something happened and she just had to take this chance, get the words out.  
"I don't....I couldn't cope if that happened. It's not something I can even think about happening...when you're here you make everything seem right, I feel myself, I feel whole..." this caused her to choke, fighting not to get upset, because that wasn't Bernie.  
Sensing the shift in her voice, the brunette gently touched her hand, this touch alone always comforting to the blonde, like magic.  
"It's like I feel with you....like there was something missing when you weren't here.." added Serena.  
Hazel eyes of the blonde that were glossy with tears looked up to brown eyes of the brunette.  
"Serena I....." desperately swallowing the lump in her throat that seemed to have doubled in size.  
The eyes of Serena didn't move from Bernie, waiting as patiently as she could to let the other woman get her words out.  
Sandpaper, that's what Bernie's mouth and throat currently felt like, like she'd been stuck in the Sahara for weeks, this woman, bloody hell making her act in this way, no one else had ever had this crazy spell over her, then again there was no other woman on this earth that was Serena Campbell.  
"I....Serena I....I..." come on Wolfe just say it to her, just say it, tell her, she shouted internally at herself, willing herself to say the words.  
Again she tried.  
"I...When I said I more than like you I meant it....I...I....I l...love you Serena...." not quite believing she'd actually voiced them exact words from her own lips.  
Did I actually just say that, I actually just told her that I loved her.  
Hearing the blonde say the immortal words could've burst the brunettes heart right there in the office, not with anything bad but with joy, the weeks of being without her, wondering, crying, wanting, yearning, going over in her mind hundreds of time whether she'd got the signals wrong.  
With the brunette not moving or saying anything, a terrible dread hit Bernie, had she spoken out of turn, had she indeed got it all wrong, read the signals wrong, got the kisses wrong, said it too fast, done too much, shouldn't have come back.  
The thoughts spinning in her head were suddenly brought to a halt by a voice.  
"Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say them words....just so I can tell you the same...." the blondes attention very much on the other woman as she spoke.  
"I love you too Bernie..." her eyes not once moving from Bernie, the brown orbs oozing the feelings of her words.  
Bernie swallowed hard as she heard the immortal words from the brunette, unable to stop herself getting up off the chair and over to the other woman, bringing Serena to her feet, taking her in her arms and pressing her lips fully to those of the brunette.  
Responding immediately, Serena's arms made their way around the body of the blonde, one of her hands moving to settle in its usual place ,in the soft blonde hair, held in place in a small pony tail.  
Unaware of how long they'd been stood like that, only parting due to lack of oxygen, their lips and faces flushed from their kisses, glad of the closed blinds of the office, preventing prying eyes of the staff watching them and seeing this intimate moment, they only had eyes for the other, their foreheads resting together.  
Studying the other woman's eyes, they smiled in tandem at each other, like they were psychic to the thoughts of the person they were looking at.

 

"Come to mine tonight after work...?" asked the brunette.  
Bernie nodded instantly at the request.  
"Is Jason in tonight?" she asked.  
"Not tonight no he's having a lads night in at Alan's and will be back home tomorrow, so I was informed by Jason himself this morning not long after we arrived in work...".  
The blonde couldn't help but smile at the prospect of having some alone time with Serena, something they'd not managed to have any of recently.  
"So that means it's just you and me all alone, just the two of us tonight..." she stated, unable to stop the smile spreading across her lips.  
Watching the smile appear, Serena had her own smile on her face.  
"That's right, just you and me, no one else...".  
Bernie captured another kiss from the brunettes lips.  
"I'll be on countdown till the end of the shift.." laughed Bernie, knowing she'd be willing her time away just so she could have Serena all to herself.  
Serena giggled.  
"You'll not be the only one Major Wolfe...".  
She pulled the brunette close against her body, wrapping her arms around her even more, causing Serena to cuddle against her, her own arms holding Bernie closer, if that was possible.  
With their eyes closed they stood in the office just enjoying holding each other close, liking the fact the office seemed to be the one place in the noise and bustle of the hospital they could escape if only briefly to share precious moments like this.  
"I think we better go back to the ward before someone comes looking for us..." prompted Serena, which caused a groan from the woman in her arms.  
"Unfortunately yes..." came the reply, as Bernie loosened her arms from Serena, her eyes not moving from the other woman's.  
"Hmmm?" she murmured as Bernie looked at her.  
"One more kiss before we go back...?" the blonde asked, doing her best puppy dog playful eyes and pout, which immediately Serena recognised and laughed at.  
"Ok, ok one more..." pressing her lips to the waiting set across from her, before reluctantly separating and making her way to the door, her hand leading Bernie with her.  
"Till tonight Ms Campbell..." was the whisper in the brunette's ear, followed by a deft touch under her blouse against the skin of the small of her back, that briefly touched her bum over her trousers, causing a light gasp from her as she walked through the door and back out to the ward, her eyes catching the smirk of Bernie as she turned to quickly glance at her and then back to one of the doctors who called her name.


	8. Chapter 8

"It was sneaky is what it was!" laughed Serena as she sat on her sofa after work with Bernie, both with a glass of Shiraz in their hands.  
The coffee table was littered with the empty plates from the Chinese takeaway they'd eaten, a half eaten bag of prawn crackers, as well as one empty bottle of Shiraz, with another half filled one next to it.  
"It wasn't sneaky....well maybe a little bit, but quick is what it mostly was, I couldn't help it!" laughed Bernie, it was true, she couldn't help it at all.  
Serena laughed again at the answer, she enjoyed it when Bernie did things like that, just little gestures at work, things just between them both, that no one else knew about.  
After the laughing had subsided, their eyes simply glanced to the other, the both of them sat side by side looking at one another.  
They seemed to do this a lot, even though they'd seen the other woman numerous amounts of times, knew what her face looked like, her features, they could just sit together in silence looking, gazing, whatever anyone would call it, admiring the face of the woman in front of them.  
"Have I ever told you how beautiful you actually are....?" whispered Bernie.  
Serena smiled, the hint of shyness in her smile.  
"You might have done....just like have I ever told you how gorgeous you are..." came the brunettes reply.  
It was now Bernie's turn to smile shyly, to have someone call her this was rare, but it coming from Serena made it even more special, especially because of how stunning she found the other woman.  
"You might have done..." Bernie started as she moved forward towards Serena, closing the small gap between them, her spare hand taking the wine glass from the figure next to her, placing them both on the coffee table, before resuming her previous position, her face a breath away from the other.  
Serena inhaled quietly as Bernie took her wine glass and then came close to her, her eyes fixated on the blonde, becoming aware of her breathing getting quicker, heat on her chest and between her thighs rising.  
Hearing the breathing of the other woman across from her change and being this close to her caused Bernie's breathing to also change with a rising want of her own, her body rapidly heating up.  
God this woman, just her coming close to me and I'm a mess, a heated, starting to heavy breathe kind of mess, no one else has made me feel like this, not even the man I was married to and he was my husband, only Bernie Wolfe has caused this amount of want and need in me.  
"I....I want you..." came the breathy statement from the brunette, trying but failing to control the need for the blonde.  
"Just like I want you..." was the immediate reply from Bernie, followed by Serena grabbing her hand and pulling her to her feet, crashing her lips against Bernie's at the same time as she led her from the living room and to the hall way, quickly up the stairs to the bedroom.

 

With the door quickly shut behind them, hands were through hair, pulling at clothes, desperate for the skin on skin contact that they'd experienced the night before, only this time it was going to be the closest they could ever get.  
It didn't take long for Bernie to peel away Serena's clothes, dropping them to the floor, quickly followed by her bra and knickers, not wanting or needing any kind of barrier.  
Serena's hand quickly followed the blondes, she too making a quick job of removing the fabric barriers between her and the woman she wanted, she needed.  
With both figures bare, their lips and tongues that had been parted for milliseconds as they stripped the other came crashing back together, steering themselves towards the bed, Bernie coming to be the figure on top as they landed there, her hands roaming up and down the curves of the brunette underneath her, these hands being mirrored by them of Serena, tracing fingers down Bernie's bare back and then down her sides.  
Parting to catch their rapidly diminishing breath, the blonde sat back up on her legs, straddling the brunette, her eyes fixated on the flushed woman beneath her, not waiting long before she gave her another kiss and then started the kisses down her neck, taking in both sides, taking her time to cover all of the skin here, moving then to either shoulder before her next destination of the brunettes chest and then breasts, a smile appearing as she heard the soft moan from Serena as her lips encapsulated a hardened nipple and suckled softly, her fingers massaging the other.  
"Oh Bernie..." her eyes closed, enjoying the sensations the other woman was causing in her.  
"Nice hmmm..?".  
The brunette nodded. "Mmmm" her body arching as she felt the same treatment being applied to her other nipple by the blondes mouth, her fingers tousling in the blondes hair.  
Making her way back up the other woman's body Bernie kissed a path all the way back to her lips, savouring the feel of them, feeling Serena's hands glide over her bum and give it a light squeeze, causing a shiver and gentle moan at the sensation.  
Parting again, she moved back down her body, kissing the now fully hardened nipples of the brunette, covering all the skin on her stomach, smiling as she saw the little collection of three freckles near her belly button, thinking how cute it was, this was followed by her tongue gliding along the knicker line of the now writhing woman underneath her, unable to stop herself placing a solitary kiss in the brown curls that were glistening between Serena's legs, smiling to herself as she heard the groan from the woman underneath, her hips arching up off the bed.  
"Was that a groan I heard Ms Campbell?".  
She knew it was, course it bloody was, and god how hot it was, as if I wasn't hot enough she just makes me even hotter!  
Serena replied with other noise and a nod which Bernie took as confirmation to what she already knew.  
Her hands moving to massage Serena's breasts, her fingers lightly pinching her nipples, causing another groan from the brunettes mouth, her body moving on the bed as she grabbed at the duvet.  
Keeping her hands where they were and continuing doing their work, Bernie kissed down the inside of each of the thighs under her face, her nostrils inhaling the scent of the want of the woman she loved, which she could see very clearly glistening even more between her legs.  
"Are you ok with this?" she murmured softly to Serena, wanting to make sure she was comfortable with what was happening, knowing this was her first time with a woman, glancing up the body beneath her to catch the eyes of the brunette who looked down at her.  
"More than ok, I want...I need you, make love to me Bernie..." her cheeks flushed, the big brown eyes conveying the message clearly to the blonde.  
Smiling broadly at the brunette, Bernie moved her face back to its previous position, her hands coming to rest on the curvaceous hips as she inhaled the scent of Serena again, her tongue getting its first touch of the brunettes core as she trailed it from the bottom of her slit to the top, her lips suckling gently at her clit, this action causing a gasp and moan from Serena, her hips bucking off the bed and into Bernie's face, hands gripping the duvet more.  
"Oh Bernie....yes...oh...".  
Hearing her response she smiled against her mound, releasing her clit, moving back to Serena's slit, deftly taking each one of her glistening lips in turn and tracing her tongue against them, her tongue then tickling the brunettes core, not entering her fully, but just enough to cause her to moan even more, her breathing to start to get even more ragged.  
Oh my god what is she doing to me, I've never felt anything like this in my life, my body is on fire and my head is spinning, not to mention the wetness between my legs, it's never felt like this with anyone I've ever been with before, Bernie certainly knows what she's doing.

 

A pair of hands threaded through Bernie's hair as she applied her tongue once more to Serena's core, pulling each one of her glistening lips into her mouth and sucking on them, her tongue once again sliding from the bottom to the top of the slit in front of her, trailing the wetness that had become even more so with it as she did.  
Oh my god she tastes as divine as she looks, I'm so lucky that I'm able to do this to this woman, going from just friends and colleagues, to falling in love and now being here in her bed, between her legs, pleasuring and making love to her, Serena Campbell you are amazing and I'm never going to let you go, I want to be here doing this to you forever.  
Feeling the wetness increase again against her tongue, Bernie moved her attention to the sensitive nub near the heavily glistening brown curls. Flicking her tongue up and down it and then circling it was enough to cause an even louder moan from the mouth of the woman underneath her, fingers getting tighter in her hair, breathing turning to panting as she felt and sensed Serena near her climax.  
"Yes...right there, don't stop, please..." her words trailing off, hips bucking even faster into the face of the blonde, wanting to maintain that contact where she needed it the most.  
Taking hold of Serena's hips more firmly, she applied more pressure to her clit, lapping at it firmly with the tip of her tongue, in between circling it.  
The feel of the pressure change was pushing the brunette even further towards the edge, not knowing how much more she could take, the pressure building up inside her, feeling sweat on her body.  
"I want to hear and feel you cum for me Serena..." purred the blonde against the already highly sensitive pearl at the mercy of her tongue.  
I think I might cum purely from hearing, tasting and feeling her, I don't believe that it's humanly possible for anyone else on this earth to be as sexy as she is now, oh my god I'm in heaven and she's my angel.  
Hearing and feeling the words being purred against her, the lapping of the blonde woman's tongue even faster and harder now, her own hips bucking wildly, Serena gripped the hair between her fingers firmly, unable to hold on anymore.  
"Bernie...oh...I'm going to cu...." was all she managed to moan loudly, before being catapulted into a place she'd never been before, her hips pushing up into the face of the woman between her legs that had given her so much pleasure.  
Keeping her hands firmly on Serena's hips, Bernie felt her own wetness between her legs at the sound and taste of the woman she loved coming on her tongue, holding steady until the brunette's body came to lay down again on the bed.  
Listening she waited for a few moments, hearing nothing but the sound of panting from above her, that sound she knew meant that someone, was satisfied, or at least she hoped she was.

 

Moving her head, she wiped some of the wetness from her face, crawling up the now sweat laden body of Serena whose eyes glanced down looking at the blonde.  
Kissing her lips to that of the woman she adored, Bernie whispered."Are you ok?" as she led on her side next to Serena, who remained on her back.  
Saying nothing the brunette turned her head to the side, her eyes with the blondes.  
"I'm more than ok....that was...well wow is a way to best describe it.." her breathing starting to settle and return to normal, her cheeks flushed as a smile started across her face.  
Bernie returned the smile.  
"I wanted your first time to be good, for you to enjoy it and you're wow..." she complimented.  
"It was the best because it was with you..." as she started moving from her back to her side.  
"You're just perfect, do you know that..." Bernie replied, as she led on her back, bringing Serena into her arms, the brunette settling against her chest, her own arm draped across the blondes stomach, cuddled into her, her head against Bernie's shoulder.  
"No that's you...".  
Bernie kissed her forehead.  
"Thank you..." came the whisper from Serena.  
"Thank you for what?".  
"For making my first time making love amazing and just being you" the brunette replied lovingly.  
The blonde met her eyes with the dark brown ones of Serena.  
"I'm the one who's saying thank you, a big thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be the one, the first one to make love to you, to touch you, hear you, feel you. Thank you for giving me a second chance to be with you, I don't know how I managed to get someone as amazing, beautiful and perfect as you but I did and I sure as hell know I'm not letting you go, people wait a lifetime for what I've found in and with you".  
Serena felt her eyes fill up as Bernie spoke, the genuine sincerity obvious in her eyes, no words were needed as she simply pressed her lips to the woman she loved, their kiss conveying all they needed. The love between them, the admiration for the other woman, the fact they were both grateful to have the other in their lives and they'd be damned if they were going to be torn apart again.  
Parting from the loving kiss Serena stifled a soft yawn, making Bernie smile and kiss her hair.  
"Think someone is tired.." she commented in a whisper, watching Serena nod and then rest her head on the blondes shoulder, cuddling close to her, Bernie holding her securely, the brown eyes of the brunette closing, closely followed by those of the blonde.


	9. Chapter 9

This was how it was meant to feel, the peacefulness, the calm, the safety, the love, just perfect.  
Opening her eyes sleepily, Serena glanced at the figure at whose arms she remained in from the night before, the blonde still fast asleep.  
She studied the face next to her, smiling to herself at how peacefully she slept.  
This woman is so gorgeous, I'd quite happily lay here and look at her sleep all day, the way her hair has fallen over her face, the messiness of the soft blonde curls, her lips open oh so very slightly, unaware of how stunning I find her, the lips that gave me so much pleasure last night, I'm lucky and glad that she came back to me.

 

Bringing one of her index finger to her lips, Serena gently kissed it before ever so gently touching it to Bernie's, careful not to disturb her.  
"I'm so glad that you came back to me, I was lost without you, lonely, my heart hurt without you near, I feel whole again now..." was the loving murmur, barely as loud as a whisper.  
As if her ears were radar and sensed the woman next to her, Bernie stirred, her legs stretching under the duvet as she began to wake.  
Not needing to say anything Serena simply watched her, smiling as she did.  
The blondes arms flexed in a stretch before settling back around the brunette, not before one hand brushed a stray blonde hair from her face, her eyes then opening, glancing to the brunette.  
"Hello you..." .  
"Hello there you.." Serena replied, gently kissing her.  
Bernie responded and kissed her back, holding her close.  
"This is the way I've wanted to wake up for so long..." admitted Serena quietly.  
The blonde smiled at the comment, nuzzling her nose.  
"So have I, it's like I'm still in a dream, the best dream...".  
Serena smiled back, snuggling into the neck of the blonde, giving it a soft kiss, her eyes closing contently.  
Bernie smiled at the action, this woman she was holding was perfect, her smile growing as she recalled the pleasure she'd be privileged to give her last night, the events engrained into her memory.

 

"You ok?" Serena asked.  
"More than ok, you?" was the immediate reply.  
She nodded. "Definitely ok".  
The blonde squeezed her gently, kissing the messy brown bed hair of the brunette.  
"I do believe we have a weekend off Ms Campbell..".  
Serena smiled to herself.  
"I do believe you're right Major Wolfe...".  
It was a rarity that they'd somehow managed to get the same weekend off, usually there was some reason or other why they couldn't because the AAU needed at least one of them in, but fortunately they'd been granted the same one off this time. The AAU will just have to cope without both of them for a weekend, get Raf and the others to step up.  
"That means that I get an entire weekend with your gorgeous self, both of us together.."Bernie smiled broadly.  
Seeing her smile, Serena smiled just as broadly back.  
"You and me together all weekend, no work bothering us, just us...".  
They both sighed happily as they squeezed each other.  
"Maybe we could go out somewhere for breakfast and a nice walk seen as it's a glorious day outside?" suggested Serena, the morning sun peeking through the bottom of the curtains.  
"That'd be lovely, how about that little cafe you said you like in the village?" was Bernie's reply.  
"Sounds perfect...".

 

Leaning down the blonde captured the brunette's lips in hers, pulling Serena closer against her, if that was even possible.  
After spending an infinite amount of minutes with their lips against the others, unable to tear themselves away, apart from parting to get their breath. Both women were now up and dressed to go and get breakfast together.  
Serena opting for dark boot cut jeans, flat boots and a v neck soft cashmere jumper. Bernie in dark skinny jeans, a plain scoop neck t shirt and canvas shoes.  
With both their coats on and purses in pockets, Bernie stepped out of the house, Serena close behind as she shut and then locked the door, keys going into her other pocket.  
"Ready to go?"  
"Ready to go.." repeated the brunette, looking at the blonde, stepping close to her.  
No words were spoken as they made their way down the drive and to the pavement, Serena on the inside as they began to walk.  
They'd barely taken the first step to their destination when Bernie had reached without moving her eyes from the road ahead for the hand of the brunette, feeling the brush of the other woman's skin against her hand, Serena accepted the gesture, her fingers easily slipping through those of the blonde, gently gripping as they started walking steadily in tandem. Feeling Serena's hand with hers, Bernie briefly glanced to her side, her eyes met with the brown ones of the brunette, happy smiles on both of their faces, this being the first ever time they'd publicly held hands.  
Wandering through the streets and crossing the roads, they engaged in casual conversation until they reached their destination.


	10. Chapter 10

It was a small, old cottage type building with black and white window frames on the outside, the sign also being black and white as it hung just above and to the side of the little entrance door.   
Inside the cafe it kept it's quaint and olde world features, the beams in the ceiling, stone floors, wood burning fire place that the staff would take turns to fill up and stoke when it got low in the winter months.  
There were various sizes and shapes of wooden tables around the place, some with more chairs than others, various comfy chairs and sofas were also available, their own coffee tables with them, a little set of stone stairs that led to a upstairs area when the ground got full just to the side of the counter.  
Moving inside the cafe Serena smiled, she loved it here, she liked it when it was quite busy because of the atmosphere it held, but also like it was at the moment first thing in a morning at the weekend, quiet.  
With Bernie stepping inside with her she took in her surroundings, immediately understanding why the brunette liked it, the character and vibe it gave off was homely, comforting, cosy, a lot like Serena then.  
"Where shall we sit?" asked the brunette.  
"Wherever you'd like..." smiled Bernie, glancing to the other woman.  
Serena instantly spotted the place, tucked in the corner a brown soft material big sofa next to the little window that looked out to the windowsill box with flowers in ,near the road that cut through the village.  
"How about there..." pointing to where she liked.  
"Looks ideal..." the blonde replied, following Serena to the sofa and coming to sit beside her after they'd both removed their coats, draping them over the back.  
Seen as it was quiet this time in the morning one of the waitresses made her way over and greeted them with a smile, taking their order before making her way behind the counter.  
Saying nothing they both looked at each other, silently taking the others hand and linking fingers, squeezing gently.  
Studying the brunette's face for a few more seconds, Bernie leant her face that little bit nearer to the woman's beside her, testing the water, wanting a sign that it was ok.  
Watching the blonde lean nearer to her then stop Serena mirrored her action, her eyes never moving from the hazel ones that were close by.  
Serena smiled softly, this followed by a smile from Bernie, before the brunette closed the remained gap between them and touched her lips softly to the waiting pair she loved kissing.  
Keeping her fingers linked with one hand of the brunette, Bernie gently held the hip of her lover, comforted even more as she felt Serena's hand on her neck.  
Parting from the kiss they looked at each other with loving, glassy, smiling eyes, the eyes telling the other without words that they enjoyed what they just did.  
"That was nice..."Bernie murmured softly.  
"It was nice, very nice..." agreed Serena.  
Bernie slid her arm from Serena's hip and around the small of her back to rest on her opposite hip, holding her close.  
Serena responded and shuffled to be leant against the blonde, both of her hands now either side of Bernie's one hand, gently sandwiching it.  
"I love you..." whispered the brunette, her eyes glancing up.  
"I love you too..." was the whispered reply, hazel eyes finding brown ones.  
They gently nuzzled noses, smiling again at one another, their gazes only being parted from one another as the waitress made her way over carrying their drinks and food, setting them down and arranging them on the table, as she offered them anything else they might require, smiling as she left them to enjoy their breakfast.

 

Steadily they both ate their food, sharing it with each other, sitting back against the sofa they relaxed, both of their tummies full and satisfied, their hot drinks half finished on the table.  
"That was lovely.." commented Bernie.  
"It was, I couldn't eat anything else.." replied Serena, leaning her head against Bernie's shoulder, lacing their fingers together, much to the blondes delight.  
"Me either, I'm stuffed" Bernie chuckled, giving the hand in hers a gentle squeeze.  
Serena laughed at her comment, squeezing their hands.  
"I need a walk to walk it off...".  
Now it was Bernie's turn to laugh at the woman next to her.  
"God you're beautiful..." was the blondes only words, her lips capturing the brunettes for the umpteenth time since they'd first kissed.  
Serena smiled against the kiss, pulling Bernie close to her, her hands holding her lovers face.  
"You're gorgeous and a fabulous kisser.." the brunette commented as they parted, her breath tickling the lips she'd just parted from.  
Bernie couldn't help the blush that caught her cheeks, shy at the comment.  
I love how she goes shy as you compliment her, especially when she's least expecting it and I get to see them cheeks blush.  
They continued to engage in small and easy talk as they finished their drinks, both then decided they needed and wanted a walk to ease the feel of the lovely breakfast they'd just eaten. Helping each other with their coats, they rejoined hands, Serena making her way to the till to pay, silencing the blonde quickly as she offered to at least go halves for the bill saying she could pay next time, this seemingly enough to emit another smile from Bernie at the prospect at coming here again with her favourite lady.  
They smiled and thanked the young man behind the till, as well as the girl who'd served them, making their way out of the cafe and down the road towards the woods that had a footpath through it.  
Shutting the gate behind them Bernie retook the hand of the brunette, both of them walking side by side down the footpath, grass and trees on either side of them, scattered over the landscape, the sounds of birds in the trees.

 

"It's so peaceful here I see why you like it.." Bernie noted, she herself enjoying the calm and peace.  
"I've been here quite a bit over the years, especially when I've had a hectic and stressful time at work or when things were hard at home, I'd take myself off and away from it all and come here, no one around to bother me, just me and nature. It seemed to fan the flames of feeling overwhelmed and stressed to the max, I've never brought anyone else here with me before, never wanted anyone else here in this place with me, you're the first..."  
Could she actually get anymore perfect. She gives me a second chance with her after I've run away to Kiev to hide my feelings, let me into her house with her nephew that she loves, shared her bed with me, let me be the first woman to make love to her, took me to her favourite cafe for breakfast and not denied me the chance to kiss her and hold her hand in public and now here she is, opening her heart again to me and allowing me to be the first person she shares one of her other special places with.  
"Thank you..." the blonde started, unable to help herself glance around for signs of anyone else nearby, which there wasn't, before she pulled Serena with her behind a rather large tree, the brunette's back against the trunk, Bernie crashing her lips with them of the other woman, her hands holding the hips of the brunette, with Serena responding and her own hands holding the collar of Bernie's coat, pulling her against her so she was sandwiched between the blonde and the tree.  
"Interested in trees are we Major.." Serena breathed in between kisses.  
"Only when you're against them with me.." was the answer, as she tried to get her breath, her lips crashing back to the kiss again, tongues re exploring what was now familiar territory.  
A single hand moved quickly from the brunette's hip to the front of her jeans, making short work of opening the button and sliding the zip down, this hand then making straight for her knickers and sliding easily into them, immediately being met with the wetness that had appeared there, this feeling enough to cause a groan from the blonde, as she used two fingers to trail the length of the slit back to the damp brown curls.  
Serena moaned at the touch, her hips bucking into the hand, feeling her clit start to throb with want.  
"You're so wet..." Bernie commented, repeating her action as she again pressed her lips to the other woman's.  
"Mmmm hmmm" Serena nodded unable to properly answer as she passionately kissed back.  
Moving her lips from the brunette's, Bernie peppered Serena's neck with hot kisses, her thumb brushing over the rapidly heating up clit of the brunette, her two fingers ever so slightly dipping into Serena's entrance before being removed again and stroking the wetness onto her outer lips.  
"Oh...oh Bernie..." the brunette moaned, her hands moving into the blonde curls, holding her lover more against her neck, her head lulling back more into the trunk of the tree, her eyes closed as she felt the wetness between her legs increasing rapidly.  
"You make me as wet and as horny as you are now..." Bernie growled softly against Serena's neck.  
It was true she did, she couldn't help herself with Serena, it had become this need to touch her, kiss her, she couldn't keep her hands off her and now after being able to taste her and make love to her, hear her sounds and noises, it'd just made it ten times....no a hundred times harder, Serena Campbell was irresistible and sexy as hell, hence why she couldn't stop herself right now.  
"I need you..." groaned the brunette, her body aching for the blonde.  
Smiling at this, Bernie moved her kisses from Serena's neck to her lips, their tongues taking up their usual positions, the Major moving the surgeon further off the floor and up the tree to allow her easier access as her fingers re entered the hot core of the other woman, which emitted a louder moan from Serena, her hips immediately bucking into the hand, another moan as she felt the thumb massaging her clit, her head spinning at the sensation Bernie was causing in her.  
Oh my god what is this woman doing to me, her hands and kisses send my temperature through the roof, my head is like a whirling dervish, my core and clit ache for her touch to release me, she's so gorgeous and strong and when she's near me I just want to touch and kiss her, be near her, I can't not be touching her or holding her hand, she's amazing.  
"As much as I need you.." Bernie replied, increasing the speed of her fingers in and out of the brunette, her thumb circling and then rubbing from left to right over Serena's clit, her own wetness increasing by the minute as she heard the moans from the woman riding her hand, her fingers being clamped around.  
"I'm...so...clo..." was all the brunette could moan through her pants into Bernie's mouth as they kissed, gripping even tighter to the shoulders of the other woman's coat, knowing how close she was.  
Wanting to hear the same noise and feel the brunette come like she had last night, Bernie upped the pace one final time, her fingers pumping and her thumb rubbing the now pulsating clit underneath it, knowing how close Serena was from her cores grip around her fingers.  
"I know...I can feel you..." purred the blonde.  
One more movement of her wrist and thumb the brunette clamped her core fully around Bernie's fingers, flooding over her hand as she did so, unable to stop herself moaning the name of the woman who'd caused her so much pleasure, parting from Bernie's lips, Serena was panting trying to get her breath, causing a satisfied smile from the blonde.  
With her eyes closed as she continued panting, she felt her body being lowered the little way back down to the floor, her back remaining against the tree trunk. Bernie held her position at the same time as gently removing her hand from the brunette's knickers, settling on the hip of her woman, allowing her get her breath back, Serena opened her eyes to look at the other woman, Bernie already looking at her with a smile.

 

"Well...that was a first for me..." the brunette having got her breath back enough to speak.  
"Was a first for me too..." Bernie smiled, zipping up Serena's jeans and fastening the button again for her.  
"You're a bit of a sneaky one aren't you Major Wolfe, doing things like that, in places like this...".  
Bernie couldn't help but smirk.  
"Only with you beautiful, only with you..." giving her a wink, letting her know it was true.  
Serena giggled softly at that, dimples appearing in their usual place.  
"Where were we? What were we doing...?" Bernie joked, loving hearing Serena giggle, it caused her tummy to flutter even more than it did usually around the brunette, if that was actually possible for it to flutter more.  
The giggle happened again, much to Bernie's delight.  
"I do believe we were on a walk around the woods.." chimed Serena, a smile over her face, which didn't seem to have left much lately if at all since she'd been around Berenice Wolfe.  
Bernie returned her smile, feeling her own cheeks ache slightly at all the smiling she'd been doing in a short space of time.  
"Yes, we were, shall we continue with that" she asked, her arms now circling the other woman, who was still leant against the tree as they spoke.  
"Come on then, you'll like it further round too, it's a lovely place here.." Serena replied, as she moved Bernie back, pinching a quick kiss from her woman, entwining their fingers and moving them back to the path to continue their walk, something Bernie was more than happy to do.


	11. Chapter 11

"Mmmm something smells good..." the blonde coming up behind the brunette in her kitchen, snaking her arms around her waist, her front pressing the other woman's back, leaning down to rest her chin on her shoulder, her cheek against the brunette's.  
"Oh..!" jumping slightly startled before relaxing at the touch, smiling as she leant back and continued chopping.  
"The food doesn't smell and look bad too.." smirked Bernie.  
Serena gave a scoff and then a laugh.  
"Do you want to eat this food or would you prefer to wear it, Wolfe?".  
It was now Bernie's turn to laugh, not moving from her position.  
"Now let me see, would I prefer to eat this wonderful food that my beautiful, sexy, kind, thoughtful, amazing girlfriend is making, or not..." the word 'girlfriend' effortlessly slipping from her mouth.  
Well that's what she was to Bernie wasn't it, her girlfriend. Ok yes they'd not had an actual talk about, what were they 'titles'? But surely at their age this didn't matter, they didn't need them type of discussions did they, they were adults, they understood small details didn't really hold that much relevance. Serena Campbell was Bernie Wolfe's girlfriend, she was hers and no one else's, not Robbie's, no other woman's, hers, all hers.  
Hearing the g word slip from Bernie's mouth, Serena didn't say anything as she briefly stopped chopping, the sound of the knife ceasing to clink against the wood below it.  
Girlfriend.   
The use of that one solo word kept hold of the silence now between them, not allowing either to speak.

 

"Serena...".  
Still the knife didn't continue.  
"Yes..".  
"Is everything ok...?" suddenly doubting her use of the word girlfriend, but it was too late, she'd said it.  
"Yes, why wouldn't it be..." to the point and somewhat blunt sounding was the brunette's reply to Bernie's ears , loosening her hold, pulling away, panic starting to rise from her stomach.  
"I....I'm sorry I shouldn't...it just came out..." had she managed yet again to ruin things, that's what it felt like, time to go now Bernie, stupid move, time to get out of here, her voice with a slight shake as she replied.  
Arms being unwound from the brunette's body, bodies moving away from each other, feeling colder with every movement from the other.  
Before there was full loss of contact a hand appeared on Bernie's wrist, gripping it, the owner of it slowly turning so that she was now facing the blonde.  
Feeling Serena turn Bernie's eyes didn't move from their position, firmly fixed on the floor.  
"I'm sorry..." the blonde whispered, swallowing furiously at the lump in her throat, her eyes pooling slightly, her body starting to turn in the direction of maybe running from the kitchen.  
A force seemed to take control of her when she got this desire to run, when she became frightened, petrified, it was like she just had to bolt, this unwavering feeling to get away from her feelings, from facing things, she couldn't remember when it'd exactly started. Maybe it was a childhood thing, something had become taught, become meshed in her brain, told her that feelings were far too scary to face, just like the feeling of when she thought she'd done anything less than perfectly, this made her feel like running too, almost like it was letting down the world, letting Serena down.  
"I can't...I'm sorry....I shouldn't...I should just..." now the panic was more apparent as she struggled to babble her words, tears building up in her eyes and Bernie Wolfe wasn't allowed to cry, she didn't cry. She tried to pull herself free from the hand that had gripped her wrist, not allowing herself to see what she guessed would be the look that Serena held when she'd ran to Kiev all them weeks ago, she couldn't see that again, she couldn't cope, it'd finish her off completely.

 

"Bernie...." Serena started softly, her hand keeping hold of the blondes wrist.  
The blonde furiously shook her head, her eyes still fixed on the floor, not about to look up anytime soon.  
"I can't...I can't...I won't..." pulling her wrist in Serena's grip, before her free hand came to touch the top of the hand holding her wrist, going to free it.  
Serena sensed the blondes distress growing immediately, her instinct kicking in.  
"Hey now...shhhh..."not letting go of Bernie's wrist, quickly moving her lips next to the blonde's ear, her free arm wrapping around the other woman's waist holding her to her own body, before whispering. "It's all alright, everything is ok, I'm here and I'm not letting my girlfriend go until she knows and believes in her own mind everything is alright and she's calm, because I love her...".  
Was it the sound of her voice, the tone, her words....no it wasn't one of them things, it was all of them, plus the fact it was Serena Campbell. She always managed to drive a path through the chaos and wheel spinning that sometimes was Bernie's mind and slow the whole process down, slow it down and calm it down, so that the blonde was able to see and hear what was needed, calm the distress that sometimes over took her mind and body.  
After what seemed like an age to Bernie but was only seconds, the words registered, her ears and brain understood them and her body followed, it started to calm down.  
Saying nothing else since she last spoke, Serena did nothing but kept hold of the woman in her arms, gently rocking her, soothingly.  
With her eyes closed, allowing the brunette to keep hold of her, Bernie's body started to relieve the tension it held, her head moving to rest on Serena's shoulder, her nostrils detecting the familiar scent on the brunette's neck.

 

Moving her lips to the blonde hair, Serena softly kissed it, not moving her arms.  
Bloody hell Bernie, what was that all about, you got that a bit wrong then didn't you, wanting to run again would've been the worse decision ever and one I highly doubt you could've come back from again, thank god this wonderful woman understands you and sensed your panic, kept hold of you and calmed you down, you love her and she loves you for god sakes, you need to accept this and enjoy it, try to read things better in the future, she was probably just as taken aback as you were at the g word, you'd not used it before after all.   
Serena Campbell I love you so much.  
"I love you..." Bernie whispered, her breathing steady now.  
Serena smiled at the words, giving her a gentle squeeze, to which Bernie responded and kissed the brunette's neck, moving her head to be able to look in the big brown eyes she could gaze into all day.  
"S..Sorry for what just happened...." her cheeks showing her embarrassment.  
"You don't have to say sorry, I'm sorry if I caused you to react in that way, if my answer came across wrong, it wasn't meant to, I suppose I was just shocked if that's the right word. I'd often imagined in my mind what it might be like for you to call me it, but hearing it actually out loud, well that's a bit different, in a totally good way of course.." smiled the brunette.  
Bernie returned her smile as she spoke. "You like me calling it you then...?".  
Serena nodded. "Yes I do, I wouldn't want anyone else calling it me, just you....can you say it again...".  
The blonde's smile grew into a grin. "Say what again, that you're my girlfriend..." her eyes lighting up as she saw Serena also grin.  
"Just like you're my girlfriend...".  
They giggled, their foreheads coming to rest against the other, Bernie's arms coming to wrap around Serena, the brunette putting both her arms around the blonde.

 

"Now then Major, do you fancy helping me make this food, or shall we go hungry...?".  
"I fancy you more.." winked Bernie, which released a giggle from Serena, this being silenced as the blonde pressed her lips to the brunette's.  
They were that engrossed in each other that they didn't hear the front door opening and then shut, being locked not long after.  
"It looks like it was when you were both in the office, before Bernie shut the blinds..." observed Jason, his presence startling them both.  
Serena gave a soft yelp in fright, before realising it was Jason, keeping close to Bernie.  
"Jason, you're back..." was the brunette's response.  
"Yes, I'm here Auntie Serena, right on time as I said I would be....hello Bernie...".  
"Hello Jason, did you have a nice time?" smiled the blonde, her eyes moving from the brunette back to the young man, not sure what else to say.  
"I did thank you Bernie, it was lots of fun, it was nice spending some man time with Alan again, have you had a nice day?".  
It was the simple things in life Jason seemed to like, it didn't have to be anything overly fancy, or anything that cost a lot of money, he was more responsive and interested in having people's quality time and company, it could be as simple as watching one of his favourite quiz shows with him, or an animal documentary. He was a lovely young man and Bernie had grown more fond of him the more time she spent with him, it was easy to see why Serena loved him so much and watching him grow in confidence in his job and social skills just added to the appeal of him.

 

"Erm...yes I've had a lovely day thank you..." feeling a bit awkward because of the situation her girlfriends nephew had just walked in on.  
"Jason...I erm....what you walked into...." started the brunette, wanting to address the scene her nephew had walked into, all be it unexpectedly.  
"What you and Bernie kissing..." he pointed out almost immediately, much to the surprise of both of the women.  
"Yes that..." Serena tried to start again. "Well....we...I...erm...".  
"It's alright Auntie Serena, I understand...".  
"You do?" she questioned, her eyes looking towards the blonde and then back to her nephew.  
He nodded.  
"Yes I do, you love Bernie and she loves you, so you kiss each other to show that you do, just like people also hold hands or buy gifts, go out for meals with candles and flowers...".  
Well that was easier than it should or might have been wasn't it, that wasn't the answer that was expected, what was expected was some awkward and maybe slightly long discussion mainly on the part of going around the houses and trying to make all parties concerned feel less embarrassed, yet here he was simply setting out the reason he walked in on his Auntie and her girlfriend kissing, no big drama, they were kissing because Bernie loves you and you love Bernie. Jason sometimes you really are the tonic we all need in our lives, no complicated nonsense just blunt honesty.  
Both women exchanged smiles, which then in turn caused them to smile at Jason, all the while this talk was going on, neither had moved from being held by the other, a fact only just realised as they glanced down and saw their embrace.  
"That's exactly right Jason, that's exactly what they do..." Serena smiled, proudly at her nephew.  
Seeing the pride in her eyes, Jason returned her smile.  
"So when you do things like that again and I come in you don't need to jump and make that noise like you did today because I understand it all..." he pointed out, his attention then moving to the pan on the stove and the vegetables on the chopping board, half turning to look at Serena from where he stood. "Shall I help with tea?".  
She couldn't help but smile at the ease at which he took her and Bernie kissing, it should really in theory have been big deal, but here he was taking it all in his stride, totally at ease with his Auntie and her girlfriend kissing each other in the kitchen, then moving to look at the food that was being prepared, offering to help, partly because he wanted to and liked helping, but also he was saying he was hungry and to hurry up.

 

"That's ok love, it's all under control, there's not much to do, you go and relax in the living room, I'm sure there's a documentary for you to watch or something eh?" Serena smiled.  
"Ok then, I think there's one on NASA on tonight, that sounds rather interesting..." he informed both women, then taking himself off through to the living room, leaving the woman looking at one another.  
"Well...that went better than expected..." commented Serena, Bernie nodding in agreement.  
"Yeah it did, he's full of surprises is Jason, especially where we're concerned..." the blonde replied, smiling at the other woman.  
"I know, he's even surprising me, I'm fortunate to have such a lovely nephew....not to mention a gorgeous girlfriend.." not waiting for a reply from Bernie, her lips reconnecting to them of the blonde, Bernie only too happy to pull the brunette into her and lean against the   
kitchen worktop as they kissed, loving being able to have the woman she loved in her arms.  
Parting after the shortage of oxygen became too much for their lungs, they both looked at the other as they got their breath back, smiles adoring their now red and glowing lips from their kisses.  
"I think we better get this food restarted otherwise Jason will be in again, giving me my orders and making me sous chef instead..." joked the brunette.  
Bernie sniggered at this, stealing one more kiss before moving with Serena to continue preparing the food.


	12. Chapter 12

Bloody hell that's hot, I don't know how she manages to put her talented, soft hands into water this hot.   
Turning the cold tap on, Bernie let the cold water dilute with the scalding, giving it a quick stir with a stray wooden spoon that hadn't made it into the washing up bowl yet.   
I don't blame it either, I'd not want to be in there till it's come down a considerable amount of degrees.  
With another blast from the cold tap, she tried again, only this time instead of plunging her hands straight in she tested it with her finger tips, then edged the rest of her fingers, until they were submerged in the optimum temperature.  
Bubbles to the lip of the bowl, she began using the sponge to wash the pots, Serena had tried to say about them going in the dishwasher but Bernie wouldn't let her, the brunette had prepared and cooked the food, with only a little assistance from her, the least she could do was wash and dry the pots.  
I wonder how she's finding this relaxing and letting someone else do the pots, making her sit down and actually take five minutes instead of feeling like she should be constantly on the go, doing this that and the other.  
Oh well we're about to find out, talk of the devil here she comes now.  
The soft patter of feet from the living room, to the dining room and onto the lino of the kitchen floor, let the blonde know Serena was in earshot without even having to look around.  
"I thought you had your feet up..." Bernie stated, her eyes not moving from the bowl she had her hands in.  
"I have, well I did, I just came to see if you needed any help?" was the reply, the brunette leant against the worktop, watching the blonde.  
Bernie scoffed and shook her head, raising her eyes to look at the other woman.  
"The idea of putting your feet up is actually sitting down, not moving and letting me do the pots.." she smiled, knowing Serena wasn't the best at sitting down doing nothing very often.  
"I know but...oh I'm not good at the sitting down thing, not when you're in here doing the pots, it's odd sitting and doing nothing..." smiling back at the blonde.  
"It's called relaxing and letting someone else do the pots for you Ms Campbell. Not climbing Everest or anything, just a few pots and pans, oh yeah and the odd bit of cutlery..." was the sarcastic reply, unable to help herself as she smirked.  
Serena scoffed, swatting Bernie on the arm, unable to stop her smile growing as she saw the smirk.

 

"Oh that's how it goes is it, I'm here doing my best at cleaning these pots so my girlfriend can relax and the next thing she's coming in here, committing acts of violence against me....well my arm..." she joked, her face trying to portray mock shock, which under the gaze of the big brown eyes of the brunette didn't go very well.  
The attempt at mock shock, caused a laugh from the other woman.  
"Violence, I don't think so somehow Ms Wolfe, that's reserved for very exceptional circumstances and or people...." now it was the brunette's turn to smirk, cheekily.  
Bernie took a few moments to wander her face over Serena's, not that she hadn't done this a million times before, but she was doing again. These few moments suddenly sparked an idea in the blondes head.  
Without any warning, one of the hands from the washing up bowl sprang up out of the water, before it flicked out and sprayed the unsuspecting brunette's face with water, bubbles landing in her hair and on her cheeks.  
She gasped, having been caught totally off guard, causing a mischievous laugh from the perpetrator.  
"So...that's how it is, is it Wolfe..." the brunette putting her own hands in the bowl, flicking water and bubbles at Bernie.  
What ensued next was what could only be described as a tussle for bubbles and water from the washing up bowl, with water over the work top, kitchen floor and windowsill, hands flew in and out of the bowl, grabbing whatever liquid and bubbles they could and launching it in the direction of the other woman.  
This was followed by shrieks of happiness and delight, mainly from Serena, because the macho army medic doesn't really do shrieking, hers is more laughing from her stomach, proper belly laughs that are mostly around and because of the woman of her dreams making them appear.  
"That does it.." Bernie getting as many bubbles as were left after their open kitchen warfare, complete with a handful of water and moving straight for the brunette's hair.  
"No, no......" the third wanted no didn't come from a retreating and all be it playfully shrieking mixed with laughing Serena, trying but failing to get from the kitchen, through the dining room and into the living room, before Bernie caught her.

 

In a split second the blonde was on her, fingers straight into the brown hair and ruffling for all she was worth, the brunette shrieking again only these quickly changing into howls of laughter that were mixed with her hearty belly laughs, the type that came from your soul and took over your body, the tears starting from her eyes, her breathing starting to be effected too, joining her in the laughter that had erupted in the kitchen was Bernie, her arms went around the brunette and they both fell to the floor in a heap, neither bothering in the slightest, their laughter echoing around the house.   
"I...I can't breathe..." gasped Serena, still laughing at the same time as trying to get her breath.  
Hearing her laughing caused Bernie to carrying on too, the sound of the woman in her arms belly laugh, enough to cause the rippling laughter to carry on, her own stomach hurting and her breathing ragged.  
"Me...me either..." replied the blonde.  
They glanced to each other, their cheeks reddened by their activities, hair all out of place and messed up, wet from the water and bubbles, neither of them bothered in the slightest, their chests rising up and down rapidly, trying to get their breath back.  
"It's a good job Jason can't hear a thing when he's got his headphones on his room, he might have thought there was something horrific going on in this kitchen.." Serena pointed out, a wide smile still stuck on her face.  
Bernie grinned back.  
"Fun yes, horrific never..." she replied, moving herself so she was laying over the top of Serena, leaning on her forearms either side of the brunette's head, liking the feeling of her girlfriends hands trailing down her sides and then linking at the small of her back.  
"I wasn't expecting to be in this position when I came into the kitchen to see how you were getting on with the pots..." the brunette said before giggling.  
Bernie chuckled.  
"Me either, but I couldn't resist when you hit my arm, I just sort of did it and then it all started..".  
"I'm glad you did, it was fun even though my kitchen now resembles, well....part swimming pool, part kitchen.." she giggled again, knowing it could be cleaned up easily, her eyes not moving from the woman above her.  
Again the blonde chuckled, due to the beautiful brunette underneath her giggling.

 

"You're still sexy, even with your hair like this..." the blonde unable to resist running her fingers through the hair of the brunette, giving it a soft ruffle, adding to if that was possible, the way it was sticking up all over the place.  
A hint of shyness was detectable on the brunette's cheeks and in her eyes as she smiled, her own fingers moving through blonde curls, giving Bernie's hair the same treatment.  
"You're not doing too bad with your own wig..." she replied cheekily, her eyes lighting up with love and playfulness, her hand ruffling her girlfriends hair like Bernie had with hers.  
"Such cheek from you, I think you need to be scalded..." Bernie chuckled, not waiting for Serena's response before she leant down and blew soft raspberries against the neck of the other woman.  
Feeling the air and lips against her soft skin Serena erupted into a fit of soft shrieks that were mixed with her giggles, the raspberries tickling her.  
"That....that tickles!" was the happy response, her body wriggling under the blonde with her actions against the other woman.  
Bernie grinned broadly against her neck.  
Oh my god them giggles and the way she wriggles is so cute, she's adorable, not to mention beautiful, Serena Campbell what are you doing to me.  
Sensing the other woman was struggling to breathe through her giggles, Bernie ceased her actions, happily looking down at the woman underneath her as she calmed down, Serena then opening her eyes to look up at the blonde.  
"You're amazing and I love you so much..." she murmured softly, her thumb gently stroking the cheek of Bernie, her eyes not moving from the hazel pair above her.  
Bernie smiled wide as she listened, leaning down and Eskimo kissing the brunette as she whispered.  
"Just as much as I love you".


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A kind of a little filler before the next chapter.

The shrill noise of the alarm clock going off signalling Monday morning wasn't what either of them wanted to hear, couldn't they just stay cocooned in the sheets and duvets together, not having to worry about anyone but each other, it seemed such a better prospect then getting out into the cool air of the bedroom when it was still dark like the middle of the night outside, and then having to drive to work and face whatever the day and AAU decided it wanted to throw at them today till whatever time it wanting to then free them both.  
With a groan the blonde reached out and hit it to snooze immediately, shuffling over to spoon the brunette beside her, her face into her hair, causing a murmur from the other woman.  
"Is it that time already...?" Serena asked, keeping her eyes closed, her voice heavy with sleep still.  
"Yep, unfortunately, I could've sworn it was Friday last time I checked..." offered the blonde, squeezing the woman in her arms.  
The last time they had checked it was Friday and they were looking forward to a weekend together. In that time they'd managed to pack in rest and relaxation along with a trip to Serena's favourite cafe for breakfast, a steamy love session in the wood, a bubble and water fight, a lazy and chilled Sunday in which they enjoyed a lie in and then spent the day curled up inside watching random things on TV with Jason pottering around the house doing various things, followed by an afternoon cooking a Sunday roast together, Jason insisting he help out, which Serena obliged, he wanted the important job of doing the chopping, so that there was no chance of his Auntie getting injured with the sharp knife, even though she'd done it many time before.

 

Their Sunday night made up of sitting together on the sofa, watching some programme that Jason had put on before he decided to call it a night a time later, leaving just the two of them, which not long after they followed Jason's idea and headed to bed, not before they'd started making out on the sofa like a pair of teenagers, which then ended up with them laying on the living room carpet in front of the fire, still kissing and fondling, before they both agreed to follow Jason's idea of going up to bed, it being considerably more comfy than continuing on the living room carpet, that'd be for another day or night when Jason was away or they were alone. For the next few hours they'd made passionate love, their bodies eventually giving into sleep when they'd satisfied the other.  
Now here they were being stirred awake back to the cold winter morning that they had to venture out into for the sake of people that needed their help and whatever other people decided to get too drunk and need their stomachs pumped, or the various other cases that came their way through the AAU doors.  
The sound of an alarm in the room down the hall let them know that Jason was also getting up, no doubt he'd be ready before them both, ready and raring to go on this Monday morning, well he was usually rather good most mornings, more than could be said for both of them.  
"Is that our cue to get up?" Bernie enquired, not wanting to move from where she was.  
"Maybe in a minute..." replied the brunette as she pressed her lips to the blondes, her fingers trailing over her girlfriends sides, enjoying the feel of their skin together, getting to kiss her as they lay in bed together first thing in the morning.  
Bernie smiled at the action, her own hands moving so she could trail one down the back of the other woman and the other over her side, enjoying feeling her curves and skin.  
"You do know if we carry on doing this then you'll not be going in today, we'll be spending the day right here..." was the blondes murmur against the kiss, totally serious in what she was saying, feeling the heat starting to build between her legs.  
Serena smiled, her own core starting to heat up too, liking the idea very much but knowing it wasn't going to happen.  
"Mmmm now wouldn't that be nice...".  
"It would indeed" agreed the blonde. "But we can't...".  
The pair of them breaking apart from the kiss but keeping their faces close together as they heard Jason's door opening, knowing there'd probably be footsteps next, which there were, these made their way down the hall, stopping at Serena's bedroom door.  
He knocked.

 

"Auntie Serena are you up?" he asked, not opening the door, he'd picked that up quickly that you had to knock on the door and only if not when you were invited in did you then enter the room, if you weren't invited in then the door remained closed.  
"Yes Jason I'm up don't worry..".  
"Is Bernie up too, it's breakfast time...".  
Bernie smiled as he spoke, he never didn't ask if she was also up, some people might do, some might just ask about their Auntie and leave it at that, but not Jason. She couldn't help but feel her heart swell as he said her name, feeling lucky that he'd taken to her and bonded so easily with her, yes there was an obvious age difference but they seemed to have developed their own understanding, it just worked and she for one couldn't be more pleased.  
"Yes Bernie is up too, we won't be a few minutes, we're going to get dressed and then we'll be down for breakfast with you, ok?".  
They listened for a response.  
"Ok Auntie Serena, I'll just go and get the breakfast things out and be in the kitchen..".  
Serena looked to Bernie with a smile.  
"Ok love, won't be long, thank you...".  
With that the footsteps moved away from the door and down the stairs.  
Looking at each other they smiled, stealing another kiss and cuddle, knowing they'd have to get up, or face the wrath of Jason wondering why they'd not made it down stairs for breakfast, even though he'd probably know, just wouldn't feel right or comfortable having that frank discussion in front of or with his Aunt and her girlfriend.  
It seemed that even though they'd only been reunited a few days and Bernie had only been in the house a few days, they'd settled quite easily into a scene of domestic bliss. They'd been sharing the same bed, kissing in the kitchen, watching TV all together, eating food together, Jason knowingly knocking on the bedroom door of a morning to give them their breakfast call or just to say good morning, like it was how they'd always been.  
Even Jason who needed and had his own set routine seemed to have taken easily to having someone else in the house with him and his Auntie, he got along well with Bernie and this showed even more as they easily fit around each other be it in the cooking of food, what was being watched on TV or even the fact someone else was simply in the house, when it'd been just the two of them for some time now. He'd noticed straight away the change in Serena when the blonde doctor had gone to Kiev for her secondment, she was grumpy most if not all of the time and no amount of coffee in the morning or throughout the day was changing that. She was more snappy, short and just darn right miserable, a considerable bigger amount of Shiraz was being consumed at home during the week and weekends too, she'd tried to quickly wipe the escaping tears away when he'd come into the room or when she'd been cleaning the kitchen after their tea, or just in general when she thought she was alone and no one could see, but he'd seen her, he'd seen everything, it seemed simple to Jason and it was simple. Bernie made his Auntie Serena smile, laugh, not be grumpy, not cry nearly every night or every other night, not be drinking copious amounts of Shiraz more than usual and then make the silly excuse it was because she didn't want it to go off, none of this happened when Bernie was around, the answer to all this was easy, Auntie Serena missed and needed Bernie. That's why when the chance had come and he'd finally put all the pieces together in his mind and confirmed them, with a little help from Fletch and finding the stray gift Bernie had put in the bin he'd jumped into action, if these two weren't going to actually talk or do something then he was and the only way they'd actually be forced to stop being so silly and talk was to be locked in the office together, where they couldn't just run away and avoid the subject, they'd be in there till it got sorted out and they made up, because that's what was needed and it worked, the scene in the office he'd saw through the blinds of his Auntie and Bernie kissing was proof that his plan had worked.  
Maybe it was a sign that they were meant to be, that it was right, that it was love.


	14. Chapter 14

"Anyone would think you loved her or something..." came the quiet joke from Raf so only Serena could hear as he moved to the nurse's station to pick up some papers, a soft sneer on his face.  
Serena had been working at the computer for a bit this morning, not that she liked sitting here doing the general inputting information she had to do on a daily basis, but when she could do it and watch or should that be ogle Bernie as she moved around the ward between the patients and various nurses that wanted her, she didn't mind at all.  
The brunette turned to look at a smiling Raf, unable to help himself make the comment, catching his colleague unable to tear her eyes away from the blonde doctor she was clearly head over heels in love with. Yes Raf already knew but if he hadn't have been sure if that was possible, he definitely was when he saw how she looked at the other woman.  
"I don't know what you mean, Mr Di Luca..." was the sarcastic reply, a cheeky sneer on her face as she looked at him.  
Raf chuckled at her answer and seeing her smiling.  
"It's certainly not a bad thing, she seems good for you....".  
"You think?" Serena asked, ceasing her typing to face him more.  
He nodded. "Yeah I do, you can see it in your face and just in you in general, not to mention when she's around you or vice versa, I don't think I've ever seen you smile or laugh as much, you seem what's the word....content with Bernie..".  
She couldn't help but smile wider as he spoke.  
"Yes, she certainly makes me smile and laugh, can't remember the last time I felt this way, it's been a while..." pausing before continuing. "She's brought feelings out in me I didn't think I could have again, that'd gone, not come back again in my life....love...".  
He smiled as she spoke, touching her shoulder.  
"After all you've been through, you more than most deserve happiness and someone who looks at you and loves you as she does.." honestly meaning what he said. Serena had been through so much crap and upset, be it with her mum, Elinor, not to mention Edward and Robbie and how hard she'd found her relationship with Jason at the beginning, and Raf himself had seen a lot of this, it was about time she had someone come along and make her happy, regardless if it was a woman or not and Bernie certainly seemed to be making Serena happy.  
"Thanks Raf.." she smiled gratefully, he returned her smile before heading off to his patient.

 

Glancing towards the blonde, who had moved to another patient across the ward, talking to a nurse who was now by her side, Serena smiled to herself as she watched her, picking up her phone off the desk beside the keyboard and clicking on the messages to and from Bernie to type a new one to her.  
Still smiling as she typed it, she sent it, giving another quick glance to the other woman, placing her phone back where it was, her eyes moving back to the screen as she carried on her work.  
Across the ward the blonde felt and heard her phone go off in her scrub pocket, giving some final instructions to the nurse, stepping aside from the bed to retrieve her phone, seeing Serena's name flash up as she opened the message.  
You're looking sexy over there as you see to the patients and walk around in your scrubs. I just want to kiss you! I love you xxx  
Bernie glanced up and in Serena's direction, a light shy flush on her cheeks but also a smile as she typed back.  
Just like you swaying your hips as you did your rounds before you started doing your work over there. I always want to kiss you! Love you more xxx  
It was the brunette's turn to read her message, the smile spreading over her face, looking up from the screen seeing Bernie looking at her, flashing her a grin that she returned.  
I'm going to kiss you all over tonight when we're in bed together ;) xxx  
Serena replied, a smug and cheeky smile on her face, watching Bernie's cheeks rise in colour as she moved further away from the beds and made her way down to Serena's position, her phone back in her scrub pocket and glancing briefly to see if any nurses were nearby, with the coast clear she put her lips close to the brunette's ear and whispered huskily.  
"I'm going to be kissing you all over too Serena, especially in between your legs, over your lips and then your clit, where it'll be all wet....".  
Serena drew in a breath sharply as she felt a heat start to pool between her thighs, a flash of wetness appearing as she imagined the other woman there, clearing her throat she spoke quickly.

 

"Ms Wolfe can I have a word please..." getting up off her chair and from behind the desk. "We're just nipping out Mr Di Luca..." she called to Raf as she headed towards and then out of the AAU doors, a quick glance behind her seeing Bernie was following her, her stride catching her up to the brunette, rounding a few corners and walking down a few more corridors, they headed a little bit away from the AAU and to one of the corridors which held cleaning equipment in some of the rooms in this part of the hospital, a couple of the rooms were empty, it was one of these that Serena pulled Bernie into with her, locking the door behind them and immediately pressing her lips to the other woman, tongues instantaneously jostling, pulling each other close, the brunette moving Bernie to have her back against the wall as she moved her hands up the blondes scrub top, feeling the softness of her skin on her sides, chest and back, giving her breasts a gentle squeeze causing the blonde to groan softly against the kiss.  
"I need to fuck you..." Serena grunted into Bernie's mouth, causing a moan from the blonde as her wetness increased, this moan getting that bit louder as the brunette's hand moved into the scrub pants and then knickers of the other woman, her fingers immediately feeling the warm, wetness that had pooled there.  
"Serena...fuck me now...I need you..." groaned Bernie as she felt her clit and core start to ache with want for her girlfriend.  
Without another word, blue scrub pants and knickers were swiftly moved down to her ankles, Serena moving herself in between Bernie's legs, opening the blondes stance slightly for better access, then two fingers were plunged into Bernie's core, withdrawing all the way out before going in again, the brunette's skilful fingers reaching up to touch her g spot, the blonde moaning loudly, her arms around Serena's shoulders, head back against the wall with her eyes closed, hips bucking.  
"Oh...oh my god Serena..." at the feeling of fullness inside her and the touch against her clit with Serena's thumb.  
Hearing this reaction and how wet the other woman was, caused Serena herself to moan, aware of her own wetness in her knickers.  
Serena briskly pumped her fingers in and out of her girlfriend, feeling the other woman clamping around them, needing the release sooner rather than later, her thumb skilfully rubbing over the throbbing nub of Bernie's clit, their mouths coming together in bruising kisses, before parting again due to the decreasing oxygen levels.  
"You're....god you're sexy..." was the panted compliment from the brunette, as she continued to pump her fingers, feeling the sweat forming over her body and brow, lips covering the neck of the woman against the wall, her free arm having now moved around the blondes waist for support.  
Bernie moaned and panted, her hips bouncing up and down on Serena's hand, knowing she was close, her own brow covered with beads of sweat, her breathing getting more and more ragged by the second.  
"I....I..." was all the blonde could verbalise, her hands tightening around Serena's shoulders, fingers gripping the fabric of the blouse for some kind of extra support, as she felt herself clamp fully around her girlfriends fingers, her clit pulsating as she came, the word of 'Serena' audible to the brunette, who at the same time felt her own wetness flood her knickers as Bernie's release flooded her hand.

 

With both women panted they held onto the other, heads moving so that eyes were millimetres apart, chests heaving as their lungs gasped for fresh oxygen.  
Smiles started across lips as Serena gradually withdrew her fingers, moving her now free hand to Bernie's hip.  
With breathing starting to slow down they shared a kiss.  
"What was it you were wanting to talk to me about...." Bernie started, her smiling eyes with Serena's.  
The brunette chuckled at this. "You know damn well talking was the last thing on my mind Wolfe..." her own smile growing.  
Bernie laughed.  
"Drinking in the hospital after shifts and now this..."   
"Well when you've got a girlfriend who's as sexy and gorgeous as mine, this is what happens, you can't wait till you get home that night, you've got to have her right now..." was the brunette's quick reply.  
"Lucky me getting your undivided attention like this in the middle of a shift, getting all hot and steamy with Ms Campbell, the rest would be positively jealous as hell..." the blondes eyebrows raising as she smiled.  
"Only you Ms Wolfe only you..." kissing Bernie again.  
"Well seen as I've had this such special treatment this afternoon, I'm definitely going to keep to what I said before about kissing you all over tonight and in between them smooth and glorious thighs, then moving to your lips and clit..." she purred.  
This caused a groan in anticipation at the thought of her girlfriend pleasuring her, the colour rising in her cheeks.  
"I can't wait...".  
"Me either..." agreed Bernie.   
"In order for us to be able to do that I suppose we'd better actually get back to AAU before they round up a search party for us and then we have to explain this position we're in..." reasoned the brunette.  
"Yeah we had, god forbid they actually come looking and find us here, that'd be round the hospital, not to mention the ward in a heartbeat...".  
With a final kiss to each other, Bernie pulled up her scrubs and knickers, whilst Serena smoothed her blouse and trousers, both trying to decrease the wildness of their hair, before taking a breath and casually as was possible, listening for no one moving around outside, clicking the lock of the door open and walking back in the direction of their unit, knowing smiles exchanged as they glided down the corridor.


	15. Chapter 15

With the afternoon in full swing in AAU they had a steady stream of patients making their way through the doors, there was a full staff team in which helped around Christmas, especially with the amount of drunks be it from the Christmas parties that were going on or general people that'd drunk too much, or even teenagers and some kids, the kids that'd thought it might be cool and a big thing to do showing off to their mates, quickly discovering it was horrendous and needing to be brought in.  
Most of them were in good spirits, the decorations and jumpers helping to perk up the normally clinically dressed AAU both the ward, nurses and doctors.  
Bernie's patients as well as Serena's seemed relatively straightforward cases up to now, nothing of too much alarm, although there was one man on Serena's list that Raf thought might need a bit more caution than the rest, he'd thought he'd come in a bit aggressive and lairy, not the type of guy Serena should really be having to deal with, but she insisted she was fine and carried on with her job.  
Looking to her list she saw it was the man Raf had mentioned next, after locating him in the ward she asked one of the nurses to do the regular tests and checks and that when they'd been completed she'd be back to continue to see what the next step was.

 

"But I want it doing now, I don't wanna be here all bloody night!" came the shouted reply.  
Serena turned to look at him, frowning.  
"I'm sorry but that's not possible, there's more than just you here as you can see so we have to treat every patient in turn, we'll get to you as soon as possible..." turning to walk away.  
"Didn't you hear me, I said I don't wanna bloody wait all night!".  
She turned back again to him.  
"I heard you, the question is if you heard me, I made it clear we'll get to you as soon as possible, but carry on this way and we won't treat you at all.." was the blunt and firm answer.  
Walking away as he muttered something under his breath she couldn't quite work out.  
Shaking her head at how childish he was she wrote on the white board and then moved to the next patient.  
Later on that day as it moved into early evening Bernie had nipped out to grab her and Serena a coffee to get them through the last few hours of their shifts, hoping they'd actually be able to go on time and not get held back with some emergency.

 

Moving into the ward through the double doors bum first, two coffees in her hand she made her way to the nurse's station, something drawing her eyes to the bed that had previously had a patient in it before, now it was empty.  
She frowned, her eyes finding Raf.  
"Raf...bed four.... has he been discharged?".  
He moved to look at the bed and then at Bernie.  
"No not to my knowledge, I thought he was waiting for test results still because of the backlog they've had up there..." coming over to where Bernie was.  
"Then if he's not where he's supposed to be, then where is he.....and where's Serena gone?" her eyes scanning the ward and then glancing to the office, knowing the brunette had been here when she'd left the ward.  
Raf then looked around himself, his mind going back to the exchange the doctor and he had had when he'd come in, also the warning he'd given the brunette about him being aggressive.  
Seeing the look on his face Bernie frowned softly.  
"What is it Raf...is something wrong?".  
He gave a sigh, rubbing his forehead.  
"When he first came in he was.....well I thought that he came across aggressive and shall we say lairy, was shouting and being abusive, I told Serena that she shouldn't or didn't have to deal with him but she was insisting that it was fine and nothing to worry about...".  
Hearing Raf explain filled Bernie with a sense of panic that wasn't there before, looking on the white board for the patients name she moved to the computer, furiously typing, her eyes scanning the screen, settling on the name her eyes read the details, widening the more that she read.

 

"Bernie what is it...?" not waiting for her answer, Raf moved to read the screen.  
"History of violence against women...." his own eyes now widening in fright, turning to Bernie.  
"Get Fletch to call security and the police, you're with me, we've got to find Serena and fast...." swallowing hard at the lump in her throat, trying to keep her panic under control.  
After telling Fletch what was happening and him saying he'd look after things in the ward, Raf and Bernie were rushing out of AAU and towards the lifts and stairs.  
"How long has he been gone roughly...?" asked the blonde, her eyes scanning around, trying to think about where Serena could've been taken in the time frame.  
"Erm...roughly....about 20 minutes or so I'd say, they could have only gone whilst you were getting coffee...".  
20 minutes, 20 minutes, where could he go in 20 minutes...somewhere nearby, nearby and where he wouldn't draw attention to them both too much, think Bernie, think, where could he have gone!  
Now the panic was rising, the wheels in her head were spinning furiously as she and Raf ran along the corridors around the AAU opening doors, quickly searching the room before moving onto the next one.  
"Nothing!" one of them would shout before they moved along, taking a side a time if they had to, if that would make it quicker and give them the outcome they wanted.  
They quickly ran through another set of corridors, asking any doctors, nurses or staff they could, if they'd seen the surgeon or the man in question, to which none of them had.

 

Pausing to get their breath they were breathing hard, Bernie leaning forward, her hands on her knees.  
"Where is she Raf, what's he done with her, if he's harmed her I'll never forgive myself, I can't lose her, I just can't...." her voice quivering, tears filling her eyes, not wanting to think of anything happening to the woman she loved.  
He put a hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort the trauma surgeon.   
"We'll find her Bernie, we'll find her and she'll be ok...".  
"If she isn't I don't know what I'd do, I love her and I can't be without her, what would I tell Jason, what would I do, what would he do...." her mind racing, her feelings bubbling to the surface, not usually like her, but in this situation she couldn't help it.

 

Raf gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.  
"The roof..." he blurted, looking at the blonde.  
Not waiting they both sprinted for the stairs, Bernie stopping, her hand not letting Raf go any further.  
"You go and get the police, get security, get anyone..." she requested.  
"I can't let you go on your own...not with him on the roof...".  
She nodded. "You can, I'll be fine, honesty, please Raf we don't have time, I need to get to Serena, I need to save her!".  
Reluctantly he gave in, running back in the direction of the AAU, the blonde heading up the stairs, not stopping till she got to the roof door, her body instantly freezing as she heard her sobs and pleads of Serena on the other side of the door.  
She was there, she'd found her, now she had to save her.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and your lovely comments, they mean a lot to me. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far, here's the next bit for you. Hope you like it! :)

"Get over here, do as you're told!" raged the man, dragging the brunette roughly by her arm away from the roof door.  
Serena let out a cry, the pain at being pulled and squeezed by her arm, by this man built like a body builder, hurting her.  
"I warned you that I didn't want to wait but you wouldn't listen would you, bloody women thinking they know it all, but they don't, they know nothing..... shut up!" his free hand coming to wrap around that of the brunette in a slap, causing her to cry out and sob even harder, cowering as he dragged her up and over the metal steps to the other side of the roof.  
"J....Just let me go..." she pleaded, her body shaking with fear, not knowing what he was going to do to her and if she'd be found before anything happened.  
I just want Bernie, I just want Bernie. I wish she was here.  
He threw her to the ground, her hands reaching out to break her fall, scraping along the gravel, causing her to wince in pain as her body hit the floor, the wind knocked out of her at his force.  
She was quickly dragged up by her hair, yelping at the pain, his hand easily lifting her to her feet, not sure how much more she could take.  
Pushing the door open, Bernie glanced out to the roof, her eyes immediately seeing Serena, her heart dropping at his rough treatment of the woman she loved.  
You bastard, how dare you treat her like that, put your hands on her and abuse her this way, her anger and distress moving through her body.  
With his back to the door, he grabbed the brunette by her shoulders, pushing her towards the railing around the top of the roof, unaware of the other person on the roof with them.  
Serena jumped as she felt her back hit the rail, knowing full well what was on the other side, nothing, nothing but a drop to the floor.  
She swallowed hard, her body wracked with sobs, her eyes darting around her looking for something, anything to try and save herself with but there was nothing, nothing, just him and her on the roof.  
What is going on, how the hell did I get here, I can't take much more of this, I need help, I don't want to die, I don't want to leave Bernie and Jason and Elinor.  
I've only just got her back and now I'm going to leave her, how will she cope, how will Jason cope, what if they can't, what if something happens to them all.  
Her breathing started to turn into hyperventilating as the panic and fear became overwhelming, her face red and raw from being slapped, her scalp sore from having her hair pulled, her body aching from the rough treatment it had endured for the past however long it was.

 

"Listening now aren't you, you stupid bitch, doing as your told now aren't you eh, now that you're not around all the other little minions down there not doing your job for you, not wiping your arse!" he mocked, his hand giving the quivering brunette another slap across her face, causing her to drop to the floor, her hands moving to her face in self defence, the tears soaking the skin of her cheeks and then moving to her palms as she gave a cry out in pain.  
Bernie's heart ached as she crept out onto the roof, in time unfortunately to see the woman she loved being beaten by this thug, this bully, this animal.   
No more, no one hurt her lady, no one, I don't care how big he is, I'm going to save her, I don't care if he hurts me, but he's not hurting her anymore!  
"Oi, leave her alone!" Bernie shouted as she quickly made her way over the steps and onto the same side of the roof as them.  
The man turned around to see where the voice was coming from, the familiar voice making the brunette led on the floor look between her fingers, a sob ringing out as she saw the blonde doctor.  
She's here, Bernie is here, oh thank god.  
He scoffed. "And why would I do that, what are you going to do if I don't!?".  
Bernie's jaw clenched in anger, her teeth gritted as she spoke.  
"You don't wanna know what I'm going to do to you if you don't let her go..." advancing on his position, just like she did when she was on the battlefield.  
He held his ground, not bothered in the slightest at the blonde woman who'd appeared with them.  
"You aren't and can't do nothing, just like this one here can't, bloody silly bitch, if she'd have just done as she was told then all this silly business could've been avoided, but no, she tried to be clever and smart with me, so this is her punishment, her lesson she needs to be taught, just like you need too!" a satisfied smirk on his face, keeping his eyes on the blonde, as he grabbed Serena's cheek in his hand and squeezed them, to which she tried but failed to push away before he released his grip, Bernie moving towards him as she saw his action.  
"Get....your...hands...off....her!" her anger rising rapidly, as well as her need to get to Serena and hold her.  
Suddenly he moved towards the blonde doctor, grabbing for her, but she side stepped out of the way, her breath catching at how close he came, rapidly changing her position so she was out of arms reach of him but also had Serena in view.  
The pair of them eyed each other, moving around the space they were in trying to flank around and be quicker than the other person, a dual it was and one that Bernie had no intention of losing.  
Come on Raf where's them bloody police, we need them now! The sound of her heart thumping in her chest getting louder in her ears.  
He grabbed for her again, again she side stepped only this time the gravel caught under her feet and she slipped, landing with a bump on the floor.  
Quick get up Wolfe, get up!!  
Scrabbling to her feet, but not quick enough to get up and away before he'd grabbed her, pulling her up by her scrub top.  
He laughed mockingly in her face, the stench of alcohol apparent on his breath, as the blondes face crinkled at the smell.  
"If only you'd listened too..." his eyes widening in delight at the fear he saw growing in the woman under his control, his free hand come to be wrapped around the blondes neck, her breath quickly stole away as he pinned her against one of the generators that were housed on the roof.  
Bernie kicked her legs and grabbed for him trying desperately to get out of his grip, her breath diminishing by the second.  
Out of nowhere she felt the hand around her neck let go, startled as saw a flash in front of her eyes, the thug dropping to the floor and shaking, falling to the ground herself, she grabbed her own throat, glancing in the direction of the roof door, seeing the cause of the spark.  
A taser gun.  
This being held by the armed officer stood not far from her position, his team of three other officers fanned out behind him, Raf behind them, he was breathing hard himself, his eyes on the blonde doctor.

 

Rubbing her neck to try to soothe it somewhat, she got to her feet, her legs trembling, not even thinking about how she felt as she dashed the little way across the roof to one person. Serena.  
The brunette was cowering against the wall edged along the roof, partly sat but partly led on the floor, her body shaking, her hands covering her face, as she sobbed.  
Bernie sank down to her level, her hand touching Serena's shoulder, causing her to cry out and jump in fright, not aware who it was.  
"It's just me, it's ok..." she whispered, her heart breaking as the brunette moved her hands from her face slowly, her face stained with tears, fear in her eyes, immediately grabbing for the blonde as she recognised who it was, her hands gripping tight to the blue scrub top and pulling Bernie close, almost childlike as she cuddled against her, her sobs starting again.  
Sitting on the floor Bernie held her tight in her arms, pulling her as close as was possible, closing her own eyes as she heard the heavy sobs wracking the brunette's body.  
"Shhhhh, it's ok, it's ok, you're safe, no one's going to hurt you. I'm here and nothing is going to happen to you I promise..." she soothed, her hand gentle rubbing the back of the other woman, hating hearing her being in so much distress and feeling her shaking out of pure fear.  
Serena whimpered through her sobs, handfuls of Bernie's scrubs being grabbed and held tight by the brunette, not letting go, her face buried into the blonde doctors neck.  
"No one's going to hurt you, the police are here and they've tasered him, he's been arrested and they're taking him away now, he's not going to come anywhere near you anymore. I won't let him or anyone hurt you....I love you..." her voice soft and loving, hating hearing the sound of her girlfriend being as distressed and frightened as she was.  
Bernie tightened her arms that bit more, her hand still soothingly moving up and down Serena's back, glancing up as she saw Raf come over.  
"He's been arrested and taken away. Are you ok?" he asked quietly, obvious concern for both of them on his face.  
Bernie nodded. "Yeah I'm fine, this one is still petrified and badly shaken up, she's got a few cuts and scrapes too, but nothing severe thank god...".  
Raf nodded, not used to seeing Serena this way and not sure what to say for a few moments.

 

"Look why don't you take her and yourself off home, she and you would be better off there, you've had more than enough for one day, Fletch, me and the others can cope for the rest of the shift...and don't worry about Jason, I'll phone Alan or failing that he can stay with Fletch and me".  
She gave him a weak smile and nodded.  
"Yeah, I think that's a good idea, she's had more than enough for one day and I have too, just want to get her home and look after her...thanks Raf".  
He returned her weak smile, not liking to see either of them like this, even though they were colleagues they were good friends too, he'd grown close to Serena after all she'd been through and had started getting to know Bernie more too.  
"That's exactly what she needs right now and who she needs..." watching as the blonde started slowly getting to her feet, gently picking the brunette up with her.  
Serena's ashened and tear stained face removed itself from Bernie's neck, whimpering softly, her big brown eyes looking to the other woman.  
"I'm taking you home, Raf and the others are going to look after things, we're going home and I'm going to look after you...".  
The brunette nodded in understanding, her eyes glancing to Raf, who gave her a soft and caring smile, before she leant her head against Bernie's shoulder and allowed herself to slowly be led towards the roof door, not moving from being against the blonde, her hands still gripping the scrubs her girlfriend was wearing.  
Bernie kept tight hold of her as they went up and the down the small metal steps, giving her hair a gentle kiss, up the other couple of steps and through the roof door that Raf was holding open for them, the blast of warm air from the hospital hitting them both.


	17. Chapter 17

After taking Serena home, she needed home comforts under the circumstances.  
Bernie made sure the heating was put on to warm the house, taking the brunette upstairs and into the en suite in her bedroom, reluctantly she got into the steaming shower after Bernie helped her get out of her cold and soiled clothes, the blonde sitting on the toilet seat as Serena slowly washed herself, not wanting Bernie to leave the bathroom, wincing in pain as the soap hit the scrapes and scratches she'd had inflicted on her that afternoon.  
Getting out she was met with Bernie and one of the big fluffy bath towels that she wrapped her in, helping her to get dry and then slip into her soft pyjama bottoms and vest, patting her hair dry for her before she herself then changed into some loungewear.  
"Shall we have something to eat?" Bernie started softly as she sat on the bed, Serena in her arms, her head leaning on Bernie's shoulder.  
"I'm not very hungry.." was the quiet reply.  
"I know, but you've got to eat even if it's just a little something, how about some toast?".  
Serena nodded at the suggestion, she could try and eat some toast, nothing too much or heavy.  
"Come on, let's go downstairs, I'll make us some toast.." as she kissed the brunette's hair, standing up off the bed, Serena in her arms, slowly making their way out of the bedroom and down stairs, settling her girlfriend on the sofa, with the TV on low and the throw over her, letting her know she'd be back soon, Bernie moved into the kitchen, finding the bread, plates and butter, she made a batch of toast and two mugs of hot chocolate, carefully carrying them through on a tray into the living room, setting them down on the coffee table, then joining Serena under the throw, retrieving the tray from the table and onto her lap.  
When they'd finished the toast and drank some of the hot chocolate, Bernie moved to put the tray back on the table causing a jump from the woman next to her.

 

"No, please don't go...please" her voice quivering and breaking, thinking Bernie might be going somewhere.  
Immediately the blonde turned back to the brunette, the tray now on the table and wrapped her arms around her.  
"I'm not going anywhere, I was just putting the tray down on the table to move it out of our way. I'm not going anywhere, it's ok, you're safe..." pulling the now quietly sobbing woman who had her head in her hands, into her arms, the day's events had obviously shook her up badly and she was traumatised.  
Keeping her arms around Serena, Bernie shuffled on the sofa so that she was led down on her back, the brunette on top of her, making sure Serena was comfy against her, the throw over them both.  
Bernie stroked a hand through the brown locks of the other woman, whose head had come to rest on her shoulder, doing her best to calm her.  
"I...I...thought..I thought I'd never see you again, that he was going to...to push me over..." not being able to finish her sentence, the thought of what might have been or happened bringing her to start sobbing again.  
"Shhhh, it's alright sweetheart, it's all alright, no one is going anywhere ok. I'll never leave you, ever..." her eyes filling up as she heard the woman she love sobbing her heart out.  
What has this man done to her, what's he done to my precious woman, the woman I love more than anything. He's turned her into a quivering, sobbing wreck, I've never heard someone cry so much, never in my life. Well I know something for sure and that's that what has happened isn't going to ruin her, it's not going to turn my lady into someone she isn't, not into a shell, not into a frightened person who can't cope or do things, she's going to with my help get over this, feel stronger, feel safe, feel loved, because she can do it, she can get over this and I'm not going to let anyone harm her again.  
"Everything is going to be alright, I'm right here...right here.." she soothed, her hand still stroking Serena's hair, her free arm wrapped around her girlfriends waist.  
Cuddled tight into the blonde she was led on top of, Serena closed her eyes, her sobs calming down as she listened to Bernie's words and her heart beat, being soothed even more by the hand stroking her hair.

 

She wasn't exactly sure how long they'd been led there, glancing down Bernie smiled as she saw what she'd hoped, Serena had fallen asleep, snuggled tight on top of her, one of the brunette's hands holding looser than before to Bernie's t shirt, her breathing steady as she slept.  
The blonde gently kissed her forehead, watching the woman in her arms.  
"You have no idea how precious you are have you, no idea at all..." Bernie whispered, her thumb gently stroking Serena's cheek.  
Her eyes glanced to the clock on the TV, squinting to see the time.  
11:45pm.  
She yawned as she reached for the remote for the TV that had been put on the arm on the sofa behind her head, pressing the button which turned the screen to black, replacing it back on the arm she shuffled down that bit more, the only light in the room being that of the fireplace. Closing her eyes she felt herself relaxing more and more into the cushions underneath her, the only sounds being that of Serena's breathing and the flickering in the fire.  
"No..!"   
This was the sound that made the blonde's eyes suddenly open, glancing quickly around the room before she became aware that the remark had come from the woman who was still led on her, Serena's eyes still closed, having a nightmare, her eyes suddenly opening, tears starting down her cheeks, looking to Bernie.  
"I..I'm sorry..." voice and bottom lip quivering, her face creasing in upset and distress.  
Bernie shook her head.  
"You have nothing to say sorry for, come on its ok, I'm here, it was just a nightmare, you're safe....let's go up to bed, we'll be more comfortable up there" waiting and then getting a nod of approval, she shuffled off the sofa, turned the fire off and then turning back to Serena, without saying a word leant down and scooped her up in her arms, holding her against her body, moving out of the living room and upstairs.

 

What's happened to me, this isn't me, I'm not usually like this, feeling this vulnerable and scared, but what's happened has really frightened me, I'd gone from being at work to being dragged through the hospital and up onto the roof, nearly getting thrown off or falling off, thank god for Bernie, I didn't want anyone else right there and then, didn't need anyone else just her, just like I don't now, I just need her.  
She shut the door with her foot and lay Serena down on her side of the bed after pulling the covers back for her with the hand closest to the bed, then moving around to get in herself.  
Immediately Serena shuffled across to her, cuddling against the awaiting arms of Bernie, only too happy to oblige.   
"There we go..." feeling the contact from her girlfriend and settling the brunette down again in her arms.  
Serena snuggled and nuzzled into Bernie, her nose touching the skin on the neck of the blonde and her hand resting on her shoulder.  
"I love you..." came the sleepy whisper.  
A smile spread across the blondes face, leaning her head against the soft brown hair, she replied.  
"I love you too beautiful..." feeling a feather light kiss on her neck from Serena, the brunette wriggling and then settling again, her breathing changing and slowing, making soft snuffling sounds as she fell asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

"Are you sure, because I don't think it's a good idea, it's too soon, you should be at home resting, letting me look after you.." Bernie reasoned with Serena as they drew up in Bernie's car in the AAU car park the next morning, the brunette having insisted she was well enough to work and that she didn't want to stay at home.  
When she was like this there wasn't much anyone could do, let alone Bernie. Yes you could try to reason with her, give your side of the argument, the advantages of staying at home and resting, but this had been to no avail this morning, she'd have to find out for herself if she actually was fully ready to work or not.  
Bernie wasn't holding out much hope, but didn't actually vocalise this.  
It was Serena Campbell after all, stubborn to the last in matters like this.  
"I'm totally fine, I've had some sleep and some breakfast, work and duty calls, AAU won't run itself..." as she upped the ramp into the building, straight to Pulses for her morning coffee, like nothing had happened.  
Sighing and shaking her head Bernie reluctantly followed behind her, taking the coffee that was offered to her from the brunette, waiting for the lift and then taking it up to AAU.  
Riding in the lift Bernie glanced to the woman at her side, aware of Serena taking a couple of deep breaths, one of which caused her to close her eyes, the lift door and ping causing them to open again as she strode out, taking a sip of her coffee, giving the doctor coming into the lift a smile good morning.  
She's so stubborn, I know she's not well enough, she knows she isn't, why doesn't she just give it up and let herself be looked after, you're so stubborn sometimes Serena Campbell, so stubborn.  
Putting their things into the office in the usual places, they made their way into the main hub of the AAU, Serena immediately wanting to be brought up to speed about what they had in the unit at the moment from one of the nurses.  
"I didn't think either you or Serena would be in today, but especially not her.." commented Raf who stood next to the blonde, looking over at the brunette.  
"Oh tell me about it, I've had the same discussion this morning, but it's no use she won't listen, was adamant that she was fine and well enough to work, that duty calls and all that, I could tell she was a bit shaky in the lift up here but she still wouldn't give in.." Bernie sighed, causing Raf to put a comforting hand on her back.  
"We know what she's like, I suppose it's just a case of unfortunately maybe waiting for it to get too much for her, for her to realise she's not superwoman all of the time, not even Serena Campbell is most of the time, even she needs to get better like the rest of us..." giving Bernie a sympathetic smile, moving then to tend to one of his patients.  
Sitting at her desk in the office on her own, Bernie glanced at the clock.  
9:30 am.  
She's done an hour and a half with no drama, still being stubborn about being well are we Campbell, I'm not convinced you can keep this up, not after the trauma of all you went through yesterday. I don't want her to fail of course I don't, I love the woman to bits, I just want her to know she needs to recover properly and that doesn't required being in work and running around all over the place, pretending everything is fine when it isn't, when you've been through an ordeal.

 

Sighing to herself for the well, she couldn't remember how many times this morning she had, her attention went back to the pile of paperwork in front of her, taking a sip of her now tepid and turning colder by the second coffee.  
Why is it hospitals require so much paperwork nowadays, aren't computers meant to stop all this, the golden age of technology where everything is up in that what is it they call it, the cloud or something or other, it'd certainly save all these man hours of sat here doing this, might be able to save a few more people instead of drowning in a sea of ink and paper ourselves.  
"Bernie!" the door bursting open without a knock and Movern appearing there, Movern never called her Bernie.  
"Yes..." looking up and to the figure in the door, the sudden entranced having startled her.  
"You've got to come quick it's Serena...".  
The mention of the name had the blonde doctor up off her chair and straight to her feet, following the woman stride for stride.  
"What's happened, what's going on...".  
"I don't know exactly, she was just collecting a set of notes for a patient, started walking towards the bed then froze, next thing the notes are on the floor and she was practically running from the ward, Raf ran after her and managed to catch up with her but she wouldn't speak to him and locked herself in the on-call room, I went to see if I could help but nothing, you can hear her crying on the other side of the door, we didn't know what else to do but get you...".  
Bernie swallowed hard at the lump appearing in her throat.  
"I knew this would happen, I just knew it..."the blonde surgeon mumbled to herself as she walked out of the AAU with the smaller doctor, Morvern trying to keep up.  
"Is she alright, I mean I know she isn't but..." Morvern asked, her concern for Serena evident.  
"She isn't, but she will be, I'll make sure of it..." was the stern reply from Bernie, knowing she'd definitely make sure her girlfriend was fully ok this time so they didn't have a repeat of this.  
Reaching the door of the on-call room, they both stopped, an obvious sound of someone sobbing on the other side of the door, that someone being Serena.  
"Thank you Movern I'll take things from here, tell Raf to have his phone on him and ready in case I need him for anything ok?".  
Movern nodded. "Ok, if there's anything I can do..." she offered kindly.  
Bernie smiled at her. "Thank you.." before the younger doctor headed back to the ward.  
The blonde doctor took a breath before she leant against the door and then spoke softly.  
"Serena...Serena it's me, let me in, love....".  
At first all she could hear was sobbing, this was before words permeated the sobs.

 

"Is...is it only you?".  
"Yeah it's only me, no one else...".  
This was followed by a few seconds of silence, this being broken by the click of the lock being undone and the door opening a jar to reveal the face of the brunette on the inside, her face tear stained and creased from crying.  
Seeing her in this way Bernie felt her heart drop, it hurt seeing her woman hurting this way.  
Saying nothing Bernie moved into the room, the brunette locking the door behind them as she clung onto her girlfriend and then dropped to her knees on the floor, her body visibly shaking as she broke down in the blondes arms.  
Bernie kept a firm grip on the brunette, lifting them both onto the bed as she got her up off the floor.  
Rocking her gently she smoothed her hand up and down Serena's back.  
"It's alright...I've got you it's ok, shhhh, let it all go...let it all out..." she hushed softly to the distressed woman.  
Serena let herself relax into the arms of her girlfriend, her hand doing what it did last night and holding onto Bernie's shirt.  
"What happened..." she enquired softly, wanting to understand more of what had caused this much upset.  
The brunette drew a breath and let it out.  
"I...I... I'd got a patients notes from the desk and was about to deal with him, as I was walking away from the nurse's station I looked up to the bed that he was in and saw him led there, not doing anything wrong, just led there.....he...he was the same sort of build as him...him.." her voice becoming choked as she got emotional again.  
"He reminded you of yesterday hmm...and caused you to panic and get upset..." Bernie finished, thinking she'd got most of it right.  
Serena nodded in response.  
"I...I was so frightened.." she admitted, cuddling closer to Bernie.  
Her arms tightened around the brunette.  
"I know you were I know, you had such an ordeal yesterday it's no wonder you're frightened, you've been traumatised Serena, things like that don't go away over night, they take time, you need to take your time, get and feel better, let me look after you...".  
"I thought I'd be ok, thought I could do it...".  
She kissed the brunette's hair.  
"I know you did, but this right here shows you're just not ready yet, you need time, rest and relaxation..".  
Again Serena nodded, admitting defeat, stifling a soft yawn with the back of her hand.  
"See, you're exhausted. There's one place you need to be and that's cosy in bed or on the sofa at home Ms Campbell.." taking her phone from her pocket with one hand.  
"But I don't....I don't want to be on my own, it frightens me..." and it did, the thought of being on her own at the moment did frighten her, what had happened yesterday had hit her more than she thought, hence why she was right this minute locked in the on-call room with Bernie.  
"I know you don't, let me call Raf...." bringing his number up on her phone and calling it, not taking him long to answer.  
"Hi Bernie, how's Serena?".  
"She's been better, I'm going to have to take her home Raf, she's not well enough to be at work, but she's not well enough to be on her own either, could you and the team manage if I did, I know it's a big ask and it'll make things even more stressful at this time of year but I don't know what else to do.." it was true she wasn't sure what else to do, there was no way she was going to leave Serena on her own at home, not when she was as distressed as she was, she also didn't want to put too much on Raf and the team, they'd had a long year and Christmas didn't help slow that work load down.  
"No it's fine Bernie, I'll call around see if I can borrow some staff to help down here if it starts getting too hectic, we'll manage somehow, if you clear it your side to take Serena home and spend some time looking after her there then I'll sort things out here.." he wanted Serena to get better and the best chance of that was being at home with Bernie, not here, it was obviously too much for her.  
"Ok I'll get that sorted, I'll be back on the ward soon to get our things and check in with you before I take her home. Thank you so much I really do appreciate it as does Serena...".  
Hanging up and putting her phone back in her pocket she turned back to the brunette.  
"I'm just going to sort things out with HR for us getting some time off and then I'll collect our things and then we'll go home. You rest in here and lock the door and I'll be back soon, ok?" wanting to get out and up to HR so she could take Serena home.  
"Ok.." the brunette replied weakly, not wanting Bernie to leave but knowing she had too and hoping she'd not take long.  
"You get comfy and lock the door behind me and I'll be back before you know it, alright?".  
The brunette nodded.  
"Ok, please don't be long.." her eyes showing the vulnerability she felt at the moment.  
"I won't, I promise...I love you..." gently kissing Serena's forehead, making her way to the door and out of the room, waiting for it to be locked before she took the stairs two at a time up to the HR department.

 

Following sorting things out with HR for them both to have some leave under the circumstances, it was granted, all be it slightly under one of the not very happy office girls who seemed to make it out like it was some big effort to change things on the system just so it'd be all marked down and right.  
AAU next to get their things and then back to Serena and then home, moving through the doors Bernie turned to go into their office, Raf not far behind her as he'd spotted her coming in.  
"All sorted?" he questioned, as the blonde turned around, their coats and bags in her arms.  
"Yeah all sorted, just about managed to get them to let us take some leave, some of them in that office, you'd think we were asking for the world...".  
Raf gave a soft chuckle.  
"Oh I know, you know what they're like in HR, don't want to give you an easy ride where leave is concerned...".  
"You're telling me, anyway it's sorted now, thank god, now to get Serena sorted..." a sad sigh escaping her.  
Raf moved to put a comforting hand on her shoulder.  
"It's bad eh...".  
Bernie nodded.  
"She's so traumatised Raf, so jumpy and doesn't want to be left on her own, I've never seen her cry so much, she's so frightened and exhausted..." the sadness and worry obvious as she spoke.  
"She will be, she's been through quite an ordeal, she needs rest and tlc, something that only you can give her, she doesn't want anyone else but you, that's blatantly obvious, you can help her through this and if there's anything me and the others can do just let us know. You concentrate on Serena and you and let us worry about AAU and the amount of drunks and vomit bowls that come through our doors..." doing his best to reassure the blonde surgeon.  
The blonde gave a quiet chuckle.  
"No doubt there might be a few given it's Christmas, you know how it goes...".  
"Oh yes, the joys of the festive season..." he smiled, giving her shoulder a gentle and reassuring squeeze, continuing. "Go on, get back to Serena and if there's anything, just let us know...".  
She smiled at him, giving him a gentle squeeze on his shoulder.  
"Thanks Raf..." moving out of the office and leaving the ward.  
Next stop, getting the woman I love home and getting her better, no matter what it takes.  
Serena Campbell you're going to be looked after and do as you're told, no matter how bad a patient you might be.


	19. Chapter 19

Making sure Serena was definitely asleep, settled on the sofa, in her pyjamas, the throw over her, Bernie sat on the floor near the brunette's head, after she'd manage to convince Serena that she'd be more comfy stretched out across the sofa, that she'd sit right here and not be going anywhere.  
She'd stroked her hair, watching the closed tired eyes, that were red from crying that she'd done not just in the hospital, but again when they'd got home, which Bernie had let her do, encouraging it in order to let some of the tension and fear out.  
Yes she hated seeing her cry and wouldn't normally want to encourage, but this was different, Serena needed to do it.  
Sitting on the floor, back against the sofa she watched her, her breathing steady, slower than before, her face looking peaceful, her body relaxed.

 

What are we going to do with you, maybe now you've realised that you need the rest, the time off, looking after. That's where I'm coming in, I can look after you, help you get better, give you the tlc you need, love you.  
Glancing at her again, Bernie slowly rose from the floor, the carpet was a thick pile one luckily, making it comfy to sit on the floor, not like god forbid if it'd been wood floor or tiles or something. With another look at the sleeping brunette, she moved out of the living room, through the dining room and into the kitchen, doing her best to be quiet as she filled the kettle up and then set it to boil, getting a mug out of the cupboard and then putting a spoon of coffee in.  
If it was going to be a restless night for Serena, then she wanted to be able to stay awake enough to help her through it, hopefully it wouldn't be, but she'd rather not take the risk.  
As soon as the boiling water hit the granules, the coffee aroma was released, heading straight up into the blonde doctors nostrils along with a steady stream of steam, inhaling it for a few moments, Bernie then moved to the fridge and retrieved the milk, adding just enough for her liking and then stirring, putting the teaspoon in the sink, the kitchen light going off as she moved to sit on one of the chairs at the head of the dining table, right in view of the still sleeping brunette on the sofa, a soft smile on Bernie's lips as she sipped at the warm liquid and just gazed at her lady.

 

A soft touch floated down Bernie's cheek as she sat with her back against the sofa, her ears faintly aware of the sound of the TV in the distance, it seemed quieter than it had before, why was it dark, what had happened, was everything ok. Then it made sense, as she open her eyes slowly, the brightness of the screen glaring at her, she must have fallen asleep briefly, so much for the coffee. Turning her head she glanced behind her, the touch now being recognised as Serena's, her hand brushing Bernie's cheek as she was still led on the sofa, looking at the other woman.  
"Hello you..." the blonde started.  
Serena smiled softly. "Hello to you...".  
"You been awake long?" turning her body around to properly look at Serena.  
The brunette shook her head, no. "Not really, about 10 minutes or so...".  
Leaning forward Bernie gently kissed her lips.  
"Sorry I fell asleep, didn't even know I had..".  
"You don't have to say sorry it's ok..." came the soft reply.  
"Can I get you anything, a drink or something?" offered the blonde surgeon.  
Serena thought for a second.  
"Can I have a coffee please....".  
"Course you can, I'll just go and make you one, won't be long.." kissing the top of the brunette's head as she rose from the floor and then headed into the kitchen, stretching as she moved to boil the kettle.

 

Cup in hand she made her way back into the living room, handing the cup to her girlfriend, she sat next to her on the space now available on the sofa, smiling, she watched the brown haired surgeon inhale the aroma from the cup before taking a small sip, unaware she was being watched.  
It's even the little things she does now, just watching her sipping from a cup of coffee I find adorable and cute, some people might think it silly or whatever but I don't, I think she's so so gorgeous and cute, it's just unbelievable that she's mine.  
Another sip from her cup and Serena glanced to Bernie next to her, to her cup again and then back to the other woman, then away again.  
Bernie frowned softly at this.  
"You ok sweetheart?".  
Silence, before Serena broke it.  
"I...I don't think...I don't think this is a good idea...".  
Another frown from Bernie, only this time deeper.  
"What isn't a good idea?".  
She'd not suggested anything recently, the last thing she remembered suggesting was taking Serena home to look after her.

 

"This...".  
"No, I'm still not following.." replied the puzzled blonde.  
Serena paused again, her eyes darting quickly to Bernie before away again as she spoke.  
"This..u...us.."  
Bernie was floored, where on earth had this come from.  
"What? What do you mean?" trying to keep her voice soft.  
"I just....I don't think it's a good idea.." she repeated, not looking at Bernie.  
"I..where has this come from...Serena what do you mean?" now her brain had started to scramble, the clogs were slowly starting to turn, were they actually having this conversation, had she actually woken up or was this a dream, with her hands in her lap she covertly nipped at one of them, a pinch to make sure this conversation was actually real.  
Ouch, yes Bernie it was real, it was happening.

 

"I...I woke up and thought that it wasn't as I led and watched you sleeping, I realised it's just not a good idea, us isn't a good idea....".  
What the hell was going on, where had all this suddenly come from.  
"Serena, where has all this come from, I just don't understand...what's this got to do with anything?" trying to work out what was actually being said to her.  
The brunette shuffled on the sofa, the gap slightly wider between them both than it had been merely seconds ago.  
Bernie moved closer, Serena moved again before getting to her feet, her cup of coffee going onto the coffee table, the blonde's eyes on her as she herself watched Bernie shuffle and then get up off the sofa, putting her cup beside Serena's, immediately speaking, her voice trying to be as loud as she could, but it ending up being heavy with emotion and starting to quiver.  
"Don't Bernie...stay there...just don't...".  
Hearing the tone of the brunette's voice, Bernie stayed on her feet, her eyes not moving from Serena, her heart aching as a step back away from her was taken.  
"Serena, sweetheart, what's the matter, what can't I do...don't what.." clutching for whatever reasoning or answer she could get from the woman in front of her, who seemed to be getting more distressed and emotional by the minute, unprepared for the end part of what Serena was trying to say.  
"...don't....don't come near me...".


	20. Chapter 20

Stunned silence.  
It hung in the air between them like a bad smell, refusing to go, that was until Bernie forced it to.  
"But sweetheart why..." she had to at least try to get to the bottom of what was actually going on here.  
"Just don't...."  
Again she tried.  
"Ok....but can you tell me why....please?" painful as it was to not move closer to the brunette who had started to visibly tremble and get upset, Bernie could clearly see her eyes glassy with tears, she had to stay here, get the answer and solve the problem this way if it was easier for Serena.  
Serena shook her head, swallowing.  
"Please....please sweetheart.." the blondes tone soft and gentle, her eyes fixed on the brunette.  
Serena's gaze moved from the floor and to the other woman, not quite returning to floor but stopping on the sofa behind the blonde.  
Then her gaze returned, having made herself look at the blonde in front of her, hearing how soft and gentle her tone was, how much she loved that face, those blonde messy curls, she spoke softly, her heart hurting.

 

"Because....because...because I'm not worth it, not worth it, not worth having you touch me. Look at the state I'm in, a 51 year old woman, a grown up child and I can't even go into work without panicking and running, running and...and locking myself in the on-call room. I don't deserve you, you loving me, looking after me. I should just be able to deal with this, deal with it and not be so weak..." the tears cascading down her cheeks, her breathing had started to become uneven as she got upset.  
So this is what we're actually dealing with, the fact she sees herself as weak and somewhat unworthy of being looked after after this horrendous ordeal because, Superwoman Serena Campbell isn't used to being in this situation, not being in full and total control and now she's having to deal with it and be looked after she's freaking out like hell and doesn't know what she's meant to do, which is simple, let me look after and let herself heal and get over the fright and trauma she's been put through.  
Bernie reached one of her hands into the space between them both, not moving towards the other woman or touching her, as she'd asked her not too, but just hovering her hand there.  
"Serena listen to me ok, you've been through a traumatic event, something you've never experienced before, you're life was put in danger and this has caused you to become frightened and traumatised. You can't be expected to deal with something of this magnitude on your own and it in no way makes you weak that people are rallying round to help you with it...".  
"It...it shouldn't be like this....it...it shouldn't, you shouldn't have this burden on you, I..I can't help it though, I was and still am so frightened..." the anguish clear on her face as she mumbled her words, the tears still coming, her hands covering her face.  
Bernie's heart broke as she watched Serena cry, hear the pain and fear in her voice.  
"Listen to me ok...sweetheart you're no way a burden to me, you never have and never will be. You had an awful thing happen to you that wasn't your fault and it's due to this that you've become frightened, frightened and vulnerable. I'm not surprised by this in the slightest, if you hadn't had reacted in this way I'd be asking why, it's only normal and human to react in this way..." doing her best to stay strong and steady her voice, even though it was so hard because of how much she just wanted to wrap her arms around the distressed brunette in front of her and hold her, but she knew she had to get Serena to that place first.  
"Why do I feel a burden though, I don't know what's happening to me being like this, it's not me, I've never felt like this before and it's scary, I feel jumpy, panicky....I don't like it, it's horrible...I....I...I don't feel like myself....I just want...want it to all go away..." her knees weakening as her sobs got heavier, Bernie unsure how much longer the other woman's legs could hold up, wanting to catch her if she was going to fall.

 

"Because you've been through so much in a short space of time, but I promise you it'll get better, it'll get easier, not right away but a little bit at a time, day by day...until it'll all go away fully and you won't be scared anymore. You might have harder days than others, or easier days than others but that's alright, anyone can have them, that's just life. And if you have to cry then you cry, let it all out, cry as much as you want, it doesn't matter at all, it doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. If there is any other help along the way you might need then that's what you'll get because you're worthy of it and it'll help make you feel better. I'll be with you every single step of the way, every single day because I love you....you're my girl and I love you and I'll never leave you, because you're my world and I'd do anything for you, anything, I'd be lost without you...." her own voice shaking as she got to the end of what she was saying, the emotion and love clear in her words, her eyes fixed on the brunette the whole time.   
It was during the little speech Bernie had been giving that Serena's fingers had parted a little and she'd caught a glimpse of the woman she loved.  
She was stood there saying all this to her, no one else. She wasn't running away from her, she wasn't shouting, wasn't trying to come closer, just as she'd been asked not to, she was standing there, looking at her, straight at her, her eyes filled with nothing but sincerity and love as she spoke to her, her words strong and true about loving and supporting her no matter what it took, just like Serena would do with her.  
Maybe, maybe it wasn't real what her mind was telling her, maybe she wasn't actually a burden, that what Bernie was saying was true. If it had been the other way around then Serena would do exactly the same, just like if it was a patient who had come into the AAU and who'd been through the same ordeal, she wouldn't be thinking or saying they were weak or a burden, no, she'd be treating them for any superficial injuries and then treating the mental ones that were invisible and needing different treatment and if that meant sending the patient to some other specialist in a different part of the hospital then so be it, whatever was going to help the patient. Serena Campbell was no different it was becoming apparent, surgeon or no surgeon, it didn't make you immune to suffering the pain and trauma humans suffer after going through various situations.  
"Baby please...please let me hold you, I just want to hold you, look after you and love you..." Bernie asked again, this time pleading that little bit more with the woman in front of her.  
After what seemed like an age in time passing between them, Serena looking at Bernie, Bernie looking back at Serena, the brunette spoke quietly as she nodded and crumbled.  
"I need you..." before the flood gates opened and the heavy sobs came, her knees giving way underneath her, which Bernie spotted and dissolved the gap between them both, wrapping the brunette in her arms, grabbing her before she hit the floor.  
Hands came out and grabbed at the material of Bernie's t shirt, only this time not as tight, it was as if her body and mind knew the woman holding her wouldn't let her fall so she didn't need to hold on as tight.  
"I...I need you so much..." she admitted through her now even heavier sobs, the first time she'd ever said those words to anyone, needing to say it in this instance to release her pent up emotion and pain.  
Bernie started soothingly rocking her as she held her in her lap on the sofa, a warm blanket of comfort being the blondes arms tight around Serena, having her pressed right against her body.

 

"I'm here, I'm right here sweetheart, it's going to be alright....shhh" she replied tenderly into Serena's hair as she kissed it.  
I love you so much, even more so right now if it's possible, you've been so brave in admitting what you need, even though it must be hard, god I love you Serena Campbell.  
No words were spoken as they sat there on the sofa, Serena on Bernie's lap, being rocked as she cried, the blonde's arms not moving their protective shield from around the woman she loved, doing their job along with her rocking motion.   
Simple things seemed to soothe Serena, seen as the brunette was as tactile as she was it made sense to Bernie that this is what'd would help calm her down and make her feel comforted and it's not as though it was a chore, getting to have Serena Campbell sat on your lap snuggled into you, whilst you get to cuddle her close and rock her, Bernie would quite happily do it all day everyday if that's what Serena wanted and needed.  
Bernie shuffled back a bit more into the sofa and sat back, her arms still enveloping the other woman, smiling to herself as she felt Serena's body start to relax and her sobs begin to space themselves out, this smile remaining as a nose nuzzled her neck, soft sniffling from the woman in her arms, wriggling a bit before settling again, her body relaxing out of releasing more pent up emotion and exhaustion.  
Opening her mouth to speak, Bernie stopped, a wider smile on her face at the suddenly peacefully sleeping brunette, her face the most relaxed she seen it in a few days of sleep, Serena's hand flat against Bernie's chest over her heart, as opposed to gripping onto her t shirt for all she was worth, maybe the outburst that had happened had needed to happen, needed in order to get Serena to voice her feelings, her fears, her needs.  
Putting her lips to her girlfriends forehead she gently kissed her as she whispered, being mindful not to wake her.  
"You've been so brave today, so brave and I'm so proud of you....I'm not going anywhere, you don't get rid of me that easily...." another kiss on the brunette's forehead.  
Serena twitched in her sleep, causing Bernie to jump having not expected it, settling again she mumbled softly, the first few words not recognisable, until she said.  
"Bernie keeps me safe..." smiling in her sleep, before she nuzzled her girlfriend, an action that seemed so natural and automatic even though she was still fast asleep, almost subconsciously knowing where Bernie was.  
"You've got that one right Serena.." the blonde smiled as she whispered her answer, looking at her for a few more minutes, carefully then edging to the front of the sofa and standing to her feet, not having the heart to move or wake her, looking down at Serena fast asleep in her arms, making sure everything was ok downstairs, she headed up the stairs and to the bedroom, gently settling the brunette in bed, she herself then climbing in beside her, her own energy running low from the events of the day, not taking long to join the slumbering woman by her side.


	21. Chapter 21

The next couple of days passed and were a mixture of sleep, resting, light eating, cuddles and snuggles. A few times they had tears, mainly from Serena who got upset at the past events up on the roof, but that was bound to happen considering the circumstances and this is what she was reminded of by Bernie, not in the slightest bit bothered by Serena getting emotional and crying.  
They shared laughs and smiles, jokes and giggles, the blonde pleased to see glimmers of Serena shining through the clouds of tears and pain, knowing that before long them clouds would move away.  
"How are you feeling?" Bernie asked as they sat on the sofa in the morning, coffee cups in hand, the TV on low in the background.  
Sipping from her cup Serena looked to the other woman.   
"Not too bad today thank you, seemed to help getting to sleep earlier and easier last night. How are you?".  
Even when asking how she is, she's always checking on how I am, Serena Campbell that's one of the many reasons I love you.  
"I'm ok, as long as you're here.." came the smiling reply, which in turn caused a smile from the brunette.  
Serena leant forward and kissed the blonde's cheek, putting their cups on the table, her kiss then settling on Bernie's lips, their tongues caressing gently, the feeling causing a quiet moan from the blonde trauma surgeon at the contact, the brunette smiling as she heard it.  
Fingers threaded through blonde curls, at the same time as fingers threaded through brown locks, pulling the other closer as they did.  
Their kisses continued, bodies against the other, tongues not parting from the mouth they were housed in until the lack of oxygen forced them to part, breathing heavy.  
"You're gorgeous..." Serena smiled, the red heat in her cheeks apparent.  
"And you're beautiful..." came the equally flushed blondes response.  
The brunette returned her lips back to Bernie's, arms around the blonde's body and moving them both off the sofa to lay on the carpet in front of the fire, the trauma surgeon led underneath the vascular surgeon, their kisses continuing, Serena's hands trailing down the sides of Bernie, underneath her t shirt then over her stomach, making the blonde shiver as she murmured.

 

"Mmmmm.." the noise that was released against Serena's lips.  
"Mmmmm.." nodded Serena, smiling.  
With the blonde's obvious like at what she was doing, her lips moved to Bernie's neck, starting behind her ear, moving slowly down.  
"S...Serena..." Bernie began, her hands on the brunette's hips against her skin.  
"Yes..." between kisses.  
"Are you sure you want to, I mean are you ready to..." the kisses ceased as Serena sat up, straddling the blonde's hips as she looked down at her.  
"What do you mean do I want to..." her eyes conveying her sudden uneasiness and hit to her confidence.  
Bernie took her hands in hers, fingers together seeing the look and gently kissing the back of her hand.  
"I just mean do you feel ready to do this after what happened to you, that's all.." she explained softly.  
Of course she wanted the brunette, she always wanted her, that was obvious to anyone. But she knew Serena had been through such an ordeal, she just wanted the woman she loved to be ready and feel comfortable, want to do this, not just do it because she thought it was what Bernie wanted to do and that she might not want to wait until Serena was fully comfortable again.  
"D....don't you want to..." the brown eyes fixed on the hazel ones below her, starting to doubt if she should've started anything at all.  
Seeing the look, Bernie sat up, her arms going around the waist of the other woman.  
"Of course I do, you know I always want to, I just wanted to make sure as I said that you felt comfortable and ready to do anything after what happened, I always want you..." the answer soft and gentle, the hazel eyes fixed with the dark brown ones, making sure Serena knew she was being honest.  
"I do feel ready to, I want to be close to you again in that way, I want you..." the soft reply spoken as she kept her eyes locked with Bernie's.  
Bernie pulled her in for a hug, her lips near Serena's ear as she spoke.  
"I always want my beautiful girlfriend..." her heart lifting at feeling Serena's cheeks rise as the brunette smiled.  
"Just like I always want my gorgeous girlfriend...." pressing her lips firmly back to Bernie's, laying her back down on the carpet after she'd rid her of her t shirt and got rid of her own vest, breasts pressed together, causing both women to moan softly into the deep but slow kissing that was happening.

 

Hands trailed down Serena's back, whilst hands trailed down Bernie's sides, fingers hooking into the sides of her lounge pants along with her knickers, inching them from her hips down her legs, briefly parting from the kiss to rid her off them fully, standing up she got rid of her own pyjama bottoms and knickers, replacing her now naked body on top of the blonde's.  
The instant contact of skin on skin caused them both to moan into the others mouth, this moaning going up a little in volume when each woman felt the wetness of the other against their mounds.  
"You're so wet..." Serena started, trailing one of her hands between them and gently through the warm, wet heat of Bernie.  
Bernie couldn't help but sigh at the touch of Serena, her hips bucking lightly, her head nodding.  
"Just like you are.." repeating the same action she'd just had done to her, Serena groaning as she too felt Bernie's touch.  
Lips were back together in an instant, tongues roving around mouths, hands up and down bare flesh, slowly, enjoying the feel of the skin on skin contact, not in any rush.  
"I want us to make love together...." breathed the brunette their lips brushing.  
"Sounds perfect..." the blonde re establishing contact with her girlfriends lips, legs moving so that one of Serena's thighs was in between Bernie's legs pressed against her and Bernie had one of her thighs in between the legs of the brunette against her.  
Dual moans were released as both women felt the contact of each other's thighs and the wetness along with it.  
"Oh Serena...".  
"Oh Bernie..."  
Lips brushing and then kissing, slowly and passionately as their hips started up a slow but steady rhythm together, wetness moving up and down prospective thighs, low moans permeating the room.  
Breasts leant against breasts, nipples hardening at the friction of their bodies, lips moving from kissing lips to taking turns to pepper each other's neck with warm and wet kisses, all the time keeping their bodies together, their hips steady rhythm pushing clits against thighs, the wetness adding to the sensations they were feeling and adding to the pleasure building up with each movement of their hips.  
It was the first time they'd each made love like this, Bernie had known that women did it or heard of it being the 'in thing' in porn that was apparently what the women did on them type of shows, but she'd never done it with anyone she'd been with before, it always felt too intimate as it were, full body contact with the other person, no space between you both.  
Serena hadn't done or felt anything like this either, she too had come across it when glancing over sites on the internet or what she'd heard about porn too, it being the 'thing' apparently lesbians do when having sex, even though she'd always thought and known there must be more to it than what people had actually said, this being confirmed in her 'research' online. She'd never have thought she'd actually do it with Bernie of all people, expose her body fully and lie it on top of someone else, in the middle of her living room, theirs clit touching and grinding on each other's thighs, taking them to the height of pleasure, lips unable and unwilling to part. No, she would never have imagine this and even if she had, this was much better than she or Bernie could ever had imagined or fantasised about.  
Just being able to have the woman she loved on top of her, watching and feeling her grind against her, her face flushing, forehead and now body beading with sweat, feeling the wetness from the brunette on her thigh was such a turn on for the blonde, her moans starting to increase in frequency and pitch along with them of the brunette as their hips picked up the pace, starting to hold onto the other more as the pleasure built up.

 

"You're so sexy..." Bernie panted in between the now more passionate kisses, her hands trailing down Serena's back.  
"You are..." the panted reply came back, also moving her hands from being in Bernie's hair to the edges of her breasts and down her sides.  
Still their hips ground together, both of them enjoying the steady pace and how it seemed to build their pleasure more intensely being skin on skin with their girlfriend, hearing the other moaning and panting, feeling the wetness lubricate each thigh for the clits that were now throbbing against the friction they'd been climbing too.  
Lips bruising together, tongues battling, bodies becoming even warmer, faces glowing red, they increased their hip speed for the final assent. Bernie gripped onto the soft round cheeks of Serena's bum, as the brunette gripped onto the blonde's hips as they felt themselves starting to lose control.  
"I'm....I'm close..." was the raggedly breathed statement from Bernie, breaking apart from the lips of Serena to get air.  
"Me...me too..." Serena panted, their hips now grinding rapidly against the dripping wet thigh of the other, clits pulsating.  
Loud and pleasurable moans and noises were filling the air in the living room, as both women pushed the other to their climax.  
"C....Come with me..." asked a now losing control Serena, her grip tightening more on her girlfriends hips.  
Bernie nodded, her panting even more rapid now, her hands also gripping harder onto the bum of the woman on top of her.  
"B...Bern..." this was all that was managed from the mouth of the brunette, before the blonde underneath her added.  
"Sere...".  
Both women crying out in pleasure as they felt their releases flood all over their girlfriends thigh, heads leading onto shoulders, grabbing at any available oxygen to fill their gasping lungs.  
Having gained enough to try to speak, Serena was the first to attempt to.  
"T...That was...the most..intense and glorious love I've...ever...made..." her eyes looking down at the hazel set below her, seeing a smile spread across Bernie's face.  
"I've never made love as good as that before either....not with anyone.." her face lighting up as she saw Serena beam at her, their lips coming back together to share a loving and gentle kiss.  
Serena's head finding it's place on Bernie's shoulder, her arms holding the blonde's hips, the blonde leaning her cheek against the now messy and sticking up hair of the brunette, arms wrapped tight around her, both women just happy to lay together on the living room floor together, as their bodies calmed down from the glorious and passionate experience they'd just shared.

 

Using her one of her hands, she trailed her fingertips over one of Serena's bum cheeks, the brunette twitching as it tickled her, Bernie doing it again.  
"Bernie.." she squealed softly, the blonde biting on her tongue so she didn't laugh.  
"Yes, Serena.." repeating her action and getting the same result.  
"That tickles!" wriggling at the sensation, the reaction causing Bernie to be unable to stop herself chuckling, Serena moving her head to look at her girlfriend laughing, a smile on her own face.  
"You're naughty you are Wolfe..."   
"Me?"  
"Yes, you..." smiling at the mock innocence across the blonde's face.  
"Don't know what you mean Campbell..." a gentle kiss against each of the brunette's dimples, the grin widening on Serena's face.  
"You bloody do..." Serena still smiling, her lips kissing the tip of the blonde's nose, snuggling into her and letting out a contented sigh.  
Bernie cuddled the other woman tight against her, she herself sighing happily before speaking.  
"This is nice...".  
"Yeah it is, really nice...I feel so content..." the answer from Serena that caused Bernie to smile to herself.  
"I'm glad you do, because I do too, you're special sweetheart..." she murmured lovingly.  
"No you are...".  
"No...you are.  
"You are".  
"You are".  
They both laughed as they said together.  
"You are...".  
"I think we could be here all day with this mutual appreciation society..." giggled Serena, Bernie laughing too.  
"Agree that we think each other is equally special?" suggested the blonde, to which the brunette nodded.  
"Yeah that sounds spot on..." kissing the blonde trauma surgeon, then getting up off her, getting to her feet and holding her hand out to help Bernie up, moving them both back to the sofa, not bothering about putting their clothes back on as they led together, skin on skin, the throw over them both, dozing in each other's arms.


	22. Chapter 22

After nearly two full weeks of resting, crying, which was getting less than it had in all the time Serena had been off work. Sleeping, napping during the day if needed, eating, walking and just general tlc from Bernie, as well as giving herself a break from usually being Serena Campbell who didn't need to do this, that and the other because she was, or should that be thought she should be Superwoman, slowly she'd felt herself growing stronger, not feeling as afraid and jumpy as the days passed, yes it wasn't ever going to be the quick and instant fix that she and Bernie too would've wanted but there was definitely sure signs of progress being made, so much so that she'd mentioned to the blonde about going back to work, with the discussion being had between them both, Bernie had put her thoughts across to her girlfriend about going back maybe half days, part time or some other way so that she was eased back into it and not just thrown straight back into the craziness and pressure of the AAU, to which after a bit of thought Serena had agreed wouldn't be the best thing considering the circumstances.

 

_I'm here and waiting for a beautiful brunette to grace me with her presence in the AAU, she's beautiful you know ;) xxx_  
Reading the text after she pulled into her space in the car park at dinnertime the next day Serena smiled shyly to herself, messages like this and being called beautiful still managing to make her blush and feel shy, the blonde having started her shift this morning, heading up the AAU whilst Serena had half a day like they'd discussed.  
_Is she now, I'll take your word for it. There's a blonde that's gorgeous too you know ;) I'm on my way up now xxx_  
Out the car and across the car park, up the ramp and into the lift, awaiting for the ping to signal her arrival at AAU level, taking a breath she steadied herself, the nerves slightly there but nothing like when she'd last been here thank god. Straightening up she made her way out of the lift, swiping her card at the door, moving through them and into the familiar sights and sounds of the ward, nurses and doctors bustling around to their various patients.   
Familiarity.   
Into the office she walked, over to her coat stand in the corner behind her desk, slipping her handbag off her shoulder, it reaching her forearm before she heard the door click close and a voice in her ear, back still to the door not having the chance to turn around. "Hello beautiful....allow me..." the voice instantly recognisable.   
Bernie.   
Serena smiled as she was helped off with her coat, putting her bag on the floor, turning round to be face to face with her girlfriend. "I missed you..." Serena smiled after giving Bernie a soft kiss hello. "I missed you too, it's been ages since I last saw you.." she winked playfully, smiling as the brunette giggled. "I know, so so long..." causing Bernie to laugh. "You ok and ready to be brought up to speed, don't worry it's not too bad today, rather quiet considering it's the festive season, which I don't mind one bit...." she asked, hugging the brunette.

 

"Yeah, let's see what we've got..." grateful of the hug, with one last squeeze of each other they parted, Bernie taking the chance to squeeze the loose hand of her girlfriend reassuringly as she open the office door, letting Serena go through first, both walking over to the nurse's station. "Serena...good to see you and have you back, how are you?" Raf was the first to spot her, smiling as he spoke, obviously glad to see her. "I'm getting there thanks Raf, slowly but surely..." returning the smile.   
This was followed by more people coming over to see how the join AAU lead was after being off, the genuine concern and happiness at her being back obvious, smiling as they all went back to their patients and jobs, leaving Serena sat at the nurse station smiling.   
"Everyone loves you and are glad you're back, but they don't love you like I do....that's not possible.." Bernie whispered lovingly into the brunette's ear. "You look beautiful too today" her breath tickling Serena's ear, then moving away to attend to the patients, a shy Serena smiling as she watched Bernie walking away, her attention then moving to the paperwork in front of her.   
A few hours into the shift and Serena had settled into her return steadily and fairly stress free, having now moved into her and Bernie's office, her eyes on the computer screen as she replied to, sent and read emails, a knock then coming to the door. "Yes?" still looking at the screen. "Ms Serena Campbell...?".  
  
  
"Yes that's me..." her eyes being pulled to the smell wafting from the door into the office, what was it.....it smelt like....flowers.   
A delivery man stood at her office door with a bouquet of daffodils, dotted with red roses, nestled in between these were white chrysanthemums and blue iris's, all arranged just so, wrapped in a gold thick ribbon and a water bag underneath, a white card sticking through the middle in its holder with **Serena xxx** on it.   
"These are for you..." handing them to her as she rose from her chair, smiling as he saw how surprised she was. "Oh...th...thank you..." as he left the office, closed the door and made his way out of the AAU, not quite knowing what to do with herself, frowning at the card she placed the flowers on her desk and sat on her chair to take the little card from its holder to read it.  
**My amazing girlfriend, Just a little something for you on your first day back, I know it's been a hard and rough couple of weeks, but you've done so well with how far you've come and will continue to go to get fully better, I'll be right by your side all the way. I hope you like the flowers. All my love, Bernie xxx**  
Reading the card again she wiped some of the tears that were now moving down her cheeks, looking up as the office door opened and Bernie appeared, immediately spotting the flowers on the desk.   
"They're...the flowers....they're beautiful...than..thank you..." speaking in between tears, the blonde smiling as she leant against the desk wiping her girlfriends cheeks with her thumbs. "Hey...what's with the tears?" she asked a soft chuckle escaping, a smile on her face, her eyes on Serena.  
"It's..it's just such a thoughtful thing to do and I didn't expect it, no one has ever bought me flowers before and not ones with such a lovely message...thank you..." closing the gap to Bernie as they shared a kiss, the blonde pulling her in for a hug. "You're more than welcome, thought you might like them, beautiful flowers for my beautiful girlfriend...".   
"I'm the luckiest woman in the world having you, I love you..." the big brown eyes fixed on the blonde perched on the desk, holding her hands. Bernie's smiled widened as Serena spoke. "I love you too..." stealing another kiss from the brunette, adding. "I better get my bum back out there before little faces appear in here, but not long to go now then home time..." heading for the office door. "Such a wonderful bum too..." Serena called cheekily, causing the blonde to turn round and give a soft chuckle and shake her head, leaving the vascular surgeon wandering her eyes over the flowers in front of her, her fingers gently admiring them.


	23. Chapter 23

The festive and new year periods had passed well for Serena and Bernie, they'd enjoyed Christmas and New Year at Serena's house, joined by Jason, Cameron and Elinor, Bernie still taking her time trying to patch things up and build bridges with Charlotte, but there was progress and this was a start considering the lack of progress the months and years before. With the festivities over and done for another year January seemed to pass by quicker than people noticed, Bernie spending most if not nearly all of the nights at Serena's now, her apartment hardly ever being used, apart from if she needed to get any bits that she'd left there and she needed the essentials that were still occupying the space. The walk in wardrobe in Serena's bedroom had now had half of it moved over into one side so it made space for the clothes of Bernie that'd seemed to grown there, organically.  
It just seemed right they should be there so the brunette had just moved some of her things, after all she had enough room the size of the wardrobe for one person, and started filtering the blonde's clothes and bits and pieces in, make things easier she thought and Bernie hadn't objected.  
It'd been a long shift that day when they'd both got back to Serena's house, both women glad to put their feet up in front of the TV with some wine, opting for a takeaway, instead of having to start cooking, which neither could be bothered to do, as well as all the washing up there might be just seemed too much to face when they were tired.  
Pyjamas on and takeaway being steadily eaten by the both of them, Serena fished a small box from down the side of the sofa, Bernie's eyes glancing to it as she saw it out of the corner of her eye, her jaw slowing down from chewing.  
Looking to Serena she glanced back to the box and back to the woman next to her, questioning silently.  
Serena put her plate down on the table, Bernie following her lead.

 

"This is for you..." putting the box in her hand.  
Looking down at it and then back up to Serena, Bernie frowned softly not knowing what it could be.  
"What's this?" she asked.  
The brunette gave a chuckle, adding.  
"Well open it and you'll see won't you..?".  
Bernie moved her eyes back down to the box, slowly taking the lid off to reveal a key with a metal ring through the hole at the top where it could be attached to something else, she took it out, her eyes moving back to the brown pair looking at her.  
"A key?".  
Serena nodded.  
"Yeah a key, I....I thought well...seen as you'd been here most of the time it made sense to get you your own key".  
"Oh right....erm...I wasn't expecting that..." the blonde not quite knowing what to say, genuinely surprised.  
Serena kept her eyes on her.  
"In a good way or...".  
"Yeah...I think...I mean yeah in a good way..".  
The brunette's brow furrowed slightly at the answer.  
"You think?".  
Bernie looked at her.  
"In a good way yeah...".  
Serena's eyes didn't move.  
"It's not good is it?" she asked.  
The blonde saw the shift in expression and tone of her voice.  
"It is...".  
She shook her head before speaking again.  
"No it's not, you don't want it really do you, silly idea, it's ok, I'll just keep it..." hand moving towards the box.  
"It's not.." started the blonde, not finishing her sentence before the brunette spoke again.

 

"It is, just forget it Bernie ok, it doesn't matter..." the emotion clear in her voice, what else was that noticeable, annoyance.  
"But it does matter, it's a good idea..." watching as the box disappeared from her grasp and back into the other woman's.  
"No it's not, you don't really want it and why would you, you could just go and get someone better than me, more experienced, younger..." the big brown eyes blazing with emotion into the hazel ones of the blonde.  
Bernie frowned as she spoke, she herself trying to get a word in edgeways.  
"What? Are you serious, that's not true at all...you know it isn't! I don't and wouldn't want anyone else, I've told you that!" her own voice starting to raise at Serena's seeming reluctance in the present moment to actually believe her.  
"Yes I am serious, look at me, I'm old and flabby, with wrinkles and stretch marks, various wobbly bits...not exactly a looker. Not like some of the young women doctors at Holby are, not like you are...." getting up off the sofa and away from the trauma surgeon.  
She followed her, moving towards her before Serena stopped her coming closer.  
"You what...what are you talking about, what young women doctors...??" wondering what she was talking about, yes there were young nurses and doctors who worked in the AAU as well as various other departments in the hospital but none of any significance or cause that it might get this kind of reaction from her girlfriend.  
"You do know, I've seen them around you...the F1's, some of them from Keller , or the other women that come into the department....".  
Bernie shook her head, as if trying to get her brain to make sense of what exactly was going on here, how had they gone from a takeaway to a heated discussion turning into a row. I did want to take the key, my stuttering probably didn't help the situation but god I wouldn't ever want someone else, not when I've got this beauty in front of me. But when Serena gets on a roll in this kind of situation, it's like mount Etna erupts.  
"Around me? Around me when, where, I've not a clue what you're talking about or sounding like you might be accusing me of exactly?!" the blonde's frustration at not being heard or listened to starting to bubble.

 

"Around you yes, especially that blonde junior doctor that was in today, she couldn't keep her eyes off you, milling around you....I saw her!" Serena now well into her stride and seemingly unable to stop the emotions flooding out, her eyes starting to brim.  
She had seen the blonde junior floating around Bernie and eyeing her up today, thin, pretty thing she was and normally under these circumstances she wouldn't have bothered, but the way she moved close to her girlfriend bothered her, Bernie in her mind could have her pick of women with that athletic figure, pretty face, smart, hardworking, why would she choose Serena when there were women like this young one throwing themselves at the trauma surgeons feet.  
"Oh my god, she's a junior doctor who had come down to ask for my advice on a patient she was dealing with, if she was milling around me whilst I'm doing my job then what the bloody hell has that got to do with me, it's not my bloody fault!" Bernie rapidly losing patience now, she'd gone from eating and relaxing with the brunette to now being accused.  
"Because she probably wants you like lots of women do, women better than me!" the brunette shouted back, her voice quivering at the end of her statement.  
"But they're not better than you! I've told you they're not why don't you believe me Serena, I love you! I would never.....oh you know what, what is the point, I've done nothing wrong...forget this..." turning and leaving the room, quickly grabbing her jacket off the hook in the hallway, pulling her sneakers on from near the door, collecting her car keys and leaving the house, slamming the door behind her.  
Getting in her car, she put the key in the ignition and turned it over before leaning her forehead against the steering wheel trying to calm herself, closing her eyes.  
What has just happened, how can she think that I'd do something like that , I wouldn't dream of doing that to her, I love her to bits, this whole argument is just mad and not necessary at all. Bloody hell, I had to get out I couldn't take anymore of hearing her go on and think them things, especially when it's not true, but once she gets a bee in her bonnet it takes a while for her to sort it out and actually think about what she's saying, bloody hell Serena.

 

Inside the brunette stood shocked at being left in an empty living room, the tears suddenly pooling over and rolling down her cheeks, the realisation hitting her of what had just happened and what she'd actually said, sitting on the edge of the sofa she put her head in her hands and started to sob at her own stupidity.  
What on earth just got into you Campbell, what was that outburst at, all because she stammered her answer about the key, Bernie Wolfe does that when she's nervous or anxious, you know this, she probably was shocked at the gesture, she didn't as she said expect it. But what was the other emotion that was there....something that she didn't ever expect to feel towards someone near Bernie...jealously. Yeah it was right there, rearing up as she saw the exchange between the trauma surgeon and the junior doctor today, she was jealous of the young woman being near her woman, just like Bernie had with David Wright and was that innocent, yes, was Bernie's exchange innocent....yes. Nice one Campbell, you've properly messed this one up haven't you, sort it right now!  
Jumping from the sofa she rushed to the front door, opening it to see an empty space on the drive where the blonde's car had been, she ran to the road, glancing left and right into the darkness, her heart dropped and the fear rose from her stomach, rapidly taking it's place in her throat.  
Bernie had gone.


	24. Chapter 24

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." came the words through her now increasing cries as she stood not knowing what to do or when or if the blonde would ever come back, this thought alone made her feel even more sick.  
I have to try and sort this, have to make it right.  
Breathing hard against the cold night air, she ran inside, still only wearing her pyjamas, straight into the living room and grabbed for her phone, immediately dialling Bernie's number.  
No answer.  
Again she tried.  
Straight to voice mail.  
Come on please answer, I need you too.  
Third try.  
Straight to voicemail.  
Now it was panic stations, she never doesn't answer.  
There's two possibilities.  
Either no signal wherever she's gone, or she's just not answering your calls.  
I'm praying it's the latter.  
Think Serena think, what to do next, I need to get through to her, beg her to come back, that I'm sorry and that I love her.  
Bernie's eyes opened as she sat in her car, leaning her head against the head rest and she glanced at the phone on the passenger seat beside her as it vibrated, picking it up she squinted at it in the pitch black, the only source of light being the street lights dotting the road.  
The joy of crap signal.  
3 missed calls.  
Serena.  
Come to her senses yet and calmed down has she, I still can't believe she'd accuse me.  
Saying that it's not that much different with the whole David Wright situation with me if I'm being honest.  
Then another buzz from her phone.  
1 message.  
Serena.  
**Bernie, I'm so so sorry for the things I said, I didn't mean them I know you didn't mean you didn't want the key it was me taking it the wrong way and just being stupid, the other thing about the doctor I just got jealous, I know it sounds stupid but I did, that doctor was young and pretty and I couldn't and can't stand the thought of losing you, I know that's not an excuse but it's the truth. I know you wouldn't ever cheat or do anything like that, I guess with all that's happened and what we've been through it just got to me seeing someone like that with you, I Serena Campbell do get jealous, jealous over the woman I love and how she could get anyone she wanted, and how they act the way they do around her but somehow she wants me. I am so sorry for tonight, please don't leave me, I know I don't deserve another chance after what I said but I'll do anything for one, I'll beg if I have too. Please don't leave me Bernie, please. I love you and don't want to lose you, please come back, I need you, I can't be without you. All my love Serena xxx**  
Bernie sighed as she read the message, her own eyes tearing up at the words and the thought of the woman she loved being on her own and how upset and worried she'd be.  
Without a second thought she put her phone back in her pocket and drove back to the house, pulling up and taking a breath to wipe her eyes, locking her car as she got out, she made her way to the front door and then inside the house, shutting it behind her.

 

 

The sound of the living room door opening made the brunette snap her head up and look at the noise, her eyes widening and then her face creasing up as she realised who it was, immediately getting up off the sofa and practically running to Bernie, wrapping her arms around her and cuddling tight against her, crying hard into her shoulder, the relief coming out in her tears.  
Bernie wrapped her own arms around the other woman, holding her too her, her own tears rolling down her cheeks at the obvious relief of Serena and the fact she hated arguing with her, her chest aching at hearing her cry.  
"I'm sorry.....I'm so so sorry..." sobbed the brunette, her crying making it hard for her to breathe and vocalise the words.  
Bernie rubbed her back, trying to soothe her.  
"I'm sorry too, shhhh..." moving them to the sofa to sit down side by side, Serena tightly cuddled against the blonde, still crying.  
She kept her face buried against the trauma surgeons neck, only coming up to look at her before she tried to speak.  
"I thought...I thought you'd left and weren't coming back, I thought I'd messed everything up. I couldn't have lived with myself if I had...I'm sorry.." the thought alone enough to start the tears again, the sincerity of her words obvious in her eyes, she did actually believe she'd messed everything up. Bernie pulled her back into her, wiping her own tears from her cheeks as Serena squeezed her, the thought of not being with the brunette making her feel sick.  
"I couldn't have left you and then lived with myself either..." she admitted, adding. "What was all that about before hmm?".  
Wanting to clear the air and have the discussion properly and sort it out fully, not wanting anything lingering between them.  
Serena sniffed and paused, clearing her throat and then speaking softly. "I...I got jealous and was silly, got the wrong end of the stick and over reacted with the whole key thing.." the box having been put on the table.  
Bernie moved so they were looking at each other, both faces tear stained, eyes locked together.  
"You've nothing to worry about there, nothing to be jealous about, she's just a junior doctor, nothing more nothing less. I'd never do anything like that to you, I've no reason to, I've got the woman of my dreams right here..." her arms around the brunette.  
"I know you wouldn't and I'm proud of the fact other people fancy you and want you, but you're mine. I know I'm not as young as I used to be and my body isn't either but your opinion is all that matters to me.." being as honest as she could.  
The blonde kissed her forehead, her eyes looking back at Serena's. "You and your body are sexy, curves in all the right places, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.." smiling as she saw the red hue in the brunette's cheeks as she smiled shyly, leaning forward and kissing Bernie. "I am sorry Bernie.." unable to take her eyes off her girlfriend.  
Bernie smile remained as she spoke. "I know, I know.." pulling Serena against her, whispering. "And by the way, I'd like nothing more than to add that key to my bunch...." Serena lifting her head, a wide smile as she pressed her lips to the blonde's, reaching to pick the box up from the table, taking the key out and passing to the other woman, Bernie beaming as she took it.

 

 

  
Slipping her shoes off and putting her jacket on the floor, she snuggled back up with the woman she loved on the sofa, arms wrapped tight around one another, a peaceful atmosphere having been restored to the room.  
Lazily Serena ran her fingers up and down one of Bernie's arms that were around her, her eyes following her fingers.  
"What you thinking?" was the question through the calm silence from the blonde.  
"Just about us and you, and how lucky I am to have you, to be able to call you mine. Never in my life did I think I'd find a love like this, with someone like you...".  
Bernie smiled to herself, squeezing Serena. "I didn't either, if someone had told me I'd get to be with Serena Campbell, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and she'd love me like I love her, I'd have called you crazy and said you need to have your head checked.." looking down at the brunette as she felt eyes on her.  
"I love you so much..." Serena murmured lovingly.  
Bernie gently kissed her as she whispered. "I love you more..." feeling the smile against her lips from the other woman as they snuggled closer.  
"How about some more wine?" suggested the brunette as their lips parted. "Sounds good to me.." came the reply, the blonde watching as Serena rose from the sofa, unable to help herself as she put her hands against the brunette's bum over her pyjama pants squeezing gently, smiling as Serena turned to her as she felt Bernie's hands, adding. "I can't help it, you have such a curvy, nice bum, I just have to touch it..." smiling more as she saw her compliment cause the brunette to giggle and smile widely, pecking Bernie's lips and then head into the kitchen to get their wine, the blonde's eyes staying on her until she disappeared from view.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You guys really are such a lovely lovely bunch of people, your comments humble me so much and I appreciate every single one of you and your comments, thank you so much for supporting my fic! :')
> 
> I think I'm over my writers block and back on the Berena writing train! :P  
> Thank you again!  
> Enjoy! :)

Bernie sighed at the pile of paperwork as she sat in her and Serena's office alone, the brunette having left early for something that she wouldn't tell her about, causing the blonde to wonder what on earth she could be up to.  
Her eyes moved to the clock.  
Oh come on surely it's further around the clock than it was last time I looked, are the batteries actually working, are they moving them hands around the face or are they just messing with me, making me think time is ticking by when it's moving at a snail's pace.  
What's Serena up to as well, where's she gone and what is she doing, sneaky sod not telling me anything when she knows I'll be on pins wanting to know and trying to concentrate here when she's doing....well whatever she's doing, little sod.  
Dragging her from her thoughts was the sound of her phone going off, picking it up from next to her on the desk, Bernie unlocked the screen.  
1 message.  
Serena.  
__**Hi gorgeous, Not long to go now then it's home time, can't wait till you get back, I miss you. When you get in go straight upstairs to our bedroom, there's something there for you. Can't wait to see you soon. I love you xxx  
** Bernie smiled at the message, her mind wondering what it is the brunette could have left for her, knowing Serena it could be absolutely anything, oh my god I want to go home now, this is bloody ridiculous, hurry up.  
She calmed her thoughts enough to reply.  
__**Hi beautiful, I miss you and can't wait to be home, this paperwork seems to be breeding haha. I will do as I'm told and go straight to our bedroom, not a clue what you're up to, cheeky ;) Can't wait to see you either. Love you more xxx.**  
Forcing herself to put her phone down she continued with her work, although if truth be told half her mind was on getting home and to Serena, this train of thought remained as she sorted the paperwork that hadn't been completed into a pile and left the rest on her desk, collecting her things and heading down to her car, her one thought to get home to Serena.  
Pulling up on the drive she got out, car locked, and heading straight into the house, becoming aware of the fact downstairs was in complete darkness, the only light in the hallway coming from the streetlights outside.  
With her bag, coat and shoes left by the front door, she headed up the stairs as instructed on the message, padding across the landing and into the bedroom, her eyes widening as she pushed the door to reveal rose petals on the bed, and tea lights flickering at different areas around the room, lighting up the room perfectly, a bouquet of red roses on Bernie's bedside drawers, a card nestled in the top with her name written on the envelope.  
Looking around the room, Bernie moved to perch on the edge of the bed, studying the flowers before picking the card out of the blooms to read it.  
**Bernie, I know things have been stressful and hard these past few weeks and months, not just for me but you too in all you've had to do between work and looking after me and everything else, due to this I thought it was about time you had a treat and some pampering, because you deserve it. When you've read this card, just say ' I've read it' and then your pamper night begins. I love you. xxx**  
What is she up too, what pampering...what treat, her mind unable to think what exactly could be in store for her, with the card placed back next to the flowers, Bernie did as the card said.  
"I've read it.." she said, her eyes moving to the bathroom door as she heard the handle, sitting on the bed, her feet up.  
Opening the en suite door slowly, Serena revealed herself on the other side, Bernie's eyes widening and her expression one of surprised mixed with the first signs of lust.  
There stood the brunette dressed in just a corset and knickers, the corset is a combination of a black and red lace and mesh body, little thin strap details crossing over the stomach and down between the bra cups, matching lace and mesh knickers finishing off the outfit, the underwear hugging the curves of the brunette just so, her breasts being hugged by the bra cups and the mesh peeking her skin through the fabric, allowing Bernie even more view of the other woman.  
"W...wow..." was all the blonde could vocalise having first look at the brunette in front of her.  
It was the first time Serena had ever done this for someone she'd been with, not even Edward had gotten this from her, he didn't deserve it after all, bastard.  
She felt nerves in her stomach as she moved from the door, over to and then around the bed, swaying her hips as she did, making her way to the side where the blonde was sat, picking up the small remote next to the flowers and pressing one of the buttons, the music from the speaker dock in the bedroom starting and the soft sound of romantic music flowing out, replacing the remote, she looked at Bernie. "Don't move a muscle and no touching me....ok?".  
The blonde nodded, unable to speak as she looked at the woman in front of her, her eyes not moving.  
Feeling the rhythm of the music, Serena started slowly swaying her hips in time to it, her hands flowing up and down the corset, over her curves, down over her bum as she moved in a circle, allowing the dumbfounded blonde a full 360 view of her.  
  
  


Closing her eyes she became more enraptured in the music, her hands cupping her breasts, sliding up and down her neck, peeking through her eyelashes as she heard a groan from Bernie. "Oh my god..." was the somewhat breathless statement from the blonde, causing a smile from the brunette.  
Serena open her eyes as the next track came on, still dancing and moving, she closed the gap that had been between her and the bed, before saying. "Sit on the edge of the bed for me..." which Bernie did without hesitation, looking at the brunette now stood between her legs, feeling the wetness that had appeared on her knickers.  
Serena leaned down and pressed a kiss to the blonde's lips before then starting to slowly unbutton Bernie's white shirt, her lips kissing the soft skin of her neck as she parted the fabric, these kisses then trailing in between Bernie's bra clad breasts and down her stomach, stopping at the waistband of her trousers. "I don't think we need this..." taking the shirt from her shoulders and throwing it on the floor. "Or this...." unhooking Bernie's bra, this going the same way as the shirt, gently laying the other woman back on the bed and straddling her hips.  
Oh my god she's sexy and curvy, I just want to rip that corset off her and have her right now, so much, it's torture not being able to touch her, but when I can I'm going to show her what I think of her and her body.  
"You're so so sexy, do you know that...." purred the blonde underneath her, adding. "I want to touch you so much...". Serena smile at the words, leaning down and pressing another passionate kiss to Bernie's lips, whispering in her ear. "You're gorgeous and sexy, next thing I'm taking off are your trousers and knickers, then I'm going to pamper you somewhere heavenly..." this causing a groan from the blonde, her body fizzing with want and arousal, her core starting to pulsate, her body heating up.  
Doing as she said, Serena removed the last two barriers of clothing, before settling Bernie in the middle of the bed and leaving a trail of wet, hot kisses from her lips, over her neck, over her breasts, giving each nipple special attention, causing Bernie to moan, her hips bucking off the bed and arching into the brunette, as she smiled against her girlfriends stomach, this smile growing as she saw the glistening curls between her thighs.  
"So wet..." her fingers gliding up the wetness that coated the blonde's slit, all the way from the bottom to the top, Bernie moaning out at the contact.  
Settling between the blonde's thighs Serena saw her girlfriends obvious want for her, a smile across her face as she gave a light lap of her tongue to her girlfriends core, not penetrating her...yet.  
  
  
"Oh god..." was the moan of the blonde, arching into the face above her, her body aching for the contact.  
"Mmmm.." was the mumble from Serena as she trailed her tongue up Bernie's slit and to her pulsating clit, taking the warm wetness of her girlfriend with her, flicking her tongue left and right and round and round over the sensitive nub.  
Bernie cried out as she felt her, her hands going into brown locks. "Oh yeah...oh that feels so good..." her hips bucking into Serena's face.  
Keeping the rhythm of her tongue, feeling the arousal of the other woman increasing by the second, Serena entered her two fingers straight into the warm, wet core of Bernie, the blonde crying out and moaning at the fullness, her fingers gripping tighter to the brown locks below her as the brunette pumped her fingers in and out, her own wetness between her legs increasing as she heard the other woman.  
"Fuck! Yeah...oh god yeah...!" was the panted moan, just able to get the words out as she felt herself tightening around the brunette's fingers. Serena moaned as she heard the blonde, wanting to give her her release.  
"I want you to cum for me Bernie, I want to feel you around my fingers..." Serena huskily breathed so the other woman could hear, her tongue re taking its place and furiously lapping against Bernie's clit, unable to get enough. Hearing the request from her and the tone in which she said it, this with the brushing of her g spot from the skillful fingers of her girlfriend, sent Bernie over the edge , cuming hard around the fingers inside her with a loud moan, her mound arching into Serena's face, hands tightly gripping the brown locks that hadn't moved from her grasp, her body covered in sweat, chest heaving as she panted for air, before her body lay back on the bed, recovering.  
Serena smiled as she waited for Bernie to recover, slowly removing her fingers and gliding up to lay alongside her, propped up on her elbow, she watched her. Turning her head, Bernie looked back at the figure next to her, a wide smile over her face, moving she came to mirror how Serena was led.  
"You ok?" asked the brunette.  
"More than ok...that was...well..amazing..." leaning forward to kiss Serena, pushing her gently to lay on her back, straddling her hips, her eyes roving all over the corset and knickers she was wearing, her eyes showing her approval.  
"God you're sexy as hell in this...bloody hell..." not able to find actual words, the sight of the brunette scrambling her brain. "I'm glad you like it.." smiled the brunette, the approval of her girlfriend making her heart soar.  
"I do...but now...it's time for it to come off...I've waited more than long enough...I need my woman..." she replied, the desire obvious as she pressed her lips to Serena's, helping the brunette to sit up slightly so she could take the corset off her, before tossing it to the floor, un needed, this swiftly followed by her knickers, laying her back down she parted from their kisses, her lips starting their journey at Serena's neck, taking in all of the soft skin she could find, her breasts were next, taking each nipple in turn in her mouth and suckling on it like she'd never had it before, causing Serena to moan and arch off the bed, her breasts into Bernie's face, the blonde smiling against them.  
"Oh Bernie..." her hands stroking her girlfriends face as she felt the heat begin to build inside her, the familiar feeling start between her legs.  
"Such sexy curves.....god what you do to me..." purred Bernie as she took in her girlfriends stomach and hips, peppering all the exposed skin with wet kisses, her hands trailing down the inside of Serena's thighs as she inched her way down, groaning as she caught some wetness on her fingers, as she added. "So wet too...".  
"F...for you..." breathed Serena, bucking up into Bernie. Bernie kissed the brown curls between Serena's thighs, smiling as she heard Serena moan and buck into her face again.

 

 

Leaning down she tickled her tongue at her entrance, smiling more at the groan she was met with, her tongue scooping up some of the wetness and trailing it up to her clit, before suckling on the sensitive nub in front of her, this causing a louder moan from the brunette.  
"P...please. I need you..." panted Serena, aching for the blonde.  
With her tongue alternating between up and down and left to right, Bernie easily slid two fingers into Serena's core as high as they'd go, the tips reaching her g spot and brushing it, withdrawing before repeating her action.  
This fullness inside her and contact on her g spot gained a loud cry from the woman underneath, her hips bucking in time with the pace of Bernie's fingers, body buzzing with pleasure, breathing ragged, knowing it wouldn't take her long.  
"Yeah...oh Bernie, that...that feels so good...don't stop..." managing to speak before she gave another moan, louder than before as she felt herself start to lose control, hands quickly grabbing blonde curls, this sentence and action spurring the blonde on, she herself groaning as she felt the tightness increase around her fingers, the clit under her tongue growing, Serena wasn't far off.  
Her fingers increased their speed, this matched with her tongue, sweat over her brow, wetness between legs as she pushed the brunette towards her release. "I...I'm cuming..." was all that was managed before she cried out at the euphoric feeling that swept over her, her body tensing, hips off the bed and into the face of her girlfriend, fingers with a tight grasp of Bernie's hair, breathing and heart rate rapid, sweat covering her body.  
Bernie smiled against her woman's mound, lightly kissing her highly sensitive clit, as she gently withdrew her fingers after Serena had begun to come down off her climax, she kissed a path over the brunette's stomach and breasts to her lips, softly kissing her, their tongues brushing together, Serena tasting herself in her girlfriends mouth.  
The blonde swept an escaping curl from her face, her turn now to prop herself on her elbow and watch the heaving chest of Serena gradually start to slow, the big brown eyes looking at the hazel ones next to her, smiling.  
"You ok beautiful?" the blonde asked, also smiling.  
Serena nodded.  
"I'm more than ok, bloody hell..." giving a chuckle, which Bernie also chuckled at. "And a bloody hell too.." joked the blonde, adding. "Bloody hell you more like, I thought I'd lost the use of my tongue when you revealed yourself in that lingerie, then your dancing and touching yourself, jeez woman..." her smile beaming, the honesty easily showing in her eyes.  
"Well I'm glad you didn't, that wouldn't have been good, in fact it would have been awful...." giggled the brunette.  
"I'm glad you liked it though, thought the events of late warranted some pampering for you...".  
"Very awful for me too, couldn't show you how much I love you, or hear you make all them delicious noises..." it was true, Bernie loved hearing Serena when she pleasured and made love to her, the thought of those sounds alone was such a turn on. Serena gave a shy giggle. "Have to keep hold of that underwear then, bring it out bit more often for you.." winking cheekily.  
"My dear, you can bring that underwear out whenever you like, you in it, plus you being all seductive doing your dancing in front of me and me not being able to touch you, oh my god talk about a turn on, you have no idea how sexy you are...".  
She really doesn't get how sexy she is, I thought I was going to combust being made to sit on the bed whilst she was dancing in front of me in that lingerie, those curves, that body, that face, oh my god all of her is just sexy and beautiful.  
Serena Campbell is a sex bomb.  
"Just like you don't when you're walking around in your shirts on the ward or your scrubs and I know what that body is like underneath them, or in the house in your shorts and t shirt, your hair all messy, so sexy..." the brunette's eyes shining with love as she spoke of Bernie.  
Wrapping their arms around each other they cuddled and snuggled under the covers.  
"If this is what happens when things are stressful at work and away from work, then maybe it should happen more often..." Bernie chuckled at her own joke, Serena also chuckling, looking up at the blonde and pressing her lips passionately to hers, her hands wandering under the covers to cup the other woman's breasts, smiling smugly against the kiss as she spoke. "Who says it isn't going to happen right now...round two Major".


	26. Chapter 26

The next few weeks had gone by with not much in the way off drama, apart from the hectic life of the AAU, all kinds of emergency cases had flown through the doors, the red phone ringing when it felt like it, making the team gather together to save people's lives, patching up whoever came to them.  
The vibe at home was also good, Bernie still spending most of her time at Serena's, not knowing what it'd be like now to have to sleep in and then wake up in her own apartment, in her own bed, alone, the thought alone not being a nice one, enjoying the comfort of going asleep with Serena beside her and waking up and having the brunette beside her, with her snuggled into Bernie or vice versa, each knowing the other was there right next to them.  
"Jason... have you got a minute, I need to talk to you.." as she made her way over to the young man as he was sorting out some supplies off to the side of the ward.  
"Yes Auntie Serena I can spare sometime..." he nodded, coming next to her.  
"Not here on the ward, I'd rather it be somewhere private, well more discreet and away from the ears of the ward... let's go to Pulses and get a coffee, maybe a cake or something too, that ok?" looking at him for his reaction.  
He nodded his agreement.   
"Yes that's ok, I'm due a break now anyway.." following the brunette as she headed for the AAU doors.

 

"Just going to go for a coffee with Jason, nurse Fletcher, won't be long..." she called, the blonde trauma surgeon in theatre dealing with a minor operation.  
Making their way down in the lift Jason turned to his Auntie, studying her face trying to work out what this talk could be about.  
After getting their drinks, Serena with her coffee and Jason opting for an orange juice and a chocolate muffin, they sat at one of the tables in the quiet corner of Pulses.  
She smiled at her nephew as he looked at her and took a bite out of his muffin.  
"So what I wanted to talk to you about..." she started.  
"Yes, what was it , is there a problem Auntie Serena? Is it Bernie?" he enquired, not knowing what she wanted to talk to him about.  
"Not a bad problem no and yes, it's to do with Bernie...".  
He frowned slightly.  
"How can it be a problem but not a bad one, but it's to do with Bernie? What is it?" not understanding.  
Serena paused before she tried again to explain.  
"You like Bernie don't you Jason?".  
"Yes I do, she's nice, she watches the quizzes and documentaries with me, plus she knows some things I don't, she knows how to load the dishwasher like I taught her, she enjoys food we do and she makes you smile, there's no grumpiness from you when she's around, also you love each other...".  
The brunette smiled at how he described what he liked about the blonde, homely things, family things.

 

"That's right we do love each other, just like we both love you too...".  
Jason smiled at this, he did love both of them, they were his family, people who understood and looked after him, despite of his difficulties, he took another bite of his muffin and a sip of his juice.  
"Is that all you wanted to talk about?".  
Serena shook her head, taking a sip of her coffee.  
Come on Serena, all you have to do is ask him, he'll either say yes or no.  
She took a breath.  
"You know how Bernie has been staying with us for a while now...." another pause, before continuing.  
"Well how would you feel if she stayed with us permanently, as in didn't go back to her apartment again and moved her things into our home and it became her home too, all of us together?" taking another sip of her coffee as she watched him process her suggestion.  
It was out there now, no going back or rewinding.  
She needed more coffee to try and calm herself enough for Jason's answer.

 

"I wouldn't mind at all Auntie Serena, I think it's a good idea...she likes being at our house and we like her being there too, I get on well with Bernie and like her, so yes I wouldn't mind it at all..." smiling across at the brunette.  
Serena returned his smile, grateful of his acceptance and agreement at the idea, after all he lived there too and it was only right she asked him too, his opinion mattered a lot to her and she wouldn't do anything he didn't feel comfortable with, especially it being his home too.  
"Thank you, it matters to me what you think about the situation and I wouldn't ever do anything like this without asking you, because it's your home too and I want it to be ok with you too. Do you think I should ask her sooner rather than later?" sipping her coffee.  
Jason thought for a moment, his brain weighing up the options, knowing it was important to his Aunt.  
"Yes I think you should, I think Bernie would like a meal and flowers when you ask her, you both seem to like having meals together and she bought you them flowers didn't she, so maybe you should do that for her, plus people show romance with candles when they're eating together too so I think you should buy some and light them when you ask her" was the rather confident answer, turning back to eat his muffin.

 

Serena couldn't help but smile proudly, he really was such a lovely young man, thoughtful and caring and he'd really grown so much in confidence and esteem these past few months, the way he'd accepted and took Bernie being with her in his stride, his relationship with the blonde trauma surgeon blossoming and getting stronger all the time, not to mention his seeming attachment to her. And now here he was helping Serena out with how to best ask Bernie to move in, she'd never have thought they'd be like this together, of course she'd always wished and hoped for these kind of moments, but didn't think or rather wasn't sure it was possible because of his difficulties he faced, here he was once again proving her and everyone else wrong, knowing more than some people might think he knew or gave him credit for.  
"That's a very good idea Jason, I'm going to do just that, I'm going to make it all romantic and nice for her, she deserves the best and that's what I'm going to give her, thank you for helping me.." smiling warmly as she gently touched his hand in thanks.  
Feeling the touch he looked up from eating, returning his Aunt's smile.  
"You're welcome Auntie Serena..".  
So I have a plan for asking Bernie, the question is now how and when I'm going to do it, Jason reckons to do it sooner rather than later so I guess that's what I'm doing, time to take the bull by the horns Campbell and get going, I hope she says yes to what I'm asking her. There's only one way to get the answer to that question and that's to ask her first, let the planning commence, get ready Berenice Wolfe, I've got a question for you.


	27. Chapter 27

Having one last check on the steak resting in the pan, Serena quickly moved over to the table and scanned the layout, not that she hadn't looked over it a thousand time in the last hour.  
Touching the fork she adjusted it so it was perfectly aligned next to the knife, another look, now it was perfect.  
Her eyes then moved to the noise from further away, feet padding down the stairs.  
Bernie had finished her shower and changing out of her work clothes and was on her way.  
Action stations.  
Bustling around the kitchen she put the plates next to each other, making sure the other components of the meal were ready to go.  
"Mmmm something smells good..." came the voice from behind her, the blonde wrapping her arms around the other woman's waist and kissing her neck, her cheek next to the brunette's.  
Serena leant back into her, closing her eyes at the contact.

 

"I think it does too, I hope you're hungry because there's a bit here and it's ready to be eaten. You go and sit down and I'll bring it over..." getting another kiss on her cheek, before the arms left her waist and Bernie took her place at the table, her eyes looking over how nicely it was laid out, complete with candles.  
Plating the rest of the food, Serena placed Bernie's plate in front of her on the table, smiling as she caught the blonde's smile.  
"This looks delicious Serena...".  
The brunette leaning down to kiss her girlfriend, then returning to the kitchen to get her own plate, joining Bernie at the table, next to her.  
"Bon appétit..." the brunette offered, clinking their wine glasses together as they held them up, both taking a sip of the deep red liquid, before commencing eating.  
Serena took a few sips as she ate, her mouth suddenly becoming more like sandpaper by the minute, nerves starting to bubble up in her stomach, knowing what she was going to ask.  
"This is so good.." mumbled the blonde, her mouth with steak in it, she was never one for bothering much about things like this at the table at home, probably due to serving so much time in the army around men and out in the battlefield where things like table manners weren't needed or even thought of much.  
The brunette smiled across as she ate.  
"I'm glad you like it.." continuing her food and taking more wine on board.  
Both sets of cutlery laid on empty plates a short while later and Bernie sat back slightly on her chair.  
"That was so good...." taking a mouthful of her wine, looking over at the woman across from her.  
Serena smiled as she too sipped from her glass.  
"I'm glad you enjoyed it.." her eyes not moving from the blonde before she continued.  
"I erm....this tonight...I also wanted to put something to you, a question..." eyes dipping into the wine glass.  
Bernie frowned as Serena spoke, trying to search her face for any clues as to what this question might be.  
"Ok...ask me what?".

 

Taking a breath Serena closed her eyes, opening them again and taking another breath, looking back to the trauma surgeon.  
"Well...you know...you know how we've been together for a few months now and things seem to be going well.." a quick glance away and then back to the hazel eyes that hadn't moved from looking at her, Bernie nodding in agreement.  
"Yeah they are, don't you think they are?" thinking maybe the brunette didn't agree.  
"Of course I do yeah, they are going well.." she replied, causing a relieved smile to cross over Bernie's face, adding.  
"That's good, would've made me nervous if you hadn't..." a soft chuckle escaping her.  
Serena chuckled nervously.  
"Based on the fact they are going so well, I...I wanted to ask you something...".  
"Ok..." now it was Bernie's turn to start getting nervous, the not knowing of the question making things worse.  
Steadying herself by closing her eyes and then taking a deep breath she fixed her gaze back on the blonde.  
Bloody hell why am I so nervous about this, it's ridiculous it's only a question to my girlfriend, what is going on. Come on Campbell pull yourself together and just ask her, Jason has given you the ok and he seems to think of it as a good idea and have confidence in it so what's the problem, come on!

 

Another deep breath and a close of the eyes.  
"Are.. are you ok Serena?" frowned Bernie, as she watched the closed eyes of the brunette, to which then they opened.  
What is this all about? Have I done something wrong, is everything ok? Is it Jason? Is it Elinor? Doesn't she want us anymore and she's just saying everything is fine to try and let me down lightly, when really it'd be easier to just come straight out and tell me! If this is the case then I'd better make sure I take all my stuff, though god knows what being at work will be like if the worse comes to the worse!  
"Would you like to move in with me?" the question that stopped the racing thoughts in their tracks, hazel eyes looking straight into dark brown ones.  
"W...What?" mumbled Bernie, not sure she'd heard right.  
"W..would you like to move in with me? I know it's only been a few months but everything feels so right since I've been with you, you being here in this house with me and Jason feels right...so I just thought..." now it was Serena's thoughts turn to be stopped as she was swivelled in her chair from under the table to having the blonde in front of her, pressing her lips to hers in a loving and passionate kiss as she straddled and sat on her lap, her hands holding the brunette's face, Serena's arms snaking around Bernie, pulling her close.  
"I'd love too..." breathed the blonde, her lips not millimetres apart from the set she'd just been kissing.  
A smile that turned into a grin spread over the brunette's face.

 

"You would?" eyes on Bernie, arms not moving.  
Bernie nodded, also grinning herself.  
"I would...".  
Giving a part squeal part squeak in excitement, Serena pulled her close, their lips back together in deep and passionate kisses, tongues brushing over one another, savouring the moment, soft moans filling the air.  
"I love you so much...." Bernie whispered in between kisses.  
I'm so lucky to have this woman not only in my life but to actually be with her and now she's asked me to move in with her, talk about fortunate, waking up beside her every morning and getting to sleep next to her every night, no sleeping on my own, no being in my apartment on my own, no, now I get to come home to this beauty every single day and night, bloody hell fire, what a turn around.  
"I love you more..." Serena smiled against the blonde's lips, parting to look at her, Bernie looking back.  
Gently the brunette traced her fingers over Bernie's eyebrows, eyes, cheeks and then lips, her eyes following, the touch on her lips caused a shiver from the trauma surgeon, drawing a smile from Serena as she felt it.  
She repeated her action, moving her lips to Bernie's neck, soft kisses down the front of her throat before taking each side in turn, the blonde's head leant back, soft moans at the actions.  
Smiling at the moans Serena moved her kisses further down onto the trauma surgeon's chest, opening the buttons of her top to allow her to see and kiss more.

 

Hearing Bernie's breathing increasing Serena said nothing as she carried on her kisses, lifting the top up the other woman was wearing and kissing her bra less breasts, suckling each nipple in turn, not waiting for any words as she slid a hand between them into Bernie's lounge pants not feeling any barriers of underwear to which she was delighted, her fingers feeling wetness, causing her to groan and hear a similar groan from the blonde.  
Not needing any words, she easily slid two fingers into the waiting core of her girlfriend, a gasp leaving the mouth of the blonde at the sudden fullness inside her, her hips moving in time to the rhythm of Serena's fingers.  
"F...Fuck!" was the gasp from Bernie.  
Look at her riding my fingers on my lap right in front of my eyes, now if this isn't close up and personal, not to mention sexy then god tell me what is.  
"Do you know how drop dead damn sexy you look and feel right now..." Serena growled, watching as Bernie rode her hand faster, moans filling the air, hands on Serena's shoulders for leverage, her head back, being spurred on if that was actually required by her girlfriends words and increased pace with her hand.  
"That..that feels so good, I'm not going to..to take long, ple..please don't stop..." the blonde managed to get out between pants.  
"Not a chance..." purred Serena, adding.  
"I can feel you closing around my fingers and it feels so good, you turn me on so much and make me so wet..." and she did, just having the other woman like this and getting to feel and hear her was a big turn on for the brunette, the evidence of it pooling between her legs which was causing her core to warm up by the minute the closer the blonde got to climax, adding her thumb against her clit.

 

Oh my fucking god what is this woman doing to me, I wasn't expecting any of this tonight and now here I am, she's cooked me dinner, asked me to move in with her and is now fucking me whilst I sit on her lap in the dining room and she's watching, jeez, she's something else she really is, never have I done this before.  
Bernie moaned louder at hearing the purred statement, her grip increasing on her girlfriends shoulders, as did her hips as Serena pushed the pace one last time, her thumb rubbing furiously against the throbbing clit of Bernie, her fingers moving in and out of the burning core of the blonde.  
"I'm...Ser..." was all that managed to be properly vocalised enough to hear as words, this teamed with a rather loud pleasurable moan as her core hugged tight around the digits inside her and she felt the familiar sparks flying feeling as she was brought to her climax by the woman underneath her, holding the brunette close to her chest as she panted furiously, gasping at her pounding heart rate.  
Serena couldn't help but smile as she rested her head against Bernie's chest, hearing the sound of her thumping heart against her ear, slowing withdrawing her fingers as she recognised the panting slowly slowing down, her arm joining her other around Bernie's waist.  
Moving herself slightly away from the other woman to look at her, Bernie's red cheeks raised up to a smile.  
"You're so naughty Campbell...".  
The brunette smirked, her own face showing the after effects of their steamy session.  
"Don't know what you mean Wolfe...".  
Bernie chuckled leaning forward to rest her forehead against the equally beaded with sweat one of the vascular surgeon, their eyes locked on one another's.  
Serena's words filling the silence between them.

 

"To have you on my knee and riding my hand....bloody hell it's hot..." her eyes conveying how much she meant it, this alone enough to make the blonde smile shyly, causing Serena to smile in response.  
A shy chuckle was made by the blonde, no one ever having said this to her before, and the fact that it was Serena made it all the more meaningful, eyes still on the brunette's.  
"This has been a night full of surprises I must say, wasn't expecting any of this when I came home and smelt your cooking...".  
Home.  
That's what it officially was now home.  
Both hers and Serena's, she had a key and now the offer that she'd gladly accepted of moving in and living here, all she had to do was move what was left of her things, not that there were loads left, into the house, then it'd be all done, all moved in and settled, the pair of them sharing a house, living together, being together.  
This is what was meant when people said they found where they belonged and felt at home, because now she was experiencing it too.  
She felt like she'd come home.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You guys are the best, your comments,just reading my fic and leaving kudos,encourages me even more to keep working hard at writing and producing the best chapters for you, a big thank you to each one of you! :')

"Woo, that's strong.." coughed Bernie as she sat in one of the nice bars in the city centre a few weeks later, putting the cocktail glass back on the table between her and Serena.  
The brunette chuckled, placing her own glass down on the table having taken a sip.  
"What's the matter with you Wolfe!" another chuckle, looking at the face of the woman across from her.  
It had been ages since they'd had a weekend off together and down time due to work or other commitments that they'd had planned or been presented with at the last minute, so seen as they now had got a weekend free together, Serena had suggested coming into town Saturday afternoon into early evening, having had a nice meal together they'd moved from one of the other bars having a few drinks, now in one of the swanky cocktail bars a few hours later, Serena's eyes lighting up as she suggested this bar, knowing from what she'd heard that the cocktails were to die for.  
Bernie shook her head smiling.  
"Listen Campbell, I'm all for the quality of alcohol but the stuff they've added or put in that is like rocket fuel...".  
The brunette giggled.  
"And I thought you were my big macho army medic..." raising her eyebrows playfully.  
The blonde smirked at what she saw.  
"I am.... see..." playfully tensing her arm, showing off her bicep, Serena felt it with her hand, adding.  
"Hmmm, not bad...not bad...".  
"Not bad....you're supposed to be more convincing than that, otherwise my big macho army medic reputation will be in tatters..." she joked.  
"Oh behave as if that's ever going to happen...drink some more of that lovely cocktail.." picking up her own drink and taking another sip, eyes peeking over the top of the glass to the blonde.  
With another smile Bernie picked her glass up, taking an even bigger sip, more of a gulp of the liquid, her face creasing at the strength and taste of it, causing a stifled giggle from the brunette.  
"Phew...still strong..." replacing the glass beside Serena's.

 

After managing to somehow finish the last of her drink and Serena finishing hers, Bernie made her way back to the bar, knowing she wasn't going to have another of them wicked potions of a cocktail she'd just about managed to finish.  
Ordering something she thought Serena might like, she picked one out for herself and watched as the barman started preparing their drinks.  
It seemed to be an art throwing them bottles around in the air, catching them and landing them in the shakers, not forgetting the twirls and other parts of the what could best be described as a performance they did, it was impressive.  
After finishing them both, Bernie handed over her money and paid, carefully carrying them back to the table, managing to not spill them, weaving through the people that seemed to have appeared from nowhere all of a sudden, filling up the bar.  
The DJ had also turned up during the time that they were there, setting up his decks and equipment in front of the dance floor they had off to the side of the bar.  
"Looks like it's the start of party time..." pointed out Serena a little while later as the music came on, the main lights going off and being replaced by small spot lights and the various coloured ones from the DJ booth.  
It'd been a while since they'd both been in this kind of atmosphere, one filled with people of all ages all out on a Saturday night, all drinking, chatting and enjoying their weekends of not being at work, a few of these people in the bar starting to move to dance on the dance floor as the DJ got in his stride, the music being turned up that bit more, the beat pulsing as the night life in the bar properly got under way.  
Sitting at their table Bernie wandered her eyes over the collection of people dancing, oh this brings back some memories of youth, all out on a Saturday night, drinking and having a good time without a care in the world, music blaring from the speakers.  
Serena watched her watching from where she sat next to her, then she had an idea.  
"Be back in a minute..." not waiting for an answer and disappearing into the crowd, returning a short time later carrying a couple of shot glasses, filled with whatever coloured liquid it was, it was hard to make out in the dark room.

 

"What's that?!" asked the blonde, shouting to be heard over the music.  
"I don't really know, just asked for two of their best selling shots..." shrugged the smiling brunette.  
"It could be anything, or taste like anything...".  
Serena chuckled. "That's what makes it interesting and fun, now come on Wolfe...down the hatch..".  
Bernie eyed up the glass in front of her.  
"Oh I don't know...".  
"Oh come on, we've no work tomorrow, no one is driving, just drink it..." her eyes glinting as the strobe lights reflected off them.  
She couldn't help but smile, here she was sat with Serena Campbell in a cocktail bar, getting slightly tipsy, yes she could feel that feeling after the last few drinks and cocktails, now about to down shots, oh how times change in a year.  
"Ok, ok..." taking hold of the shot glass in front of her, at the same time as the brunette, who added.  
"Ready?".  
Bernie nodded.   
"Ready".  
Both of them downing the liquid at the same time, replacing the glasses to their previous position.  
"Woo!" exclaimed the brunette, smiling at the blonde.  
The blonde couldn't help but chuckle. "To be fair that was quite nice" chuckling again, surprised that she liked the taste.  
"In that case, go on, get us another one..."  
She studied the brown eyes that gazed at her, oh them eyes, gorgeous brown eyes.  
"Ok, I'll be back..." grabbing her purse and moving off the chair.

 

This isn't as bad as some people make out, she'd often overheard some of the older doctors and nurses in Holby complaining about how the junior doctors and nurses had come in on a Monday morning, still tired and suffering a bit from their Saturday night clubbing or a little drink on a Sunday afternoon with their Sunday dinner, which was made worse by the fact they'd not recovered from Saturday. Yes it wasn't good if they weren't feeling the best, but as long as they weren't steaming drunk and incapable of being safe and looking after patients, actually doing their jobs then it was them that were having to suffer with the lingering hang over symptoms, no one else, well apart from the childish gripes of being tired and never drinking again, isn't that what they all say.  
Another two full glasses were returned with and planted on the table, at the same time again they were downed, both women shaking their heads at the taste before chuckling at each other, Serena diverting her eyes to the dance floor that had filled up more, the music being played consisting of mainly dance music as they'd been drinking shots, her eyes returning to Bernie, smiling.  
"Let's dance..." getting up off her chair.  
The blonde looked to the dancers and then back to Serena, as she got up herself.  
"Ok then...".  
Taking the others hands, to help the other woman to the dance floor, yes them shots did effect you if you were older and a bit out of practice of drinking them, it'd been a while for them both.  
Finding a space amongst the other people, not right next to the speakers, obviously.  
Then the beat kicked in of the song that had just started playing, and what a beat it was, they'd never heard of it before but that didn't matter, Serena was the first to start dancing, her hips and head moving with the music, Bernie followed suit, being taken over by the music, a freedom washing over her.  
So there they were, Bernie and Serena, on the dance floor of this swanky cocktail bar, in front of the DJ booth, near enough, surrounded by people, dancing away to the dance music that was playing, not a care in the world.

 

They grinned at each other, breathless from dancing, but not bothered in the slightest.  
"This is fun!" shouted Serena trying to make herself heard over the music.  
Bernie nodded, replying  
"Yeah it is, this music is rather good, I've not a clue what it is, but it sounds good.." chuckling at herself, knowing the people surrounding her probably knew exactly the artist and title.  
And so they continued, dancing away with the rest of the others, holding the other close when they felt like it, stealing kisses and not bothering who saw them, hips grinding against the other woman's, enjoying letting their hair down and doing something neither of them thought they'd be doing at their age, let alone together.  
Laughing and holding each other a few hours and drinks later, drinks being some shorts and another shot or two, they made their way towards the main doors, coats in hands, staggering and swaying somewhat together, the mixture of dancing and alcohol having taken effect some time ago, they clumsily helped the other with their jackets, Serena pulling her bag roughly over her shoulder.  
Stumbling out of the door as they said goodnight to the security men, the pair of the men grinning at them, seeing how much of a good night they'd obviously had and how smitten they seemed together, arms around each other, even if this was partly to stop the other from falling over, Serena's choice of heels for the night adding to this difficulty.  
"I...I think it's home time do you...." giggled Bernie drunkenly, causing the woman beside her to giggle too.  
"Y..Yes, it's...is home...and...and beddy time..." giggling again at her own words, leaning into the blonde.  
Moving along the street to the taxi rank, they found one that was free, managing to tell him their address and cuddled up together in the back, a mixture of laughing and sometimes incoherent speaking, between kisses. Pulling up outside, Bernie got some money from her pocket and gave it to the driver, telling him to keep the change, following Serena out of the taxi, thanking the driver and shutting the door, being reunited with her girlfriend, her arms around the brunette, Serena cuddling against her as they walked in tandem up the drive to the front door of the house.  
Bernie laughed.  
"Shall I help you..." watching the brunette unable to put the key in the lock to open the door after trying several times.  
"It...keeps...keeps moving the lock does..." Serena slurred.  
"No it doesn't..." taking the key and trying herself, remarking.   
"It does move a bit doesn't it..." taking a couple of attempts herself, finally managing to open the door, the both of them moving inside.  
After locking the door they helped one another upstairs, giggling and kissing as they did, into the bedroom and shutting the door.

 

"I...I need need wee....it's...it's my bladder.." shared the brunette, her arms flailing in some kind of expression, to which Bernie laughed at as she led on the bed, her boots now messily kicked off beside the bed, watching the woman she loved holding onto things for support walking into the en suite.  
Flushing the chain she washed her hands and turned the light off before returning, stopping as she stepped into the bedroom to beam at the sight in front of her, there led curled up on the bed, on her side, fast asleep was Bernie, fully clothed still.  
Serena grinned softly as she leant against the door frame of the bathroom, her eyes watching Bernie, slowly she padded over and sat on the bed.  
"Bernie..." into her ear.  
No response.  
"B...Bernie.." a bit louder.  
Nothing.  
"Bernie..." dipping the tip of her tongue briefly into the blonde's ear.  
She roused as she felt it.  
"W..what was that?" her eyes searching then focusing, all be it blearily on the woman next to her, the brunette giggling.  
"Wouldn't you like to know..." also adding.  
"You fell asleep with your clothes on, they need come off.....".  
The blonde frowned up sleepily, a drunken haze in her eyes.  
"I..don't know what you mean Ms Campbell...I'm undressed..." looking down at her body, before finishing with "how come they're still on?" meaning her clothes.  
Serena giggled drunkenly watching her girlfriend.  
"Because, you take didn't your clothes come off.." she babbled, her brain not able to formulate a proper sentence.  
Getting off the bed and to her feet, standing just at the side Bernie wobbled, her eyes moving around the room.  
"It's...it's all moving and spinning.." wobbling some more as she took her jeans off, stopping to lean on her bedside dresser, then taking her top and jumper off, just in her underwear, landing back on the bed, on top of the duvet, looking towards the brunette who'd stripped down herself to her underwear.  
The pair of them giggled, moving from on the duvet after they'd removed their underwear, to underneath it, Bernie spooning the brunette, who'd ended up on her side and apparently been too comfy to move.

 

With her arms around Serena's waist she nuzzled her nose into the dark brown hair in front of her, causing the other woman to snuggle back, her own arms laying on top of Bernie's, smiling at the contact of skin on skin.  
"I've had a fun night tonight....even if..." a hiccup, causing a chuckle from the woman behind her, finishing with.  
"Even if we are a bit drunk..".  
Bernie smiled into Serena's hair, kissing it, murmuring.  
"I had fun too, got to dance with my beautiful girlfriend, people must have been so jealous..." her smile widening as she spoke, this in turn causing the brunette to smile at the words.  
"Must have been jealous of me...me too, because of how gorgeous a girlfriend I have.." getting squeezed close by the arms of the trauma surgeon.  
"I love you.." whispered Bernie, feeling her hands being squeezed and then their fingers being linked together by the woman in her arms.  
"I love you too.." being followed not long after by the steady and slowed breathing of both of them, cuddled against the other, bodies moulded together, fast asleep.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters today because you're all awesome people! :D

"Don't look at me, it's nothing to do with me, I hadn't a clue they were going to move her down here to AAU" was the blonde surgeon's response to the look she'd just been given by the brunette sat across from her in their office.  
The news had just been passed down to them both that a certain young blonde doctor that had resided in Keller was now moving down into AAU for an indefinite amount of time, apparently she'd benefit from the experience herself and the experience that both Serena and Bernie had between them would be beneficial to the young woman.  
"Yes well I'm not impressed, isn't there enough of us down here without adding some junior from upstairs into the mix..." she huffed, moving her eyes back to the sandwich she was eating, taking another bite before putting it down, her attention looking over her computer screen.  
"Apparently not, I understand what they mean though, it is a teaching hospital after all, they want the likes of us and other senior doctors to pass our experience and knowledge onto the juniors" she shrugged, she herself taking the last couple of bites to finish her sandwich, putting the plastic holder to the side of her desk.  
"Not when we're full down here though.." was the brunette's response.  
"Maybe an extra pair of hands would help us in that sense" her hands going up as she saw Serena fix her eyes on her, adding."I'm just saying".  
"Yes a senior pair, not someone we might have to babysit, a slip of a junior".

 

Getting off her chair at seeing her girlfriends reaction as for the second time she turned back to the computer, Bernie moved around to be stood behind the brunette, resting her chin on Serena's shoulder, her lips near her ear as she spoke. "You look rather fetching when you're huffy you know.." smiling as she felt the brunette shiver.  
"I do not.." came the slightly childish response, causing Bernie to chuckle.  
"Do too.." kissing the shell of Serena's ear, then the spot behind it, gently trailing her lips to the skin just underneath her ear lobe, a wider smile on her face as Serena murmured at the touch, leaning into the kisses.  
"Feeling less huffy?" Bernie asked.  
"Uh uh" Serena replied, nodding, her eyes closed.  
"Good" leaning up from her position and moving to the side of the desk so she could see the brunette properly, it taking a few minutes for Serena to eventually open her eyes and look up at Bernie, a smile spreading across her face as soon as her eyes opened.  
"That's much better" Bernie grinned, pecking Serena's lips. "Back to it I go, see how they're doing out there" heading out of the office and into the ward.  
"And last but not least this is Mr Di Luca, Mr Di Luca this is Lily Kurtz, she's a junior doctor who's going to be spending some time with us down here on AAU" Bernie having taken the junior doctor around the rest of the staff in the unit whilst Serena was busy in the office.  
"Nice to meet you Lily, welcome to the team" smiled Raf.  
Lily smiled back at him. "Thank you" turning back to Bernie as Raf headed back to his patients.  
"Right then, you've met all the team now, for the main part of you being down here you'll be shadowing and learning from me and Ms Campbell, you've met her haven't you?".  
Lily nodded. "Yeah I met her earlier".  
Bernie smiled. "Good, now let's get going and see what we've got today" moving towards the nurse station, being followed by Lily.

 

The next couple of hours had passed fairly swiftly, not much in the way of hard work cases and emergencies, the ward running smoothly, even allowing for the catching up of paperwork and discharging patients who had recovered well enough.  
"You can go and get a break if you want Lily" Bernie said looking up from signing a form for one of the nurses, as the young doctor finished some tests she'd been asked to do.  
"Oh ok thanks" she smiled, replacing the file back at the foot of the bed and then heading across the ward to the staffroom.  
Sitting with a mug in her hands Lily glanced through a magazine that had been left on the table, turning at the sound of the door as it opened to Bernie coming into the room and then over to the sink, a water bottle in her hands, running the cold tap as she turned to face the young woman.  
"How you finding it so far?" she smiled.  
"Yeah it's good, lots of new things to learn but that's part of the fun" returning the smile, her blue eyes friendly.  
"That's what I like to hear, plus you're a smart girl, you'll be able to pick it up. When you've finished in here come and find me and we'll see what's next ok?" rising and then filling her bottle at the sink, drying her hands and water bottle.  
"Ok will do" smiling as the blonde surgeon left the room..  
A short time later Lily was back on the ward, having moved onto another patient that had just come onto the ward from the ED.  
"How's she doing?" Serena asked, moving to the side of Bernie who was sat typing notes on the computer.  
Bernie looked from the screen, to the brunette and then over to where Lily was working.  
"Yeah she's doing fine, done all I've asked of her, not struggled so far, all in a timely fashion, asked a few questions to clarify things, yeah she's done ok for a first day".  
"Good, I thought I'd ask just to see how she was doing, considering some of the past juniors we've had here, disaster doesn't cover it" this causing a chuckle from Bernie at the memories.

 

"Oh yes we've had some shall we say interesting ones down here. Luckily she's not like them, she's doing fine" smiling at Serena.  
"Good" touching Bernie's shoulder, to which Bernie squeezed the hand she felt there.  
"I might not be back home till later tonight, I've got that mountain of paperwork to tackle that seems to have bred over night on my desk, no way can I leave it and risk it getting bigger".  
"Ok, text me when you're on your way and I'll make sure your dinners ready" giving Bernie's shoulder another squeeze and returned to her work.  
With the rest of the shift passing as swiftly as the rest of the day had, it made a nice change to the madness that seem to be the ward over the past few weeks, Bernie made a dent in the paperwork that had threatened to consume her desk, tidying the rest away for tomorrow, with her coat on and bag over her shoulder she made her way to the lift and then down to the main entrance, striding out she caught sight of Lily walking down the ramp in front of her, pulling her collar up around her neck from the wind as she walked.  
"Lily?" quickening her stride to catch up with the girl, Lily turning at the sound of her name.  
"Oh hi Ms Wolfe".  
"Bernie is ok out of work. You're leaving late aren't you?" looking to check her watch.  
"Yeah, I've been doing some reading and that on what I've been learning today, didn't realise the time".  
The surgeon chuckled. "Well I can't fault your dedication and enthusiasm, can I give you a lift?" reaching the bottom of the ramp.  
"It's ok, I can't put you out like that, I can get the bus" fiddling with the cuff of her coat.  
"Where do you live, is it far from here?".  
"It's just off the high street, a few streets from the library" she replied, looking to the woman she was talking to.

 

"That's not a million miles from where I'm heading, come on I'll drop you off".  
"I just...are you sure, I'd hate to put you out, you've had a long day too" concerned she might be sending the surgeon on a longer journey home.  
"Did I say you were putting me out?".  
Lily shook her head, no.  
"Well then, I'll drop you off on my way, ok?".  
"Ok, thank you Ms...Bernie" making their way to Bernie's car, chatting about general topics as the surgeon drove them out of the car park and to Lily's house, pulling up outside after a short journey across town.  
"It's that house with the blue door there" pointing it out through the window, unclipping her seat belt, turning to Bernie. "Thank you for dropping me off, it's appreciated" she smiled.  
"You're welcome, have a good night and well done for today, you've had an excellent first day" Bernie smiled back at her.  
"It helps when you've got one of the best doctors in the hospital helping you" her words genuine, as she opened the car door. "You have a nice night too Ms Wolfe...Bernie, thank you again".


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your comments all warm my heart, thank you! <3

"It's ok just take a moment, pass the catheter over to Fran and he can carry on" Serena advised a slightly frustrated Lily, the young doctor doing as she was told and handing the needle over to the male doctor standing beside her.  
It seemed to have been one of them mornings, them not being able to steady your hands to insert an IV mornings, maybe she was tired, maybe it was because it was the start of another day on AAU or maybe having the eyes of Serena Campbell watching a lot of what you were doing was having an effect.  
Lily rubbed her forehead, walking over to the nurse's station, turning back around to see Serena coming over.  
"I'm sorry Ms Campbell, I don't know what just happened then..".  
"Is everything ok Miss Kurtz?".  
"Yeah everything's fine, why?".  
Serena looked over the young woman in front of her.  
"It's just you don't seem to have your mind on the task in hand this morning, a bit...lacking of concentration?".

 

"I do have my mind on the job, I do, I'm just...I'm still just finding my feet at being in a different part of the hospital and what I'm learning, nerves too I think, but I can assure you I'm not lacking concentration" her words firm with enthusiasm.  
The brunette considered the answer and the doctor in front of her.  
"Ok then, well let's see if we can pick it up a bit and have a more successful morning from here on in. Nerves are natural, but don't let them interfere too much, don't let them effect your performance, you're a gifted doctor, let that show through".  
Lily returned the smile Serena gave her and nodded.  
"I will, thank you Ms Campbell" straightening up more at the words of encouragement, before following the vascular surgeon towards the patient that had just been pushed through the doors of AAU.  
"Everything ok?" Bernie asked, Serena coming into the office after being in surgery for the last couple of hours, the red phone going off not long after she'd left a new patient with Lily, giving her some instructions and that if she needed help Bernie would be on the ward still.  
"Just about, it was touch and go in there, the bleed was worse than we thought, not to mention bigger" sitting down in her chair with a sigh of relief.  
"See that Ms Campbell is why you're the best vascular surgeon in Holby" winked the blonde, gaining a giggle and smile from the brunette, this seeming an unavoidable reaction when Bernie winked at her.  
"Much better" smiled the trauma surgeon, watching Serena get up from her chair, make sure the blinds were closed and then sit herself in her lap, her arms going around Bernie's neck, joining their lips together in a soft kiss, leaving their foreheads together when their lips had parted. "Much much better" added Bernie, her eyes locked on a smiling Serena.

 

"Much much better" the brunette repeated. "How about when we get home we just curl up on the sofa together and forget the world?".  
"Sounds ideal to me" giving her girlfriend another soft kiss, smiling at her.  
"Before that I suppose I'd better get this paperwork done.." reluctantly getting from Bernie's lap, pecking her lips one last time before taking her seat behind her desk, smiling across to the blonde as she began writing.  
After finishing up their dinner, cleaning the kitchen and loading the dishwasher, Jason informed them he was heading up to his room to play on his games console for a while before he went to sleep.  
"This is nice" mumbled Serena, now led down on the sofa, moving from being sat up a short while ago, her arms cuddling Bernie close, the blonde's head against her shoulder, both sets of legs stretched out together.  
"Yeah it is, feels like we haven't done this for a while" replied Bernie, enjoying the peace of just laying with the brunette after yet another busy shift, lately it seemed the AAU hadn't stopped with patient after patient and emergencies in between them, not to mention the late nights in surgery, either together or apart, one or the other asleep by the time the other woman got through the door.  
"We haven't no, it's been hard what with the hectic AAU and everything that goes with it" agree Serena.  
"The joys of being clinical leads" Bernie chuckled."How was everything today, Lily doing ok?".  
Serena nodded." Yeah she's doing fine, seemed to have a wobble first thing, had trouble putting a few drips in, so I got Fran to take over, he seemed to manage ok..".  
"You weren't watching her by any chance whilst she was doing them, I mean really watching her?" she asked, opening her eyes whilst she waited for an answer.  
The brunette glanced down at the woman in her arms and then answered.

 

"I was nearby yes, why?".  
Bernie couldn't help but chuckle again. "No wonder she was having trouble putting the IV's in..".  
"What do you mean?" Serena frowned down at the hazel eyes looking up at hers, a smile over her girlfriends face.  
"If I was her age, I'd just been moved to AAU and on my second day I was putting IV's in in front of Serena Campbell, the Serena Campbell I think my hands would be shaking too".  
"Oi you" tapping Bernie's shoulder. "I'm not that bad....am I?".  
"No, not bad, but I just mean she might feel the pressure that bit more because no doubt she wants to impress you and make a good impression because it's you and your department, doesn't want to let you down either I suspect".  
Listening as Bernie spoke, Serena nodded in understanding.  
"Yes, I suppose you do have a point, I just want her to achieve her full potential, be the best she can be, push her to do her best, get the full repertoire of her and her skills".  
"I know you do, as do I and the rest of us, but she needs to be given the time and space to do that, pressure isn't a bad thing as long as it doesn't hinder her and her learning".  
Bernie smiled as she felt arms cuddling her tighter, her own arms pulling Serena closer to her on the sofa.  
"How can you be such a fantastic doctor and so reflective and insightful too?" asked the brunette, her eyes with Bernie's.  
"It's just one of my many skills" the blonde surgeon smirked cheekily, causing Serena to giggle at her expression.  
"So modest too, not! Enough of the smirking Major, why don't you show me what other skills you've got then?".  
"I'd be happy too" meeting the lips of the other woman, who rolled Bernie on top of her and introduced her tongue into her mouth to which Bernie responded, their hands beginning to wander and explore the peaks and curves of the other.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's another update for you wonderful bunch! <3  
> Enjoy! :D

"Ok, so obs every 30 minutes and let me know if anything changes, anything at all?" was the order from Serena to one of the nurses after tending to one of the patients on the ward.  
"If anyone needs me I'll be in my office" she called on passing the nurse's station, getting a nod from Raf and Fletch.  
"This seems never ending, at this rate we should hire secretaries, each of us should be given a secretary for the sole purpose of doing all this bloody paperwork and filing" huffed the brunette.  
It was true, the amount of paperwork they seemed to do per patient seemed to be growing, she could have sworn it was.  
I didn't remember doing half as much as this at the beginning of my career, and after getting rid of one pile there's another in its place, I understand now what Bernie meant about it breeding, it bloody does, well unless I'm doing the rest of the wards work as well as mine on top.  
I could see that happening too, those from upstairs thinking we don't have enough to possibly keep us occupied down here, it's only AAU so you know what why not just add in the extra bit of paper from up there, AAU won't mind at all.  
Come on now Campbell let's make a dent in it before it's time for home, hoping that the red phone doesn't ring in between and Bernie doesn't have any emergencies or hiccups in her surgery.  
Glancing at the clock she sighed, Bernie had been in surgery for at least 3 hours now, it seeming like the straight forward hernia operation had got somewhat more complicated and serious, hopefully not too serious and if it had the trauma surgeon could sort the problem.

 

She had a habit of being able to do that, not just medical problems, but in general problems, calm situations, rationalise them, work through them. Whether it be the emergencies that flew through the doors of AAU, things at home, patients relatives, patients that got too much in the ward or Serena herself she had a calming influence.  
It seems all those years of working out in the middle of god only knows where on the battlefield had been transferred to her work in Holby.  
When that young doctor what's her name again....Lily, yeah Lily, had got a bit ate up at not remembering a certain thing a few days again, it'd been the blonde trauma surgeon who'd managed to get through to her and calm to down, assuring her it was ok and things like that happen even for highly experienced doctors like herself and Ms Campbell, yes she'd still added my name in there too, nicely done Berenice, nicely done.  
So yes in terms of steering a calm ship and fanning the flames of uncertain unrest, Bernie Wolfe had that boxed off, just like she was doing in the operating theatre right now.  
Those dexterous hands that worked so fast but also precisely, calm and collected they were, just like the woman herself, no matter the pressure in the confides of the small space that was theatre, no matter the task faced due to the injury or problem of the patient on the operating table still she remained cool headed, assuring and getting the rest of the team in there to focus, to be positive, to be the best.  
Anyway enough of thoughts about her you've got work to do Campbell there will be enough time to do that, as well as getting up close and personal with the woman herself and oh how you both like doing that with each other.

 

Forcing herself to revert back to the hideous pile of paperwork the vascular surgeon was making steady progress and reducing the pile, until there was a knock at the door, her eyes momentarily glancing up not being able to see who it was through the narrowed blinds.  
"Yes?" eyes on what she was writing.  
"Auntie Serena can I speak to you about something?" Jason asked, stepping into the office, standing in the doorway, looking to his Auntie.  
"Of course you can, come in and take a seat" she replied, smiling at him, waiting for him to sit down and then start speaking.  
"You know when you hug someone, it's because you like them isn't it?".  
"Yes it is, like you can hug members of your family and your friends because you're close to them".  
Jason nodded as she spoke, her eyes not moving from him.  
"What about if the hugs are long ones and they're not your friends, does this make them different?".  
Serena frowned at this question, not quite sure where the young man was going with the conversation.  
"Well, usually people don't give long hugs to people they don't really know and people who aren't their friends, Jason, why do you ask?" her pen having been discarded on the desk, turning fully to him in her chair.

 

"Last night as I was leaving to come home after my shift had finished, I'd collected my belongings and was walking out of AAU and as I turned the corner I just saw Bernie hugging that new lady who has come to work on AAU, it was a long hug and they were very close, just like when you and Bernie hug, that close, but they're not friends so I didn't understand that's all, it seemed strange to me that she would do that" came the matter of fact reply, followed by a shrug.  
Ok now I'm confused and curious as to Bernie hugging someone, long hugging someone.  
"New lady, which new lady would this be Jason?".  
"You know Lily, the new doctor who has come down from Keller".  
"Bernie was hugging Lily?" asked the brunette, to confirm what he was saying.  
"Yes that's right they were hugging, I came out of the ward and saw them hugging each other, just like you and Bernie do when you're at home" he nodded, noting Serena's expression asking her."Are you alright Auntie Serena?" frowning at the strange look that had ghosted across the brunette's face, trying to decide if she was angry, sad, thinking, tired or a mixture of them all.  
Alright, alright.  
No I'm not.  
I'm not alright at all.  
Far from it.  
What part of this revelation is alright.  
None of it.  
Of all the people to see this it had to be Jason.  
He saw it with his own eyes.  
Saw the two of them.  
Together.  
Hugging.  
Hugging each other.  
Close.  
Game face back on, smile back on Serena.  
"Yes I'm fine Jason, I'm just fine, thank you for asking" she wasn't feeling fine but she wasn't going to say that to him.  
She was sure though that she had someone else to ask about what exactly her nephew had seen.  
That conversation getting to the heart of the matter about what he'd seen and what in the holy hell was going on exactly.  
There was only one person she wanted to get her hands on at the moment in a room alone.  
That person being Bernie Wolfe.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double update because you're all a wonderful bunch of legends! :D <3

"Well that took longer than expected" mumbled a relieved Bernie as she came back into the office after surgery, sitting down in her chair with a sigh.  
"So it seems" Serena's reply was to the point and did Bernie detect a hint of bluntness in the brunette's tone.  
Bernie frowned at the response, immediately sensing something uneasy about the woman across from her.  
"Yes it does, is everything alright Serena?".  
"I don't know, I was hoping you'd be answering that question for me?" brown eyes looking to the blonde as she spoke, ceasing typing.  
Bernie frowned deeper.  
"Erm...ok, why would that be a question I need to answer?"  
Serena shook her head and scoffed.

 

"Jason was in here whilst you were in surgery, came to ask me a question about hugging.." she started, not moving from looking straight at her girlfriend.  
"Ok.." the blonde's face still with a frown as she listened.  
"And the reason he'd asked this particular question is because he'd seen someone hugging someone else, but not just a hug, apparently it was a long hug..."  
Bernie said nothing as the brunette continued, trying to get to the actual heart of the matter.  
"This long hug was between two people, one of these people being Lily Kurtz and the other...the other was you Bernie" brown eyes fixed with on Bernie's face waiting for her reply.  
"Alright and this has caused this much of a problem because..." not sure what point Serena was trying to make.  
"What do you mean why has it caused a problem, you were hugging her, more than a friendly hug in the eyes of my nephew the other night after work, care to explain why he'd be saying this had this not been what he'd actually seen!" her tone rising that bit more.  
"There's no need to raise your voice Serena, yeah he probably did see me hugging her, the girl was upset and I wanted to try and comfort her, that's it".  
Serena shook her head not quite convinced.  
"That's it, she was upset so you decided to have a rather long hug with one of the junior doctors?!".  
"Hang on a minute, I don't think I like where this tone of conversation is going, one of the junior doctors under our care might I add was upset after a shift, I happened to see her at this time and thought I'd see if she was ok and then comfort her!" now it was the blonde's turn to start raising her voice.  
"Is there a particular reason why you chose to comfort her or be there at that moment she'd got upset like she had, of all the people you could have comforted it had to be the one person who is under our watch at the moment..." her words being cut short by Bernie getting up off her chair and interrupting.

 

"Stop! Just stop this now! All of this is ridiculous and totally un necessary, for god's sake, I'm not having this again, the girl was upset and I saw that she was, so instead of just ignoring her or whatever I stopped to check her welfare. On seeing her rather distressed and crying, I stayed with her for a while and in this time I hugged her, hugged her because she was upset, isn't that what you do Serena! Maybe I shouldn't have done, maybe I should have just left her, left her there crying on her own eh?!" Bernie's hands clenched at her sides now she'd gotten to her feet, her eyes shining with upset and anger, tension evident in her jaw.  
"That's it you bring up last time and how awful I was to you and how now I'm being totally over the top because my partner was seen hugging one of the junior doctors, that it's all my fault for being paranoid, but it wasn't just hugging but a long, lingering hug, bit different to a normal comforting one you'd give someone that was your friend. She's a junior doctor, a young, attractive junior doctor, she can't be older than what 24!" the brunette now on her feet, the gap between them in the office now not separated by the desks anymore, eyes glaring straight at the other like opponents in a dual.  
Here we go again bringing up other women, I thought we'd been through this once before,but now round two of the same woman!  
"24,34 I don't really care how old she is! Fucking hell Serena the girl was upset so I stopped to offer some form of comfort and this happened to be a hug, a comforting hug that Jason saw. I seem to recall you do the same for other people when they've been upset, have you just left them, no you bloody haven't, you've taken the time to check they're ok and offer words of comfort and sometimes you've hugged them because that's what you do. Well you know what that's exactly what I've done and for some strange reason because I've done it all of a sudden it's been blown up into...into, well I'm not quite sure what it's been blown into or what I might be being insinuated here. But I'll tell you, if you are thinking something I'd rather know now, or if you don't trust me for some reason unbeknown to me then I'd rather know that too, so I can at least defend myself like I'm doing here now, for something totally innocent..." her chest starting to heave, not moving the glare she'd fixed on her girlfriend, her mouth having become dry since the start of this whole discussion that had now erupted into something bigger in the office.  
"They've not been junior doctors Bernie..." the brunette's own breathing having quickened up considerably, her heart too, her own mouth dry as the situation heated up.

 

"You know what, I'm not doing this, I refuse to be drawn into this pointless discussion. I said after Kiev that I'd changed and I have, part of me changing was learning and trying to be more emotionally open and express my feelings. It seems part of this for me is being more tactile in general and this happens to be hugs, which I wasn't one for before, this is what happened when I saw Lily, I comforted her in this way because I thought it appropriate and you know what it worked, she calmed down and felt better, end of. But no you don't believe me, who you know everything about, you make wild assumptions based on your past and what the men in that past have done to you, guess what I'm not them and would never do that to you. As I said I'm not doing this Serena" her tone calm and collected, looking to the clock on the wall, collecting her coat and bag, not bothering to turn her computer off and leaving the brunette sat in her chair, her mind whirring.  
Sod this I'm not just not going..well wherever I'm staying tonight I need a bloody drink first.  
Something to calm me down, calm my head down from the shit that's just gone down in there.  
Talk about having enough for one day, that's certainly the case today.  
Sod you Serena!  
Scoffing to herself and shaking her head.  
Stuffing her hands in her pockets and pulling the collar of her coat around her neck, she made her way to her car, pausing before she got in, looking at her watch and walking away from the car, out of the car park and heading for Albie's.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, you wonderful bunch! :D

Moving through some people stood near the bar, Bernie made her way to sit on a stool at the side, slightly out of the way, ordering a neat whisky, downing the brown liquid as soon as it was put in front of her, handing over her money she paid for it and ordered another one.  
"Bad day?" came the voice from behind her, the trauma surgeon glancing to see Lily, now dressed in dark jeans and a t shirt, her short, grey military jacket over the top, blonde straight hair loose to her shoulders.  
"Hmm, oh erm....something like that" she quietly mumbled, the second drink going the same way as the first.  
"May I?" Lily asked, pointing to the free stool.  
"Feel free..." her eyes scanning for the bar tender to order another whiskey.  
Bernie looks different in her civvies.  
Bernie looks a good different in her civvies.  
Shirts suit her well.  
Saying that scrubs suit her well too.  
She's no pony tail now either.  
Her hair is loose, loose and wavy.  
It frames her face, apart from the bit that has escaped into her eyes slightly.  
Bernie looks nice in and out of work it seems.  
"Can I get you another, seems you could do with it.." she offered softly, smiling at Bernie.  
"Oh erm...erm..thank you.." pushing the empty glass away, sliding her phone from her pocket and sighing when she saw an empty screen, with no messages and or missed calls.  
"There you go" putting the drink in front of Bernie, taking a sip from her bottle of beer, watching as Bernie glanced to her, smiling at the trauma surgeon.  
"Thank you" Bernie replied, smiling a small half smile at Lily.  
"If you wanted to talk or anything I've been told I'm a good listener, no pressure or anything, I'd never pry or force you too obviously" trying not to seem nosey to one of the senior surgeons she was working under at the moment, her eyes dipping to the bar.  
Lily that's enough, don't embarrass yourself, god.

 

"That's kind of you" seeing the young woman avert her gaze.  
"Anyway, sorry if I disturbed you, I'll leave you in peace" inching to climb off the stool.  
Bernie watched her going to move.  
"Don't be silly, stay and at least finish your drink..." watching as the young woman turned back to her, nodding and then climbing back on the stool, a soft smile creeping over her features.  
"Ok" Lily mumbled, settling herself back at the bar.  
Nearly embarrassed yourself totally there.  
Luckily she seems happy enough to spend time with me.  
Let's be cooler now yeah Lil?  
"Sorry it's just been one of those days" trying to at least explain her low mood in front of the junior doctor.  
Lily nodded. "We can all have them, part and parcel of working in the profession we do" taking another mouthful of her beer.  
"Oh yes, the NHS keeps us on our toes in every aspect, never a dull moment" Bernie replied taking a sip of whiskey.  
"Definitely not, we get them from all walks of life, a wide array of people from the delightful multi coloured mad spectrum" this comment being met with a stifled chuckle from the trauma surgeon, much to the delight of Lily.  
Lily couldn't help but smile that little bit wider at the sound, liking the fact she'd been the cause of it.  
She looks so much better when she smiles, as opposed to having that sad look on her face.  
She's rather attractive to say the very least.  
I thought this when I first saw her one of the first times I had to make a trip down to AAU to ask for some advice.  
Had heard her name about on Keller but by god the face with the name, when I got that glimpse of it that day.  
By the god.  
The face with the voice, with the figure.  
She's got it all going on.  
All of it going on.

 

Over the next hour or so they dissolved into general conversation, firstly about how Lily came to join Holby and how long she'd been working here, how she'd gotten into medicine in the first place, what her dreams for her future were and how she was finding the experience so far, was there things or areas she preferred more than others.  
Bernie for her part was more than happy to ask questions, to get to know the young woman who was working under her at the moment more, thinking it'd be beneficial to them both in the coming weeks or months of her on AAU.  
Rather know lots about her seen as she's on the ward with me, better than knowing nothing about the girl.  
She's a promising young doctor, bright, full of energy, smart.  
She could go very far.  
Lily being mindful of Bernie being her superior, was being careful about asking too many questions and not wanting to appear too forthcoming, keeping it to similar questions about Bernie's time in the army, how she'd come to be there and then her move from the battlefield into the world of running an AAU, trying not to pry too much in topics of a personal nature.  
"And that is how I came to be in Holby" Bernie finished, the rest of her whisky in her glass emptying too, smiling across at Lily.  
"Woah, what a story you've got Bernie, such an inspiring tale, just like you're an inspiration yourself, if I can be half as good a doctor as you are then I'll have done alright" smiled the young woman, her own second bottle of beer having been finished.  
Bernie glanced at her glass, averting her gaze shyly, a shy smile playing on her lips at the same time.  
Lily smirked softly to herself at the shyness she'd caught on the face of the trauma surgeon, both of them glancing towards the sound of the bell behind the bar being rung for last orders.  
"I'd say that was our cue that it's time to go home" Bernie said, Lily nodding in agreement, the pair of them getting up off their stools, pulling on their coats, bags over shoulders, walking side by side heading for the main door, the opposite outside of their hands brushing together momentarily with the motion of their arms as they walked, both looking to the other at the sensation, pausing at the door to button their coats up against the chill of the night air.

 

"Thank you for your company tonight and not telling me to get lost" Lily mumbled, looking at the woman beside her.  
Bernie smiled softly.  
She had manners this young woman.  
Rather disarming she was.  
Not in your face or aggressive.  
A confidence to her.  
It was a nice confidence.  
"I wouldn't have said that, thank you for your company too, be safe going home ok?" genuine in her answer, she had enjoyed Lily's company.  
"I will, you too Bernie, take care" both of them exchanging smiles again before the young woman walked out into the cool night air, across the car park and disappeared into the darkness.  
She cares too, telling me to take care and I know she genuinely means it.  
She's nice.  
Watching her until she was out of view, Bernie breathed out into the night air, her breath visible for a brief second, her hand half pulling her phone out of her pocket but pushing it back down and not bothering to look at the screen, not being bothered at that moment in time, scoffing into the dark of the car park, she shook her head no to herself, making sure her buttons were all done up on her coat.  
Now Wolfe somewhere to stay for the night seen as you've still got a blank phone screen staring back at you.  
I'm not texting or anything first.  
I've done nothing wrong.  
Sod you.  
This time it isn't my fault  
Therefore I'm putting my foot down.  
Firmly down.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you guys enough for your continued support of my fic and the awesome comments you leave me, thank you so much! :D <3

Tense.  
Tense and awkward.  
Like two armies taking up positions on the battlefield and digging in.  
Digging in and not moving.  
This is what the atmosphere in AAU suddenly felt like.  
Gone were the stolen glances, the brushed fleeting touches, the shoulder nudges, double meaning comments.  
Replacing them were clipped answers, no looks at the other unless it was absolutely necessary, awkward exchanges across the ward and in theatre, silence in the office or at the nurse's station, sighs and huffs towards their opposite number if they didn't approve of certain decisions or they felt they'd had their nose pushed out by something the other had done.  
It had gone from one extreme to the other.  
Blistering hot to freezing cold.  
From double teaming to solos.  
From being madly in love to not even speaking to one another.  
And everyone seemed to be noticing it.

 

"What is going on with them two, they've suddenly done a three sixty" mumbled Fletch to Raf at the nurse's station, the pair of them looking to make sure neither surgeon was in ear shot of their conversation.  
"I've not a clue, but it must be something rather big to cause this amount of aggro" shrugged Raf looking between the two leads, Serena in the office and Bernie out on the ward.  
"Well I think you need to have a word with Serena or something, because I'm not sure how much more of this tension and atmosphere I can cope with, it's been going on since early yesterday and I've had enough, the other staff too, it's bloody ridiculous" grumbled Fletch, getting to his feet after using the computer, going back to his patient.  
Raf sighed as Fletch left, glancing between the office and the ward, muttering some instructions to a nurse for some tests for a patient under his care, making his way to the office and knocking on the door.  
Hear goes nothing Raf.  
"Yes?".  
"Erm...Serena can I have a word please" stepping into the office and shutting the door behind him, this question bringing Serena's eyes from her work and to her colleague.  
"Go on.." she encouraged, watching him sit on one of the chairs near the window.  
Raf took time to pause and take a breath before he spoke.  
"Has something happened between you and Bernie, the reason I ask is that for the past day and a half the atmosphere in here has been well....not what it was.." choosing words carefully before continuing aware of the brunette's eyes on him.  
"It's been well...bad if I'm honest and I've become aware of how it's affecting not just me, but the rest of the staff too and I don't want that spreading down to the patients seen as they're the priority here" waiting for a reply.  
Serena sighed, looking away and thinking, after a few minutes she turned back to Raf.  
"We've had a row and she's not been back to the house since that morning, she's staying elsewhere, I assume in a hotel or temporary apartment or something".  
"A row, it must have been a big one for her to have temporarily moved out?" he wasn't one for prying usually but he was close to Serena and knew she would let him ask her.  
The brunette flared her nostrils a bit, pursing her lips.  
"Jason...Jason saw her hugging Lily, but not just a hug, he said it was a long hug".  
Raf frowned at the reply.  
"Lily, as in Lily Kurtz, Lily?".  
She nodded to him. "Yes".

 

"I'm not sure I'm following, Jason saw Bernie hugging Lily and because of this she's not living at home at the moment and you're both stalemating the other at work? There has to be more to it than this, more to this argument" his mind processing the information he'd just been told.  
"Did you think there was more to it?".  
Catching the eye of his colleague, Serena glanced away toying with her pen, silent.  
"Serena?".  
Serena sighed, looking towards him.  
"I don't know ok, the way Jason described it sounded like there was, he said it was a long lingering type of hug between them both, and you don't just give those hugs out in normal situations, even I know that, so when he said that to me and Bernie didn't deny hugging her..." not finishing what she was saying before Raf stepped in.  
"You can't actually be serious, Bernie...with Lily? Why would Bernie be doing anything else with Lily apart from actually hugging her like she said, did she say why she was hugging her?"  
"Apparently that night she was leaving working late and Lily was crying or something, so she stopped to comfort her. Raf, since when has Bernie been a hugging type of person, she hasn't, so when she said that, as well as what Jason told me, well can you blame me for thinking what I did?!" trying to explain her actions.  
Raf sighed and shook his head at the whole event.  
"Serena when Bernie left and went to Kiev you were upset to say the least, I'd never seen you like that before, not even when what happened with Edward happened, but with her it really effected you. Then as soon as she came back and you sorted things out and since then she's changed you, changed you for the better, you're happier, happier than I've ever seen you as is she. She told you she'd changed and why do those changes just stop with your relationship and how she's changed towards that and her expression of her feelings and her feelings towards you, wouldn't that be not as good a change if it just stopped with you both. Surely a more rounded change in every aspect of her life is the best for her and with that you see and get the benefits too, as do the rest of the people around her".

 

"But why her, why did she have to hug her?!" gripping the pen in her now tightly clenched fist, gritting her teeth, eyes on her hand, her blood boiling at the image flashing across her mind of them embracing.  
He frowned at this, looking at her action, the tension, the anger.  
"What do you mean, why her, am I missing something else here Serena?" not quite following along with her words.  
"Of all the people to hug it had to be her, had to be Lily bloody Kurtz! The young woman I'd seen well eyeing up I'd call it, Bernie a month or so ago when she was down here to get some advice from Bernie, she was standing close to her, I mean close close, looking her up and down, smiling and laughing with her. Add to the fact that Lily is a lesbian too".  
"And what does the fact she's gay matter. Serena, Bernie is with you, she came back to Kiev because she wanted you, no one else, you. The way she's been around you all these months you can tell she loves the bones of you, she's always looking at you when you're working, the little smiles, glances, touches, she's crazy about you. So what if Lily is giving her the eye, isn't it something to be proud of, proud that other women find her attractive but she loves you, you can't stop anyone looking, just as I'm sure other women look at you, you just don't see it" raising his eyebrows to Serena.  
The vascular surgeon sighed and shook her head, breaking her gaze from his and shaking her head again, not answering, taking in what he'd said.  
"You do know if you keep this up you'll push her away, a person can only take so much and no matter how much they love someone they have limits, limits that they then reach and can't take anymore. You'll push her away and maybe yeah she will be driven into the arms of the likes of Lily, someone who isn't in a roundabout way accusing her, making assumptions, not trusting her because of their own....insecurities" the last word making Serena snap her head up to look him.  
"Insecurities?".

 

He nodded at her answer. "Yeah, them, is it to do with the incident on the roof maybe? Maybe there's something that's lingered without you fully knowing and it's raising its head this way, in regards to Bernie. You were afraid you'd never see her again at that particular time after she'd not long got back from Kiev after leaving, maybe you're afraid of losing her again because things are going so well now?".  
The brunette swallowed at his statement, the realisation starting to sink in, brown eyes staying with Raf's eyes.  
The roof was a while ago.  
I'd gotten over that hadn't I?  
Or at least I thought I had.  
But now here Raf is bringing it up again.  
Saying maybe this whole incident is something I'm to blame for.  
"You're saying this is my fault?".  
Pausing before his reply, he then gave a nod in confirmation of her question.  
"I think it might be yeah, because you don't know she's actually done anything wrong, all she's done is get along well with someone who might fancy her, this information she hasn't a clue about and comfort this person because they were upset. Yet the situation now has been well, made into and become this" raising his eyebrows a little.  
"Jason said it was a long hug though...".  
"And what if it was, maybe she was really upset and Bernie wanted to definitely make sure she was ok. If Jason had said he'd seen them kissing or something then that's a bit different but he didn't, he saw them hugging, nothing more".  
Serena sighed and rubbed her forehead, closing her eyes.  
This is such a mess.  
My head is hurting thinking about it, let alone talking about it.  
Bloody hell fire.  
What a disaster.  
"If you want to push her away and into another woman's arms then by all means keep going, if not then I'd be checking my behaviour and maybe seeing if I needed some help myself to deal with any underlying issues I might have or be carrying without knowing consciously about them, until they get triggered and then be trying to talk to Bernie, try to explain myself, help her understand" getting up from his seat when Serena opened her eyes, squeezing her shoulder comfortingly before leaving the office and shutting the door.  
Flicking her eyes between her computer and the papers on her desk, the pen still in her hand, she glanced out through the open blinds, catching sight of Bernie with Lily by her side, the pair of them exchanging words followed by laughter, the blonde surgeon unaware she was being watched.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your continued support and comments! <3

Sighing to herself Serena picked up her phone as she sat in the office scrolling to her messages to Bernie.  
Not had many of these in a while between them both.  
None at all in fact in days.  
No messages.  
No calls.  
Zero.  
Come on Campbell sort yourself.  
Looking at the time on her computer screen, she started shutting the various windows down, and then turned it off completely.  
It was already half an hour past her shift being finished, she had more than done enough for the day.  
Bernie had already been in to collect her bag and coat, Serena had seen her nip into the office whilst she was signing off a patient for discharging.  
Yes she had a knack of looking up and knowing when Bernie Wolfe was nearby.  
Collecting her own coat and bag she headed out of the office and the ward, taking the lift down to the main entrance, pausing to the side of the doors, typing out a message.  
__**Bernie, Please can we talk, I need to talk to you? x**  
Sending it and making her way out the doors, heading to her car and getting in, sitting in the driver's seat, looking at her phone screen.  
Still she sat, having now put the phone on her knee, gazing out of the window, not at anything in particular just absentmindedly looking.  
Then a noise.  
A noise from her knee.  
Her phone.  
She'd got a message.  
Picking her phone up her heart leapt.  
It was from Bernie.  
__**Ok, where? When?**  
Serena swallowed before typing back her answer.  
__**Are you free tonight? How about that little wine bar in town down the side street? x**  
Sending it she waited for the reply with baited breath.  
_**Yes that's fine, meet there in half an hour?** _    
Come on Serena just reply and then you can set off, she's agreed to meet you like you wanted.  
She typed her reply.  
__**Sounds good, see you then x**  
Putting her phone in the centre console she put her seat belt on and started her car, pulling out of her space and out of the car park heading into town.  
  


 

After parking up in town, not far from the bar, Serena walked the short distance to the place they'd arranged to meet, pausing at the front door and taking a deep breath, taking hold of the large wooden door handle and pulling it open, stepping inside, glancing around into the steady but calm hum of the other few people who already were in the bar, eyes searching for the one person she wanted to see, her eyes finding her quickly, there she was, that tousle of blonde hair seated at a quiet table in the corner, looking at her watch.  
Straightening up, Serena made her way over, pausing at the side of the table, her eyes finding the hazel ones that looked up at her.  
"Evening" Bernie mumbled.  
"Evening to you" Serena replied, slipping her coat from her shoulders onto the back of the chair, sliding into the seat across from the blonde.  
"So.." was the comment that once again broke the silence between them coming from the blonde, looking straight at the brunette.  
Serena took a pause looking back to her partner.  
"Bernie I...what happened the other night, in the office..".  
"What you mean when you all but accused me, or when you starting shouting the odds?" was the blunt reply.  
"Yes that, well no I mean not just that, I mean...all of it, all of what was said. It all got out of hand, what I said got out of hand..".  
"Yes it did.." Bernie interrupted again.  
"Please, can you just let me speak, please?" trying to get some saliva in her dry mouth to enable her to speak, quickly ordering a drink from the waiter who passed by their table, Bernie doing the same when he looked at her.  
The blonde raised her eyebrows and motioned for her to continue.  
When their drinks arrived shortly after she quickly took a sip of the claret liquid, her eyes settling back on Bernie's.  
"What happened, what I said, I shouldn't have done, it got out of hand, I was wrong, I'm sorry Bernie.." her tone soft and sad.  
"You properly let rip at me Serena, came at me out of nowhere and for what, nothing, regardless of what I was saying to you, you still weren't for hearing it" keeping her own tone calm but trying to get across her point.  
Serena sighed. "I know, it's just because of what Jason saw and told me, I...I jumped to conclusions, assumed, I got jealous...saw red...I shouldn't have" another sip from her glass. It was now the blonde's turn to take a sip of her wine, replacing the glass back on the table.  
"So what's changed?".  
"I've actually realised what I've said, said to you and thought in my own head, Raf might have hammered the message home a bit too.." sheepishly looking down at her glass. "Raf?" frowned Bernie.  
"Yeah" looking back to the blonde." He came into the office to find out why there was tension and atmosphere between us, apparently it's not just him and Fletch who've noticed, most people have. So I told him what had happened, he asked...well told me in no uncertain terms I was in the wrong, that if I carried on I would push you away, push you that far away you might not..not come back" her voice carrying a slight tremble at the last few words.  
  
  
  
Bernie sighed and shook her head. "I don't want this Serena, don't want this tension, this animosity between us, this, this...frustration, all this upset, but I can't deal with what happened the other day, I can't, being accused of something like that and then despite me telling you what happened, to have you still not believe me, but to believe I might be capable or actually do something like that with a junior doctor, a doctor under our care, it hurts" her hazel eyes starting to shine with upset as she spoke.  
"I know, I know, and I'm sorry, sorry that it's got to the stage it has with you staying, well wherever it is your staying at the moment, us not talking at work except for work forcing us too. Not talking or communicating properly, well not at all. Just everything, it's not what I want, I hate it Bernie, hate not coming home with or to you, you coming home with or to me, having you close to me, kisses and cuddles, holding your hand, laughing with you, everything" reaching across and grabbing her girlfriends hand.  
"What now then, what are we going to do? Because I hate this too, I hate all of it, but I can't...can't just back down and pretend like everything is normal, not until we sort something, or I at least have an understanding of where this came from so it doesn't happen again" her hand holding Serena's.  
Serena dipped her eyes to their hands, stroking Bernie's knuckles with her thumb, then looking back at Bernie.  
"I think....I think the incident the other month might have something to do with what's happened recently" seeing Bernie listening intently she continued.  
"Thinking...thinking that I might never see you again that day frightened me, it frightened me a lot, I'd only just got you back and all that could've been taken away again that day, then when I heard from Jason about the hug, I suppose it triggered that horrible feeling again, the feeling of you being taken from me, losing you. Things have been going so well for us, I've been so happy, the happiest I've ever been and this scared me, scared me that much it caused the self doubt to creep in, my insecurities flaring at hearing about the hug. I still, I still need some help in processing and dealing with the roof incident, but I...I need you too, I need your help, your support, just you being you. I love you so much and I'm so sorry for what I said, I know you were just hugging the girl because you were helping her, like you want to help everyone. It was my own insecurities that caused me to say them things, I don't want to lose you Bernie, but I understand your anger and upset and if you didn't want to be with me anymore. I just wanted to see you and talk to you, to explain what happened and to apologise in person, because that's what you deserve" her eyes filling up on finishing speaking, hearing Bernie's silence she shuffled in her seat, her face moving into her hands, trying to hide her tears and muffle her quiet whimpers.  
  
  
  
Watching the face of the brunette crease and then move to be hidden into her hands, Bernie's ears hearing the very sounds Serena was trying to hide, her heart dropped, instantly moving her chair from the opposite side of the table, to be as near to Serena as possible, not asking for permission as she drew her into her arms, holding as close as she could.  
"Hey come on it's ok, shhh" she whispered into the brunette's ear, soothingly rubbing her hand up and down her back. "I'm here, and if it helps to hear, I forgive you and I love you so much" placing a soft kiss to the side of her head, keeping Serena close to her, not wanting to let her go until she felt safe and reassured. Letting Bernie hold her for however long it had been, Serena lifted her head from the space it had been nuzzled in Bernie's neck, being met by the softly smiling hazel eyes of the other woman, giving her a teary and quivering smile, closing her eyes briefly as Bernie's thumbs brushed the tears from her cheeks, placing a soft kiss where her thumbs had been, drawing back to look at the face of the brunette again. "Start again, clean slate?" offered Bernie smiling, not moving her eyes from Serena's. Serena nodded. "Yes, please" pecking Bernie's lips, then instantly pulling her girlfriend in for a tight hug, affording a small smile on feeling the blonde's arms snake back around her body.


	36. Chapter 36

"As a piece of homework before our next session, I'd like you to write down 10 things you like about yourself, I know that sounds like a strange thing to ask you to do but it's all part of the process to help you understand and process the issues that you have within yourself due to the circumstances you've been exposed to not just recently but over the years" smiled the counsellor, passing Serena a booklet. "And this is just some extra information about the counselling itself and what it entails, an outline, hopefully it will answer any other questions you might have that we don't get the chance to cover here.  
Homework at my age.  
My age.  
Now come on Campbell you need the help and that's what this is all about.  
You need every part of it to help you, not just bits you think relevant, hence him being the counsellor and not you.  
Homework is it.  
Full commitment.  
"Thank you" Serena smiled back taking the booklet, turning it over before it went into her handbag.  
"And I'll see you next week, same time ok for you?".  
"Yes that's fine, thank you" nodded the brunette, picking up her coat and bag from beside the chair and heading out of the room.  
Sitting on one of the chairs in the corridor Bernie fiddled with her fingers, then rubbed her hands together, looking to the time on her watch.  
I hope she's ok and everything is going ok, I know she was nervous about attending, this being her first session and all, not quite knowing what to expect.  
The not knowing playing on her mind a little.  
"Got the time Major?".

 

Bernie looking up to the sound of that familiar voice, Serena smiling down at her.  
"For you I have yes" Bernie smiled, getting to her feet. "How was it?" she asked, both of them walking side by side down the corridor.  
"It was ok, he's nice, easy to talk to, he's given me some homework to do for next week".  
"Can you see it being helpful?" the both of them heading through the main doors and over to where Bernie had parked her car, stopping to open the door for Serena.  
"Yes I think so, it's focusing on the issues I need most help with" the brunette averting her eyes shyly at the sentence.  
"Don't you be dipping that face, I can't see it then can I" the blonde's hand under her chin, looking into her eyes as she leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss.  
The action caused Serena to smile against the kiss, parting from her girlfriend and getting into the passenger seat of the car, her hand finding the blonde's thigh on the driver's seat, it staying there as she drove.  
"What's this?" Serena frowned, Bernie had stopped the car in a space in the car park of a quaint country pub just out of town.  
"This Ms Campbell is an early dinner, thought it'd be nice, y'know after it being your first session and all?" taking her seat belt off.  
She's driven me to my counselling session, waited for me and now here she is taking me out for a meal.  
I'm lucky to have her.  
Lucky I still have her.  
Lucky to still have the woman I love still love me.  
Bernie Wolfe I love you.

 

"You're too good to me" leaning across to place a gentle kiss to Bernie's waiting lips.  
"Not at all, now come on, let's get some food, I don't know about you but I'm starving".  
"Nothing new there then" Serena joked, giggling at Bernie's mock look of hurt getting out of the car.  
Finding a quiet and cosy table in the corner, Bernie made her way to the bar for some drinks, leaving her girlfriend to cast her eyes over the menu.  
"Here we go" placing the drinks on the table, a large glass of Shiraz for Serena and a lemonade for herself.  
"Decided what you'd like to eat?".  
On hearing Bernie's question, Serena flashed her a wicked grin, arching her eyebrow cheekily.  
"From the menu, you've such a dirty mind Campbell" smirked the blonde, leaning forward to peck her girlfriends lips.  
After they'd picked their food and Bernie had ordered it, they sat at their table chatting happily, fingers linked together on top of the table, enjoying each other's company.  
Food brought to the table, they ate and shared it with each other, each of them clearing their plates, sitting back full from their meals.  
"That was delicious" Serena said taking a sip from the new glass of Shiraz that had made its way to the table.  
"I know you are" smirked Bernie, her turn to slip in a cheeky remark after Serena's effort before.  
The brunette giggled at the comment.  
"Behave yourself Wolfe" smiling widely but with a hint of shyness across at the blonde.  
Bernie gave her a little wink, loving that she still, after the amount of time and what had happened was able to emit that shyness from her girlfriend.  
"You love it" Bernie chuckled.  
"I love you more" Serena replied, her smile conveying all she wanted to say.  
"Nah uh" the blonde shaking her head.  
Leaning over the table Serena caught Bernie's lips in a soft kiss, smiling as they both parted, Bernie smiling too.  
"Shall we go home?" 

 

Serena nodded at the suggestion, rising from her chair at the same time as her girlfriend.  
Linking hands they made their way out of the pub, the fresh air hitting them both but not in an unpleasant way but refreshing, like it was helping to blow the cobwebs away, a fresh day for a fresh start, first counselling session done, the journey beginning.  
The brunette paused when they got out, tugging Bernie's hand gently to bring them to be standing looking out over the view of the countryside, it really was a sight to behold, especially on a clear, crisp but sunny day like today, the fields stretching out as far as the eye could see, a variety of animals dotted throughout the lush fields, hills and mountains in the background.  
With the blonde stood at her side, Serena moved them so she stood in front of the blonde, curling Bernie's arms around her hips and waist, snuggling back into her, to which the trauma surgeon responded and rested her head next to the brunette's on her shoulder.  
"What's this hmm?" she whispered into Serena's ear.  
She gave a soft shrug. "Just wanted you close to me..." her words trailing off.  
"Serena..." she started as she felt the woman in her arms shake a little, realising she had started to get upset. "What's the matter" holding her position, waiting for the brunette to speak.  
"N...Nothing" she replied, shaking her head.  
"Now come on there must be something causing this upset" Bernie challenged.

 

Serena sighed before speaking. "I just....a thought just flashed through my mind that if things had been different then we wouldn't be stood here like this, I wouldn't have you holding me, supporting me through my first session, I just..." breath catching in her throat, making it stop her speaking.  
Bernie closed her eyes for a second before opening them again.  
"Now come on, that's all over now hmm, we're here together, where we should be" nuzzling the brown hair just above her ear.  
"I...I know, I...I'm sorry, maybe it's just because I had my first session today and he starting talking about triggers and things..".  
Holding her close Bernie listened, letting her speak.  
"He made me realise that ever since the... the incident, I thought I'd been ok, that I'd gotten over it, but actually I haven't and that when the situation with Lily was put in front of me, it made me realise how much I still held onto, it triggered the emotion inside, that that day on the roof I had my life flash before my eyes, everything I had and wanted could be taken away today, even before I'd had a chance to fully enjoy it, just when I'd got you back, properly got you back. I suppose standing here with you just brought what we'd been discussing to my mind and it hit me how lucky I am that you are willing to give me another chance, again, despite what I've put you through recently".  
Bernie squeezed the woman in her arms to give that extra bit of reassurance.  
"I'm lucky to have you too, that day I could have lost you, lost you and the woman I loved, when I came back and Raf said he didn't know where you'd gone and then told me about that thug, my heart dropped, I had to find you then, that very minute, had to rescue you, I didn't care how or if I got hurt but I just had to find you. Hence me ending up on the roof and all but wrestling with him, because I didn't care about me not really, all I wanted at that very moment was you to be safe, safe out of his way and his clutches. I love you more than anything and I know this process for you won't be easy but I'll be here every step of the way, there might be tears, tantrums, tensions, from you, me, both of us, all I ask is if there's something that on your mind or something is flaring up like it has done then tell me, or tell your counsellor, please don't keep it in and let it be made into something it isn't, I don't want it to cause problems when there's no need, I don't want that between us and I don't want things like that to come between us, I don't want anything to come between us Serena" giving her girlfriend another squeeze to confirm her words and sentiment, the woman in her arms responding by snuggling back against her and closing her eyes.  
I don't want it to affect us, not like it has been doing recently.  
Anything to go back to that kind of situation.  
Have us and her in that kind of situation.  
I'm not sure what to expect and that's scary but I'm willing to go through it if it helps her.  
Helps us.  
Helps her process her feelings.  
Helps her deal with all the different emotions she's going through or harbouring.  
Makes us stronger.  
Because that's what it's all about.  
The two of us.  
The team.  
Us.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy you wonderful bunch of people! <3

Serena gave a soft squeal as she felt something touch her water laden back.  
"Need your back scrubbing Ms Campbell?" Bernie chuckled, Serena wiping the water from her eyes and seeing the culprit of her squeal, a sponge.  
"You frightened the life out of me!" she huffed, her eye brows furrowing a little.  
"In that case...maybe I should apologise..." pulling the brunette to the shower door, lips starting to apply kisses to the spot under her right ear lobe, then down to her shoulder, Serena moaning softly at the actions, these continuing while she switched to the opposite side of her neck.  
"Am I forgiven?".  
"Maybe.." Serena managed through soft moans.  
"Only maybe, if that's the case.." ceasing her kisses and moving her lips from Serena's neck.  
The brunette groaned in frustration.  
"Bernie?" she grumbled, eyelashes parting to reveal dark eyes shining with the first hints of arousal.  
"Serena?" knowing the look she was getting.  
"Please..".  
"Please what my dear?" Bernie replied.  
"Don't stop.." a hint of pleading in her voice.  
"Ah that, well until I'm forgiven that's what I've done" raising her eyebrows cheekily.  
"You're forgiven, I forgive you, please...".

 

Unable to resist the woman in front of her, the blonde stripped the underwear she was wearing quickly from her body, stepping into the shower, the brunette's back against the wall under the water, hands in hair and over skin, lips against lips, tongues wrestling tongues, the steam starting to condensate on the frosted door.  
"You're irresistible you know that.." Bernie mumbled against the heat of the shower and the breast beneath her lips, this being followed by a hand cradling the back of her head and bringing it as close into said breast as it would go from Serena, the blonde swiping the tip of her tongue over the nipple in her mouth, the woman underneath her groaning at the touch, latching her onto her other breast and this again gaining a groan.  
"N..not half as irresistible as you Wolfe.." pulling the other woman up for another bruising and deep kiss, her hands travelling the length of the blonde's torso, squeezing her bum and then cupping her breasts, thumbs brushing her nipples.  
"God.." gasped Bernie at the touch, her arousal obvious.  
"I need you.." Serena moaned as they kissed again.  
"Likewise.." Bernie moaned into her girlfriends mouth, guiding them to sit in the spacious tray at the bottom of the shower, Serena in her lap, the brunette facing forwards, her back pressing against Bernie's breasts, the blonde's back leaning against the wall away from the direct hit of the water jet, both sets of legs apart, allowing the trauma surgeon easy access as she started trailing hands up wet thighs, massaging as she went, feeling the heat and wet arousal of her girlfriend.  
God she's so hot and turned on even now, she's so wet, forget the water, I can feel her wetness.  
Serena Campbell you're such a turn on.  
Feeling the touch of a thumb and index finger working patterns around and then brush over her clit caused a groan and then a moan from the brunette, her head back with eyes closed on Bernie's shoulder, mumbling to herself when she moved her own hand between their bodies and mirrored the actions against Bernie, the blonde groaning in pleasure at the touch.  
"B...Bernie in...inside....please..." she panted, a satisfied moan on feeling two fingers filling her deliciously, these digits then starting the familiar in and out motion, finding the sweet spot inside her.

 

Fumbling between the two wet and slippery bodies, Serena wriggled a little before gaining a position on the blonde's lap so she could enter her own two fingers into the aching core of her girlfriend, Bernie instantly moaning in encouragement at how full she felt, undulating her hips onto her girlfriends hand, the brunette on her lap moving in time, both bodies working in tandem, building up a rhythm against the other, free hands roaming over flushed and slippery skin, the shower door steaming up rapidly as moans and noises of pleasure got louder and increased in frequency, hearing these driving both women on in order to help their girlfriend reach that high they loved so much with each other.  
With the warm water of the shower dripping down their bodies, the speed of their hands and movements, the brunette's hips bucking into the air in front of her, but making contact with her girlfriend when she moved the opposite way, the friction being felt by the blonde, both women starting panting rapidly.  
"I...I'm going to..." came Serena's staggered words.  
"Me...me too..come..with.." Bernie replied, the vascular surgeon nodding to confirm her answer, both warm and wet centres constricting the fingers inside them, pulsating as they released their climaxes onto the others hand.  
Then the feelings started again for Serena, the blonde resuming her in and out motion with her fingers, the brunette's gasps and moans restarting, feeling herself building again.  
Oh my god I've never done this before, never multiple orgasms with anyone.  
But with her, bloody hell, I can't get enough and neither can my body.  
As is evident now.

 

"Shit...Bernie!" this all she could vocalise before she was hit with the wave again, the wave that made her body tighten, her core contract, her back arch and the moans of pleasure flow from her lips.  
The blonde groaned against her girlfriends neck, holding the panting frame against her own water beaded and flushed torso.  
"W...wow.." Serena managed after catching her breath.  
Bernie chuckled. "Wow yourself...I might have to creep up on you in the shower more often" she joked.  
"If this is what happens when you do then be my guest" turning her head so that they could share a tender kiss, snuggling back against her girlfriend, linking their fingers.  
Feeling their bodies get cold and their backs start to complain at being in the positions they were, Serena lifted herself to her feet, helping Bernie to hers, guiding the trauma surgeon under the warm water of the shower head, sharing the shower gel they took it turns to wash the other, rising the bubbles from the body of the other woman.  
Serena stepping out first, wrapping herself in one of the fluffy bath sheets, opening the other one for Bernie to step into, embracing the blonde as she did.  
"That's a first for me" pulling back so she could see the woman she was talking to. "I've never had more than one before".  
"Oh really" winked Bernie, unable to help herself, a small smug look on her face.  
"Yes really, smug sod" Serena replied, giggling at the blonde's expression.  
"When you get to be able to do that to your beautiful, sexy girlfriend, can't be blamed for being smug really can you" Bernie replied, her arms keeping Serena close.  
"You're very good at it, the best in fact" she grinned, it now being her turn to wink at the hazel eyes looking back at her.  
"I'll definitely take that" pressing her lips to Serena's, pulling the curves of the towel wrapped brunette against her torso. "God you're sexy".  
"You more so" Serena breathed in between kisses.

 

"Nuh uh" said Bernie shaking head, gasping as she was pushed against the bathroom wall, towel ripped off and throw to the side, Serena dropping to her knees, a leg of the blonde's over her shoulder, immediately flicking her tongue over the diamond hard clit that was standing to attention, taking some of the blonde's glistening arousal with her, Bernie crying out at the sensation, fingers winding into brown locks, hips working with the rhythm that was being set for them, moaning on feeling fingers filling her again, her slippery walls already closing around the stiff digits rubbing against them, the fast speed adding to her arousal.  
Moaning increased in volume, breathing ragged, the air being filled with incoherent sounds and noises, no time for either of them to speak, the blonde under her tongue shaking and then tensing, crying out her girlfriends name in ecstasy, her body going limp only being held up due to leaning against the wall and the woman below her supporting one of her legs.  
"Fucking hell.." when she'd managed to get enough breath back to speak, giggles filling the air, lips kissing her inner thighs a final couple of times and then her eyes being face to face by a familiar dark brown pair, Bernie shaking her head whilst smiling, drawing Serena to her for a grateful and loving hug.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your comments and support mean so much, thank you for them all! :D

Bustling.  
Bustling and hectic.  
Just another joyful day in the life of the AAU.  
Patients coming thick and fast through the doors, the red phone ringing and then the scattering of bodies in blue scrubs as everyone got to their posts to prepare for the incoming cases, words being passed between colleagues, instructions and decisions quickly made, positions taken, the well drilled AAU army.  
With another patient being discharged, Bernie took her chance to nip out and get a coffee for both her and Serena, the vascular surgeon not long out of surgery and now getting changed, she too looking like she could do with the caffeine, the night shift ahead seeming like a long one for them both and the other staff.  
A prisoner from the local jail had been brought in a few hours ago and had been seen originally by one of the doctors, since Bernie and Serena were already busy with other cases, after ordering some blood tests he was informed that when these came back they'd be looked at to determine the next step in his treatment, leaving him with his accompanying prison guard, letting them both know who he was and what treatment he'd received so far so they were both up to date.

 

"Jeez, will it ever stop" the blonde coming into the office, closing the door behind her and planting herself down in her chair, taking a breath, her eyes wandering to the brunette on the opposite side of the room.  
"Oh no, not tonight, I think it's definitely going to be one of those night shifts Major" Serena finishing off one more piece of paperwork, draining the rest of her coffee from Pulses and getting to her feet, grabbing a quick kiss from the trauma surgeon before hearing her name being called on the ward, the patter of feet and the door opening, bringing a nurse to her asking questions about a patient of hers.  
"Let's go and see shall we.." was the calm reply that followed, flashing Bernie a smile, and then making her way back to the ward.  
Oh my god this definitely is one of those nights, I've not stopped.  
Thank god that guy from the local nick is behaving and has a prison guard with him.  
That's something we don't need is criminals causing us more problems by not co operating.  
No we definitely don't want any of that.  
I'm so not in the mood for it.  
Not in the slightest.

 

Resting her head back on the chair she closed her eyes, affording her a few moments of peace of quiet without someone calling her name, wanting something checking, signing, or dealing with, the various pieces of equipment going off also wanting her attention or warranting her to call on someone else to still the noise they were making.  
Deep breaths Wolfe it's just one of those crazy shifts, nothing you've not done before.  
I swear to god sometimes I think that it was quieter in Afghanistan on the front line dealing with the noises of battle compared to the shifts we work on in here.  
Gunfire and helicopter air strikes seem somewhat tranquil in comparison to shouting, unruly patients, the ringing of the red phone and general chaos that can be a mad shift on AAU.  
Then the knock at the door forcing Bernie to open her eyes, followed by her name.  
I'm going to start changing my name one of these days.  
"Yes?".  
"The prisoner in the side room, I've forgotten his name, but his test results are back and you said to let you know when they were.." one of the young doctors replied.  
"Yes, thank you, I'll come now" she replied, also draining the last of her coffee, taking a breath and heading out on the ward.  
Out into the bloody battlefield more like.  
Now Wolfe come on, less of that.  
It needs doing, no matter how much you dislike nights.

 

Introducing herself to the man in the side room, she took the ipad from the young woman doctor beside her, looking over the results and explaining to him that she wasn't quite sure from the tests they'd done what the root cause of his problem was and that they'd have to take a more in depth look using other blood tests and maybe a MRI scan after this to fully determine the cause from him, with a smile to the patient she turned back to the doctor and ordered the blood tests she required to help her, using the gel at the end of his bed on her hands and leaving the room, closing the door behind her.  
Considering the amount of patients that needed blood tests on a daily basis it didn't surprise Bernie when they informed her it might take a while, passing the message onto the doctor dealing with the patient.  
While with another patient a few hours later out on the ward, Serena having been in surgery for a few hours, it being an emergency case that wouldn't wait, Bernie's head snapped up from reading the notes she'd been given on hearing her name being shouted followed by running footsteps across the ward, an F1 frantic, the trauma surgeon not able to make out what she was trying to tell her.  
"Hang on, now let's calm down and try that again, I can't tell a word you're trying to tell me" passing the notes to a nurse along with the patient care.  
The F1 took a couple of deep breaths before trying again.  
"You've got to come quick, it's Millie, that prisoner, he's...he's...he's knocked out the guard in there and he's got Millie cornered, she was trying to take more bloods from him and then he flipped, said she was hurting him, that she wasn't doing it right, next thing the guard was trying to get him to calm down and he flew into an even bigger rage, knocked him clean out, then turned on Millie, she's so frightened, he won't let her go, he's held her in the room with him..." her eyes wide with fear as she relayed the story to the blonde surgeon, Bernie running across the ward to the side room, hearing the screams and protests of the young doctor on the other side of the door, peering through the plain glass in the door panel she saw her, the man towering over her in the corner, shouting and waving his arms, back to the door.

 

Think Bernie think, you've got to get her out of there.  
Get her out of there and then subdue him.  
To stop him  
As if he's cornered a young girl.  
How dare he when she's trying to help him!  
"Right listen to me, you go and get security now, and tell nurse Fletcher to ring the police and then to ring the prison, tell him we need them here asap!" the young woman dashing off to do as instructed.  
Right now what, her eyes quickly assessing the situation.  
Where Millie was, where the guard lay and where the prisoner was.  
How to approach this, approach him, get Millie free?  
Come on Wolfe.  
Come on.  
You can sort this.  
You were in situations just like this.  
Battle situations.  
Now come on!

 

After a quick weighing up of her options she stepped towards the door, another look in the room and another pause, trying to steady her breathing, feeling her heart pounding in her chest, she knew she had to do something, go in and try to help Millie, she couldn't do that out here, so what option did she have.  
Come on Wolfe, deep breath.  
Focus.  
Try to calm down, you're doing this for her, to help her.  
A final deep breath and she pushed the door again, this time further, it giving a squeak as she did, enough room for her body to get in there, in there and straight over to him.  
This had to be done.  
It was her job.  
It was her duty.  
She just had to.


	39. Chapter 39

"Ms Campbell you've got to come quick it's Ms Wolfe!" shouted the F1 running towards the brunette who'd appeared back into the ward after changing out of her scrubs.  
Serena frowned at the reaction of the young woman.  
"What's Ms Wolfe, what are you talking about?" still not understanding what had happened.  
"She's in the room with that prisoner, he started attacking his guard and then he started attacking Millie so I told Ms Wolfe and she came to the room, told me to get nurse Fletcher to ring the police and for me to get security and I did and the security are here and the police are on their way, but she's gone into the room to try to help Millie!" all came out in a rush, the words very close together without much breathing on the girls part.  
The brunette's eyes widened at the revelation, dashing to the room in question, being met by chaos, shouting from the prisoner in question, the security guards wrestling with him, a man on either side, combined with clattering of equipment and medical tools, hitting the floor and being launched around the room in equal measures.  
Looking at the sight in front of her she searched for Bernie, pushing into the room.  
Where is she?  
Is she ok?  
Is she hurt?

 

Glancing to the floor she got her answer.  
The blonde trauma surgeon was on her back, out cold, her scrubs torn at various places, blood on them too.  
"Bernie....Bernie, can I have some help in here please?!" she shouted, the security men having managed to restrain the prisoner, allowing them to move him into the corner of the room and let the other medical staff in to assist.  
"Come on, come on.." she mumbled to the other woman, on her knees checking frantically for injuries, turning to see Millie move towards her.  
"He...he, she tried to stop him, wrestle almost with him but she couldn't, he was too strong, he grabbed her and threw her across the room, then turned back to me, her back and head took the force of the impact..." her breathing being taken over by sobs, another member of the team taking her to treat her.  
The next thing the vascular surgeon knew was a flurry of activity in the room, doctors and nurses coming in and out, carefully assessing and then attaching a spine board behind the back of Bernie, drips and IV's being talked about, then a collective effort in getting her onto a trolley, wheeling her out of the room, other team members sorting the prison guard who was now conscious and sitting up.  
"I want to.." she started, being stopped by Raf as they moved to the AAU doors.  
"You can't Serena, you need to stay here, we've got her..".  
"But...but what's her diagnosis? What's happened to her?" she asked, she wanted to know, had to know.  
"We're not sure yet, we think she might have some kind of spinal injury, something going on with her back, the same for her head because of the way she was thrown against the wall, the force of her impact, we're going to CT scan her and find out what exactly is going on, she's in the best hands.." giving her a small smile and then leaving the ward following the trolley.  
Spinal, head injury.  
She's already had a spine injury all them months ago and then it was touch and go.  
What if it's the same now, what if this is fatal, has triggered something.  
What if it's affected her head, her brain, effected her, effected Bernie, then what?  
What if she's never the same, what if she doesn't come round.  
What if that's it, she's gone.  
Then what?

 

A cry left her lips on realising what might happen to the other woman, clamping her hand to her mouth she rushed into her office and shut the door, sinking down into her chair, her head going into her hands, closing her eyes, mind whirring with thoughts.  
Not quite sure how long she'd be sat like that, her head snapping up as she heard the door open, Raf stepping into the office and closing it behind him, coming to stand next to the desks.  
"H..How is she?" searching his face for an answer, a sign.  
Raf took a breath before answering.  
"It's not good, the force of the impact has caused a bleed on her brain, it's of a medium size, her spine is fine just bruised but it's the bleed that the major injury, she's going into surgery in the next few minutes for emergency surgery, the surgeon wants to try and alleviate the pressure as soon as possible because he said he doesn't want to leave it any longer for obvious reasons. It's serious, serious as could be if I'm honest, I don't....I don't want to lie to you Serena, I couldn't do that...I..I just want you to know that the next few hours and days are critical, time is critical and she might, in the worst case scenario not make it, which we all hope doesn't happen obviously. I'm sorry I can't bring you better news" watching the woman in front of him stare straight at him, not saying anything for a few moments. "If there's any more news I'll let you know as soon as I find out, but for now there's not much any of us can do, that's in the hands of the surgeon...I better...I better get back to it" giving the brunette a squeeze on her shoulder and then a quick hug, leaving the office heading back to the ward.  
Sat in her chair, Serena was unable to speak, to think, to even feel.  
Her mind trying to convey all that had been said to her, the endless possibilities flying through her brain, without a word she was up and out of the office, straight through the doors and to the lift, gasping for breath as she pressed the button, luckily it was empty stepping inside and pressing the button to get her to the top floor of the hospital.  
Ping.  
She was here.  
Quickly out and to the door.  
The door to the roof.

 

Feeling the air hit her she gasped.  
Gasped the fresh air.  
Grabbing for it, needing it.  
Her heart and head pounding.  
"You can't leave me Bernie, you can't!" she part wailed part screamed into the open space above the hospital, sinking to lean against the generator on the roof, her eyes streaming with tears, struggling to catch her breath.  
She can't leave me, she just can't.  
Not now, not this way, just no!  
You're ex army, a Major, you're strong and you need to come through this, come through it for everyone.  
Banging a fist on the cool metal, she did it again and again.  
Another wail leaving her lips in tandem with the action.  
With her legs giving up under her she sank to sit on the floor, her breath shuddering on her crying starting to lessen, allowing herself to open her eyes, cheeks wet with tears.  
A deep breath in and she looked around, taking in the space before her.  
She'd never really been up here that much, not had a need to really, it was mainly the younger ones that seemed to be up here on a break or whatever, clearing their heads.  
Now it was the vascular surgeons turn to be the one up here doing what they did to just escape from the ward for a little while, gather herself, let some of the pent up emotion out where she wouldn't have an audience.  
After spending a bit of time up on the roof, Serena made her way back down to the ward, aware of her absence causing people to ask questions which at this very moment she didn't need.  
Letting herself back into the ward, she headed straight for her office, head down and quickly shutting the door, her eyes catching the coat of Bernie's on the holder in the corner behind her chair, causing her heart to drop, and a whimper to escape, quickly clamping her hand on her mouth, having to close her eyes again.  
Knock knock on the door.  
Who was it now.  
Couldn't they go away.

 

"Serena?".  
Raf.  
Her head shot up.  
"Yes? Is it Bernie?" her eyes relaying her need for an answer.  
He nodded at her.  
"Yeah, she's just out of surgery now and being transferred up to ICU, they managed to find the bleed and stop it, it was slightly worse than they thought from the scan, the next 48 plus hours are going to be touch and go..".  
"I need to see her" getting up off her chair in one swift movement.  
"Ok, but you need to be prepared for the fact she's heavily wired up from when you last saw her".  
"I know she will but I need to see her, I just have to, please?".  
I have to see her, I need to, even though it's going to be hard and not something I wished I'd ever have to see but it's her, it's Bernie.  
Leading her out of the office, Raf moved to the lift and then to ICU, Serena following beside him, in silence.  
Moving into the eerily quiet ward, the only sounds being those of the low hum of the doctors talking among themselves and the beeps and whirs of the machines, Serena looked around, unable to see the woman in question.  
"She's over here, they put her in the side room.." motioning for the brunette to join where he stood.  
She peeked through the window in the door, looking away again, hand over her eyes, trying to steady herself.  
"Do you want me to come in with you?" Raf asked, watching his colleague.  
Serena shook her head.  
Silently she moved to the door, opening it and letting it click shut behind her, her legs keeping her at the door for a moment, allowing her the time to take in the sight in front of her.  
The blonde was on her back on the bed, bandage around her head, blood matted in her hair, part of it at the very back shaved due to the position of the bleed during surgery, hooked up to all number of wires, a ventilator in her mouth helping her breathing, IV's in her arm and various other monitors keeping check of all her vitals.  
Serena whimpered at the sight of the woman she loved in such a state, walking to the chair next the bed and sitting on the edge, gently taking Bernie's hand closest to her, leaning down to rest her cheek on her girlfriends fingers.  
"What have you done to yourself. You've just got to get through this, you've just got to, I can't lose you, not now, I just can't. Please wake up soon, please Bernie, please.." her words dissolving into unruly sobs, her body shaking where she sat.


	40. Chapter 40

"Serena. Serena?" the gentle voice came from behind her, it wasn't Bernie's.  
Raf's.  
Opening her eyes she glanced to the man beside her.  
"Why don't you get off home, you need some rest...".  
Serena shook her head.  
"I'm not going anywhere, I'm not leaving her, I'm staying here!" came the firm answer, her eyes red from crying, hair slightly messy from where she'd fallen asleep against her girlfriends hand leant over the bed.  
"Ok, ok, just...at least have some food or a drink..." Raf wanted to ensure she kept her strength up and looked after herself.  
"I'm not leaving her!" wiping her eyes, tears escaping on looking to Raf.  
"Ok Serena, it's ok.." giving her shoulders a gentle rub. "I'll go and get something for you, save you a journey so you can stay here, I'll not be long..." reluctantly leaving the room, glancing back through the glass in the door to see Serena slump back in the high backed chair, still clutching Bernie's hand.  
Suddenly beeping, frantic beeping followed by a small team of doctors and a nurse rushing into the room, Serena getting up from the chair and tried to look past the bodies working around the blonde in the bed, being ushered out crying Bernie's name, wriggling in her arms trying to stay in the room with the woman she loved.  
"I want to stay, what's happening to her, tell me please?!" she cried, being led to the waiting area further down from Bernie's room, the nurse walking back to the room to assist the doctors, having told the brunette she'd be informed when they'd found out what had happened and she was to wait here.  
A short time later a doctor made his way down the corridor to the brunette sitting with her head in her hands.

 

"Ms Campbell?" the brunette raising her head to look at him.  
"Can I see her? Is she ok? What's happening?" came the rush of questions upon standing up from the chair.  
"Yes you can see her in a minute but I have to tell you her condition isn't the best, the beeping of the machines was a sign that Ms Wolfe's blood pressure had dropped, we've managed to stabilize that and in turn her at the same time..." he paused, then looked at Serena, taking a breath and then continued. "I have to tell you that if she continues to be unable to control her own vital functions over the next few days and shows no signs of improvement despite the operation and the medication we're giving her, then unfortunately we might have to look to making the painful decision in possibility turning off the ventilator and other machines that are keeping her alive, I'm sorry" not saying anything else as he motioned for her to go first down the corridor back to Bernie's room, the vascular surgeon's head spinning, her breathing uneasy on pushing through the door and walking to the chair, perching on the end, tears streaming down her cheeks, choking on the sobs that started racking her body.  
"You have to pull through, please Bernie, please, don't leave me on my own, not now, not after everything we've been through, you can't leave me, you just can't, come on please, please.." her voice trailed off, being taken over by even heavier sobs, body shaking, her head leant on top of the hand of Bernie that she held, her eyes tightly shut.  
24 hours.  
Such a small amount of time that could yet pass so slowly.  
Achingly slowly.  
So slowly you don't know if it'll ever pass.  
If it'll ever get to the next day, the new start.  
New start hopefully bringing renewed hope with it.  
The next step, the next positive step.

 

This was the limbo the brunette faced sitting by the beside of her girlfriend, not leaving her side, refusing to.  
Raf and Fletch had put their heads round to check in on her, as had Morvern, all of them asking if they could bring her anything, not really listening as she refused offers of food and drink and bringing them anyway, Serena reluctantly being dragged from the blonde's beside to the staffroom to eat and drink some of the food that had been brought to her, insisting that any minute change and they come and tell her right away.  
Having managed to eat a sandwich and drink a cup of tea, quickly nipping to the toilet, Serena made her way back to Bernie's bedside, resuming her previous position, gently moving a few strands of hair from her girlfriends eyes, stroking a thumb against her cheek.  
She still that flawless face, hair still falling in her face even when she was in a hospital bed, she was still her Bernie, just a sleeping version, that's what the brunette was telling herself, willing herself to believe.  
Back to resting her head against Bernie's hand, their fingers linked together, her eyes heavy with all the last however long it'd been since the incident, the stress, upset and overall strain taking its toll on her, willing herself to stay awake, stay awake for Bernie, but her body giving up, giving up forcing itself to do this, instead it was closing down, closing down as exhaustion came over her, eyelids dropping, the room going dark, her body loosening as she fell asleep at Bernie's bedside.  
It was the beeping that woke her up, beeping of the machines nearby, beeping that signalled something, but what was that something, she knew what it signified last time, the sense of dread washing over her even though she was still half asleep.  
"H...Help, please?!" was the call from the side room she was sat in, eyes moving between the machines surrounding the blonde, jumping up from the chair and keeping hold of Bernie's hand, the blonde's body jerking on the bed, a couple of doctors moving into the room talking between themselves, asking Serena to step to the side, their hands breaking contact whilst she stood next to the window watching the activity in front of her.  
"What's happening to her, is she ok?!" panicked the brunette, no one saying anything to her. "Is she ok?!".  
One of the doctors turning to address her.

 

"She's started to show signs of maybe her body wanting to return to consciousness but it's slightly too soon today, so we've topped up some of her pain medication and antibiotics, but reduced her sedation to see if she continues this way, if not then we'll have to reassess her condition, but this is a good sign and one step in the right direction" he nodded, leaving the room to allow them some privacy.  
You've got to come through this, you just have to.  
You're ex army Major and that means you survive things like this.  
You've been through wars and have come out the other side so this you have no excuse for.  
BMAM's soldier on, they battle, they don't give up, they're stubborn, they're fighters.  
Just like you.  
My brave Bernie.  
"Come on wake up, are you listening to me, I know you are, you've got to wake up, or show them something, anything that you're in there, do you hear me.." her voice starting to break and quiver at the thought of this not happening, trying to gather herself enough to speak again. "Because you can't leave me, you're not allowed, not when we've only just sorted things out, only just found one another after all this time, after all the time we've missed, I love you and you can't leave me, please darling, please come back to me" placing soft kisses on the blonde's knuckles, her lips being replaced by her tears, unable to keep up with wiping them away with her sleeve, giving up as she clutched the hand to her lips, threading their fingers together, unable to hold back her emotions.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yous are such a wonderful bunch of readers, thank you so much for your continued support, it means so much! <3

A week.  
A tense tense seven days.  
Seven days of waiting, hoping, praying, begging.  
For anything.  
Any kind of flicker or glimmer from the blonde woman led on the bed.  
Some kind of sign of life that she could give the doctors to show them she was still here.  
Show she was fighting, she wasn't giving up, fading away, dying.  
For the past week the brunette hadn't left her side, apart from the necessary bathroom trips, snacks and drinks and even these were quick and she told the doctors that if any little thing happen whilst she was gone then they were to come and get her.  
Sleeping leaned over the bed clutching hands, or up in the chair, well when she'd fallen asleep she was in this position, when she woke up she was on one or the other side, or her head was lulling forward towards her chest, that caused the most neck ache she found, but she didn't care, that pain was nothing to the pain she'd feel if a certain trauma surgeon didn't come back to her.  
That was a different sort of pain.  
A constant pain.  
A never ending pain.  
A life long one that no amount of grieving and crying would ever get rid of.  
Ever.

 

Then came the turn around.  
A big turnaround.  
A familiar beep of the monitors, but then something different, something new.  
A cough, a choking cough, accompanied by a struggle.  
A thrashing, then eyes opening.  
Those hazel eyes.  
Bernie's hazel eyes, those eyes she thought she'd never see open again.  
This was followed by an in rushing group of doctors, ushering Serena out of the room and closing the door, the brunette pacing outside the room, trying to peek through the blinds, but not being able to since they'd been shut fully a few days ago at her own request.  
She didn't want anyone looking in at Bernie or her regardless of them being in the hospital they worked.  
"Ms Campbell..." the brunette looking up to the sound of her name, eyes wide with questions to the doctor in front of her. "You can go back in if you want, someone wants to see you" his face smiling softly at her.  
Moving to the door he held it open for her, standing aside so she could enter the room, her eyes immediately falling to the figure in bed, the sight causing her eyes to widen even more, before her face creased in emotion and she quickly moved to the bedside of the trauma surgeon.  
There before was her girlfriend, still led in bed under the sheets but there was no ventilator, it'd been removed.

 

And what was this, her eyes.  
Serena could see Bernie's eyes.  
She had her eyes open.  
They were open and she was looking straight at the brunette.  
Bernie was looking at her.  
Her Bernie.  
Serena dashed beside her, leaning over and burying her face in the side of Bernie's neck, unable to hold back her sobs and whimpers of relief, her frame trembling.  
To her surprise she felt a hand on the small of her back, a weak touch, but a touch, Bernie's touch.  
Contact from the woman she loved.  
"You scared me so much, I thought I'd lost you, that'd you'd never come back to me again, I love you so much" she choked through her sobs.  
After remaining in this position for a few moments, she leant back up wiping her cheeks of tears at the same time as looking down at the woman underneath her, spotting a couple of tears trickling down Bernie's cheeks, tenderly wiping them away with the pad of her thumb, retaking her place in the chair next to the bed, pulling it that bit closer, one set of their fingers linked together.

 

Saying nothing they just looked at each other, Serena's cheeks with remnants of tears on them, her eyes a mixture of red from crying and dark circles from tiredness, Bernie's complexion pale, a small edge of dried blood on the bandage around her head, opening her mouth to try and speak she shut it again, still weak.  
Again she tried, still not able to speak, then a third time she opened her mouth, eyes not moving from the woman next to her.  
"I..lo..love..y..you" she stuttered, her voice barely a whisper with the effort.  
"And I love you, even though you scared me to death doing your superhero impressions" she joked gently, flashing a soft smile to her girlfriend.  
Bernie made a soft noise, trying to smile but then gasping at the pain through her body as it gripped her.  
"Shhh, it's ok just relax sweetheart, don't force anything right now, don't want you being in anymore pain" stroking the blonde's forearm soothingly, watching Bernie's eyes close again and the trauma surgeon fall asleep, the combination of the last few minutes and the medication they were giving to her making her tired.  
Sitting by her bedside Serena continued her actions, happy enough to just watch over her whilst she slept, it nice to see her minus the ventilator in her mouth and breathing independently, even if she still had all the various wires coming out from all directions.

 

Over the next few hours and days Bernie woke up briefly during the days and nights, exchanging glances and touches with the woman who'd remained at her side the entire time, doctors and nurses coming in and out in this time, adjusting and checking all her vitals and medication.  
It'd been a week after the accident and Bernie had improved and satisfied the doctors in ICU enough to enable them to move her into a general ward and keep her under some more observations there, after this deciding on the next part of her recovery process.  
"Hi darling, how are you feeling today, how's your pain?" gently kissing Bernie's cheek, the blonde groaning underneath the brunette.  
"N..not g..good" she mumbled softly, face creasing up at the pain through her head and body, balling her fist and managing to tap it against the mattress underneath.  
"Hey now, hey..." catching sight of the action, putting her hand over Bernie's fist, not wanting her to hurt herself or cause herself anymore pain.  
Bernie closed her eyes and led still on the bed, breathing deeply, frustrated.  
The bandage she'd had on her head straight after the operation had been changed whilst she'd been under the reduced sedation in ICU to prevent anymore additional pain if and when she came round and it needed to be changed.

 

"Shall I ask them for some more for the pain eh?" watching the blonde open her eyes and shake her head, still stubborn even when it came to not wanting something more to help her with the pain she was obviously in. Perching on the side of the bed, eyes on Bernie, she stroked her knuckles with her thumb. "It's alright to say you're in pain and need some more pain relief, that's what it's for, it doesn't make you weak or anything else you might be thinking in that pretty head of yours, hmm" Bernie nodding at the statement.  
"What do you think, should I ask them for some more, a little bit more?" Serena asked again.  
Pausing for a couple of minutes Bernie gave a small nod, to which Serena made her way to find one of the nurses, putting her request forward and then returned, the nurse also appearing not long later with another dose of pain medication, pressing the syringe into Bernie's IV.  
"There we go, that should kick in very quickly for you Bernie, just relax back and let it do it's job, it might make you drowsy because it's fast acting" smiling between them both and then leaving.  
"Just relax darling, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, close your eyes and try to rest" pressing a gentle kiss to the blonde's temple then returning to the chair she'd become very familiar with.  
I wish I could do something to help her, I can tell she's exhausted but frustrated and in pain at the same time, such a bad combination for anyone, but especially for Bernie.  
She's not used to being like this and being in this vulnerable position, not able to do anything for herself, being immobile, not feeling like her, not knowing what was coming or happening next.

 

This was all foreign and alien to Bernie.  
The opposite of who and what Bernie Wolfe was.  
With her head resting back on the chair she looked at the woman led in the bed next to her.  
The way her face looked different at the moment, it wasn't soft like it usually was it was tense, in pain, upset, confusion, frustration, all of the things Bernie usually wasn't.  
All of the things Bernie didn't know quite how to deal with, how to work around, to process.  
This was another thing that she was going to have to help her with if she could, there were so many thoughts moving through the brunette's head, so may questions and possibilities.  
What was next for the blonde in terms of recovery?  
How long a process could this possibly be?  
Would she ever be exactly the same person from before this horrible incident?  
Would they be able to be the same couple they were?  
Could they both come through it stronger together?  
So many questions not knowing the answer to, so many different ways the next few weeks and months could go.  
That's what life was I suppose, an adventure, an adventure littered with peaks and troughs, these ups and downs in life being for you to work through and put you to the test, pull you and the ones closest to you together, team work, use the strength of this togetherness to get over the other side of the dilemma, to solve the problem.  
This was definitely one of those times and they needed their team to pull together, now more than ever.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3 for every single one of you wonderful human beings for all the support you give me, thank you! Makes me so happy knowing you're enjoying it! :D

Making her way back into the ward having been home to shower, change and get some fresh pyjamas and essentials for Bernie, Serena stepped into the bay Bernie was on, her brow furrowing as she stood, holdall in hand, looking at an empty bed, her attention quickly being drawn to a familiar voice not far from where she stood, putting the bag next to the bed she made her way to the voice, her stride quickening that little bit more as she detected frustration and distress in its tone.  
It'd only been a couple of weeks since the incident at work and since Bernie had been moved to the ward, but already she was talking about wanting to do more, do more of something, anything, even mentioning the word rehabilitation to the doctors, they'd have course been rather reluctant to do anything of this nature since it'd not been that long since her surgery, but the trauma surgeon was insistent, so insistent that they agreed to let her start a couple of very light sessions, but only if it became too much or they didn't think it was safe or helping that she'd be back to resting in bed until she became stronger and ready for it fully.  
Now here Serena stood outside one of the rooms at the end of the ward listening to someone in obvious frustration and distress on the other side, the people with them being unable to calm them down, not usually one for interrupting or barging in, she couldn't help it on this occasion, not being able to stand by as Bernie suffered on the other side while she stood here doing nothing.  
Knocking softly she waited for a few seconds.  
No she wasn't just going to barge in, but if they didn't answer like now she would.  
She had to make sure Bernie was ok, regardless of her being with professionals.  
Yes that's a good way of being but right now in this situation I can't help it.  
It's Bernie.

 

"Come in" the nurse and therapist looking towards Serena as she entered.  
Serena flashed a friendly smile at them both, catching a glimpse of the blonde sat in the wheelchair, her hair in her eyes.  
As always, such unruly blonde curls.  
"Sorry I couldn't help but hear, is everything ok?".  
Walking over to the brunette, the therapist took her to the side of the room just out of earshot, while the nurse stayed with Bernie.  
Well you're about to find out now if everything is ok Serena.  
Here we go.  
"It's one of those bad sessions and bad times at the moment in her recovery I think, because it's also not that long since she's had surgery. We tried to do some very simple movements and other simple things with her today and while she didn't do too bad effort wise, she couldn't quite get her brain and body working in tandem, it's very common for this to happen with the kind of brain injury she's sustained and the doctors told her as much before we started but she's not coping the best with being told things like this, due to her military background and the like she expects a lot from herself and isn't used to this kind of situation, this kind of well...vulnerability I suppose you'd call it. She's been rather upset and frustrated, we've tried to calm her but not much works I'm afraid, hence what you heard from when you came in the ward" she smiled warmly and sympathetically at Serena.  
"Oh yes, I know all about her not being used to it, she's rather a tough one in times and situations like this, leave her with me, I'll take things from here and thank you for telling me, sorry if she's been...difficult".  
I know all about Bernie being difficult and she's being even more so now it seems and not just with me.  
Everyone is facing the wrath of Wolfe.  
The therapist shook her head."Not at all, she's been through rather a tough time lately" making their way back to Bernie, both the nurse and therapist saying their goodbyes to them both and then left the room.

 

"Bad day hmm?" she started softly, pulling a chair up next to Bernie who was sat in a wheelchair, watching the blonde give a silent shrug, averting her eyes from the woman next to her and then into her lap, anywhere but on Serena.  
"It's ok to have them you know, considering the injury you've had bad days are normal, everyone has them in life even those of us without what you've had happen to you, it doesn't mean anything..".  
I can see the frustration and upset in her eyes, in her face, it's all over her features.  
I can just tell.  
"I..I can't..can't do anything, even simple things, I'm exhausted, I can't get it working, can't get my arms working.." she grumbled, dipping her head even more so Serena couldn't see the stray tears escaping.  
I can't have her see them.  
It's not right for her to see them, she shouldn't have to.  
No one should.

 

"Darling..." tilting Bernie's chin gently up to look at her."It'll take time to get your mobility back and everything that comes with getting up and about, you've suffered a serious head injury, not to mention a bleed on your brain, things like that take time, but you'll get there and I'll do all I can to help you" eyes on Bernie's the whole time, watching the blonde ball her fist up, not waiting for her to do anything else with it,or hurt herself, wrapping her arms around Bernie and bringing her into her, feeling Bernie's head rest on her shoulder, her hands in her lap since she wasn't quite able to move them fully yet, keeping her close against her body.  
She's so vulnerable right now.  
She needs so much care and is being so hard on herself just like she always is.  
Just because she's Bernie, doesn't help the fact that she's exhausted from the medication and her body trying to heal itself at the same time.  
"Come on, let's get you back to bed, you're exhausted" kissing Bernie's temple, making sure she was comfortable in her chair, pushing her back to the ward.  
With the blonde back in bed and falling asleep not long after Serena sat in the chair, watching her, observing her, taking her in, those blonde locks still falling into her face, lips slightly parted as she slept, her breathing steady.  
That's better, she needs rest and sleep, to not push herself too much, its too early for her to be trying to do things yet, but her being her still wants to try.  
She wants to be better now, not to wait and let it take it's time, she wants normality now.  
Typical Bernie, not much in the way of patience that way when it comes to herself.  
Sighing to herself she got up, gently putting Bernie's hand she was holding under the blanket, then walking to the window, leaning on the sill, looking out at the view to the back of the hospital.  
I don't know what to do to help her.  
To try to aid her recovery and frustration.  
It hurts me to see her this way but I can't actually do anything to make it better, to make her better.  
All I can do is be here, be here for her and support her, just like she does for me.  
You've got to be strong for her, be strong for you both.  
You're a team.  
The best team.  
This is just another dip in the road, the road of life.  
The hard road of life.  
Turning to look over at Bernie.  
Her Bernie.  
Her Bernie who needed her.  
Just like she needed her Bernie.

 

Back to the chair she went, opening the holdall she'd brought with her, arranging the things neatly in the bedside locker, her fingers smoothing over the collar of one of Bernie's bed t shirts, a small smile as an image of the blonde in it crossed her mind, emptying the holdall, then squashing this down so it fit in the bigger space at the bottom of the locker.  
"No, leave me alone!" this statement causing the brunette to look towards the sound, Bernie, still fully asleep but restless, having what appeared to be a nightmare.  
"Now then, shhhh, it's alright, it's alright.." her fingers gently stroking her girlfriends forehead, perching on the edge of the bed next to her, watching the blonde's body relax at her touch, Bernie's face releasing the tension it held being soothed by Serena, settling back to a peaceful sleep. "There we go, you're ok, I'm here".  
"What are we going to do with you hmm, you're going to be even more of a stubborn Major in your recovery it seems, even more so than you were before, you better be ready to go into battle again because it's not going to be easy, not by a long shot, it's going to be hard, very hard but as long as we stick together we'll get through, we can get through anything together but I need you to be strong, to be so so strong, use all of that strength and army training to get better and I'll help you keep this belief and strength as much as I can, but most of it is down to you, there's only you who can get your body and mind working back to one hundred percent, back to being fully functioning, back to being you. I love you sweetheart" leaning over and kissing Bernie's forehead.  
Sitting back in the chair she watched her girlfriend for a few more minutes, making sure she was fully asleep, getting up and making her way out of the ward, thanking the nurse at the station and letting her know she'd be back later on, pausing as she stood outside the ward.  
Can I actually do this?  
Can we actually do this?  
I've never been in this kind of position before, ok yes there was Jason but that's different he can physically do things for himself but right now Bernie can't, simple things are so difficult.  
Moving away from the door she leant against the wall, closing her eyes.  
What if we can't do this?  
What if Bernie gives in and gets too frustrated and down, doesn't believe she can get better?  
I can't do this on my own without her there too putting her all in.  
I can't do it for her.  
Can't do any of this recovery for her I can only help her through it.  
I'm praying she finds that army spirit and fights through this, fights for it all.  
Fights for herself and us.  
Because I need her to.  
I need her like she needs me.  
Her mind whirring at the endless possibilities, taking a deep breath, allowing herself the time to stand against the wall with her eyes closed in silence.


	43. Chapter 43

Since spending a further couple of weeks in hospital, having continued to have her therapy as part of her rehabilitation, the doctors had decided to allow Bernie to be discharged, but only under strict instructions that she had to attend quite intensive therapy every day, all of them as a collective deciding she'd more likely make quicker and more successful progress in her own surroundings and attending the rehabilitation centre during the day, allowing her to be home at night, the blonde trauma surgeon unable to properly settle in hospital, being away from Serena most of the day and only getting to see her when she popped up during a shift if she had the chance, or after her shifts had finished causing the blonde to become very unsettled and on a few occasions agitated, the brunette doing her best to see Bernie as much as possible.  
Leaving the arrangements of the rehabilitation to the doctors and therapists at the hospital, Serena had herself collected Bernie from the hospital after her shift, making sure all the arrangements for the blonde's first day at therapy had been organised properly.  
It'd been hard juggling it all, Bernie, Jason and work, but somehow so far she'd managed it, having Bernie home would be better, especially in day therapy, putting her mind at rest whilst she worked that her girlfriend was getting the help she needed and they'd bring her home at night, something she'd missed dearly.  
Yes having her at the hospital, in the same building during shift was nice, but it wasn't the same as having her in bed next to her at night, nothing could replace that, nothing.  
Back into the house they went, the blonde able to walk herself now using Serena for assistance, slowly still and she got tired quickly, but her taking physical steps were definitely progress.

 

With Serena taking the holdall upstairs and the blonde making her way into the kitchen, holding her balance by using the walls in the hallway and then the countertops in the kitchen itself, gingerly she gripped the kettle watching her fingers curl around the handle, taking a minute and then moving it over to the tap, putting it next to the sink as she turned the tap on, resting for another second or two before filling it up steadily, feeling the weight increase as the water level rose, using both hands this time to place the kettle back by the sink and turn the tap off, both hands then returning to grip the kettle, sitting it on its base and flicking it on, leaning her weight back against the side, feeling a little tired after this expelling of energy.  
This is stupid, I shouldn't be this tired after walking up the hallway and filling the kettle.  
I'm so not used to this situation.  
My body being this exhausted.  
Being this immobile.  
This weak.  
I'm usually the opposite.  
Ok yes I get tired because of the shifts we work in AAU, but not to this extent before.  
Never like this, not even on tour.  
It's ridiculous.

 

Taking a breath she opened her eyes, slowly reaching up to grasp a mug from the cupboard above the kettle, successfully holding one and then closing the cupboard but then it happened, her grip weakened, loosened, the mug slipped from her grasp and in front of Bernie's eyes almost in slow motion the mug went sailing to the floor, hitting the smooth surface and shattering on impact.  
It was like an instant fizzing through her veins.  
Frustration.  
Bubbling away under the surface.  
Until it reached out into the atmosphere.  
"For fucks sake!" she shouted, her fist balling at her side and smacking against her thigh in frustration and anger, glancing down at the mess the mug had made on the floor, followed by the sound behind her of the kettle clicking and steaming on fully boiling.  
Hearing the smash followed by the shout from upstairs, Serena dashed down the stairs and the hallway, stopping in the kitchen doorway, opening her mouth to speak this being cut short on the blonde swinging her left arm out towards the draining board which held a couple of wine glasses, her hand connecting with them and pushing them to the floor causing them to explode as soon as they hit the surface, the glass landing on top of the already broken mug, letting out an angry grunt, her breathing heavy, teeth gritted.   
"Fuck!" unaware she was being watched, hitting her thigh with her fist again, eyes turning to the rustling sound coming from behind her, widening on seeing Serena taking a step towards her, looking to the carnage on the floor and then back to the brunette, waiting for the atmosphere to be broken, not sure how much she'd seen.  
"Bernie.." reaching her hand towards the other woman.  
"No!" turning her back on the brunette, hand gripping the nearby work surface for balance, clearly still shaking in anger, closing her eyes.  
"Bernie what's happened, hm?" keeping her tone soft and sympathetic.  
"You know what's happened!" she snapped back.

 

Serena shook her head at the blonde's answer.  
"Bernie.." she tried again stepping closer to her girlfriend, placing a hand on the blonde's hip.  
"Get...get off me Serena" Bernie's tone low and blunt.  
Here we go, it's begun now we're home, pushing away just like she tried in hospital when she had a bad therapy day.  
"Why should I do that hm?" she questioned, not moving her hand.  
"Because I told you to..I...I told you to move your hand!" stammering her answer, her tone still angry but with more quiver in her voice.  
"And if I don't?" Serena challenged, keeping her hand against Bernie's hip, risking a stroke with her thumb.  
"Then...then I'll.." balling her fists at her sides, swaying a little on taking her hand off the solid kitchen surface.  
"Hm?".  
The blonde turned on her heels to face the brunette, eyes fixed with Serena's, jaw tense, fists still balling at her sides but having moved up to her hips slightly.  
"I'll do something I...I regret" and she felt like she would, she had so much frustration bubbling away inside her, so much of everything simmering away, due to the fact she seemed unable to do the simplest of things, like make a drink.  
"Darling..." wrapping her hands around Bernie's wrists gently, taking a step closer to the blonde, seeing the distress she was clearly in, trying her best to understand. "Talk to me, you know I'm here for you through anything, but I can't try and begin to help or anything if I don't understand, or at least partly understand".  
Bernie wrestled with the grip around her wrists, her socked feet shuffling on the spot and making her sway that bit more.  
"Understand....how could you possibly understand, how can you understand that I can't even make a drink, no sod that I can't even get a mug out of the bloody cupboard without dropping it and it smashing all over the floor! See all that mess, it's me, it's my fault! I get tired at walking to the kitchen and filling the kettle up, then I get the mug out and it smashes, because my hand doesn't seem to want to hold it or can't hold it! I'm bloody tired stood here now and I've not even done anything much at all, my body wants to do these things as does my brain but trying to get them both working together isn't happening, I'm bloody useless, can't do anything, nothing! You should just leave me, leave me to be alone, not have this type of burden on you, you don't need or deserve it, you deserve better than this, better than me!" was the shouted response, her eyes blazing with upset and frustration, pulling her wrists roughly in Serena's hands, trying but failing to get the brunette to loosen her grip, Serena watching the blonde falling apart in front of her eyes. "Are you bloody listening, nothing! Nothing Serena, I can't do anything! I can't do this, I can't!" she yelled again, tears escaping down her cheeks, breath hitching in her throat as she crumbled, her legs buckling underneath her, the brunette moving quickly towards her and on releasing the blonde's wrists she caught her in her arms preventing her girlfriend falling to the floor, cradling her against her body.

 

"It's alright, shhhh" moving them to one of the dining chairs, sitting Bernie on her lap, keeping her against her body. "Just let it go, let it all out sweetheart, I'm here" one of her hands stroking through the blonde's curls.  
Sat on Serena's lap, Bernie curled more into her girlfriend, her face buried into the brunette's neck as she sobbed, these sobs being soothed on feeling the hand in her hair, sobs dissolving into whimpers after an infinite amount of time.  
"I love you" Serena whispered against Bernie's hair, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "Do you hear me, I love you" she repeated.  
Bernie lifted her head up slowly from its position, wincing at the stiffness in her neck having been curled into Serena, her eyes finding the brunette's, the blonde's complexion ashen and her eyes red from her tears, a little tension still holding on her jaw.  
"I'm...sorry" Bernie whispered, and she was, she couldn't seem to help these outbursts they just came over her, the agitation seemed to build up and then the anger, the frustration, frustration at herself, her body for not working as she thought it should do, the small matter of having pulled through a traumatic brain injury and bleed on her brain seemingly passing her thoughts, only being focused on what she couldn't do right now.  
I can't help it.  
It just comes over me, this overwhelming feeling, collection of feelings.  
Frustration, upset, anger, tiredness, pain.  
It all mixes into one and I need to let it out, but then that's a struggle.  
And I end up lashing out.  
Needing a release I lash out.  
To the nearest person.  
Which isn't what I should be doing but I do.  
I need to, I actually have a need to.  
And it gets exhausting.  
Mentally and physically.  
It's so draining.  
I'm so tired.

 

"I know, you're exhausted, physically and mentally. But that's normal after what you've been through, but it'll get easier, it'll get better it just won't be an overnight quick fix, it's going to take time" Serena reasoned, kissing Bernie's forehead. "Now how about I clean this up and then we have another go at making that drink, together?" watching the hazel eyes look at her, deciding on her response.  
Bernie gave a small nod.  
"Ok".  
Kissing the tip of Bernie's nose, Serena gently shifted the blonde off her lap and then left her to sit in the chair whilst she cleaned up the broken shards from the floor, glancing over to Bernie when she'd finished.  
"Ready to go?" Serena smiled at her.  
Getting up from the chair, Bernie joined Serena in the kitchen, the brunette standing behind the blonde as she reached up to the cupboard above the kettle just like before for a mug.  
"That's it, take your time you're doing fine" watching as Bernie curled her fingers around a white mug.  
Slowly the blonde started lowering it to the work surface, her hand trembling with the effort, comforted as Serena gently wrapped a hand around hers, helping her lower it the rest of the way down.  
With the mug on the solid top, she shakily put hot chocolate powder into the mug, some of it landing out of the desired location and dusting over the mug, the kettle having been re boiled and steaming on completion, the thought of this next part of the task causing Bernie to half glance back at Serena.  
"It's ok, we'll do it together, you ready?" she mumbled softly and reassuringly to her girlfriend, Bernie's hand the first around the handle of the kettle, with Serena's over the top, lifting the kettle from its base, slowly pouring the water up to the desired level and then replacing it, a teaspoon being handed to Bernie, letting her stir the contents and then put this next to the kettle.

 

"Nice job done there Major" snaking her arms around Bernie's waist, the blonde's stance allowing her to rest her chin on the trauma surgeons shoulder, Bernie laying her arms over Serena's, snuggling back into her, closing her eyes.  
"Thank you" Bernie whispered, her tone soft and sincere.  
"Anytime, you can do these things you just need a bit of help at the moment, but that's ok because we all need help now and again, in different ways, this is your time to have this type of help, but it doesn't mean it'll last forever, or that you'll never be able to do things in the future, it just means that you can't do them on your own right now, you need therapy and help to get you stronger to do the things you used to. And you can do it, I know you can. I believe in you" kissing Bernie's temple lovingly, feeling the blonde turn into her more.  
"I love you" Bernie whispered tenderly and she did love her, she loved her with everything she was and had, no one had ever quite understood her like Serena Campbell did.  
"And I love you and I think it's time that we took this lovely hot chocolate upstairs to bed and have a proper snuggle for the first time in so long, because I've missed having you next to me, I just want to hold you close tonight, have you fall asleep in my arms".  
Bernie smiled to herself at the thought, she'd missed that closeness with the brunette to, one of the many reasons she couldn't settle in hospital.  
"I'd like nothing more, I've missed being close to you so much" replied the blonde, opening her eyes on hearing the mug being picked up by Serena with one hand, her free arm staying around Bernie's back, the both of them steadily walking down the hallway and then to the stairs, the blonde slowly going up first with Serena close behind her.


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How much I appreciate you all and your support I can't properly express in words, just thank you so much all of you! :) <3

This is so not what I expected to be doing.  
Not in the slightest.  
Sat here in this room waiting for physio, rehabilitation, whatever they call it.  
Me in physio.  
Bernie Wolfe in intensive day therapy physio.  
Jesus.  
Also aid in my walking because they feel a bit weak still after what happened.  
Me having physio, physio to help me use my upper body and arms and hands properly.  
Yes because they've decided to not want to work properly.  
Not hold or grip cups, mugs, plates and the like.  
Not to understand things properly sometimes, get confused and agitated, frustrated, dare I say it aggressive.  
Not against people, not against Serena.  
Against objects.  
Throwing or smashing them mainly.  
Not big objects because I can't lift them for one thing and I don't seem to reach for them only smaller ones.  
Mainly glasses and cups and things of that nature.  
The smashing of objects appears to do something to aid my frustration so it seems, but then again I don't know if it does because I'm still frustrated when I do it again however long later.

 

She'd requested for one on one rehabilitation, it was bad enough that she had to come here at all during the day, let alone having an 'audience' whilst working through all this nonsense.  
It'd been quite the morning doing other activities that had been set for her, then the group session took them until dinnertime and then after this it was one to one physio in a separate room with one of the therapists.  
That was one saving grace having one on one for these separate sessions.  
I couldn't face having to do this in front of an audience, to have everyone looking at me.  
Staring and watching me.  
No way.  
"You ready to go Bernie" smiled the woman who she'd come to know as Jane since all the staff wore name badges, she was about Bernie's age but a bigger build, more muscles, little bit taller, but nice, she was friendly and encouraging, even on the days that the blonde wasn't in the mood, saying she couldn't do it and generally getting frustrated, verging on angry and threatening to quit.  
"As I'll ever be.." she mumbled, getting to her feet off the chair she was sat on in front of the two parallel walking bars, the piece of equipment she seemed to have the most trouble with, she couldn't quite get to the end of it, despite trying it several times over the last couple of weeks she'd been attending.  
I hate these things, they always seem to get the better of me.  
I can do most of it but just can't quite finish them.  
"You ok there, feel steady?" standing behind Bernie incase anything happened, watching the trauma surgeon nod in agreement. "Let's go when you're ready then and let's get to the end of these bars eh" she encouraged happily, having belief in the woman she was helping, she'd seen her make small but steady progress over these past weeks and knew she could do it, it was just trying to instil this same belief into the blonde.

 

Bernie looked from where she was stood to the end of the bars, the bars that she'd not been able to get to the end of since coming here, she'd either run out of energy near the end of completing them, or her legs had become weak having had all her weight put on them as she forced herself to walk faster than was possible at that time, causing her legs and calves to give up and stop her reaching the end.  
Come on, I need to do this.  
I want to do this.  
I want to get to the end of these bars for the first time.  
Want to show that I can do this, not just to Jane but myself.  
Some kind of proof that I'm slowly making progress.  
Getting better.  
Getting stronger.  
With a deep breath she started, hands gripping the bars, feet moving one after the other, keeping a steady pace, her legs motoring down towards her goal.  
"That's it Bernie, you're doing well, keep going" encouraged Jane behind her, making sure she was not too far away from her patient.  
The blonde took a deep breath as her legs continued to work underneath her, her hands keeping their grip on the bars, head and eyes focused on the end, the target, the victory, the win.  
She was nearly there, she could almost touch it, she had almost succeeded.  
Nearly there, come on, come on.  
This is where I made it to last time and then couldn't carry on, had run out of energy, my body had been unable to continue.  
Not this time.  
I need this.  
Need to do this.  
I want to get this milestone done.

 

"Nearly there now, come on you got this" Jane's voice behind her was high and happy, she herself knowing how close Bernie was, wanting her to do this and finish it for herself.  
With a few more grips of the bar and footsteps forward, her hands reached out and grabbed the end of the bar, her eyes coming face to face with Jane's, the other woman's face smiling brightly.  
"Nice job Bernie!".  
This being then interrupted by the sound of soft clapping filling the room, frowning softly the trauma surgeon looked in the direction of the noise, her eyes widening on seeing Serena walking towards her, a wide grin on her face, this remaining on the brunette coming to stand in front of her, taking the place of Jane.  
"What are you doing here?" questioned the trauma surgeon, totally surprised at seeing her girlfriend.  
"Watching you do what I knew you could" she smirked softly, unable to hide her joy at what she'd just witnessed.  
"You saw it all?".  
Serena nodded in answer. "Yep, I sure did".  
This answer causing a shy blush over Bernie's cheeks, dipping her head from view.  
"Oh no, we'll have none of that Wolfe" her hand under her chin so their eyes were together. "I'm so proud of you, do you know that" brown eyes floating over the blonde's face trying to figure out her feelings, this being answered by Bernie throwing her arms around Serena's neck, burying her face into the spot just under her ear, Serena responding by holding her tight against her body, softly brushing her thumbs on the small of Bernie's back on feeling the blonde's frame shake with soft cries.  
"I...I didn't know if I could do it or not.." she managed to whispered between whimpers, the emotion of having manage to get to the end of the bars, coupled with Serena being there to see it becoming too much and causing her to have to let her feelings out, these coming in the form of tears, something the blonde surgeon found since her injuries she'd been seeing more of in herself, she'd never really been one for crying before the head injury but now she seemed to be the opposite.  
She had so many emotions going on all at once, all going around and around her body every day, that she'd become prone to these crying spells.  
It's always happening nowadays.  
I know the doctors said it might do but I'm so not used to all these tears.  
All these overwhelming feelings.  
They build up like a wave then crash back down.  
It's rather disconcerting sometimes.  
Like I don't quite know where to put myself.  
How to release them.  
When to release them.  
How to handle them.  
How to handle myself.

 

"Well you did, you did it all by yourself. I'm so glad that I got to see it, you were motoring along them bars" smiling at the memory of what she'd just seen, it wouldn't seem like a milestone to most people but to Bernie it was, the woman who only a few weeks before had been at deaths door, the doctors not knowing if she'd ever wake up again let alone walk, yet her she was walking, walking on her own with only bars under her hands to strength her legs, her own legs doing the work, her hands working in tandem to get her to this point, so yes for Bernie this was a significant milestone, Serena to.  
"Is it ok if I take her off your hands?" Serena asked Jane, it nearly being the end of the day for the patients at the rehab centre.  
Jane looked at her watch before she smiled back at the brunette. "Of course, it's Friday after all, enjoy your weekend both of you and very well done again Bernie" the blonde moving her head from Serena's shoulder to look at Jane, giving her a watery smile, replying "Thank you".  
"You're more than welcome, that's what we're here for. See you next week Bernie, keep up the good work, you're doing brilliantly" giving them both another smile and then leaving the room.  
"See, did you hear that, you're doing brilliantly" said Serena, loosening her grip around the blonde as they both moved to sit down on the chairs in the room.  
"I'm trying hard to, even though it's not easy"  
"How about we go home and get a takeaway , just snuggle up, Jason has gone to Alan's for the weekend, apparently it's a boys get together or something, he was very excited for going bless him".  
"Sounds ideal" the blonde smiled, getting to her feet followed by Serena.  
Arriving back at home, they both changed into their comfy clothes and then made their way to sit on the sofa, deciding between them which takeaway they wanted, Serena ordered their choices, trying to then choose what they should have on TV, they went for a rom com that they'd heard was meant to be good, Bernie not being convinced but deciding to at least try it under Serena's suggestion that it wouldn't be all soppy and crying throughout and how could Bernie deny the brunette.  
When the food arrived the blonde collected the bag from the driver, returning to the living room, Serena bringing through the plates and cutlery, placing one in front of Bernie along with a knife and fork, smiling as she sat down next to her, the food having been laid out on the table.  
Plating up the food for them they both began to eat, glancing at each other and smiling, Bernie seemingly managing to use her knife and fork quite easily, both of them enjoying their food.

 

"Damn" Bernie muttered, causing Serena's attention to be drawn to the blonde next to her, the trauma surgeon leaning down to something that had dropped by her feet on the carpet, obviously some of her food from the plate.  
With her breathing quickening in what the brunette couldn't make out if it was upset or agitation.  
"What's up Bernie..." pausing her eating to ask the question, her knife and fork down on her plate.  
"I spilt some on the carpet and I can't seem to get rid of the mark now" rubbing at the barely noticeable mark under her hand.  
"I can't really see it, I think you've gotten rid of it now, come and finish your food before it gets cold" placing her hand on the blonde's shoulder.  
"But it's still there, I can see it still and it's my fault that's it's there in the first place so I should get rid of it" her words seeming to quicken as she spoke, rubbing more at the mark on the carpet, her distress seeming to be rising the more she rubbed.  
Serena sighed softly, her words not reaching the brain of Bernie even though she knew she'd heard them, taking a few minutes before trying again.  
"Bernie....it's fine, now leave it to dry and come and continue with your food" her tone having changed to being firm and to the point, not quite knowing how else to get the message across to the woman at her feet, not meaning it to sound harsh.  
This change didn't go unnoticed by the trauma surgeon, head immediately snapping up to look at Serena.  
"Are you annoyed with me?" hazel eyes searching the brunette's face for her answer.  
"No I'm not, now will you leave that and come and eat your food" hands now on either side of her legs on the sofa.  
I can tell there's something not right and her tone was different, not like it was in the day centre.  
She's annoyed with me.  
She's not happy.  
Not happy because of me.  
How I am.

 

"You are Serena, you're annoyed, I can tell you are by what you're saying, just tell me you are..." darting eyes on the woman next to her, feeling herself start to get agitated.  
"Bernie, I'm not, now come here" her eyes shifting to look at the space next to her that had been vacated, this simple action appearing to be the catalyst for blonde's behaviour and the next set of events.  
With one swift movement Bernie was to her feet, accidently catching the edge of her plate that was on the table, knocking it and its contents all over the floor, the mark that had just been cleaned, now being in Bernie's recovering mind made a hundred times worse by her action, quickly grabbing the nearest thing to her, this being a small tumbler filled with water, with her hand beginning to tremble, the liquid sloshing up the sides threatening to spill over the sides, Bernie's pupils dilating, her face flushing, eyes shooting across the plane of her surroundings for a target, a release.  
Raising said glass in mid air ready to take aim it seemed, her grip faltered, to which she scrambled to reverse the action, not yet strong and mobile enough to catch the glass, it hitting the floor but not breaking, the water spilling onto the carpet, this action causing the blonde's eyes to follow it as tears came down her cheeks, her breathing stuttering as she started sobbing, looking to Serena and then carrying herself out of the living room, up the stairs, this still being a struggle, across their bedroom floor and into the en suite, locking the door and sliding to the floor, her back against the door, unable to stop the howl of pain and anguish that left her lips.


	45. Chapter 45

"Bernie? Bernie sweetheart open the door, please?" said Serena, tapping on the door, trying the handle, yes she's definitely locked it.  
The pain and anguish on her face was something I'd never seen before.  
She looked so distraught, so pained, so angry all in one expression.  
All because of one thing.  
Of one person.  
Him.  
He'd caused this.  
Caused all of this that was currently happening to her.  
Now come on Serena that's over now, that part of the story anyway.  
Now it's Bernie's part of it.  
The other side.  
Bernie's recovery.  
Now we knew and were told it wouldn't be easy and here's the proof right in front of you.  
Proof of her pain, her anger, frustration.  
Proof of the damage mentally that it's done to her.  
Proof that she needs all the help she can possibly get right now.  
She definitely needs yours, she might not say them exact words all the time but she shows it in other ways.  
She falls asleep in your arms because she feels safe enough too.  
She cries and breaks down in front of you and she never does that with anyone else.

 

"Please sweetie" she herself sliding down the wall to sit at the side of the door, her face creasing on hearing the other woman's sobs through the door.  
"N..No I can't..." Bernie replied in between her cries, her body racking with the strength of how she was feeling.  
"Yes you can and do you know why, because I believe in you, I saw evidence of it today in how you completed those bars, I saw it with my own eyes as did you".  
"But...but then I reacted how I just did and how I keep doing, I...I can't help it, I have to...have to do it, to let....let it out...." her cheeks saturated in tears.  
"Let what out darling?" feeling her heart hurting at how distressed Bernie was but not knowing how else to try and aid in this situation apart from getting her to talk and open up.  
"This...this...this anger, but sometimes it's not that, sometimes it's frustration...sometimes I get..get overwhelmed, then upset, sometimes I...I don't even know what I am anymore, what I feel, it all feels too much, that I can't ever get through this, that I'm useless, no good, can't do things like I used to, that it has been taken from me" her head going into her hands, fingers into her blonde curls.  
"Ok, listen to me, all of these things that you're experiencing and feeling are horrible and not nice for you, but they're all 'normal' in terms of the injury you've suffered, the progress you've made so far is so good, it's not the end though in terms of what you can continue to accomplish, getting back to the level you were at and where you want to be, you can get there, just need to keep going..." trying to think of the right words to say to help Bernie calm down and rationalise what she was feeling.  
"I get angry though, have mood swings, I can't help it, people must think I'm a mad and bad person the way I behave...".  
"No they don't, they don't think any of these things, no one has ever said that to since your head injury have they?" wondering if someone saying something had got into the blonde's head.

 

"N..No".  
"Well then, that means no one thinks that, we all know it's not your fault, none of this is and what's happened to you is causing these changes in you, but they don't have to be permanent and forever, they'll slowly fade out and go away it just might take a bit of time..".  
"W...What if you get...get fed up of me, fed up of me being this way, can't be doing with me, and then decide you're better off without me, get sick of me, d...don't love me anymore" the last part of the sentence causing Bernie's sobs to go up a level of intensity at the mere thought of Serena saying those words to her.  
Serena closed her eyes and shook her head, wishing she could simply bash through the door and grab Bernie to her.  
Jeez that's the last thing I'd say to her.  
I couldn't not love her.  
I love her more every day.  
She's been through and going through so much I just want to help her.  
Take her pain away for her.  
But I can't, only time and treatment can do that.  
"L...listen to me, Bernie listen, do you know what you said when you came back from Kiev when we were in the office, do you remember?" not waiting for a response, knowing she could hear her so she continued. "You said to me you didn't want that horrible, empty, lonely feeling ever again. Well let me tell you, I never want that either and not having you would cause this in me, you're the one that stops me having and feeling these horrible feelings, no one else in this world can do this but you, I need you Bernie, just as much as you need me, please darling, please open the door?" her voice pleading with the other woman as she wiped tears from her eyes, leaning her head back against the wall.  
She remembers what I said.  
I did mean what I said I don't want those feelings again.  
And I don't have them as long as I have her.  
She says the same to me.  
I stop her feeling that way.  
Me.  
No one else.  
Just me.  
Me.

 

Shakily she reached a hand from her face and towards the lock on the door, glancing up and clicking it off, shuffling on her bum away from the door and coming to sit with her back against the toilet, head going back into her hands.   
Serena reacted immediately, getting to her feet at the click of the lock, opening the door, her eyes finding the blonde in an instant, dropping to her knees in front of Bernie, cradling the weeping blonde to her chest.  
"Don't you ever think that I'd be better without you or that I'm mad at you, I'm not, if that's how I came across then it wasn't meant, but it what happened with the food and things wasn't anyone's fault, it was just a misunderstanding" pressing kisses to the top of Bernie's head.  
"You still love me?" the small voice of the trauma surgeon asked.  
Cradling Bernie's face in her hands, the brunette lifted her head so they had their eyes on level, the brunette's eyes shining with emotion as she spoke.  
"Of course I do, don't you ever doubt that for a second, do you hear me?" keeping their eyes together on waiting for Bernie to answer.  
"Yes, I hear you.." scurrying to wrap her arms around the waist of the woman she loved, squeezing the vascular surgeon. "I love you" breathing in the scent of her woman, this helping to settle her.  
She had a distinct scent Serena, Bernie had realised, it was something that only she had, it was a mixture of freshly washed laundry and her flowery perfume, it was the Serena scent that Bernie found intoxicating, intoxicating and calming. Whenever they were in bed together and Bernie woke up first spooned into the back of the brunette, her nose into the brown hair at the back of her neck, she got the opportunity to enjoy the scent of her skin, taking the time to breathe in the woman in her arms, to keep her moulded against her body for as long as possible in the calm stillness of first thing in the morning, it was heaven.

 

And it was this heaven that she wanted to keep, to keep repeating every single morning for as long as she was allowed, as long as she was alive.  
The only way this was possible was if she fought.  
Fought the circumstances she presently found herself in.  
Fight to get back to who she was, how her body before all this happened.  
But her mind too.  
And if things carried on the way they were she might need help to deal with the hopefully temporary side effects that came hand in hand with a brain injury.  
Help to deal with her feelings and how at the moment they were a bit all over the place, a bit erratic.  
If that was the case then that's what needed to be done.  
She needed to fight for them both.  
As well as herself, she had to fight for Serena.  
To fight for her relationship.  
Not let this arsehole and his actions ruin things.  
Ruin her.  
Ruin Serena.  
Fight time Bernie.

 

They both headed back downstairs, Bernie helping to clean up the spillage on the floor, the both of them settling on the sofa again to finish and enjoy their food, with a little help from the microwave to reheat it, after which they retired to bed, both women wrapped up together, falling peacefully asleep.  
Waking up before the brunette the next morning, realising it was Serena's weekend off, Bernie slipped out of bed, being careful not to disturb her, making her way down to the kitchen, pulling a tray from underneath the sink, laying it on the counter she picked up a mug from the drainer setting it next to the kettle, seeing there was enough water she clicked it to boil, a teaspoon and a half of coffee into the mug. A plate was taken out of the cupboard, followed by a couple of slices of bread from the loaf on the opposite work surface, straight into the toaster as the kettle finished.  
Taking a breath Bernie curled her two hands around the handle, giving herself another moment, carefully lifting up the appliance and tipping the water into the mug, getting the desired level and putting it down back to its base, a small relieved breath at not spilling the hot water. Next she added the milk and quickly retrieved the hot bread from said toaster, taking her time to butter both pieces nicely as she could, cutting them through the middle, this being added to her now full tray. Taking a handle either side of the tray she lifted it from the hard, safe surface, padding gently out of the kitchen and up the stairs, pausing half way up to re balance herself, another breath and she was off up the remainder of the steps, down the landing and pushing through the bedroom door, looking over at the brunette still sleeping, this alone causing Bernie to smile how peaceful she look, her brown locks stuck up in various directions.

 

"Serena" she whispered, knelt by the side of the bed, tray on the floor. "Serena.." she tried again, the brunette hearing her name and flickering her eyes open, sleepily smiling to the other woman.  
"Bernie, are you ok?" thinking in her half asleep state that maybe something had happened whilst she'd been asleep.  
"I'm fine beautiful, I've got something for you, but you've got to sit up to get it" placing a gentle kiss on the brunette's cheek.  
Frowning softly, Serena pushed herself into a sitting position, leaning back on the pillows, covering a yawn with her hands.  
"Comfy?" Bernie asked, getting a nod from Serena, moving to where she'd placed the tray, making sure she had a firm enough grip of the handles, up off the floor and into the lap of the waiting Serena, seeing the brunette scan the contents and then beam a smile to her girlfriend.  
"Who did this, you?" her eyes looking straight to the blonde, to which she received a nod, yes.   
"I wanted to surprise you, do something nice for you after all you've been doing for me" moving back around to slide in bed next to the brunette who'd started drinking the coffee and eating the toast, offering a slice to Bernie who took it, giving a smile to her girlfriend.  
"Well you've certainly done that, thank you" leaning across to softly peck the blonde's lips. "I thought maybe we could go for a nice walk around the park today, it looks lovely out there, stop for a coffee on the way round at that little wooden hut cafe near the pond?" watching Bernie's face light up at the idea.  
"I'd really like that, yes, it'd help with my legs too" she said, wanting to spend some quality time with Serena alone.


	46. Chapter 46

Finishing their breakfast, showering and then getting changed they both got into Serena's car and drove to the park, parking up and stepping out, the various smells and sounds filling Bernie's senses, closing her eyes taking in the calm atmosphere she found herself in.  
Serena watched her, giving her a few moments before rounding the car from the driver's side and slipping her fingers through the blonde's.  
"Ready to walk?" she asked on Bernie opening her eyes.  
"Yeah" Bernie smiled, the pair of them slowly but steadily making their way along the paths through the park, pausing every so often for the blonde but then continuing on, eventually reaching the cafe that sat in the middle of the park next to the large pond, that was home to what seemed like rather a few ducks and swans who were swimming over the water, a few ducklings by their mothers side too.  
This was such a good idea of hers.  
I feel relaxed here with her.  
It's peaceful.  
It's calm.  
It still being early on in the morning helps.  
Being with her helps.  
She always does.

 

Serena picked a table in a nice spot that allowed to them look out at the entirety of the pond, under Bernie's insistence that she be to one to go and get them coffees, a nice cake would be welcome was the cheeky request from the brunette much to Bernie's amusement.  
Carefully making her way down the steps, hands firm on either side of the tray, the blonde reached the table, successfully placing it on their table, dispensing both their drinks on the table, the piece of cake with a fork on the side of the plate in between them.  
Chatting easily, they both enjoyed their coffees and shared the cake, Bernie delighting in smoothing the crumbs off Serena's cheek, the brunette smiling at the intimate action, the blonde then deciding she wanted to feed the ducks, nipping back into the cafe house and buying god only knows what to feed them with, a nice muffin or chocolate slice knowing Bernie, this thought causing a chuckle from the vascular surgeon.  
"What's in there?" Serena frowned on the brown paper bag in Bernie's hand.  
"Things to feed the ducks with" opening it to reveal some slices of bread, a muffin and a couple of bread rolls.  
Serena chuckled and shook her head. "What are you like" linking her arm through the blonde's, the both of them walking round to the part of the pond where the ducks were gathered, some of them had spotted Bernie coming with her brown bag, eagerly waiting at what she could have.  
"Do you want some?" offering the open bag to Serena, unable to help herself smile as she took a slice of bread and broke it into small pieces, throwing it into the flock of ducks, the little creatures fighting the other for who got the bread, attention quickly moving to Bernie's bread that got thrown in not long after.  
Standing next to the blonde Serena watched her, how her face lit up on throwing the various bits of bread from her bag into the water and having the ducks come near her to get some, this smile growing on spotting the ducklings just to the side of the group, the little bundles of feather sticking close by what looked like their mum.  
"Serena have you seen the ducklings they're so cute!" causing the brunette to flash a wide smile at Bernie's reaction.  
Look at her, she's like a big kid.  
As if she's got a paper bag of things just for the ducks.  
Well yeah actually that's a totally Bernie thing for her to do.  
My Bernie.  
My precious, brave Bernie.

 

"Yeah I've seen them and they are rather cute, but not as cute as you" watching the blonde turn to face her, the smile still there, her hazel eyes wandering over Serena's features, a shy hue to her cheeks.  
"I love you y'know?" Bernie murmured softly, stuffing the remaining muffin in her coat pocket so she could slip her arms around Serena's waist.  
Serena beamed at the words and gesture, cuddling against Bernie's front, looking up into her eyes.  
"I know you do, as I love you" giggling softly on feeling the blonde's lips kiss the shell of her ear and then whisper. "I love you more" grinning happily at Serena's giggle, pulling the brunette tight to her, cradling her, resting her chin on her shoulder, closing her eyes, content just to stand there holding her girlfriend in her embrace.  
I do love her more.  
More than I think she'll ever know.  
More than anything.  
More than I've ever loved anyone before and ever will again.  
I didn't know love until I met her.  
Now I don't ever want to be without her.  
I can't be without her.  
I can't live without her.  
She's got my heart.  
My heart belongs to her.

 

"Just wait here a second" Bernie said, slipping her arms from around Serena's waist, seeing the puzzled expression on the brunette's face and disappearing off into the distance around the other side of the pond.  
What's she doing?  
Wait here for what exactly?  
Where's she gone?  
Not sure how long she'd been stood there for she caught sight of a familiar figure walking back towards her, not as fast as she usually was but quicker than she'd been at the start of her rehabilitation, one arm behind her back, this causing a deeper frown on the brunette's face.  
"Close your eyes" said Bernie coming back to stand in front of the vascular surgeon, still not revealing her arm and hand.  
"Why?".  
"Please Serena, just close your eyes".  
Shaking her head she did as she was asked, not quite sure what she should be expecting to be waiting for.  
"Hold out your hand" was the request that Serena obeyed, something being in her open palm, gripping it gently. "Okay you can open them now" Bernie added, standing back as Serena's brown eyes were revealed, followed by them seeing the gift Bernie had given her.  
A rose.  
A red rose.  
A fresh, real, red rose.  
Eyes flickering between Bernie and the flower in her hand, finally settling on Bernie.  
"Bernie it's....it's lovely, thank you" giving the blonde a watery smile, her eyes shining on filling with tears, Bernie stepping into the gap between them, wrapping Serena in her arms.  
"What's with the tears eh?" kissing the side of the brunette's head, waiting for her to speak.  
Serena sniffed at the tears, wiping her eyes with one of her hands.  
"Just...it's just such a kind and thoughtful gift, I can't remember being given a fresh rose before" smiling to the flower in her hand, Bernie watching her.  
"Well you should've been given them because you deserve them and more" wiping the remaining tears off one of the brunette's cheeks with the pad of her thumb, cupping said cheek, smiling at her girlfriend. "You're so beautiful".

 

Serena leaned into the touch, kissing Bernie's palm, then opening her eyes to smile widely at the woman before her, lacing her fingers with those of the blonde, leading her away to a patch of secluded grass with a few trees surrounding it looking like a cave made out of trees on the outside with hidden grass in the middle, a bit away from the paths that lined the currently quiet and tranquil park, sitting down she brought the blonde onto the floor with her, laying Bernie down and straddling her hips, searching Bernie's face for a reaction, smiling when she saw a smirking blonde trauma surgeon underneath her.  
"What are you doing Ms Campbell?" she joked, her hands at her sides feeling the grass underneath her palms.  
"Nothing" Serena replied simply, pressing her lips to Bernie's neck, smiling against the skin on feeling the blonde's body arch at her touch, her head leaning back to give Serena more access.  
After covering the skin on Bernie throat and neck she unzipped her coat, spreading the sides onto the grass pushing her girlfriends t shirt and jumper up her body towards her bra, exposing her stomach to allow her to pepper her toned abdomen with kisses, delighting in the noises the woman underneath her was making, telling her how much she liked it, that she was feeling warm, that she didn't want her to stop.  
Smiling against the belly button under her lips, she continued her kisses whilst her fingers easily opened the button and zip on Bernie's jeans, pushing them down her legs to ankles, quickly stripping her own jacket off, placing this under the blonde's bum, giving the trauma surgeons knickers the same treatment, both garments pooling at her feet, unable to help herself as she buried her face straight into blonde curls, her tongue gliding up the glistening slit before her, delighting at how wet she found the woman underneath her, the action of her tongue causing a writhing Bernie to grip Serena's hair, pushing her hips more up into the brunette's face, feeling more sensitive than normal, feeling like it wouldn't take her long.

 

"God! Serena.." she panted her free hand grabbing the short strands of grass, hips arching into the woman above her, spurring the brunette on.  
"You taste and sound delicious, I've missed you" Serena purred against the pulsating pearl under her tongue, feeling Bernie's legs to start to shake with every brush of her tongue, over and around the bundle of nerves at her mercy.  
"C...close.." was all Bernie could manage to vocalise before her body tensed, her legs shaking around Serena's head, her hips pushed tight into the face of her girlfriend, moaning in ecstasy, cheeks flushed.  
"You're gorgeous" the brunette murmured, kissing back up the blonde's body, settling on top of her when she reached her lips.  
"Not as gorgeous as you" holding Serena's hips as they kissed, stroking her thumbs on the skin underneath the brunette's jumper.  
Serena smiled at the words and action, parting from the kiss to nuzzle Bernie's neck, enjoying being held by the blonde.  
"I wasn't expecting this from our walk in the park" Bernie chuckled, grinning on hearing the familiar giggle of Serena, who replied. "Me either, but when I saw this little space after you'd been romantic with my rose I couldn't resist, just like I couldn't resist you" this answer widening the already big grin of Bernie.  
"I love you so much Serena Campbell" squeezing the brunette against her.  
"I love you very much too Berenice Wolfe".  
Could this woman get anymore perfect.  
Looking after her.  
Caring for her.  
Loving her.  
Now here we are led in our own little world, her having just made love to me.  
And oh how good she does that.  
The best I've ever had and will ever have.  
Just like she is.  
She's the best.

 

"What else shall we do today?" asked the blonde, kissing Serena's hair.  
"I don't know, maybe we could have a little walk around town after here, we're nearby and it's still fairly early so won't be too busy and it'll be easy for you to stop and rest if you get too tired?" suggested Serena, not minding what they did as long as the time was spent with her girlfriend.  
"That sounds like a very good idea, we could have some food too whilst we're there" smiling at the thought of them being just a normal couple and being able to walk round town together, this would be the first time they had been there since they were drunk and dancing, not long before Bernie was injured.  
This is another milestone.  
A milestone I've reached.  
One of many I'm going to reach.  
And I'm going to do it with her by my side.  
No one else I need.  
Just her.


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You guys are in a word AWESOME, thank you as always! <3  
> Enjoy!

I should've known.  
Known that this 'walk round' would turn into shopping.  
Especially when Serena Campbell is presented with all manner of various shops and boutiques to ' browse'.  
Browse, more like go around every shop looking at every single item, just in case she missed something.  
This familiar behaviour making Bernie chuckle.  
She knew she'd do it, even if the brunette tried to convince her she was just looking.  
Serena didn't just look, she browsed in earnest.  
"What's funny?" Serena frowned on turning her head from the rail of clothes she was looking at hearing a sudden chuckle from the woman sat on one of the seats in the shop  
behind her.  
"Nothing darling" Bernie replied, smiling back.  
"Hmmm, I know you Wolfe when you chuckle like that, thinking about something no doubt" her eyes back to the clothes, picking up a jumper and holding it against herself, turning back to Bernie. "What do you think?".  
"Yeah I like that, the red suits you" racking her eyes over the upper body of her girlfriend. "Then again you'd look scrummy in a bin bag" giving Serena a wink.  
"Behave you" swatting her hand in mid air in Bernie's direction, grinning.

 

They'd had a look in some of the other shops inside the shopping centre, Serena having decided, surprise surprise, to buy the red jumper, well it was such a soft cashmere material, and it'd last her a while, plus Bernie thought it suited her so what was a girl to do except buy it.  
Moving down one side of the row of shops through the main high street, Serena came to a pause in a particular shop window, this sudden stop causing Bernie to turn around to look where she was, making her way to the brunette's side.  
"Now what have those eagle eyes spotted" she herself now looking in the window that had caught her girlfriends eye, this particular window being one of a jewellers, a rather exclusive jewellers.  
She's got a fine eye for these kind of shops.  
The ones that aren't just your regular ones.  
They're your exclusive ones, with unique pieces in them.  
Unique pieces that are that little bit more expensive.  
Ok some certain ones are certainly more than a bit.  
How do you do it Serena Campbell.  
Like a beautiful magpie, that's probably how.  
"Nothing in particular really, just..".  
"Browsing yes I know" Bernie cutting and finishing her sentence, being met with a swat from the woman next to her, to which she laughed at the action.  
"Ooo I like those..." pointing out a set of earrings. "Oh that ring is glorious too, look at how it sparkles in the sun, the stones are beautiful" Bernie's eyes flicking between the items her girlfriend was pointing out.  
That is rather a nice ring, but so are lots of others.  
I don't know how anyone chooses between them sometimes.  
I suppose there's always one that catches your eye and there's something different about it, something unique.  
Just like the one she's spotted.  
And to be fair it is rather nice.

 

"I've never seen stones sparkle like that in a ring before, it's so pretty" the brunette's eyes seemingly transfixed on the ring behind the glass.  
What a ring that is.  
Some people might not understand why I like what I like but they couldn't deny how pretty it is.  
Such a nice white gold band with diamonds coming half way up each side, meeting at the top of the little teeth that held a pure set diamond in place, all the stone glittering away, reflections of colours shining from all sides in the sun.  
Glorious.  
"Would you ever get married again?" the unexpected question abruptly bringing Serena's attention from the ring and straight to the woman who'd asked it.  
"I'm sorry what?".  
"I said would you ever get married again?" Bernie repeated, only this time quieter than previously given how Serena had responded to the question, seeing the brunette furrow her brow as she considered the question and her answer.  
"Erm..well, I...I hadn't given the subject much thought after...after Edward, men like him don't give you much hope or faith in the whole process.." feeling Bernie's eyes on her, listening intently, continuing. "But...but that was Edward and how he chose to behave and treat me, not anyone else...not you".  
Bernie's eyes moved to her hands that were clasped in front of her, then to Serena, to the ring in the window and then back to her hands, her mind whirring with thoughts and possibilities, questions, possible answers.  
Do I ask her?  
What would she say?  
What would she think?  
Then again it's her.  
It's Serena.  
My Serena.  
Tightening and then releasing her now balled fists Bernie looked up to Serena.  
Straight into her eyes.  
Those eyes she loved.  
Honest eyes.  
Loving eyes.  
Serena's eyes.

 

"M..Marry me?" Bernie asked, eyes locked with the other woman's.  
"What?".  
"I said...marry me?" her voice shaking on saying the words again.  
Serena looked at the woman by her side, her eyes blinking a couple of times as the words that had just travelled to her ears actually became understood by her brain.  
Did she actually just say that?  
She asked me to marry her?  
Me marry Bernie?  
Bernie marry me?  
Her be my wife?  
I be hers.  
Whose name to choose?  
Mine, hers, double barrel?  
"It's ok, forget it, I shouldn't have asked, it was a stupid idea, sorry" Bernie mumbled quickly, turning on her heels, starting to walk away from the shop window, feeling stupid for asking such a question in the first place.  
I shouldn't have asked her.  
What a silly idea.  
Not exactly romantic.  
Stupid Bernie.  
"Yes".  
The one word that stopped the blonde in her tracks, forcing her to turn back to the brunette.  
"What?".  
"I said..." stepping up close to the trauma surgeon. "Yes, I will marry you" cocking an eyebrow along with a wide smile to Bernie.  
Bernie smiled widely at the response, wrapping her arms around the brunette and cuddling her tight. "I love you" she whispered, feeling Serena squeeze her gently.  
"I love you too, very much" Serena whispered back, her lips pressing to Bernie's when they parted from their cuddled, standing in the middle of the street not caring who saw them.

 

Leaning down Bernie eskimo kissed Serena after coming up for air after their little make out session.  
"You need a ring now Ms Campbell" watching Serena smile and nod.  
"I guess I do yes".  
"How about that one?" motioning to the one that had caught Serena's attention in the window.  
Serena's eyes widened on hearing the suggestion.  
"That one, oh I don't know about that, have you seen the price of it Bernie?".  
"Yes, I have. Do you like it?".  
She nodded. "You know I do".  
"Would you like to have that one?".  
Again she nodded. "Of course I would".  
"Then that's the ring the lady shall get, let's go in and see if they have your size hm?" her arm snaking around Serena's waist, both of them looking at the ring.  
"If you're sure Bernie?" wanting the blonde to be ok paying the price tag that was attached to said ring in the window.  
"More than sure, come on you" leading them both into the jewellers, not moving from Serena's side.  
A short while later they appeared from the shop, smiles on both women's face, a sparkly addition to Serena's left hand, but also one on Bernie's left hand.  
"Let's have a look at it now we're outside" Bernie said, taking Serena's hand in hers and holding it up to see, the stones sparkling like beacons in the sun. "The sparkle on that is something for sure" to which she caught the equally beaming smile of Serena.  
"Let's see yours?" Serena said, taking Bernie's left hand, the trauma surgeon deciding to choose a plain white gold band, a single diamond sitting at the top, simple but elegant she thought. "It suits you very well....fiancée" the word causing Bernie to grin, capturing Serena's lips in a bruising kiss, guiding them into a nearby restaurant doorway, closed restaurant of course.  
"God you're so beautiful, you're perfect" Bernie commented against Serena's lips. "I'm so lucky to have you, and to be able to have you as my wife is mind blowing".  
Serena grinned against the kiss, parting to gaze into Bernie's eyes, holding the lapels of the blonde's coat.   
"You're perfect, my perfect, amazing Bernie. I can't wait to be your wife, Serena Wolfe....what do you think?".  
Bernie couldn't help chuckle at Serena saying those words, words she never thought she hear her say, never dreamed she'd say.  
"It sounds...faultless, impeccable, ideal" her eyes shining with unshed tears.  
"Sweetheart" seeing the tears in Bernie's eyes, cupping her face. "What is it?" concern in her voice for the other woman.  
"Just...just, I never thought I'd be lucky enough to get a chance with you, let alone marry you, get to call you my wife" tears breaking over her lower eyelashes and spilling down her cheeks.

 

"And you think I did, after Edward and all the stunts and tricks he pulled, all the cheating, drinking and god only knows what else he did that I wasn't privy too, then along you came, all your big macho army medic stuff, sneaking into my psyche, looking out for me, supporting me, our friendship growing, then suddenly feelings, feelings that came out in the shape of that kiss on the operating theatre floor, that was it then, the change, the change that started in me, seeing you in a different light even though I tried at first to deny it, deny I didn't feel it, that I was dyed in the wool heterosexual, that I didn't have those kind of feelings for you, but I did. And by god did they grow, they grew at such a rate that I couldn't deny them to anyone anymore, let alone try to do this to myself, I'd fallen for you, and fallen hard, I'd fallen in love with a woman and not just any woman, a brave, sensitive, funny, hard working, talented, kind, magnificent woman, that woman being you. The woman I love like I never thought was possible to love someone, who makes me the happiest I've ever been, the woman who I can't wait to be married to, to be able to say yes I'm her wife and she's mine"  
Pulling the brunette close to her she captured her lips again, pouring her feelings of the last few moments of listening to Serena and how she was feeling inside into the kiss, wanting to make doubly sure her message was getting across to her.  
God I love you Serena Campbell.  
And to marry you is going to be the most amazing day.  
The most amazing day with the most amazing woman  
My amazing woman.  
Becoming my wife.  
My wife.  
No one else's.  
Mine.


	48. Chapter 48

"Are you actually serious, look at the size of that bag!" Serena said as Bernie put a large bag of crisps into the trolley.  
"What I like them?!" smirking to match Serena's equally cheeky smile.  
"I can tell you do" shaking her head at the blonde continuing to move down the aisles, crossing into the alcohol aisle, Bernie having not had a drink since her accident, the medication she was on being too strong to mix anything with.  
"Shiraz?" Bernie said leaning on the trolley, making their way down the aisle, watching Serena move to one of the shelves, a woman already there looking at the wine.  
"What else" she smiled, turning back to what she was doing, the blonde gazing at the other side of the aisle, not really listening on the conversation that was taking place across from her.  
Wandering her eyes over the bottles, Bernie frowned on hearing laughing coming from the women nearby, looking to see Serena laughing.  
That other woman was clearly flirting with Serena, she could tell by the way she stood near her, got close to her, tried to make her laugh, give her wine suggestions.  
The noise of their laughter, the lights of the shops, along with the noises going on around her caused Bernie to start swallowing on feeling her mouth turning acrid, her palms sweating, heartbeat increasing.  
She needs to stay away from Serena.  
Stop flirting.  
I can feel myself getting warm.  
But not a pleasant warm.  
A panic warm.  
Sweaty palms.  
Fuzzy head.  
Chest getting tight.

 

"Get off her..." shuffling across to the two women on seeing the other woman go to put her hand near the brunette, Serena's eyes darting to the hand nearby her and then up at the blonde, concern veiling her face.  
"Sweetheart, what is it?" eyes roaming Bernie's features, not liking how pale her fiancée had suddenly gone.  
"She shouldn't...shouldn't be near you, she needs to go away.." eyes pooling with tears, her breathing becoming more erratic, trying to continue speaking. "I can't...I can't breathe properly" grabbing her own jumper.  
She's hyperventilating.  
She's panicking and having a panic attack.  
Come on Serena sort it, help her.  
Instinct took over in that very moment, her arms encircling the blonde to keep her upright and so she didn't have as much weight on her legs, moving them both down to the bottom of the aisle and into a quiet corner with no shoppers.  
"It's alright darling, it's alright, just breathe with me, that's it, I'm here, it's ok you're going to be fine" making sure Bernie's eyes were with hers, taking slow deep breaths. "That's it, there you go" feeling the blonde's chest start to settle into a slower pattern of breathing, Bernie's tears coming down her cheeks on her panic subsiding, eyes looking straight at Serena, still a tad wide after the recent adrenaline surge.  
"Everything is okay" the whisper into the blonde's ear, combing soothingly through her curls with her fingers, feeling the body in her arms relax.  
"I'm sorry" Bernie sniffed, hazel eyes closed enjoying the soothing touch of Serena.  
She'd never had many of these before, but since all the surgery and all that came with it anxiety had flared up now and again, apparently this was normal due to the frightening circumstances of her brain injury.  
She knows just what I need.  
All I said is I can't breathe properly and she knew.  
Instinctively knew what I meant.  
What I needed.  
How to calm me.  
To help me.

 

"Don't you be saying sorry, it's not your fault, ok?".  
Bernie nodded, slowly opened her eyes, her lashes wet from the tears.  
"How are you feeling now?" enquired Serena, one arm around Bernie's waist.  
"Ok, just bit tired, it's...draining" eyes with Serena's, to which the vascular surgeon nodded.  
"How about we finish this shopping then go home and cook some nice food, then snuggle up in front of the TV?".  
Smiling Bernie nodded at the idea. "Sounds like a good plan".  
Making their way back to their trolley, Bernie taking the role of pushing it again, they walked up and down the remaining aisles picking up what bits they needed, heading to the till to pay.  
Shopping in and then away, Bernie was sat on the sofa as instructed by a certain brunette whilst she was in the kitchen cooking, apparently she was going to take care of the dinner tonight, not that she hadn't done this most nights for the past however long it'd been since Bernie had been back home, but she was doing it again to allow the blonde to rest after what for her had been quite a busy day.  
The TV on low in the background, Bernie fiddled with her hands, feeling like she should actually be doing something to help Serena rather than be sat here doing well...nothing.  
Rising from the sofa, she padded quietly to the kitchen door, leaning against the door frame, just watching her.  
Watching the way she moved around the space, gracefully, elegantly, organised, knowing exactly what needed to be done and how long the other things had.  
Bloody hell Wolfe you're lucky.  
Look who you've managed to bag yourself and have agree to be your wife.  
Jammy sod.  
Talk about hitting the jackpot.  
She's the jackpot.  
The star prize.  
My star.  
All mine.  
Lucky me.  
Very lucky.

 

Smiling to herself she crossed the floor, snaking her arms around the brunette's waist, being greeted by a soft squeal and then a giggle.  
"You made me jump!" snuggling back against the blonde, her head against Bernie's shoulder, smiling at the gesture.  
Bernie chuckled. "I couldn't resist you" placing a kiss to Serena's temple.  
"Is that so, been watching me have you by any chance?".  
I swear to god she's got eyes in the back of her head.  
Doesn't miss a trick.  
"May have been".  
"I'd say you have" smirking at her own right answer.  
"And if I had been" placing soft kisses on Serena's neck under her ear.  
Serena closed her eyes at the touch, relaxing more against Bernie.  
"Well...I'd say..I'd say..." not finishing her sentence feeling the blonde swap sides with her kisses, hands creeping under the brunette's camisole, stroking over her stomach, causing her to moan softly.  
Bernie smiled against her neck, continuing her ministrations on her skin, sneaking her fingertips down under the waistband of the brunette's lounge pants, down into her knickers and towards her warm wetness, the blonde groaning softly feeling Serena's arousal on her fingers.  
"God.." she groaned, trailing her fingers through it. "So wet..".  
"Uh huh" Serena replied breathlessly, pushing Bernie's hand against her more. "Please...".  
The blonde smiled at the words. "Please what?" she teased.  
"Y..you know what, I need you..." voice dripping with want for her fiancée.

 

No more words, turning the brunette around to face her, crashing their lips together, her hand returning to its previous position, free hand pushing the barriers of the lounge pants and knickers off Serena's hips, sliding two fingers easily into the other woman, her thumb brushing her clit working her fingers in and out.  
Serena moaned on being filled, leaning back against the counter top, these moans echoing around her girlfriends mouth on their tongues wrestling, hips pumping on Bernie's fingers, her breathing descending into heavy pants.  
God she's sexy, sexy as hell I've missed this so much.  
Just as I've missed her.  
Hearing her.  
Feeling her.  
God woman what you do to me.  
"Don't st..." the barely audible words, or half words through the now frantic pumping of hips, and pleasurable all be it loud moans coming from a certain vascular surgeon as she rode her girlfriends hand to climax, aided by the unrelenting rubbing over her swollen clit from Bernie's thumb, releasing her built up wetness all over the blonde's hand, before slumping against the trauma surgeons shoulder, trying to slow her rapid heartbeat, feeling a supportive arm around her waist.  
"Mmmm" Bernie whispered into her ear, kissing the shell. "Gorgeous".  
"I...I've missed that" Serena replied on lifting her head up to look into those hazel eyes looking at her, her breathing somewhat calmer than a few minutes ago.  
"Me too, it's my stupid hands you see" being stopped from saying anymore by Serena trailing Bernie's hand resting between her thighs over her wetness, her eyes on the blonde.  
"Not stupid at all, the opposite, hmm?" watching Bernie smile at the gesture and then nod in agreement , wrapping both of her arms around Serena's waist and holding her close.  
"Suits you does that ring" Bernie whispered, feeling the brunette's cheek raise as she smiled against Bernie's chest.  
"I think it does too, my gorgeous fiancée got it for me, she suits hers too, very much so you know" it was now Bernie's turn to smile.  
"Oh really, well she sounds like a lucky woman".  
"She is but I'd say I'm luckier" was the quick reply from the brunette, being answered with Bernie shaking her head and capturing her lips in a soft kiss.  
"Never" she replied, holding the vascular surgeon close.

 

She thinks she's luckier.  
I think I'm luckier.  
What a pair we are.  
That's exactly what we are.  
Yeah it's not been easy since her injury but when is life easy all the time.  
Never.  
But I know life is that bit easier with my Major at my side.  
My soon to be wife.  
Serena Wolfe.  
Serena Wolfe.  
Bernie Wolfe's wife.  
I like that.  
I like it a lot.  
A hell of a lot.  
A smile creeping over her lips at the thought, standing in the arms of the very woman it was going to happen with.


	49. Chapter 49

"I couldn't help it!".  
"Well I think in a way you could!".  
This exchange had been going for a couple of minutes.  
The blonde insisting that the woman who she'd seen near Serena in the restaurant they'd just been to, had been that close to her she was near enough groping her and or flirting at the same time, hence her reaction in asking said woman to leave her fiancée alone and that yes she did have a ring on her finger or did the woman now need glasses for the purposes of seeing the ring.  
All the while the brunette stood in the middle, or well at least tried to so that there wouldn't be a risk of something erupting, she'd not a clue what had gotten into the trauma surgeon, it happened as they were leaving, stood waiting to pay and she said she'd seen this woman looking all night from the bar, then she came over apparently as they were paying and then leaving.  
"How many times!? No.I.Couldn't" her eyes blazing as she looked at the brunette.  
How many times do I actually have to say it to her before she listens.  
How many times.  
I don't understand why she won't believe me.  
I've just been honest.  
What more does she want?  
"And as I've said I think you could, I don't know what you think that woman was doing but it wasn't what you thought" Serena gave back, her eyes straight on the blonde, both women stood in the kitchen.  
"It bloody was, jeez, she'd been looking at you from the minute we walked into the place, eyes were on stalks from her, sat there up at the bar!".  
Serena shook her head, her eyebrows raising.  
"Don't be so ridiculous!".  
"I'm not, how many bloody times, she was looking, no fuck looking, she was ogling you Serena!".  
"Stop, just stop Bernie, enough, enough is enough! This is just ridiculous! You're being ridiculous".  
"Stop saying that, stop calling me ridiculous, I'm not!".

 

"You are, how else do you expect me to react when you behave like this? You were near to that other woman, very near, anything could've happened".  
Bernie shook her head, grabbing the nearest thing to her, this being a tea towel hung up on the handle of the oven, squeezing it in her fist.  
"Stop! I'm not like that I'm not, I just don't like it when women behave like that towards you, it's not right".  
"For goodness sakes Bernie, she didn't do anything, ok yes she was close to me, but I didn't see anything. You're acting mad..." suddenly stopping mid sentence realising what she'd just said and what it could imply or how it could be taken, not really intending to say it, the heat of the situation getting the better of her.  
Bernie's eyes widened at the statement, hand shaking on squeezing the towel even tighter.  
"Don't you say that, don't you fucking say that to me. I'm not mad, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not mad, all I was doing was stepping in when some random woman decided it would be alright for her to sit there and ogle you and then when we go to pay she gets uncomfortably close to you, too close to my fiancée, which I don't like" putting the tea towel down, shuffling on the spot and tugging at her left hand, slipping the ring from her finger and putting it down on the kitchen surface. "So there you go, you obviously don't want to be with someone who's mad and going to create a scene when she sees someone getting too close to you and ogling you in what she deems an inappropriate way, that rules me out" her eyes shining with tears, which then started down her cheeks, the towel being picked up again and launched at the fridge with a frustrated cry, barging past the stunned brunette.  
Moving through the house and out of the front door, Bernie walked as fast as her legs would carry her down the drive and up the street out of the cul de sac, turning right and heading to the nearby woods.  
"Bernie stop!" Serena shouted moving a little way behind her, trying her best to catch up to the figure who'd now disappeared through the gate and into the woods, the surroundings being plunged further into darkness since it'd moved later in the evening since they'd returned from the restaurant, not the ideal time to be in the woods, not the ideal time at all, not for Serena at least, Bernie on the other hand didn't mind being in woods or surroundings of this nature anytime night or day.

 

Bloody hell, how did tonight come to this.  
End up with me being in the woods and Bernie being god knows where too.  
I didn't mean what I said.  
It just came out, slipped out.  
In the heat of the moment.  
I just said it, and I shouldn't have.  
Of all the bloody things to say, it had to be that.  
Shit.  
The brunette glanced around where she stood, every which way she turned all looking the same.  
"Bernie? Bernie?!" sighing when she heard nothing, nothing but a couple of birds emerging from the branches above her head.  
Where is she?  
Is she even in here anymore?  
She could have gone anywhere by now.  
Be out the other side of the wood.  
Gone anywhere.  
Any place.  
"BERNIE!!!!??" she shouted as loud as she could, jumping at a noise behind her, a rustling, causing her heart to beat that bit quicker.  
A frog.  
A bloody frog.  
Stupid thing nearly gave me a heart attack.

 

That's it you hop along not a care in the world, maybe you can find a blonde trauma surgeon on your travels into the woods whilst you're going.  
Eyes surveying her surroundings the brunette took a step into the woods, and then another, all the time her eyes keeping a look out for anything that she didn't feel comfortable with, not that walking through the wood when it was going dark was making the uncomfortable feelings any easier, quite the opposite.  
Then another rustle, a louder rustle, that loud it made her turn right around, right around to see a familiar figure looking straight back at her.  
Bernie.  
"Don't you come near me!" the blonde shouted on seeing the advancing vascular surgeon.  
"Bernie please!".  
"No!" her eyes wide looking straight at the brunette.  
Panic.  
She looks panicked.  
Tired.  
I can see her hazel eyes but also the whites of her eyes.  
I've only seen this recently after she's had an panic attack.  
Jeez how did it come to this.  
Bump!

 

"I'm so sorry I should've watched where I was going...Bernie?" Lily frowned, confused and surprised on seeing the senior doctor in front of her on her regular run route, Bernie being the last person she'd expected to see tonight, and having not seen the trauma surgeon since her head injury. "Ms Campbell".  
"Dr Kurtz" Serena nodded, immediately turning back to the blonde.  
Lily looked between the two of them not the slightest clue what was going on but recognising that Bernie seemed distressed.  
"Is everything ok?" watching the blonde step towards her, her eyes moving to Serena and then back to Bernie.  
"Yes thank you Dr Kurtz" Serena replied, moving towards Bernie.  
"No, go away" Bernie quickly replied, tensing her jaw in frustration.  
Again Lily looked between them, not sure what to do under the circumstances.  
"Erm.." the young doctor started biting her bottom lip.  
"Is your house nearby?" Bernie asked, Serena as shocked as Lily at the question.  
"Erm...well, it's not too far yes".  
"Would I...would I be able to come back for a little while please?".  
Lily's eyes widen a little in surprise at the request, looking to Serena and then back at Bernie, not knowing what to do for the best.  
"Erm...if..if you want to and it'll help you, then of course" not knowing what had gone on but wanting to help Bernie who she sensed was rather upset.  
"Can we go please, now" wiping her eyes and starting to walk away.  
"I erm, I don't know any of what's happened but I'll let you know we're back safe. Are you going to be ok Ms Campbell?" feeling torn between Bernie and leaving the vascular surgeon who also seemed upset too.  
Serena looked back to Lily at the sound of her name from watching the blonde surgeon.  
"Not really but just get her inside, text me when you're both safe" wiping a tear that escaped from her eyes, it now being her turn to walk in the direction of the house.


	50. Chapter 50

Having got back to Lily's house, the young woman made her way upstairs quickly to pull some jogging bottoms and a t shirt on, changing her running gear she made her way back downstairs, Bernie sat on the sofa, her head in her hands.  
Sitting next to her she put her own hands in her lap, not quite knowing what to say.  
"Would you like a drink? Tea, coffee?".  
Bernie shook her head.  
"Are you sure, you look rather cold and it'd help warm you up...".  
This time Bernie nodded her head.  
Leaving said woman, she made her way into the kitchen, making them both a cup of tea, adding a bit more sugar to Bernie's to try and help calm her, setting them both down on the coffee table and retaking her position on the sofa.  
"Here we go, try and drink it eh?" watching as Bernie slowly started to lift her head from her hands, Lily now able to see how red the older woman's eyes were from crying, her face ashen and looking distraught, her heart tightening on seeing Bernie's face crease in upset, tears cascading down her cheeks, collapsing into sobs onto Lily's shoulder, the young doctor naturally putting her arms around Bernie, comforting her.

 

"Shhh, shhhh, it's alright" she soothed, holding her close, closing her own eyes as Bernie's body shook with her sobs.  
"It's not..it's not" she cried, gripping Lily's t shirt in her fists.  
"Why isn't it?" not wanting to pry.  
"B...Because she thinks I'm mad, she thinks I'm mad but I'm not, I'm not mad.." trying to breathe the words through her sobs.  
Lily's brow furrowed in slightly confusion at what Bernie said, not quite understanding.  
"I don't understand, what do you mean, what did she say?".  
"We...we went out tonight, a woman wouldn't take her eyes off her, then she came very close to her when we were leaving, moved her hands to near enough grope her then pulled them away at the last minute when I saw what she was doing out the corner of my eye. So because I saw this and didn't like it, I had a word with this woman and got in her face a bit, we got home and had an argument, she said I went too far, I said I didn't, there was a bit of shouting, then she said I was mad but then stopped suddenly when she said it, she chased me when I left the house and now here I am" the words coming out in a rush, her breath hitching again, cries resuming as she recalled the last couple of hours, burying her face back into Lily's t shirt.  
Processing the information she'd just been given, Lily kept her arms around the older woman, gently brushing her thumbs on her back to try and soothe her a little.  
From what she's told me I don't think Serena meant it in the way Bernie took it.  
It maybe wasn't the best choice of phrase but I doubt Serena would actually mean she thought Bernie was mad.  
And with Bernie still recovering from her head injury maybe it all got confused and misconstrued, head injury patients are known to be more sensitive and a bit more agitated in certain heated situations, especially when these situations include loved ones.  
Maybe that's what has happened here.  
She certainly seems agitated, distressed and upset.  
Tired too.  
Emotional exhaustion.

 

"Shhh, it's ok, it'll be ok Bernie" she reassured softly, keeping her arms around her, holding her close.  
Bernie shook her head, grabbing more of Lily's t shirt.  
"Shhh. Here try and drink some of this, it should be cooler now" picking up the mug from the table and offering it to her, the older woman taking a few sips, pausing and then drinking some more before Lily replaced the mug back to where it'd come from.  
"Maybe I should ring Serena and get her to come and collect you soon, hm?" not sure what to do for the best, having not been in this situation before.  
Bernie shook her head against Lily's chest.  
"Hmm?".  
"I don't...don't want to. Please can I just stay here, please?" looking to the young woman with her tear stained face and sad eyes.  
"Ok,ok you can, but let me just ring Serena to let her know what's happening, I'll be back in a minute" settling Bernie back to the sofa, moving out into the hallway and dialling Serena's number.  
"Hello?".  
"Hello Serena it's Lily here".  
"How is Bernie? Is everything ok?".  
"She's fine, well not fine exactly but she's safe here, she's saying she wants to stay here, I said about you collecting her but she said no, I don't know what else to do Serena, sorry".  
She could hear the sigh on the end of the line from the brunette.  
"If she wants to stay there then if that's ok with you then that's what she wants. I'd want nothing more than her to be here but if she doesn't want that then.." she trailed off sadly.  
"She...she told me what happened, it sounds to me like a bit of a misunderstanding, that it was said in the heat of the moment, given the circumstances" trying to comfort the other woman on the phone.  
"It...It was, I didn't mean to say it" pausing to try and steady herself from crying again.  
Lily gave the brunette a minute before speaking again.  
"She'll be ok and safe here tonight, I could try and talk to her if you'd like, it's up to you?" not wanting to intrude too much into their business, but leaving the offer open.  
"Erm..well, I'm not sure...." sighing to herself Serena continued. "You can try seen as she clearly is too angry to talk to me".  
"Ok I'll have a word and please try not to worry, it'll get sorted and be alright Ms Campbell" trying her best to reassure the other woman too.  
"Thank you" putting the phone down.  
Sighing to herself and sliding her phone back into her pocket, Lily made her way back into the living room, the blonde unmoving from her position on the sofa, looking up as Lily entered and sat down.

 

"I let her know you'll be here tonight just so she knows you're safe, that's all sorted now" Bernie nodded, shuffling into Lily's side, resting her head on her shoulder, closing her eyes.  
"Can....Can you hold me tonight please, I just need to be held" came the barely audible whisper, a pleading tone in her voice.  
Lily wandered her eyes over the figure leant against her, the trauma surgeon, usually so strong, so sure, so together, now so fragile, upset, vulnerable, needing of some comfort and help, help that she'd asked Lily for.  
"Sure, come here" getting into a more comfortable position led down, Bernie curling up into her, her body relaxing on feeling Lily's arms around her, hazel eyes closing, her head on Lily's shoulder, holding onto her t shirt.  
"Try and get some sleep, it'll all be ok Bernie" gently rubbing her back, leaning her head against the top of the blonde's head.  
I wish I could do something to help, to help both of them.  
It's hard being in the middle, Bernie wanting to be here but then Serena being back at hers.  
I know Jason is in but it's not the same as having someone there to talk to.  
Someone to comfort you.  
Maybe I should pay her a visit in work tomorrow.  
I'm sure she's on shift with me.  
Maybe I could talk to at the end of the shift.  
Talk to her after I've had a word with Bernie.  
Something to get them talking again.  
Get them to bang their heads together.  
Something.  
Anything.

 

"It's ok, it's just a bad dream.." Lily soothed a few hours later, Bernie jumping in her sleep, eyes wide, glancing up to the young doctor.  
How the hell did things come to this.  
One minute Serena and I are having dinner, then a bust up and now here I am exhausted, angry and in the arms of a young doctor.  
If she'd have just believed me.  
Believed what I said about that woman.  
If only we'd not argued.  
Ended up in those woods.  
Then things might have been different.  
Very different.  
Sighing to herself she retook her position, closing her eyes and listening to the steady breathing and heartbeat of the woman underneath her, this being the kind of thing she needed to hear at that precise moment.  
Calm.  
Quiet.  
Peaceful.


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You guys are just awesome, awesome people, thank you!! :D  
> Enjoy! :)

"Yes come in?".  
"Ms Campbell..".  
"Oh Dr Kurtz, can I help you, I was just about to leave".  
"I know, I wanted to catch you before you did, I wanted to have a word about Bernie, Ms Wolfe".  
The name making Serena stop in her tracks, sitting down in her chair and offering a visitor chair to the young woman.  
"Yes?" encouraging her to continue.  
"I think...I think what happened last night was a misunderstanding, one that caused you both a lot of obvious distress and upset" watching as Serena looked down to her hands.  
"Obviously" was the clipped answer from the brunette.  
Lily sighed.  
"Look what do you want exactly?" Serena asked, sharply, looking directly at Lily.  
Lily raised her eyebrows at the tone of the woman's question.  
"I'd like you to not be as sharp with me, I'm only trying to help, help you both".  
I'm only trying to help.  
I know it's not easy for either of them but it's nothing to do with me.  
Wrong place at the wrong time for me so it seems.  
Serena sighed and closed her eyes.

 

"I'm sorry, it's just I don't know what to do, she obviously doesn't want to be anywhere near me, the look in her eyes last night, it was horrible".  
"She does, she's just angry, she was angry, she misconstrued something during your argument, something that was said in the heat of the moment, something not meant. I've spoken to her, tried to explain this, that stuff said in the argument were just that, said in an argument, that you didn't mean it, because I know you wouldn't have, not really".  
"What did she say?".  
"I think she understood, seen as she'd had some time to calm down, I think she needed that processing time and someone else to tell her that you didn't mean it, that it was easy to have taken it like she did given the nature of the discussion" her eyes catching sight of a small box on the desk in front of the vascular surgeon, causing Lily to frown and then ask."What's that?".  
Serena followed Lily's eyes to the box and sighed, opening it.  
"Her engagement ring, she took it off and left it in the kitchen, said about me not wanting to be with someone like her. But, but I do, I really do, all I want is her and now she doesn't want me" the box going back onto the desk, her head going into her hands, beginning to cry at the thought of losing Bernie.  
Lily rubbed her upper arm, trying to offer some comfort to the woman in front of her.  
"It's ok Ms Campbell, she does want you, things just got a bit complicated, complicated for nothing, a misunderstanding. I'd like to say something else if I may?" brown eyes appearing from her hands to look at the woman next to her.  
"I think, I think she might benefit from some sort of...some sort of counselling, something to help her process things that she finds difficult that bit better, also something to help her overcome what's happened to her, she seems to have some sort of anger and hurt locked up, anger at what she feels she's lost, her loss making her angry. Also this kind of loss, it can make you doubt yourself, doubt if you're good enough, make you ask if you've got all your faculties mentally, like you had them before and if there's any kind of doubt then I think this could be a reason why she reacts as she does. Yeah you've agreed to marry her, but I think she herself doubts if she's still good enough for you, despite what she's been told in the past, maybe a professional teamed up with you at her side is that extra bit of support she might need, from what I've observed, Bernie isn't one for reaching out for help or admitting if she actually needs it. Just a thought though" she shrugged.

 

Serena nodded as she took in what the other woman had just said to her "I think you might have a valid point there to be honest, she doesn't seem to be progressing as well in that side of her recovery compared to the physical side, she's been struggling I suppose you'd say".  
"She's been through a lot of a lot, you both have. It's a tough road for the pair of you, her because she's the one it happened to and you because you're the one at her side, having to watch her go through it, not being able to physically take her pain etc away".  
"It has been and is hard" Serena admitted, rubbing her forehead.  
Fiddling in her pocket Lily pulled out a set of keys and put them on the desk in front of Serena.  
"My house keys, maybe you'd like to go round and see her, talk to her, I'll go somewhere for a couple of hours".  
"Thank you, hopefully she'll not kick me out" giving the young woman a weak smile, collecting her bag and the keys, heading out of the office.  
Pulling up outside the house Serena looked at herself in the sun visor mirror, sighing at her reflection, getting out of the car and quietly letting herself into the house with Lily's keys.  
"Lily?" called the voice from the living room.  
Bernie.  
That was definitely Bernie.  
I'd know that voice anywhere.  
Any place, any time.  
Anywhere.

 

Pushing the door open her eyes immediately fell on the figure sat on the sofa.  
Bernie.  
The blonde getting up on seeing Serena enter the room, not expecting her.  
"Oh" the only word that left her mouth, not quite sure what else to say.  
"It's me, Lily gave me her keys, said I could come and see you, talk, so here I am" her eyes not moving from Bernie.  
Bernie motioned to the chair and sofa, retaking her place on the sofa, Serena sitting next to her, her jacket and bag on the chair.  
"So.." Bernie started, waiting for Serena to continue.  
"I miss you" Serena offered. "What's happened between us, it's horrible, I can't stand it, any of it, I hate not having you at home, it's not home without you, it never is when you're not there. What happened, what I said, I didn't mean it, not at all, I shouldn't have said it, at all, it just came out in the heat of the moment, slipped out and as soon as I heard it I regretted it, wanted to take it back, to not have said it. I'm sorry Bernie, I know you're not mad, not at all, what happened at the restaurant....I didn't see anything, didn't notice, but...but if you say that's what she was doing then I believe you and I know you wouldn't do something like that or react that way for nothing" eyes on Bernie.  
"She did try to grope you, she wouldn't take her eyes off you from the minute we walked in to the minute we were leaving and then to go to touch you, to disrespect you in that way I can't stand it, can't stand anyone behaving that way to you, it's not right, don't care if they're a man or woman, no one behaves like that towards you. I had to do something, get her away from you and if that meant squaring up to her so she got the message then so be it, hence my behaviour. I probably seemed too much to you because you didn't see what she did when she was nearby, so maybe thought I was over reacting but I wasn't, I maybe many things but I'm not like that, you made me feel like I was due to you 'telling me off', made me feel in the wrong for wanting to protect you, then made me feel even more ate up by...by the argument we had" dipping her eyes, sniffing softly, biting her tongue so didn't cry.  
Watching the blonde dip her head, Serena knew exactly what she was trying to do, trying to prevent, her thoughts being confirmed on tilting the head of the blonde to look at her, the tears shining clearly in her eyes, this vision alone causing Serena's eyes to do the same.  
"I miss you, I love you and I'm so sorry, please come home sweetheart, come home and..." reaching over into her handbag and picking a ring box out, opening it to reveal Bernie's engagement ring. "Please would you put it back on, put it back on and come home, could we start again, please?" her eyes pleading.

 

Bernie looked between the woman in front of her and the engagement ring.  
"Y...You still want to marry me?".  
"Of course I do, I'd never not want to marry you!" Serena insisted, moving the ring closer to Bernie.  
"I'm...I'm sorry..." Bernie mumbled tearfully, throwing her arms around the brunette and then burying her face into her neck, shuffling into her lap, wanting to be as close as she could.  
"Think we both are responsible for a bit miscommunication, but it's sorted now and we start again, I never want to be without you" she whispered into the blonde's hair, squeezing Bernie into her.  
"And me too, I need you, I love you, no one understands me like you do".  
Serena smiled at the response giving Bernie's hair another kiss.  
"I think maybe, maybe we owe Lily a thank you too".  
Bernie nodded in agreement, adding. "She spoke to you?".  
"Yeah she did, came into the office at the end of the shift, gave me her keys so I could come and see you, said we should talk and sort it, she also had a suggestion of maybe some counselling for you, something to help you process what's happened to you, help you deal with some of the mental frustration and pain it's caused you and what you might still be going through, I think...I think she might have a point, what do you think?" unsure how Bernie would react to the suggestion.  
"I...I do struggle sometimes, it's...it's hard, hard to make sense of in my head sometimes, there are some days when there seems to be so much going on that my brain doesn't know how to deal with it, make sense of it, not let it make me frustrated and express it in an none helpful and angry way" she sighed, feeling the stroking of Serena's hand on the small of her back.  
"Maybe then it'd help you in a few ways, help you feel better, make you feel less tense and agitated. I'll come along to support you if you wanted me too, that's not in question".  
Bernie nodded. "I think it might be an idea, a good one" brushing her nose against Serena's neck, breathing in the smell of her skin.  
That smell.  
Her smell.  
The smell that comforts me.  
I've missed her smell.  
The softness of her skin.  
Even after a night I miss it.  
I couldn't not miss it.  
Miss her.


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3 to you guys!!!

"But I dunno about this I really don't" Lily protested, unsure on who she was going to be introduced to, Bernie had decided that she'd found someone that she reckon would be a good match to the young junior doctor, someone who Lily might like, this certain woman being kept a mystery to the young woman.  
"I do, I think you'll get on and she'll like you and vice versa" Bernie insisted down the phone, having given Lily a time and quiet bar for the meeting with this mystery woman.  
Lily sighed. "I'm no good at things like this, you know I'm not Bernie" feeling the nerves rising as she walked through town, the heels on her ankle boots clicking as she walked, dressed in skinny jeans and a form fitting short sleeved shirt, her makeup natural and hair into loose curls, biker jacket over the top.  
"It'll be fine, it's the least I can do after your help with Serena and I, you trust me don't you?" Bernie said, sensing the young woman's nerves.  
"Y..Yes, I'm just...I'm nervous, after Abby and what she did, well y'know.." stopping to catch her breath on seeing the bar not far away.  
"I know, I know but this woman isn't like Abby, not at all, I wouldn't put you in that kind of situation, I wouldn't do that to you".  
Another breath closing her eyes and then opening them again.  
"I know you wouldn't, sorry" Lily mumbled.  
"You don't have to apologise, just trust me and see how it goes, I honestly do think you'll get on and like each other, ok?".  
"Ok, ok" Lily replied. "Listen I'd better go hadn't I she'll be waiting and you did say 7:30 and I don't want to be late if there's potential here, I'll let you know how it goes".  
"Ok, text me later and remember enjoy, you'll be fine and she'll like you, you're a nice girl Lily" this causing Lily to smile, saying her goodbyes to Bernie, sliding her phone in her pocket and walking to the main door of the bar.

 

Thank god she picked this place, seems quiet, not too rowdy or loud, nice place, not too much.  
Opening the door Lily stepped inside nervously glancing around, a few couples dotted around the tables, candles in between them, seemingly oblivious to the young woman fiddling with her hands not sure who she was meant to be meeting, a tallish, rather attractive, slightly older slim woman with short, dark hair, dressed in a t shirt, blazer, skinny jeans and lace up slim boots making her way over to Lily.  
"Hi, are you Lily by any chance?".  
Lily nodded yes. "Yeah, I...I am".  
The woman smiled happily.  
"I think it's me you're looking for, I'm Alex" offering Lily her hand.  
Lily politely shook her hand, smiling shyly back.  
"Shall we and can I get you a drink?" motioning to the room and the spare seats.  
"Oh erm...can I have a bottle of beer please, if that's ok?".  
"No problem, I'll bring it over, how about you find us a table?" she smiled, heading to the bar leaving Lily to choose one of the comfortable couches they had dotted in the corners.  
So far so good, that's the names out of the way and I didn't do anything stupid.  
Thank god.  
"Here we are, one beer" Alex smiled, setting the bottle on the table in front of Lily.  
"Thank you" Lily smiled back, taking a sip as Alex sat down with her own beer, the older woman slipping the blazer off her shoulders, this making her slim frame more visible, something Lily couldn't help but notice.  
"So, Bernie tells me you work at the hospital with her and Serena?".  
"Yeah I'm a junior doctor there, I'm on AAU at the moment, it's allowing me to get more experience and see if it helps me decide permanently where I'd like to be based. What do you do?".  
"I'm an anaesthetist at St James's, but I was in the army before that for years, that's where I know Bernie from" she smiled, taking a swig from her bottle.  
"It's a bit of a different way of life now for you hm?".  
"Just a bit, I've nearly adjusted back to being a civvy" Alex chuckled, this sound and comment bringing a little giggle from Lily.  
She suits that smile and giggle.  
She seems somewhat nervous still.  
Bernie did say this to me though.  
Said she's a bit of a delicate soul.  
Been through a bit with her last girlfriend.  
Not specifics but enough for me to know she's not been treated well.

 

"You've a pretty smile" Alex complimented softly, smiling as she watched Lily blush and dip her head.  
"Oh th...thank you".  
"You're welcome. I've not done this very much, the whole blind date thing, so I was nervous too as I waited, but I'm glad I came tonight" was the admission from the older woman, causing Lily to look at her.  
"I...I've, I've never done this before.." she stuttered nervously, fiddling with her hands.  
"You're doing fine" gently touching Lily's hands and smiling.  
They'd been talking and finding out about one another for a couple of hours or so when there was a crash of glass from behind the bar, the sudden noise startling Alex, but causing Lily to all but leap from the seat she was sat in, the older woman looking to the younger one on her reaction.  
"Are you ok?" Alex frowned, concern in her face.  
"I..I'm fine.." taking a sip from her new beer.  
"But..you're shaking" seeing the shaking hand holding the beer. "Hey.." touching Lily's upper arm, causing her to jump a bit again.  
"I..I'm fine, I...I'm fine, excuse me" her voice trembling and tearful, quickly putting the bottle on the table and rushing to the toilets, leaving a confused Alex in her wake.  
"Hi Alex, how's it going?" Bernie asked happily down the phone.  
"Bern am I missing something here, when you said Lily had been through a lot, what exactly is a lot, I only ask because she seems a bit on edge, frightened almost, especially at sudden noises..".  
Bernie sighed on the end of the phone, hoping Lily and Alex had already had this conversation so she wouldn't be the one being asked.  
"I shouldn't be telling you this, I hoped she'd have told you already, but she....her ex, well she pushed her about a bit, shouted at her, slaps that kind of thing, hence why she's a bit jumpy in certain situations, she's been through quite a bit, but doesn't want anyone knowing and no one does at work except for a select few people who had to know".  
Alex sat there slightly stunned, not expecting that answer from her friend.  
"Um, right ok, thanks for this..".  
"Alex, you're not going to just walk out of there are you?".  
"What, no of course I'm not, she's nice, I like her, I'm just a bit shocked. Look Bern, I'll have to go, go and see if she's ok, I'll text you later, don't worry she'll be ok" hanging up and making her way into the toilets, one of the doors shut and locked.  
Lily.  
Alex tapped lightly on it.  
"Lily?".  
"Y...Yes, I'll be out in a minute, sorry".  
Leaning back on the sinks Alex waited, looking up on hearing the latch on the door click open to reveal Lily, her eyes red underneath, light tear tracks visible to the older woman on her cheeks, forcing a watery smile to the brunette.  
"S..sorry, I'll just wash my hands" Lily offered moving to the sink next to where Alex stood, quickly catching herself in the mirror, washing then drying her hands.  
"Are you ok?".  
The younger woman nodded."Yes, thank you".  
Alex touched her upper arm again causing Lily to look up at her. "I mean really ok?" to which Lily shook her head, her face creasing, Alex pulling her close into her.  
"It's ok, it's alright" she soothed. "Bernie...Bernie told me, about your ex.." hearing Lily inhale sharply between cries. "No, no it's ok, I asked her because I was worried about you, she didn't just tell me, she's not like that".  
"This is so, so not what should happen on a first blind date, and the last one no doubt" Lily mumbled through her sniffles.  
"Not necessarily.." she started, the younger woman lifting her head to look at Alex.

 

What, how can she say this after what's happened?  
After I've ended up here crying into her.  
Making a show of myself.  
"W..whatcha mean?".  
Alex smiled moving a stray strand of hair from Lily's face.  
"Well, I was hoping maybe you'd like to do this again sometime, maybe over dinner?" she suggested hopefully, wanting to get to know the young woman more.  
Lily's eyebrows inched towards her hairline at the offer.  
"Y..You're serious?" not quite believing the older woman's offer of another date.  
Alex couldn't help but chuckle softly at the surprise on the blonde's face.  
"Yeah, unless you didn't want to?".  
"No, no I'd like to" she smiled, the first full smile since Alex had found her in the toilets.  
"Good because so would I" returning the smile to the blonde. "How about we get you back home, I can walk you, make sure you get back safely".  
Lily nodded at the kind suggestion. "Thank you" moving from the brunette's arms and making their way back into the bar, collecting their things and leaving.  
"I can't say I've been down here before" Alex remarked looking at the buildings that were around them, taking the opportunity to sneak a glance at the pretty blonde at her side.  
"You like it?".  
"Yeah I do, it's nice, nice architecture".  
Lily smiled at the answer, inching a little closer to the taller woman as they walked, feeling a sense of safety from being near her.  
"You ok?" the brunette asked, casually slipping her arm around the shoulders of the younger woman.  
"Yeah" was the simple reply, letting herself lean into Alex a little bit more, pulling the cuffs of her jacket over her hands.  
"Good" Alex said, smiling on feeling the action of Lily.  
"This is my house" both of them stopping in front of the house, looking at it for a few minutes.  
"Well..." Alex started, releasing her arm from around the younger woman. "Thank you for a lovely night Lily".  
Lily smiled shyly. "Thank you for a lovely night, Alex" feeling the heat of her own cheeks on the older woman's lips brushing a soft kiss to one of them.  
"My pleasure" a soft grin on seeing Lily's reaction. "Maybe I should give you my number to arrange taking you out for dinner?" putting her number into Lily's phone and giving it back to her. "There you go".  
Lily smiled to her. "Thank you again, I'll text you my number".  
"Sounds perfect" pausing to just look down at the blonde in front of her. "I'd better be going, but first you get yourself inside so I know you're safe".  
Flashing the brunette a smile Lily made her way inside the house, appearing at the window after a few minutes and giving a little wave to Alex, which she returned, heading down the street and away from the house.

 

"Alex how did it go, what do you think?" Bernie asked down the phone as the brunette headed down the road towards her house, her jacket up around her neck.  
"It went well I think, she's a really nice girl, pretty too and cute, I'm glad you told me about what she'd been through, it does seem like she's been through a hell of a lot, I don't know how anyone can treat her that way. I'm taking her out for dinner, gave her my number" smiling to herself.  
"I'm so pleased it went well, she is a lovely girl yeah, just as you say been through a rather rough time with her crazy ex being as mad as she was, but I'd say she's worth the effort if someone wants to put it in with her. Arranging dinner eh?".  
"Yeah, she got a bit upset and didn't think I'd want to see her again, surprised her when I offered another date and to take her for dinner" Alex chuckled, moving into her house.  
"I'm glad that you had a nice time and she's agreed to dinner with you, I think you're a suited pair" Bernie smiled down the phone.  
"Thanks again for setting it up, I really like her, she's nice. I'm gonna go and get changed, leave you to your evening with Serena, speak to you tomorrow ok?".  
"Ok Alex, speak tomorrow, night" hanging up and turning to Serena next to her on the sofa.  
"Seems like that went well, think we might have a new couple developing slowly there, I'm glad about it, they seem like they'd be good together and Lily deserves some happiness, just like we've got" leaning forward and capturing the brunette's lips, smiling on feeling Serena smiling, pulling the vascular surgeon into her.  
**I hope you got home safely, thank you again for a lovely night and sorry about getting upset. Lily x** **  
** Alex smiled on laying in bed reading the message before replying. **  
** **Not long got in and got in bed. You're welcome, the pleasure was all mine, no need to apologise, it's understandable you being upset, I think you're lovely, you're ex was mad to let you go :) Hope you sleep well tonight. A x** **  
** She called me lovely, she thinks I'm lovely and my ex made a mistake.  
Bit like her ex did then, because I think she's really nice too.  
The fact she comforted me too I like, she didn't run off and leave, she stayed and walked me home, so much so she wants to take me out again. ** **  
** ** **Thank you :') I hope you sleep well too. Lily x** **  
** The blonde putting her phone back on the bedside cabinet and snuggling under the covers smiling to herself at the date she'd just been on.  
Maybe, just maybe this woman might be someone who I can start to gain some trust with.  
Build something with.  
Enjoy life with.  
Maybe.


	53. Chapter 53

"It was just a bad session sweetheart, no big deal, I had those too when I had my counselling, sometimes it's just one of those days, one of those not very good or helpful counselling days, I'm sure that's what she said to you too eh?" Serena said to a not very happy Bernie who sat in the front passenger seat of the car outside the house leaning on the car door and looking out of the window now not saying anything.  
"Yes maybe she did say that" turning to face a smiling Serena next to her, watching the brunette raise her eyebrows as if to say well then.  
"So, maybe you just might be being a bit hard on yourself, because her and I can't both be wrong about how well you're doing and how much stronger you've gotten, not to mention how clever you are, how talented and beautiful..." leaning over to kiss Bernie's nose, this action causing a chuckle from the blonde, the chuckle widening Serena's smile. "Now that's more like it wouldn't you say?".  
"Ok, ok smug so and so, maybe you are both right, will that do for you?" shaking her head at Serena being right, again.  
"More than do" pecking the trauma surgeons lips and then getting out of the car, Bernie following and moving into the house.  
After eating their dinner, the pair of them decided to move upstairs and rest in bed, Serena deciding that she'd like some ice cream, taking the tub and a couple of spoons in case Bernie wanted some too.

 

Sitting in bed Serena leisurely ate from the tub, seeing Bernie out of the corner of her eye watching the TV, smiling at the concentration on the blonde's face and then eyeing the remote on the opposite side of Bernie.  
Scooping a fresh spoonful of ice cream from the tub she turned to the blonde and started leaning across, smirking as she heard a gasp from Bernie.  
"What's the matter, are you ok?" looking at her, sitting back to her position.  
"You've just dropped something on me, you've dropped freezing ice cream!" pulling down the neck of her bed t shirt to reveal the little spoonful of ice cream resting and rapidly melting between the gap at the top of her breasts.  
Looking between the blonde's face and ice cream Serena winked before leaning down and began to lick away the offending dessert, the feel of her tongue causing murmurs from the other woman.  
"Think this is going to come off so I can properly get it all for you" smirking and pulling the t shirt up and off the blonde, laying her down on her back, allowing her full access to Bernie's upper torso.  
"Did you do this on purpose by any chance Miss Campbell?" Bernie asked, murmuring again as Serena's tongue removed the last of the ice cream, reaching out for the bowl on the bedside cabinet she dripped some of the melting dessert onto each nipple, discarding the bowl and quickly licking the cold substance from the nipples of the woman underneath her, the skin firming up in arousal, the blonde's back arching at the sensation, holding Serena's head to her, loving the feel of the brunette's lips on her breasts, these lips moving down her body as liquid vanilla was drizzled down her stomach and licked off not long after.  
Serena smiled against the toned abdomen of Bernie, oh how she loved the firm and soft skin here, and the way it got goose bumps when exposed to the air and her lips, the way it curved very slightly near her belly button, the skin below here even more sensitive.

 

With the encouraging mumbles of Bernie continuing, Serena peeled the blonde's knickers down her legs and off, grateful that this was all she wore in bed, easier access .  
Her kisses resuming on the inside of each thigh, down each leg and then hovering around the place she could feel the heat radiating from, the place she knew Bernie wanted her.  
More of the now liquidated ice cream was drizzled just below her belly button, watching it trickle down towards the soft hair between her legs, quickly darting forward as she led between her thighs, scooping up the creamy sauce before it reached her clit, the action making Bernie groan louder with want, thrusting her hips into Serena's face.  
"Oh god...please...I need you".  
Serena smirked against her mons, gliding her tongue just above Bernie's clit, her breath near enough to wave a breath of air down over the quickly hardening and pulsating bundle of nerves.  
"P...please!" she groaned louder, gripping the brunette's hair, holding the vascular surgeons face to her.  
Her smirk even wider, she applied her lips straight to the peeking pearl appearing from its hood, suckling it, the relieved groan from Bernie, widening the smirk, the blonde's hips immediately thrusting to the pace of the muscle in Serena's mouth, licking this way and that, a delicious rhythm being maintained, the arousal between the blonde's thighs being scooped up and trailed for more lubrication, not that was needed in the slightest, over the pulsating clit she was working, this in turn working the trauma surgeon into a bigger frenzy, this being added to as she slipped two fingers into her, matching the rhythm of her tongue, the groans and moans of Bernie increasing tenfold, breathlessly trying to communicate Serena not to stop and that she wasn't far off, delighting the vascular surgeon, her own arousal increasing by the second.  
Jeez this woman and her tongue and fingers.  
They know exactly how to touch and feel me.  
How to turn me on.  
Send my head into a spin.  
Not to mention send my body flying into another world, a higher plane I've never been to before.  
It's literally mind blowing.  
Bloody hell!

 

Her hips pumping even faster on Serena doubling her efforts, her fingers tightening in brunette locks, her body quickly losing control, thighs tightening around the head of her fiancée, loud moans echoing around the room, bouncing off the walls, sweat glistening all over her frame with the effort and gratification she was experiencing, the actions of Serena and her ministrations tipping her over the edge, pulling the head of the brunette into her as she came hard, moaning the other woman's name out into the bedroom, collapsing back onto the bed spent, her chest heaving as she tried to get oxygen into her shaking frame, her body jolting on feeling the tongue between her legs ghosting over the highly sensitive bundle of nerves that had just been licked into oblivion.  
"F...Fuck!" was all that could be heard from Bernie, Serena having crawled back up the bed to lay on her side, propped on her elbow, gazing at the woman beside her, flushed cheeks and a slightly less heaving chest, the hazel eyes turning to look at her.  
"I just did" Serena winked cheekily, gaining a chuckle and shake of the head from Bernie.  
"And don't I know it, wooo" she exhaled, a satisfied smile wide on her face, leaning over to press her lips to Serena's, pulling her into a hug, their tongues brushing together, a few minutes of passionate kisses before the brunette pulled back, stroking the naked back of her girlfriend, eyes locked together.

 

"So Ms Wolfe...do you think, that today was such a bad day in your recovery?" her eyes lighting up on seeing Bernie smile.  
Bernie looked towards the ceiling thinking, her eyes moving back to the brunette.  
Like the bloody woman had to actually ask this question.  
She loved asking.  
Asking so I'd reply with the answer she knew I'd give already.  
Yet I still answer just because it's her and how the hell can I not answer after what she does to me.  
God how she does it too me.  
Every single time.  
Jeez.  
"You know what, I think it's been a rather splendid day in my road to recovery, a very splendid day" Bernie said smiling, kissing the brunette as she led on top of her, their tongues wrestling as she slid her hands under Serena's bed vest, cupping her breasts.  
Oh yes, it'd definitely been a splendid day, and one that was just about to get that much better with the noises she was going to entice from the woman underneath.  
A very big lot better.  
Get ready Ms Campbell.  
Get ready.


	54. Chapter 54

"That was lovely" Lily commented putting her cutlery down on her plate, smiling across the table at Alex, she herself having just finished her food.  
"Yeah it was, I'm rather full now" taking a sip of her beer.  
The older woman had chosen this calm and chilled restaurant just outside of town, it seemed ideal for a first proper dinner date, not too much or flashy, somewhere nice, with good reviews, good food and nice surroundings.  
"It's a nice place you picked here, I've never been here before, a couple of my friends have and have recommended it, said how nice it was, they were right".  
"I'm glad you've liked it, I have too, the company being one of the best parts" Alex said, smiling over her beer at Lily, the younger woman's cheeks flushing in shyness.  
"Thank you".  
Sitting there for a little while longer, they chatted happily, finding out more about one another and simply enjoying their time together, looks flashed to the other, exchanging happy smiles as they found out more that they had in common, Lily being surprised at how she was reacting to the other woman, feeling different to the way she'd been with her abusive ex, her tummy bubbling with butterflies.  
She seems different to Abby.  
Softer.  
Kinder.  
No aggression.  
She smiles a lot.  
Makes me smile.  
Does her best to put me at ease.  
Wants me to feel comfortable.  
Helps me to feel comfortable.  
Looks after me.  
Pulls chairs out for me, opens door.  
Makes me laugh.  
Is generous.  
Complimentary.

 

"...it's not funny you know, it was a packed train too" Alex chuckled, seeing Lily giggling after the older woman had told her a story of being caught in a toilet on the train with her jeans and knickers around her ankles, apparently the toilet door was one of these new 'high tech' ones that only needed a press of a button and it was locked, this happening to seemingly be the one time it had decided that it hadn't been pressed hard enough to lock and not fly open.  
"I think...I think it was" her hand over her stomach as she giggled heartily, the sight alone making Alex grin.  
"How about we go to one of the bars nearby I know, it's nice, got a good DJ too, if you'd fancy it?".  
Lily nodded in reply. "I'd like that" smiling at the other woman.  
After Alex paid for their meal, they left the restaurant, walking the little way to the bar and moving inside, the atmosphere more up tempo than before, a DJ booth complete with DJ behind the decks, a few people already on the dance floor moving to the music he was playing rather loudly over the selection of speakers, strobe lights and a number of disco lights, along with the spot lights in the ceiling illuminating the entire bar.  
Managing to get to the bar Lily bought them both a drink, clinking bottles with Alex, finding a couple of seats away from the DJ booth to the back of the bar, thighs brushing together as they sat, exchanging knowing glances with each other, sipping their beers.  
"What do you think?" Alex asked, her voice that bit louder to be heard over the music.  
"I like it, not been here before either, it's nice, good music too!" Lily replied, smiling.  
Alex smiled back, her eyes moving between the dance floor and Lily.  
"Fancy a dance?" she smiled hopefully, watching the younger woman think for a moment, giving her a nod.  
Taking the younger woman's hand she led them to the floor, finding a space and starting, along with Lily to move to the music, this carrying on for a couple of songs, neither of them looking at anyone else, eyes fixed on the other, smiling eyes.  
Then the tempo of the music dropped slightly, the DJ opting for a slower, more relaxed song, Alex stepping forward and putting her hands on Lily's hips, gently bringing them close, the younger woman's hand wrapping around Alex's stomach so she was resting her head on her chest, swaying to the rhythm of the song.

 

As the song was coming to an end, Lily lifted her head to look to Alex, the height difference allowing Alex the chance to look down into the blue eyes of Lily, darting between the young doctors lips and eyes, one hand moving from her waist to cup her cheek, brushing the soft skin with the pad of her thumb, looking between said lips and eyes.  
One more look and she slowly leant down closing the gap between both pairs of lips, double checking the blue eyes near her, seeing no objection she gently grazed their lips together, Lily closing her eyes at the sensation, grabbing the anaesthetist's shirt more in her hands, adding more pressure to the kiss, liking how it felt, this action causing Alex to smile, using her free hand on Lily's waist to pull them flush together, kissing her more deeply.  
God I've never kissed someone like this before.  
Never wanted to kiss someone like this.  
Those blue eyes.  
That figure.  
That face.  
She's pretty and so cute.  
Smart.  
Sensitive.  
A little vulnerable.  
Parting from the kiss after a few moments the two women looked at one another, Alex's face with a wide smile over it, Lily's doing the same.  
"That was....wow" Alex whispered.  
"It was" Lily said back, Alex's smile turning into a grin.  
"You're beautiful" the older woman stroking Lily's cheek, unable it seemed to take her eyes off her, the younger woman's cheek flushing with shyness, going to dip her head, but Alex stopping her. "Hey, there's no need for that, you seriously are beautiful" moving her lips to the shorter woman's ear and whispering "I'm the luckiest woman in this place right now" this bringing a small giggle from Lily.  
I've never had this kind of compliment from anyone, not even the horrible ex.  
No one has ever paid me this kind of attention.  
She's so kind.  
So generous.  
Not to mention hot.  
That smile of her is to die for and her body.  
She's clever.  
Caring.  
Funny.  
And she likes me.

 

"I think you're....you're.." sighing to herself as she stammered, frowning softly because she was getting nervous, shaking her head.  
"It's ok, you're ok, just relax and then try again" Alex offered, moving them back to their table, sensing the other woman's nerves and frustration.  
Sitting down Lily played with her fingers, twirling her ring around one of them, trying to relax, Alex beside her waiting.  
"When I'm n....nervous, I....I stammer sometimes..s...sorry" watching Alex shake her head.  
"Nothing to be sorry for, just take your time in what you were trying to say" she smiled.  
Lily took a deep breath, momentarily closing her eyes then opening them again.  
"I..w..was trying to say that...that I think..think you're gorgeous" this causing Alex's cheeks to blush at the compliment.  
"Well...coming from you it's a big compliment for sure, thank you" Lily smiling at her, her hands settled in her lap, having relaxed more since saying the words. "Would you like another drink or?".  
"I'm ok thank you, unless you'd like another?".  
Alex shook her head. "I'm ok thanks, maybe I could walk you home?" she smiled.  
"I'd like that" Lily smiled, both of them putting their coats on and heading out of the bar, making their way back to Lily's house.  
"Here we are again" Alex said, stopping near the front door, watching Lily turn to face her.  
"Would you like to...to come in for..for a coffee or something?" the younger woman's blue eyes watching Alex's reaction.  
"Yes please, that'd be nice" both smiling as the older woman followed Lily into the house.  
Perching herself on the edge of the sofa in the living room, her jacket draped on the chair nearby, Alex glanced at her surroundings taking it all in.  
"Do you take sugar?" Lily called from the kitchen.  
"Just one thank you" Alex replied back, the younger woman coming through not long later putting two mugs of coffee down on the small table in front of them both, taking a seat next to her on the sofa.  
"Thank you" came the smile from Alex, watching Lily smile back at her.  
"I..I just wanted to say thank you for tonight, I had a lovely time" gently fiddling with her ring again.  
"My pleasure, I've had a lovely time too" unable to stop herself it seemed flicking her eyes from the blue orbs of Lily and down to her lips, remembering how it felt to kiss them in the bar, Lily seeing her eyes on her lips, gently moving towards Alex.  
With the gap between them reduced, their outer thighs touching, Lily inched forward that bit further, watching the older woman close the gap and take hold of her face in her hands, pressing their lips together in a deep kiss, Lily's hands either side of Alex's hips.  
She holds my face so gently.  
Doesn't force anything.  
Isn't rough.  
Her kisses aren't rough either.  
She's gentle.  
Not aggressive.  
I can't handle any sort or hint of aggression.

 

"God you're beautiful" Alex murmured against Lily's lips, her hands moving down to the small of the other woman's back, pulling her as close as she could get her, liking the closeness.  
Lily murmured on feeling the other woman's tongue brush her upper lip and then the bottom one lightly asking for permission, which she granted, their tongues brushing softly together, the younger woman being easily lifted up and onto the older woman's lap, her legs either side of Alex's hips, her own arms crossing behind Alex's head, only coming apart from their kisses when they were gasping for air.  
"Wow.." Alex said smiling, her eyes shining.  
Lily smiled back. "Wow yourself" studying the face in front of her, cupping Alex's neck and stroking the nape, liking the feel of the softness of her hair between her fingers.  
"Alex?".  
"Yeah?".  
"Would...would erm...would you like..like to maybe stay tonight, I don't feel ready to do..anything but...but just wondered if you'd like to stay with me, if you don't that's fine I wouldn't force you to or blame you.." her sentenced being cut short with another gentle kiss from Alex.  
"I'd love too" she said, her eyes conveying the truth in her words.  
Not long later after finishing their drinks they both moved upstairs, Lily appearing from the bathroom in a vest and knickers, Alex unable to take her eyes off her, drinking her in. Alex already in bed in a borrowed t shirt from Lily and her knickers.  
Shuffling under the covers the blue eyes looked to Alex not moving any further, green eyes looking back at her.  
"You ok?" Alex said.  
"Yeah just...just sorry for not wanting to do anything like that...I feel...I feel, just a disappointment I suppose..just...I don't feel ready, s..sorry, I'm sorry" her voice quivering, looking down to the duvet, not wanting the other woman to see the tears shining in her eyes.  
"Hey.." tilting Lily's chin up to look at her. "You're not a disappointment in the slightest, wanting to wait doesn't make you this in any way at all, just being close to you and spending time with you is really nice, really really nice, I really like you" the honesty shining in her eyes, stroking Lily's chin with her thumb, watching the younger woman's features relax at her words.

 

"I..I like you too" she whispered, her heart lifting on seeing Alex smile widely.  
"Come here" Alex said, laying down and opening her arms, Lily quickly cuddling into her, the older woman securely wrapping her arms around Lily, stroking her hair. "Bernie was right on both counts when she said you're a nice girl and I'd like you, I do. Your ex must have been totally wacko to let you go, what a big loss of hers, but a huge gain of mine to get to spend time with you" kissing the top of Lily's head still stroking her hair.  
Lily nuzzled into Alex's neck, her head on her shoulder.  
"How..how anyone hasn't gotten you yet I don't know, thought you'd have been snapped up straight away by lots of women".  
Alex smiled to herself."Not exactly, and none of them caught my eye and attention, but someone definitely has now. And I'd like to continue to get to know her and spend time with her because I think she's rather special, if she'd let me and like too as well?".  
It was now Lily's turn to smile and nod to herself, her heart lifting even more, the butterflies still evident in her tummy, relaxing even more in Alex's arms.  
"Yes please" another kiss on her hair from Alex.  
"You really are special Lily" resting her cheek on the top of Lily's head, her hand now stroking the upper arm of the younger woman, loving the feel of the soft skin under her fingertips.  
Lily gave a soft murmur, the noise causing Alex to furrow her brow softly, glancing down, this frown quickly turning into a smile on the vision in front of her, this vision being one of a soundly sleeping Lily, not a ounce of tension in her face, curled tightly into Alex, one of her hands gently gripping the t shirt the older woman was wearing.  
"Goodnight beautiful".


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is slightly longer than I thought it would be, I was going to split it up but I think it works well as one whole chapter, hope you enjoy! :) <3

"Bernie, hi!?".  
Serena frowned as she heard the name as she sat in her office doing some work at her computer.  
Bernie?  
My Bernie?  
But what would she be doing here?  
More to the point how.  
Shaking her head she carried on typing at the computer, her head snapping up as the door opened and in walked someone, this particular someone being the blonde trauma surgeon, the sight making her fingers cease.  
"Hello" Bernie smiled widely seeing Serena's face.  
"W..What, what are you doing here?" not expecting to see her here at all.  
"Thought I'd pay you and them lot a little visit" sitting down on one of the chairs near the window, not moving her eyes from Serena.  
"How did you..." not finishing her sentence before Bernie answered.  
"I drove and before you say anything I took my time, did below the speed limit and everything was fine, there was hardly any traffic on my way in so it was fine".  
Serena couldn't help but shake her head at Bernie's answer, covering every base so the brunette didn't have a comeback.  
She had a habit of that, seeming to know what Serena would ask or answer with so she did it all for her before she had a chance, that easy knowing it seemed of Serena's mind, and what to do or say to ease it.  
Clever sod.  
"So now you don't have to worry" leaning forward and capturing Serena's lips in a soft kiss, smiling as she felt the brunette smile and put her hands on Bernie's face, deepening their kiss, she enjoyed the feel of those hands on her face, and elsewhere of course.  
"I always worry, you know this, but I might worry slightly less now...maybe" she smirked cheekily looking at the blonde, causing Bernie to chuckle. "Yeah, maybe is right Campbell" her answer getting a swat on the arm from the vascular surgeon, this only making her chuckle more. "A hit too, disgraceful" this causing Serena to giggle, linking their fingers together.  
"You deserved it for being cheeky Wolfe, that's one thing that will never ever change about you" the sentiment causing Bernie to smile widely at Serena, giving her a soft wink, this wink bringing a wide grin from the brunette.  
Suddenly their attention was drawn to raised voices outside the office near the main doors of the ward, the sound being unusual in the AAU hence it making them glance in the direction it was coming from.  
  
  
  
"I saw you with my own eyes Alex!" Lily said, moving through the doors out of the ward and into the corridor with the brunette, the older woman shaking her head and scoffing, unable to believe the discussion they were having in the middle of the hospital, this seeming to inflame the young doctor. "Don't...don't you do that...".  
"What's going on?" Bernie interjected, looking between both women, Serena behind her.  
"I'd like to know myself" Alex said, raising her eyebrows, causing Bernie to look to Lily, the blonde doctor obviously in some distress.  
"Lily?" Bernie started, the blue eyes looking to her.  
"I saw...saw her talking to some woman before, laughing about goodness knows what with her in the corridor out here when I'd been to get some test results.." this causing Bernie to turn to Alex wanting an answer.  
"Yeah I was laughing and talking with her she's right, because it was one of the girls I knew from when I worked here...Jane from upstairs in the office" looking to Bernie when she answered, the brunette's face straight and honest.  
"Then why did I hear you tell her not to tell me something?" Lily fired back before Bernie had a chance to say anything. Alex sighed, rubbing her forehead trying to lessen the tension it held at the moment.  
"Because....because I'd told her I was having something delivered to the hospital today as a surprise, a surprise for you, and that when it arrived if it didn't make it to the AAU but got delivered to them upstairs in the offices could she be the one that brought it down here and gave it to you so I knew it'd gotten to the person I wanted it to. So there you go" turning on hearing footsteps of someone heading towards the four of them, the scent letting her know it was Lily's surprise. "And here it said surprise" watching the older woman from upstairs carrying a bouquet of flowers towards them all.  
"You were right Alex, it did get delivered upstairs to us" Jane said smiling at the brunette, before turning to Lily and handing them to her. "I believe these are yours dear". "Thanks Jane" Alex flashed her a smile, the older woman heading back down the corridor and then disappeared into the lift.  
"Well...enjoy them, if you want them that is..." Alex mumbled, turning to walk down the corridor Jane had just walked up, shaking her head, obviously annoyed and upset, leaving a teary eyed Lily in her wake clutching the flowers, her eyes wide in panic watching Alex walk away, looking between Bernie and Serena for help. "I...I'm sorry, I didn't mean...I just...I thought.." tears starting down her cheeks, to which Serena put an arm around the young woman's shoulder, guiding her to the seats nearby to sit down, which left Bernie to catch up with her friend further down the corridor.  
"Alex wait, Alex!" the older woman stopping and turning to Bernie.  
"What?".  
"She's upset back there".  
"So?".  
Bernie frowned at her friend, not believing the front she was currently putting on.  
"You don't mean that, we both know damn well you don't" watching the brunette's expression soften at her words and then sigh, moving to sit down on the nearby seats.  
"No, no I don't. I just...what just happened then because I don't know...".  
Bernie sat next to her, her hands in her own lap.  
  
  
  
"What happened then is a slight after effect of Lily being mistreated, and yes before you say it I know that what happened in her past is nothing to do with you and it's unfair, but, well, I guess this is sometimes what happens when you find someone nice who treats you well, it takes a bit of getting used you and you jump to conclusions and make unfair assumptions due to bad habits, just like she has. But I saw the look in her eyes when you started walking down here, started walking away, it was one of fear, fear that you wouldn't stop walking and then disappear, not come back" this observation enough for Alex to look up from her hands, to Bernie and then back down the corridor to where she could see Lily sat with Serena, the vascular surgeon still with her arm around Lily's shoulder, talking to her, the flowers on the floor at the young woman's feet, her head in her hands, obviously crying, this sight alone making Alex swallow hard.  
"How about we go back down there and maybe sort this out, she's sorry for what happened, she said so but you weren't close enough to hear when you came down here. She really likes you you know, just as I know you really like her, hm?" the brunette nodding, her green eyes now glassy after seeing the other woman upset. "Come on" giving Alex's upper arm a comforting rub, the pair of them then standing up and walking back to the other two women, Bernie supportively squeezing Alex's hand just as they reached where they sat, Serena smiling at Bernie and Alex on seeing them.  
Alex moved over to Lily, kneeling down in front of her, gently taking the young doctors hands away from her face, Lily gasping at the contact, this subsiding on seeing who it was, freeing her hands so they could go around Alex's neck, cuddling close to her. "I..I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't....shouldn't have just assumed what I did. I...I'm sorry Alex" she cried into the anaesthetist's neck, Alex giving a nod of her head to Serena and Bernie, letting them know she'd take care of her from here, mouthing 'thank you' to the pair.  
"It's ok, shhh" cuddling Lily close to her, a hand stroking her hair, easing them both onto the seats next to them, still holding the young doctor. "Hey, hey" lifting Lily's head so she could look at her. "It's ok, I'm sorry for walking off I just...I got upset, in the heat of the moment I walked off, I wouldn't have left just needed to process things I guess, I meant what I said, I do really like you, I wouldn't do that to you, I couldn't".  
Lily nodded. "I..I know, I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions without actually listening, it's nothing to do with you and...and I shouldn't have reacted this way, I guess..I guess I've been used to being treated badly like I was before, during that time I guess I was suspicious of everything because of how she behaved and what she did, how she made me feel.." taking a breath to steady herself, having not spoken about this to Alex before. "That I questioned everything, suspected everything, with good reason it turned out, but you're not her, not at all, and I shouldn't have behaved that way. I guess it's just me still working on this, I'm nearly there just not quite yet, but...but I don't want this to cause problems between us, I couldn't bare it if..if it did".  
"I can understand it still being a little raw for you, I'd be the same and me saying I'm not like her doesn't do as much as me showing you and gaining your trust more that way, all I ask is that you give me a chance and let me have that chance to show you" to which Lily nodded.  
"Of course, you're nothing like her so far, nothing at all, quite the opposite in fact" unable to help give Alex a little smile. "I erm...there's a card in your flowers, dunno if you got a chance to see it?" watching Lily shake her head, the blonde bending down to retrieve the hand written note.  
**To Lily,**  
**Pretty flowers for a pretty girl.**  
**Fancy a home cooked meal at mine tonight?**  
**Hope you like the flowers.**  
**Alex xx**  
Reading the card Lily looked to Alex, a smile on the young woman's face.  
"They're beautiful flowers and....and I'd really like to come to yours tonight, please" this response gaining a smile from Alex.  
"I'm glad you like them, they're not as pretty as you obviously" causing Lily to flush shyly, this making Alex grin as she watched her.  
"I'll pick you up from here later, you finish at 6?" Lily nodded, snuggling close to the brunette.  
"Thank you" she whispered, allowing herself a few moments to sit in the older woman's arms before she went back to work.  
  
  
  
Putting the last of the dishes into the dish washer after tidying the kitchen up, Alex hung the tea towel over the handle of the oven and made her way through to the living room with her glass of wine, pausing at the door to look at the scene before her.  
Lily had made herself at home on the sofa, as Alex had said, curled up and leant against the arm watching the TV, the fire flickering gently, holding her own glass of wine.  
She looks right sat there.  
She looks at home.  
Looks settled and cosy.  
Looks relaxed and by god so cute.  
She's so cute.  
"Comfy?" the word causing Lily to glance up from her position, smiling at Alex, nodding.  
"Yeah I am, but I'd be even comfier if you were here with me" this enough to move Alex to the sofa, putting both of their glasses on the table, wrapping her arms around Lily, cuddling close.  
"Lily?".  
"Yeah".  
"You know..you know your ex..".  
This line of conversation causing Lily to swallow lightly.  
"Yeah...".  
"Did it...did it happen for a long time, the way she was with you?".  
The young woman paused before answering.  
"Two...two and a half years" her eyes on the TV.  
Alex herself then paused as she listened to the answer, wanting to know, but being cautious of asking.  
"She...she hit you?" to which Lily nodded, the older woman squeezing her gently.  
"It...it started after a few months, pushing at first, pushing and then hitting, there was some cheating on her part too, text messages, going out but not with me, I'd ask her and she'd say I was being paranoid or that I'd made her angry hence why she hit me, she'd say I'd never get anyone else, that no one would want me, because I'm too shy, not pretty or good enough, wasn't a nice person hence why she hit me or I made her angry" not moving her eyes from the screen as she spoke. "So one night I followed her, followed where she went and saw her with another girl, they were having dinner together, getting....getting cosy and I took pictures as proof and then went home, I...I packed my stuff and...and left, managed to get it all into the car I had at the time and went to a hotel nearby, text her I was leaving and that it was over...she tried to reason with me, rang me up begging for me to come back, to meet up with me to talk but...but I didn't, I couldn't, couldn't go there again, I was...was exhausted of it all, it was too much and I wasn't going back, I just...I couldn't, couldn't take anymore" her cheeks wet with tears, not able to wipe them away quickly enough, feeling too embarrassed to look Alex in the eyes.  
  
  
  
  
In silence Alex gently turned Lily's face to hers, thumbing a few of the cascading tears from her cheeks, kissing her forehead, pulling back to look at her.  
"No one should ever have done that to you, no one. The fact that you were brave enough to get away, to leave, shows how strong a person you actually are, how much courage you have, you should be proud of yourself".  
"I...I sometimes wonder if I actually am, when I think how I reacted to you today, I think...I think did I deserve what she did to me, did I cause it, but then I see you and how you are with me and how you treat me, how kind you are and that...that I don't wanna mess it up, I couldn't bare going through that again, I couldn't bare it Alex" her face creasing and then dissolving into sobs, the day's events and emotions catching up with her, needing a release for them.  
"Hey now, hey.." gathering the blonde into her arms, rocking her gently.  
"I've no reason to go anywhere, well unless you tell me too or you do something really unforgivable and horrific which I doubt you would. Why on earth would I go anywhere, it'd be pretty stupid of me and I know Bernie would be calling me an idiot, which she'd be right too. You're the smartest, sweetest, prettiest girl I've ever seen and I'd like to continue the path we're going, getting to know each other more and seeing where it goes, for quite a while I'd like to think. I'm not going anywhere sweetheart, it's alright, just let it go, I'm here" gently holding Lily's head against her shoulder, feeling the other woman start to calm down after a short amount of time, Lily's hand reaching up to stroke Alex's neck, relaxing in her arms, liking how safe she felt.  
"You give good hugs" Lily said, looking up to Alex, green eyes looking down into hers, smiling.  
"It definitely helps when you're as cute as you are" she whispered into Lily's ear, the younger woman giving a small, shy giggle, burying her face shyly into Alex's neck, the scent of the brunette's skin having a calming effect on her, closing her eyes.  
I've never had someone be this understanding with me.  
Be this patient.  
This caring.  
This tender.  
She seems to just be able to calm me, know what to say, know what to do.  
She doesn't dismiss me, she listens.  
And still wants to spend time with me.  
Wants to give us a chance to see where we could go.  
I hope we can go a long way because I like her.  
Really like her. I can't say I've ever liked anyone as much as I like her before.  
Ever.  
She's everything I could want in a woman.  
Everything.  
And she likes me.  
I really like you Alex.  
A lot.


	56. Chapter 56

"You'll never eat all that?!" Serena laughed sitting across from the blonde in the pub they'd chosen to go in for Sunday dinner, yes they could've made it but in light of recent events and work and just life in general they'd decided to go out and enjoy a meal together. Bernie had of course chosen the carvery that was on offer and by god did she get her money's worth, the plate that was originally white was unable to be seen under a mixture of carved meat, vegetables, potatoes, Yorkshire puddings times two, gravy and whatever else was hiding underneath.  
"You want to bet, just watch me" she grinned, raising her eyebrows.  
The brunette couldn't help but shake her head and chuckle, this was Bernie, her Bernie, there had been steady signs of her recovery over the past few months, but this was one of the biggest, her appetite and playfulness, the thing the signified she was on her way back, back to being herself, maybe not fully herself, but hopefully well on the way.  
With her own food in front of her and thanking the server they both tucked in, stealing glances at each other across the table, Bernie heartily eating her meal, Serena unable to help smile at the way the food started vanishing from the trauma surgeons plate.  
Bloody hell fire how does she eat that much and that fast.  
It makes me full just watching her.  
I suppose it's because she's Bernie and it's one of the many things that make her who she is.  
Namely being able to eat food and copious amounts of it at an alarming rate, not bothering who can see her.  
Oh Bernie what are you like.  
My Bernie that's what you are.  
My Bernie.  
My everything.

 

"That was so good" mumbled the blonde, her cutlery going onto her plate. sitting back in her chair, wiping her lips with her napkin, the plate empty.  
Serena finished her food not long later, sitting back in her chair, smiling at the blonde.  
"How about we go for a walk together on the beach after we've finished our drinks here, don't think we've ever done that, could take our shoes off and leave them in the car seen as it's sunny and not too cold out there?" Serena suggested, looking over her glass at the blonde who was smiling widely at the suggestion.  
"I'd love to" Bernie replied, unable to take her eyes from her.  
With both sets of shoes and socks in the car, both women made their way down the steps and to the sand, the feel of the grainy substance under the trauma surgeons feet causing her to smile widely, the vascular surgeon less so, her face creasing at what she deemed to be cold and 'bitty' sand.  
"It's not that bad, look at all this lovely fresh air, sand, sun and sea air" Bernie said, breathing deeply and closing her eyes, leading Serena further onto the sand, curling her toes into the sand as they walked.  
"But it...it's all cold and...and slushy" this description causing Bernie to chuckle, the vascular surgeon glaring at the laugh.  
"What?!".  
"It's sand and the beach Serena it's bound to be as you put it cold and slushy, that's part of the appeal of it" leading the both of them further towards the water that had started lapping at the shore, feeling the brunette pulling them the opposite way.  
"Oh no, not down there, now that will be cold, too cold for me".  
"It's only a bit of sea water, it's not the Arctic...".  
Bloody hell this woman.  
You'd think I'd taken her to Antarctica on a expedition, complete with tons and tons of snow, a couple of polar bears and huskies thrown in too.  
Serena Campbell and her distaste of sand, sorry cold British sand, you take her to the Bahamas or the like and the sand and water is perfectly acceptable then.  
But no not now, not this kind of sand and beach setting.  
But this also one of the many reasons why I love you like I do, your little quirks and dislikes of the things I think are fun and adventurous.

 

"Sea water...it's not just sea water, it's freezing sea water, freezing sea water that leaves sand in your toes and everywhere else it seems to get, how this happens I've no idea and you find it weeks later in your pocket, in your shoes, your socks, in your..." a gasp cutting her sentence short as a cold blast of water sprinkled on her face, stopping her dead in her tracks on the sand, her eyes opening after a few seconds looking straight at the blonde by her side, Bernie wearing a mischievous smile on her face.  
"Bernie....tell me that you just didn't do that, tell me that what I just felt was a splash of water from the sea, that it just happened to kick up and splash me in my face, tell me that you didn't scoop up and flick water at me" brown eyes not moving from the blonde.  
The trauma surgeon raised her eyebrows at the statement.  
"Sorry Serena, no can do...it was me, I flicked it at you" watching Serena's eyes widen a little bit more, trying to determine the other woman's next move.  
Serena said or did nothing as she wandered her eyes over Bernie's face, narrowing them slightly before she spoke.  
"Bernie Wolfe flicked cold sea water at me, she actually flicked it in my face. That means that she must pay the price, face the consequences of said actions" Bernie glimpsing that hint of playfulness creeping into Serena's eyes, watching in what appeared to be slow motion as the brunette leaned down to the water lapping at their feet, scooping some in her hand and throwing it towards her, the blonde quickly side stepping the move, giving a little squeal and laugh as a few stray droplets caught the end of her nose.  
"Oi you come here!" Serena said, watching in total amazement as for the first time since her accident the blonde started running in a gentle jog away from her, the blonde turning back and grinning that wide grin urging the brunette to try and catch her.  
She's running.  
She's actually running.  
Bernie Wolfe is running along the beach after doctors thought she'd never survive, let alone run anywhere.  
But here she is, alive, recovering more everyday and running along the beach, the breeze in her hair.  
My brave, brave Bernie.

 

Knowing she couldn't hope to run at the same speed but at this moment she was determined to give it a bloody good go, with a flurry she set off after the back of the retreating bouncing blonde curls, the trauma surgeon seeming to make short work of jogging along the tide line, the brunette in pursuit trying her best to match her stride for stride, which wasn't easy at all, but she still kept going, flashing Bernie a wide smile when she turned around, this smile morphing into a grin when the blonde faltered in front of her, allowing Serena to grab hold of her jumper, Bernie grabbing Serena's coat, the combination of hands on clothes causing them to both lose balance and drop onto the sand beneath their feet, Bernie landing underneath Serena laughing heartily at how they'd both ended up, the joyful sound of her fiancée's laugh causing Serena to also start laughing.  
"O...Oh stop I..I can't.." Bernie stammered between trying to get her breath, tears running down her cheeks, creeping a sly hand up the bottom of the brunette's coat, under her jumper and t shirt, against the small of her back, the cold and wet sensation causing her to gasp and press tighter into Bernie, the blonde wiggling her eyebrows cheekily, her thumb lazily brushing the sensitive skin underneath it.  
"What are you up too, hm?"   
"Nothing" answered Bernie, continuing her brushing against Serena's skin. "Just laying here looking up at my beautiful woman, whilst led on the beach, how's about that?" the answer bringing a happy smile to Serena's face, brown eyes wandering over Bernie's face.  
"You ran, for the first time since before your accident you actually ran along the beach, and I got to watch" the blonde smiling up at her.  
"I know, and you know why I ran, why I was able to actually jog along the beach, you, you and your support, encouragement, belief and love, most of all you just being your wonderful, gorgeous, clever, sexy, strong self" her eyes never leaving Serena's, the free hand of the blonde stroking the hair at the nape of her neck.  
"I love you so much and am so proud of you" whispered Serena, leaning down to capture Bernie's lips with her own, the blonde deepening the kiss as she swiftly rolled them over to leave Serena underneath on the sand, chuckling against the vascular surgeons lips on hearing her give a little squeak on the feel of the sand under her hair.  
"It's just sand" she murmured cupping Serena's face, enjoying the closeness of them both with no one around to disturb them, the brunette's hands winding around Bernie's back, pulling her tight against her body, loving the closeness.

 

"As long as it keeps away from nooks and crannies I don't wish it to be in, then I might be able to let laying here on this British beach in spring nearly summer, with my gorgeous girlfriend, slide this once" Serena said, her face breaking into a grin as she winked up at Bernie.  
"Well if this is the case Ms Campbell, then I'm determined to enjoy every minute of this window of opportunity, every minute indeed" leaning down and reconnecting their lips in a deep and passionate kiss, breathing in deeply, her senses being flooded by the surroundings, the smells, the noises and the feelings, the main feeling being simply one of feeling so fortunate to be led right here, right now, in this moment with the woman she loved and that nothing could ever take it away.  
I love you Serena Campbell, by god do I love you.  
I love you more than anything.  
And nothing, or no one is going to tear us apart.  
If they want to try, I say bring it on.  
Bring it on, because they'll lose.  
Nothing will break us.  
Nothing.


	57. Chapter 57

"How did you even.." Alex stopping mid sentence as the ball floated into the hole straight from where Lily had hit it, finishing with a hole in one, something Alex herself had managed in three shots.  
"Because I'm the best" Lily joked, smirking softly then giggling as she looked at Alex, the older woman chuckling at her response, coming to stand behind Lily and cuddle her close, kissing her cheek.  
"Yes you are" Alex said, kissing her cheek again, feeling Lily snuggle back into her.  
Mini golf wasn't something that Lily would have thought of for a date, but this was before she'd been with Alex and found herself to be rather good at it, well this and the fact she was here with the older woman, the older woman who seemed every hole of the course to be unable to stop herself coming close and cuddling Lily, the younger woman not complaining, the opposite in fact.  
"You are" her hands over the top of Alex's around her waist, squeezing them gently.  
This is what people say when they talk about it being easy with someone.  
Someone who gives you their attention.  
Who spends time with you.  
Who seems to like spending time with you.  
Takes you places.  
You have fun with.  
Shows you affection.  
Doesn't seem to have a problem showing affection.  
Gives it freely to you.  
Is comfortable around you.  
And you feel a level of comfort around them.  
You feel a level of safety around them, something that's important to you.  
"You ready for food?" to which Lily nodded as they gave their putters back to the man at the counter, taking Alex's hand walking out of the main doors and down the street towards the restaurants.  
Settled at their table at one of the nice burger bars, chatting happily over their food, laughing at different things they were saying to each other.  
Reaching across the table Alex moved her hand to Lily's face, gently swiping something from the side of her lips with her thumb, showing it to Lily.  
"Mayo, you missed a bit" causing Lily to giggle, taking hold of Alex's wrist and removing the drop of mayonnaise from the pad of her thumb with her lips, raising her eyebrows playfully.  
Alex chuckled and smirked.  
"Cheeky" winking playfully at the younger woman.  
Lily paid for their meal before they moved to a bar further down the road, moving inside and into the bar, Alex handing over the bottle of beer to Lily, making their way to a free table, the bar filling up with people, music playing over the speakers, a group of what Alex thought must have been friends not far from their own table, all drinking and laughing.

 

"Alright sweetheart" came a voice beside Lily as she stood at the bar getting her and Alex another drink.  
Frowning, Lily turned to the voice, one of the women from the group of friends near their own was leaning near to her, the smell of alcohol seeping off her, obviously drunk.  
Saying nothing she turned back to the bar, waiting to be served.  
"Why don't we have a dance together" the drunk woman's hand touching the upper arm of Lily, the young doctor flinching and pulling her arm away.  
"No...thank you" she stated firmly, facing away from her again.  
"Oh come on, I know you want to" squeezing Lily's arm, causing the blonde to jump at the touch, her eyes widening at the pressure on her arm.  
On looking through the crowd in the bar, Alex saw Lily jump and then shake her head trying to get away from the woman beside her, quickly getting up from the chair and pushing through the crowd.  
"Oi get your hands off her, get away!" pulling the drunk woman from behind away from Lily, standing in between the two women, glancing to Lily who was visibly trembling. "You ok?" watching the blonde give a little nod, not totally convincing Alex.  
"What's going on?" asked one of the men coming over from the group of friends.  
"This one here has just tried to put her hands all over my beautiful date, despite various attempts at telling her no" the drunk woman moving her arm around Alex to try and touch Lily again, the brunette quickly grabbing said arm.  
"I'm warning you, one more flinch or move towards the gorgeous woman behind me and so help me I'll chuck you out of here myself. Do.Not.Do.That.Again" her eyes glaring at the woman, her attention then turning the woman's male friend.  
"I'm telling you now fella, you either get this one away from me and my date before she attempts anything else, because if you don't I won't be responsible for my actions. I won't have her around her like this, she's drunk and needs to be taken home" moving one of her hands behind her to touch one of Lily's hands.  
"Alright, alright I'll sort her, she'll not bother you both anymore. Sorry for any shit" taking hold of the drunk woman and taking her away from the bar.  
Alex turned around looking down at Lily, guiding her away from the front of the bar and to the quietest corner she could find in the packed bar.  
"Are you ok?" Alex said, watching Lily give another little nod. "I mean really ok?".  
"S...she frightened me" her blue eyes wider than before.  
"I know, I know she did" pulling the younger woman into her, kissing the top of her head. "That's why I came over, seeing her near you like that I wasn't going to stand for it, I won't have it from anyone towards you, won't have them hurt you, they hurt me before they harm a hair on your head" feeling Lily look up at her, a strange look ghosting over the blonde's face.  
"I...I..I can't..I have to go and...and don't follow me, just...just leave me alone, I....I don't want this, I can't do it, I don't want this with you, any of it, I don't want to see you anymore Alex!" her voice breaking and eyes welling with tears as she pushed away from the brunette and through the crowded bar, leaving a stunned Alex in her wake.

 

"What the hell?! Alright...alright I'm coming, hang on" Serena mumbled sleepily to the pounding on the door.  
Bloody 1:30 in the morning, who the hell could this be?  
It better be bloody important or else they'll feel the wrath of me.  
So help them!  
Unlocking the door, Serena opened it slightly, squinting at the figure on the doorstep, opening her eyes that bit more as they adjusted to being awake, the figure of a certain blonde doctor coming into focus.  
Lily.  
"Lily?".  
"I...I'm sorry, I just....I didn't know where else to go. I....I'm sorry" turning to head back down the driveway, her clothes saturated from the rain that had recently started.  
"No wait, don't be silly....Bernie?!" Serena called back into the house, grateful of the fact Jason was spending the bank holiday weekend at Alan's, because he wouldn't have liked being disturbed at this time in the morning.  
"Bernie!?" she called again that bit louder.  
"Yes I'm coming now" fast footsteps on the landing and then coming down the stairs. "What's going on...oh Lily?" frowning at seeing the young doctor being ushered into the house, she being the last person she'd have expected to see.  
Hearing her name Lily looked up through the water dripping from her hair, straight to Bernie, the sight of the trauma surgeon enough to cause Lily's temporary resolve to evaporate and start a barrage of sobs, the young woman covering her face with her hands.  
"Now then, what's all this?" Bernie said, frowning in confusion at Serena and giving a shrug, her arms around the young woman.  
"I..I was out, Alex and I played mini golf, then had food, then drinks and a woman tried to touch me, Alex stopped her, protected me and then I said I didn't want it anymore, didn't want anything anymore with her, didn't want to see her anymore" the words coming out in a rush, both surgeons just about making sense of what the young doctor had said, the three of them now sat in the living room, Lily in the middle of the both, all three women sat on the sofa.  
"Ok..and is there a reason why you decided you didn't want to see her or have anything to do with her anymore?" Serena asked, glancing to Bernie and then back to Lily.  
Lily gave a shrug as she cried, her head in her hands.  
"There must be a reason, I thought you liked Alex?" the brunette asked, trying to see if she could get Lily to open up a little.  
This seemed to make the young woman cry that bit harder.  
"I...I do..".  
Serena raised her eyebrows at the answer.  
"Then I don't understand...".  
"She...She needs to stay away.." Lily blurted out suddenly. "B...because I've sent her away before she goes away alright, it's easier this way. She needs to stay away from me!" her head into her hands.

 

"I'll be back in a minute" Bernie said, leaving the living room, retrieving her phone from the bedroom and sitting on the bed as she found and then rang Alex's number.  
"Yep?".  
"Alex, where are you? Are you ok?" cringing at the question considering Lily was downstairs.  
"Home, why?" her voice sad and it sounded to Bernie like she'd been crying.  
"I know what's happened Alex, I know she stormed out tonight".  
Alex's breath hitched in her throat.  
"So now you can laugh, or blame me, say it was all my fault, that I messed it up again eh?".  
"No not at all, I wasn't going to say anything like that, I just wanted to ring to ask if you were ok given the circumstances".  
"Considering earlier tonight I was looking forward to my afternoon and evening and now I'm here on my own, totally confused and heartbroken.." covering her mouth trying to disguise a stifled cry, Alex stopped speaking, putting her head in her hands, the phone next to her on the sofa, not bothering who heard her as she broke down again, body shaking with anguished cries.  
Hanging up the call Bernie moved through into the living room, whispering in Serena's ear.  
"Alex is in a bad way, I'm going to have to go round and check on her, is that ok?".  
Looking up at her the brunette nodded.  
"Course, just be careful driving ok?".  
"Of course I will" leaning down and gently kissing Serena. "I love you".  
"I love you too".

 

Quickly pulling on a pair of jogging pants and a sweatshirt, her sneakers near the door, collecting her car keys and heading out of the door.  
Arriving outside Alex's house, she locked her car and made her way to the front door, finding it unlocked, quietly making her way inside, locking it behind her.  
"Alex?" she called, the entire house in darkness apart from the dim light coming from the half open living room.  
Making her way to where the sound of rustling was coming from, she pushed the living room door fully open, the other woman nowhere to be seen here, some noise still coming from the kitchen.  
Rounding the corner of the dining room, Bernie found Alex leant forward against the counter, her eyes closed, sniffling, a glass and a half drunk bottle of wine nearby.  
"Alex.." Bernie said softly, trying not to startle her.  
Hearing her name the brunette looked up, her face and eyes red from crying.  
In one motion she picked up the wine glass and threw it at the far wall, at the opposite side of the room to where her and Bernie stood, the glass exploding on impact with the wall, the wine dripping down the painted surface.   
With a pained cry the brunette leaned back against the work top, sliding down the kitchen cupboards, ending up sat on the kitchen floor, sobbing.  
Right Bernie, now is your turn to try and somehow sort this out.  
God knows how I'm meant to sort this mess out.  
Fucking hell is it a mess.  
One big bloody mess.  
That somehow needs sorting, one way or the other.


	58. Chapter 58

"Alright, let's get you somewhere more comfortable" Bernie said helping Alex up off the floor, the brunette still crying as she sat on the sofa with her.  
She gently rubbed Alex's upper arm trying to comfort her, ending up hugging her, the other woman crying into her hands leant against Bernie.  
"What's...what's happened eh?".  
"I..I don't...don't know".  
"Lily is at ours" Bernie said, not wanting to lie to her friend.  
The mention of the name caused Alex to press closer to the trauma surgeon, her face still in her hands.  
"She said she told you she didn't want to see you anymore and didn't want anything, it's not true Alex".  
Moving her head from her hands she looked up at Bernie, her cheeks wet with tears.  
"But..." frowning in confusion.  
"She admitted she said it because she's pushing you away before you go away. And before you say anything I know you wouldn't do that, we all know you wouldn't, even Lily does to a certain extent, she's just...she's scared, scared because of the both of you are getting closer and the fact that you're nice to her, that you treat her well, that you like her for her. These things are scary for her and I'm not excusing her behaviour and what she's done, I'm just trying to help things be understood better" Bernie explained.  
I actually sound like a counsellor right now.  
A relationship one.  
Who would have thought it.  
Bernie Wolfe is helping other people sort their relationships.  
Bloody hell how times change.

 

"So..so she, she does want me?" Alex asked quietly.  
Bernie nodded yes.  
"Yeah she does, when Serena asked her just before about her liking you, she says she does".  
"Then I...I don't understand, all that tonight in the bar, the...the telling me to go away, she didn't want anything to do with me, or see me...".  
Bernie sighed softly.  
"I know, I know what you're saying. Look...I think these answers will be best coming from Lily herself, I think I need to take you back to ours and for the two of you to talk...properly. Serena and I will be there, not actually in the room but in the house if needed and the both of you need to sort this out, get it all out. What do you say?".  
Alex nodded reluctantly, giving a sigh, following Bernie from the living room, locking her front door and getting into the trauma surgeons car.  
Walking up the drive, Alex paused at the front door to her friend's house, nervous.  
"It's okay, it'll get sorted Alex, remember Serena and I are here and Lily is just as nervous as you" the blonde said, having text Serena to let her know that she was on her way back with Alex.  
Moving into the house, Bernie went into the living room first, Alex not following, preferring to wait in the hallway until she had to go in.  
"Everything ok?" Bernie asked, Serena and Lily sat on the sofa still, the brunette nodded to her girlfriend.  
"Yes, I've said to Lily that Alex is here and they need to talk, to sort this out. Haven't I Lily?" the young doctor nodding, fiddling with her fingers.  
"Right well, I think it's about time you two talked and if you need either of us we'll be upstairs, all you have to do is let us know, ok?" Lily nodding again as she looked at Bernie, the trauma surgeon opening the living room door some more beckoning Alex into the room.  
Stepping into the room Alex quickly glanced to the young blonde on the sofa and then down to the floor again, Lily doing the same to Alex.  
Taking Serena's hand, Bernie helped her up from the sofa, leaving the room and squeezing Alex's arm reassuringly as they went past, leaving the two women alone, Lily on the sofa, Alex stood by the door.  
Fiddling with hands Alex stepped to the chair near the window, sitting down on it, eyes still to the floor.

 

"I just..." Lily started, clearing her throat to try again. "W...What happened tonight, I...I didn't mean...mean it too".  
"Well it did happen didn't it" Alex replied bluntly.  
Lily swallowed at the response.  
She's hurting.  
She never is like this unless something bad happens.  
Unless she's upset, hurt, mad.  
It's just not Alex's nature.  
"Yeah, it...it did and...and it's my fault" Alex's eyes looking up to get a look at the woman who was speaking, Lily catching her eyes.   
"I got the impression it was mine" Alex answered bluntly, the response catching Lily off guard.  
The blonde shaking her head.  
"No...no it wasn't, it's not your fault".  
"Well it feels that way, feels like I did something wrong, or didn't do enough, or did too much. Fuck knows" sighed Alex, putting her head in her hands.  
"It's...it's not that..it's just.." now it was Lily's turn to sigh, trying to fathom a way to explain what was happening in her head.  
"Just what, because I'm at a loss to what I've done, or what I haven't done, one minute we're in a bar having a nice time, I get rid of that woman and then next thing I know you're getting rid of me, walking out and telling me you don't want to see me anymore, to leave you alone, for well as far as I can see, nothing" her eyes not moving from Lily.  
"I know...I just...got scared".  
"Scared? Scared of what though, I don't understand" Alex's tone getting that bit more annoyed at the lack of answers and explanations she was getting.  
"Of this between us, I...I've never had someone treat me as well as you, be as nice as you are. That in the bar tonight, you stepping in and protecting me, standing in between me and that woman, I've never had that before, the opposite really, she'd....she'd have in the past just let it happen to me, well that or hit me herself" quickly looking to Alex and then back to her hands.  
"You mean your ex?".  
Lily nodded. "Yes".

 

Alex thought for a moment, trying to work out her next question to Lily.  
"What happened Lily, what else did she do? Was it more than what you've told me?" thinking maybe this was another reason for Lily's behaviour and reaction.  
The young woman swallowed and closed her eyes at the question.  
Do I tell her?  
Do I not tell her?  
I can't lie, not after all that's happened.  
I've just got to be honest even though it's scary.  
I have to allow her to make her own mind up.  
Not me doing that for her.  
"Y..Yes. She...She'd sometimes force...force herself on me, then say I'd caused her to be like that with me. I...I'd think maybe it was my fault, that I'd been the cause of it, cause her to be angry and then hit me. Somehow not be good enough hence her...her going out and cheating on me, after all she'd say I wasn't good enough and that no one would want me when we'd argue. I remember once...once we were out and some random woman came over to me in a gay bar pawing at me when she was drunk, a bit like tonight, and she just stood there with her friends, never did anything, just left me to try to get this woman away from me, thankfully one of the security guys saw her and helped me out, got her away from me and chucked her out. Then there came you, our first ever date, blind date, I jumped at that smashed glass and ran into the toilets because it startled me, you could've walked away or belittled me, but you didn't, you did the opposite, the opposite of what I expected, you held me" pausing for a minute to wipe a couple of stray tears from her eyes, Alex's eyes straight on her, listening, watching.  
"To have someone do that when they don't know you is odd, but...but nice, something I'd not experienced before. Then there's tonight, that woman I knew wouldn't do anything to me because you were there, yeah she scared me but I knew you were there in between us, protecting me, keeping me safe. It just....it triggered it, she triggered something, suddenly all I was thinking was how many times would Alex actually do this, actually put up with me getting upset, being scared, needing this..this 'protection', needing reassurance, being handled with what some might say kid gloves. That's why I ran, why my mouth blurted out that I couldn't do it, that I didn't want you following me, because...because it seemed easier, easier for me to do and say this than...than you possibly, or in my mind, you certainly leaving me, finding it all too much work I suppose, effort, hassle, whatever. I can't go through that again, letting you get close enough to hurt me is scary, because getting close in itself is scary, scary as hell, it's like opening Pandora's box, except the box is my heart and to open that up again, to start to show that is so fucking scary and the fear overtakes me, the fear mixed with the want to get that little bit closer to you, to let you get close to me, to let you...let you hold me the way you do, because when you do, when you hold me it feels nice, it's just...it's scary Alex, but I don't want it to be, I felt like I don't know what's what tonight, like my head doesn't know anything because I got and do get confused when things take over" her tears starting to fall faster as she spoke, covering her face with her hands to try and grab at some form of control.  
Alex watched the young woman in front of her start to cry again, the anguish in her words as she told her story.  
She really is petrified of me getting too close and then leaving.  
Leaving her with a broken heart all over again.  
This now makes more sense than what I understood before.  
Before I understood next to nothing, sure I'd heard bits, but didn't have a full picture, now I do.  
How much of an idiot would I be to leave her.  
A fucking big one.  
Bernie would be the first one to tell me this.  
And she'd be right.

 

"I know...I know I was wrong in what I did, I should never have said what I did, nor should I have walked out, I just....I'm sorry..." she babbled through her hands, not uncovering her face.  
Getting up from the chair she was sat in, Alex moved to sit next to Lily on the sofa, turning the young doctor to face her, still she didn't move her hands.  
"Look at me, Lily, please look at me" waiting as the blonde's face slowly was revealed from behind her hands, her face red with tears.  
"Yes I was hurt and angry when you left tonight and said what you said, but it was more so because I didn't understand. I couldn't understand what had caused it, what made the situation change like that, now you've spoken to me about it I understand more, it makes the whole incident tonight more understandable. What happened to you was unforgivable, she should never have done those things to you, she didn't deserve you, no matter what she said you didn't deserve any of those things happening to you, she was an arsehole. And as for protecting you tonight, damn right I was going to do it, I wouldn't stand by and let anyone hurt you, as I say, they'd harm me before they touched you. Do you...do you want me around, around with you?" knowing she was scared of the answer, but knowing she needed to ask it anyway for her own piece of mind.  
"Y...Yeah I...I do, I'm just...I just, that piece of my brain that deals with the past sometimes rears up and tells me or reminds me that you could very well leave and or get fed up of me, that I'll open up and take steps to get close and that it'll happen again, that I'll be on my own, that I'll get hurt. But then something else in my mind tells me that I've got to be brave, that I've got to allow you in, allow you to get closer, because you're not anything or anyone in or to do with my past, you're you, you're Alex and it's not fair to judge you on their horrible standards".  
"So you don't want me to go anywhere?" Alex asked, knowing what Lily would probably answer but needing to hear it herself.  
She shook her head.  
"N..No, I don't...I don't...I just...I don't want to be a burden, to..to push you away, to be the cause of your unhappiness".  
Alex took hold of Lily's hands, her eyes with the other woman's.

 

"The only way you could be the cause of my unhappiness is if you push me away without giving me a fair chance. I know it's not easy for you given previous circumstances, but as you say I'm not them and haven't any part of what happened to you. I think we both deserve a shot at this, a shot at being happy. If you start to feel scared or something, like you want to push away again then talk to me about how you're feeling, this way we can talk through it and try and sort it out, if I don't know then I can't help hmm?" trying to suggest ways of sorting this type of problem sooner rather than later, to help Lily deal with it easier before it got too much.  
Lily nodded her agreement, dried tear tracks on her cheeks.  
"I don't want to push you away, the opposite in fact, I'd like to bring you closer to me, and me to get closer to you" the young doctor replied, keeping hold of Alex's hand.  
"I'd like this too, small and steady steps, the two of us just enjoying spending time together. Y'know we could start this getting closer thing now, right here" Alex replied, brushing Lily's fingers with her thumbs.  
The blonde frowned softly, not quite understanding Alex's suggestion.  
Alex leaned her face close to Lily's, whispering.  
"I really like your hugs" she explained, watching as the frown softened on Lily's face, the younger woman releasing her hands with Alex's and sliding her arms around Alex, pulling them closer together, Alex mirroring her action, pulling Lily close, their chins resting on the others shoulder.  
"And I...I really like you" Lily whispered into Alex's ear then closed her eyes enjoying being close to the older woman again, the words making Alex smile, giving Lily a gentle squeeze.


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well what can I say to you awesome, brilliant, amazing readers other than a mahoosive thank you, thank you all so much for your comments, your kudos, your support, everything! :D  
> Although this is the final chapter of this fic, I have plans to write more soon, so it might not be the last you'll see of me, if that's what is wanted?! :P  
> Thank you all once again for being just brilliant, you're all awesome!  
> Enjoy! :D
> 
> #Ihopeso #KeepTheFaith #Youreallawesome

Strange.  
Is that the right word?  
Alien.  
Right but not right at the same time.  
Like it was your first day at school or a new job.  
First day you'd walked through the doors.  
The smells, sights, sounds.  
Just being here.  
The first time of being here in months.  
Here in this building.  
In this place.  
The place it all happened.  
The place it nearly ended.

 

"....are you ok?" came the voice that sounded distant, nearby but also far away.  
"....hello, are you ok?" it repeated, causing Bernie to glance in the direction it was coming from, seeing Serena come into focus stood at the door to the office looking at her.  
"Hm?".  
"I said are you ok, you seem miles away?" Serena replied her eyes showing a slight concern.  
"Yes I'm fine, I've got to get back, got a few patients to see" Bernie replied bluntly, half smiling at the brunette as she moved off the chair past her and straight out the office into the ward, leaving a frowning Serena in her wake.  
"Ms Wolfe can I have a word please?" Serena asked a couple of hours later, the shift on her part had been going well but she wasn't sure about Bernie's, she'd seen the blonde falter a little every now and then, be it with a patient or when she'd walked away from treating them, when she'd collected the notes from the nurse's station or when she'd been near the room that that nearly fateful incident had happened.  
"Yes?" asked Bernie as Serena moved them both into the office and shut the door, the trauma surgeon standing near her desk.  
"Are you ok? Serena said softly perching on the edge of desk herself.  
"I'm fine, why?".  
"No reason, I just...I've seen you be a bit distant, faltering a bit the last few hours, fumbling a bit I suppose" not sure how to describe what she'd seen behaviour wise from Bernie.  
Bernie's brow furrowed at the comment, her stance changing instantly.  
"Faltering? Fumbling? What does that mean exactly?" her tone becoming that bit sharper.  
"It doesn't mean anything, it's merely an observation that I saw, I just wondered if everything was ok?" Serena replied.  
"It obviously means something Serena, don't you think I can do the job is that it? Think I'm no longer capable of being here, here on AAU or in Holby?!" her tone raising rapidly, hazel eyes narrowing and her jaw tensing, staring straight at the brunette.  
"Just calm down Bernie, it's nothing like that at all. I was only asking if you were ok, first day back and all that, if you were nervous or anything of the sort then it'd be completely understandable, I'd be the same".  
"No you wouldn't, you'd be straight back to it, everything running like clockwork under the reliable and genius eye and hand of Serena Campbell. Not like me, not Bernie Wolfe, the haphazard army major who nearly got herself killed by going gung ho into that room as per usual. Who is now back at work not quite cutting it because she's still not herself, still not got all her marbles in that head of hers, still not quite there on the smart scale, not quite the pristine bedside manner that even doctors like Dr Digby and nurse Fletcher seem to have!" tears building in her eyes and threatening to spill down her cheeks.

 

Serena frowned heavily at the statement, shaking her head.  
"Don't say that, this isn't true at all, none of it. You're an equal to me, you're a smart woman and just as valuable to AAU as me or anyone here, AAU would be lost without you, it wouldn't be the same, it wasn't the same whilst you were away" she replied, stepping towards the other woman.  
It was now Bernie's turn to shake her head, her hands shaking slightly, stepping back so her legs hit the back of her chair, jumping at the contact having not realised she was that close to it, half turning to look down at the offending item and then back to Serena.  
"Bernie".  
"D...Don't".  
"Don't what darling?".  
"Don't...just don't come near me, just leave me alone" her hands making a motion for the brunette to go away, not looking at Serena anymore.  
Serena took a moment to wander her eyes over the blonde in front of her, the way her hands seemed to be moving into fists, shuffling on the spot, not making eye contact with her, wanting Serena to leave her alone.  
Defence.  
Defence mechanisms is what this was.  
Since I've been watching her recover I've seen the way it's affected her, the frustration it's brought her.  
But it's not aggression, it's the opposite, it's fear, doubt, doubt in herself and her own ability.  
But I don't have doubt, no doubt whatsoever in either her or her ability.  
Never have had.

 

"Bernie" gently stepping forward and covering the blonde's fists with her own hands, the touch bringing Bernie's gaze up to Serena's. "Sit down" guiding the trauma surgeon into her chair, dragging her own chair over so she could sit in front of her, retaking her hands.  
"I'm sorry but I don't think it's in my ability to leave you alone, I couldn't do it even if I tried, medical school didn't teach us about not being in love anymore with amazing blonde, macho army medics" watching hazel eyes half look up at her, causing Serena to smile.  
"And as for the rest of it, well, that's just so not true, AAU without Bernie Wolfe...I can't even imagine it and neither would the rest of the team. Who would we have to kick the team into gear when there's panic stations at having people flooding through the doors, various injuries and emergencies, F1's running around like they're headless chickens who've never seen patient notes, or even patients themselves before. When I'm looking at a jam packed AAU thinking that there's no way we can even begin to start getting through these patients, let alone the operations that have been booked in for the day and the various other things Henrik and the rest of Holby are just waiting to throw at us regardless of it being convenient or not, or if we have the actual hands and personnel to do said things. Then who do I know is right there at my side, the calming influence, the steady hands, the cool and organised head, the one who know just how to stop things right there and then at the drop of a hat get the department running like a well oiled machine, packed AAU or not, it doesn't make a difference, you can just have that effect, it's like someone waved a wand and the chaos is markedly reduced and everyone knows what to do and timings and everything. I can't do that, just you and I know for a stone wall fact that I couldn't do what I do here without you, none of us could, we all need and have missed Berenice Wolfe, me so much more than them, but I don't tell them that".  
Listening to Serena speak, Bernie's eyes trained on the face of the vascular surgeon, giving her a small smile when she was quiet, a flash of shyness across the blonde's features.  
"We learned it in the army, having a cool head in the battlefield, no time for faffing and getting all panicked and unorganised when people need help and you're fighting wars, it just couldn't happen" she offered.  
"And that expertise is something we could never replace here without you. Yes you might be what do they call it...rusty? But who wouldn't be after what you've been through the past few months, you've come such a long way and you're making such a brilliant recovery, which still is happening every day, every day you're getting stronger and like your old self, I can see it every single day. So what if you have off days, days which are shit, we all have them and we've not been through a quarter of what you have. Yes they're crap days and they might make you frustrated but that's ok too, as long as you express this and don't hold it in to eat away at you then that's ok too. The amount of bad days I've had here, I think I'm well ahead of the bad days status, days when I thought could I ever regain what I was like and yes I did, as will you, just got to take your time and let it come as it comes, the fact you're back to work is amazing and you're still you too, regardless of what you think".  
Bernie nodded to her.

 

"I do feel more like myself, suppose...I suppose I just want to be back here and it all to be fine now, but I know it'll take time to find my feet one hundred percent again, even if I'm not the most patient person in the world. But everyone here has been so supportive and helpful to me, I just don't want to let any of you down" she shrugged.  
Serena kissed the blonde's knuckles.  
"We're like that because we all love you and want and need you here, I love you the most though" Serena winked, causing Bernie to chuckle, the tension lifting from her face.  
"I love you the most and am so grateful for all you've done and continue to do for me, I could never even begin to repay all you've done for me, it's....it's well amazing and something I could never have imagine being lucky enough to have done for me, never in my wildest dreams".  
"It's because it's you, I'd hope you know by now I'd do anything for you, anything at all because I love you, by god do I love you. Oh and for the record the only possible way you could let any of us down is by not being here and giving up, not being here and just being Bernie Wolfe, we're not bothered about anything else, we all just want you here and for you to be yourself, nothing more nothing less, that's it".  
Bernie shook her head and smiled at the brunette's words, still it seemed unable to believe that she had such an amazing woman in front of her and this same woman was the one that had agreed to marry her, agreed to become her wife.  
Fucking hell Wolfe.  
Talk about lucky.  
The luckiest woman ever.  
The luckiest.  
"You're just...just so amazing and how I got so lucky I will never know, let alone the fact you just accept me for who I am despite my various faults and flaws, it blows my mind sometimes when I look at you, look at you and know you're mine. I love you so much".  
Serena smiled widely at Bernie's words, linking their hands and making sure she had Bernie's eyes before speaking again.  
"I wouldn't have you any other way because then you wouldn't be Bernie, my Bernie. As for the other things, well, these are things I don't think really have questions or reasons to them, not really, although if I myself had to say something about why I do the things I do especially for you then I'd definitely say, it's all in the name of love".


End file.
